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I feel embarrassed posting another one like this, but its been months since my first attempt at whole 30, and I have yet to make it more than 21 days. I have an issue with binge eating, and every time I start feeling good, the urge to eat sugar creeps back in and I feel helpless against it. I'm not sure what to do. Today was day 8 for probably the 8th time and after work I had the worst cravings for sweets and I ended up eating two pints of ice cream. I feel horrible and I know I will wake up feeling even worse than I do now. I hate being trapped in this cycle and I desperatly want to break it. I know it would be helpful to see a therapist. But I don't have access to one right now. I know that the whole 30 is the healthiest way of eating for me, and I really want to do this. I'm not ready to give up. I desperatly need some advice for sticking to the plan. My wedding is 3 months away and while I know this isn't all about weight loss, it is a really important goal of mine to lose some weight so that I will feel confident and beautiful on my wedding day. I feel trapped in a body that doesn't represent who I am inside. If anyone has any relevant advice, please pass it my way. This community has been so supportive.

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8 lots of 8 days eating W30 is 2 months - that's a pretty good chunk of time, and 2 months where you weren't eating foods that are potentially damaging your health.

 

Do you think this "urge to eat sugar creeps back in and I feel helpless against it" is you sabotaging yourself? Are there things that you've said to yourself "When I finish the Whole30/lose weight, I'll do xxx " or "my life will be so much better" - that's an awful lot of pressure for your brain to cope with, and it might just be saying "Hell, I'll have to actually DO xxx, it's a lot easier to just stay right where we are" and so sends you signals to binge.

 

Did you happen to have the icecream at your house, or did you go out and buy it? Would leaving all money at home help at all, so that you don't have the ability to buy food on the way home?

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Okay...first I want to say that you are amazing. You are brave for posting this and trying to tackle this problem head on. I will tell you this, my wedding day was May 26th and it was simply beautiful and I felt AMAZING (my default picture is my wedding day). I didn't lose a single pound and I was distraught the weeks leading up to it...I had gained so much weight that I was certain I'd feel awful if I didn't lose 10 pounds for my wedding. Well, I was wrong. It didn't happen but I felt beautiful and I was so happy to be marrying the most amazing man in the world. I told myself that if necessary I would retake the photos once I felt better about myself but it turns out that I don't need to. I am fine with them. My point is that you will feel beautiful on that day and you will BE beautiful, don't add additional stress on top of the already overwhelming process that IS wedding planning. 

 

Food-wise...well, that's a tough one. Maybe you should start journaling and have a back up plan for when those cravings strike. I mean, it's easy for people to say "don't have it around" or "just say no" or "think twice before eating something" but I think having an ACTUAL plan for those moments is more useful. So, keeping fruit on hand (fresh) or chopped/fresh veggies with fresh avocado made into guacamole...all in abundance so that you can get the satisfaction of eating without completely derailing yourself. Maybe slicing celery, cucumber, and steaming some broccoli for snacking would also help. I mean, getting to the root issue is important but in the meantime you need to find a way to set yourself up for success. I think this would be my strategy. 

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GoJO- I think maybe you are on to something about my thoughts and putting to much pressure on myself. I do find myself constantly thinking about what it will be like when I'm in shape again and what I will be able to do when I get there (finally buy some new clothes, where a bathing suit, work out with friends, etc.)

I don't keep trigger foods in my house, so whenever I get derailed I go out and buy whatever it is I'm fixated on. Every time I say its the last time. I'm saying that right now and I really want it to be that way.

Runninglawyer- thanks for the encouragment and sharing your wedding experience with me. I've even had a couple nightmares where it was my wedding day and I was absolutely distraught because I hadn't lost weight. I think part of my problem is that I know I've been so much healthier and in such great shape and maintained it for a long time. It makes me feel even guiltier for getting to where I am now. I think I would look and feel great if I lost about 25 lbs. I think I could lose that much if I kick this habit and stick with the plan for 3 months....so a whole 90. I've tried having veggies on hand for when the urge strikes, but they just don't appeal to me at all when I'm craving sweets. I know its because I am not truly hungry when I have these cravings. I think even if I didn't lose 25 lbs, I would feel so much happier when my wedding comes around if I could kick the binge eating. I feel that it is holding me back from so much.

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Have you checked out the Whole9 consulting page? http://whole9life.com/personal-consulting

 

I wonder if the accountability of one-on-one assistance would be helpful to you?

 

Along the same line of thinking, do you have an Overeaters Anonymous chapter in your area? Might be worth visiting to see if the structure and support of such a group is a fit for you?

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These problems are not easy ones to solve but good on you for trying and trying. It may not feel like it but you are making progress even if its very slow and feels like you will never succeed. You are succeeding by not giving up!

Sometimes I was able to kill my cravings by having salty/oily foods like olives, or guacamole with carrots, sometimes even a spoon of ghee with salt.

Good luck!

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Just know that you are not alone.

I am doing a Whole30/40/50/60something (Day 20 today) as a last ditch effort to stop a lifelong swing from one ED to another (I go from compulsive binge eating to anorexia and back again.) I am lucky enough to be doing this alongside therapy, so I am not sure I have any helpful advice, other than to say that what you do and how you feel is not unique to you. The cycle of binge eating and then guilt and then shame and then more binge eating is something so many of us know and understand. It is miserable but it is possible to overcome it.

Keep your chin up and tackle it one day at a time. Celebrate the small victories. Ditching ALL sugar is the only way I have managed to string together more than a couple of binge free days. You have to break the back of the sugar demons.

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It's tough with the wedding coming up and wanting to slim down. I think we can all understand why you want that. It would be great if you could stop worrying about weight gain, and just eat healthy food. i.e. if you are craving sweets, eat something else to get past it...pickles seem to work for me sometimes...something with a strong flavor. You should stay away from fruit for now because that will just prolong the cravings. If you could just focus on getting past the sugar cravings, it could be smooth(er) sailing after that. You probably need at least 2 weeks to start to feel like you have better control over the sugar demon, maybe even 3-4. That still gives you time to lose a few pounds before the wedding. Could you try to relax about your weight for ~3 weeks and just focus on getting beyond the sugar issues? It might help you in the long run anyway. Stressing over weight loss makes it so much harder.

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I think everyone here has given you great advice!! I also wanted to mention working out!! I workout every day and weight lifting makes me feel great! It truly does. I am 20 pounds heavier than my usual weight and I feel awful but I am determined to be comfortable with my body. Removing the pressure of my wedding has helped me mentally but it has also removed any sense of urgency. So I think having a great REASON is actually a good thing.

I caution you not to make lofty weight goals such as 25 pounds in 3 months. While it's POSSIBLE, it's certainly NOT likely. That's essentially 8 pounds a month, 2 pounds a week, and unless you're extremely overweight I'm rather skeptical that you'll be able to achieve that rate of weight loss without severe restriction. I say just make it your goal to make it through the whole 30, then reassess and mauve turn it into a whole 60 and then a whole 90.!

I know counting calories isn't recommended but 2 pounds a week is a 1000 calorie deficit which means you'd likely be eating 800-1200 calories a day depending on your exercise level. That's not much and it's surely hard to sustain for 3 entire months...MAYBE during the last month you could do it but you'd more than likely burn out if you were that restrictive out the gates. So, I hope you reconsider.

4-6 pounds the first 2 months and 6-8 the last month will put you at 14-20 pounds lost and that's awesome. I guarantee you'll feel amazing and less likely to have a rebound weight gain due to the severe restriction.

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My situation is not like yours, but I thought I would share a little tweak in my head that I stumbled across recently in the hopes that it might be useful 

 

I have been struggling with wanting to go off plan a lot lately, now that I have finished a W30 but have not had all the results I want in terms of fat and inches lost (to heck with the lbs).  

 

I suddenly started asking myself NOT "do I want wine/cookies/ice cream?" because the answer to that was "hell, yes!" but rather "Is this particular instance of cookie/ice cream/wine/whatever worth it, worth breaking my streak?"  

 

I think what made the difference was twofold: framing it in terms of my past accomplishment AND framing it in terms of a particular item, not the idea of the item.  Because the idea of the item is almost always better than the item itself.  And if I think about the particular example instead of the idealized general, it's often obvious true that no, this one is NOT worth it.  (And I leave open the possibility that another one could be worth it, which removes the "oh, no, I can never have X again!" reflex.)

 

I hope you get some comfort/support from this forum, and thank you for asking that question -- you are certainly not alone in this struggle.  And I wish you all the best -- weddings are amazingly stressful even in very good circumstances.  Just ask my husband, who saw me burst out sobbing in public twice in the week before my wedding, once just because the music in an outdoor pizza joint was too loud...  {I cry buckets for Hallmark commercials and sad things in the world, but not for myself as a rule.}

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This plan is NOT about the calories. Eating the Whole 30 way will often be more calories than you would eat to lose weight. On the same note, this plan is about reframing how you think about food. It is about coming to terms with the habits you are not so proud of, and replacing them with habits that honor yourself and your body.

Eating protein, fat and vegetables (carbs) will train your body to use fat as fuel. 25 pounds in three months would not be impossible. Maybe not even difficult. But staying away from the unhealthy habits you have formed and making better choices for your body will be the challenge.

When you feel the urge to binge, think it all the way through. Picture yourself buying and consuming the ice cream (or whatever) and feeling the remorse and guilt. Picture the next day and all the terrible feelings you will have. Chances are this may help you make a better choice for yourself.

You know what to do, and you are stronger than you think. Good job coming here for help. We are here for you.

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I agree with the definitely not impossible to lose the weight sentiment. I lost almost 15 (10% BW) lbs in my Whole30, and I ate as much as I wanted in the guidelines of the program. I know some of that was muscle (shoulder injury was getting worse, and the only thing I could do was bike, which made my knee angry) but it's definitely possible. Oh, and I was 5'11" and 158 to start off with. Since reintro (and surgery and physical therapy) I'm probably back up a little bit above that, but I was at the weight that I was when I was deployed to Afghanistan, walking a mile one-way to work in the heat and working out (running/biking/lifting) 6 days a week.

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Country Girl, please do not be sad and frustrated.  You are trying to heal yourself and sometimes it takes some of us a long time.  It takes guts to own this.  And you are owning this.

 

The problem with binge eating is that your mind focuses on one thing it wants and one thing only.  When you get like this I find distracting works.  So have a game plan of distractions.  So lets say I want a chocolate bar.  I will go to the store telling myself I need a treat. (It used to be ice cream chocolate or chips) now while I'm there I still want one of those 3,  But I can usually convince myself to buy a new box of teas or a magazine.  Something that I deam as a "treat"

 

I also try to put it into perspective.  1. between 1 - 10 how much do I want said treat (10 being very much) If it is under 7 I don't even consider walking to the store and the conversation ends there.  If it is over 7 then I go on to the next question.  2.  Why do I want said treat?  If I tell myself  it's because I've had a lousy day and I need a pick me up.  Okay let's consider it.  If it is "just because" or I'm bored.  Shoot that in the foot and move on.  3.  Considering going to the store. What will I buy instead? What will a good treat instead of X? Weather it be nail polish, magazines, tea you name it.  Make a plan.  This generally helps.

 

Best of luck!  You can do this.

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You're so brave for sharing your honest feelings here. A lot of us can relate with what you're saying. I think focusing on changing your relationship with food will be huge for you. Instead of thinking about how you can't have sweets, keep some Whole30 approved foods ready for when you feel a craving coming on.

 

In the book "It Starts with Food" they have a great suggestion for how to deal with cravings. When you think you're hungry and want to grab something to eat, first stop and ask yourself if eating a piece of steamed fish and broccoli would appeal to you at that moment. If not, then you're not actually hungry. Go do something else, like go for a walk, call a friend, whatever a good distraction is for you. If it DOES seem appealing, then you're actually hungry, and you should eat something (protein, some veggies, healthy fat, and even a little fruit). But they actually recommend against just grabbing a piece of fruit, because fruit has sugar in it, and all your brain knows is it craved sugar and you gave it sugar. It doesn't know or care that the sugar came from fruit and not a candy bar. So consider a more satisfying snack that's higher in protein/fat and lower in carbs.

 

Stick with it! This is a lifestyle change, not a diet, so each positive step you take brings you that much closer to lifelong health.

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Adding to the above, I have seen here on these forums several times where women talk about wanting to lose weight for their weddings.  I would love to wave a magic wand so that every bride would understand that she is exactly as she needs to be for her wedding and beyond.  The person marrying you is not marrying you because you are a certain weight, and the folks coming to your wedding want to know you are having a good time and that you are in love.

 

Maybe stay away from magazines and media featuring photos of starving twenty year olds who are six feet tall and haven't actually completed puberty.  Look into your partner's eyes and see what s/he sees in you.  That's the truth.  The stuff society says to us about how we ought to look in order to deserve to be happy on our own wedding days, that's just fucked up.

 

You got this.  Really.  As someone said above, you string together all those 8 day stretches and you've got lots of healthy eating under your belt.  And your relationship with food is changing.  Believe.  Promise.

 

And everyone will cry at your wedding because you'll look just like you.  The bride who is setting off on an adventure based on love.  Beautiful.

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What everyone else has said...plus..think of the non-weight based benefits of a W30 and then continuing in a W9 framework. Think how gorgeous your skin is going to look..how well rested you'll be with your better sleep habits - which will all show in your pics! As far a the binges go, while you're working through 30 days perhaps you can un-internalize the battle and take it outside yourself. If I'm in a place in my head where my self destructive urges (because that's what binging is, really) are becoming overwhelming, I think about the other people in my life. I'm trying to become the best, healthiest version of myself for many reasons. Sure, it's for me, but it's also for my husband. I don't want to be a less healthy version of myself. I want to be the best I can be - for him. I don't want to make choices that are going to make me sick down the road. That would create stress and angst for the person I care about the most. So, when I am having strong urges to eat less healthy foods, if I can't reason my way out of it for myself, then I move to the next set of reasons to make a better choice. For me, that reason is my husband. In the context of the W30, you've heard it before..planning is key. But don't just plan by having all the best foods available in your house. Also make a plan for how you're going to deal with the urge to binge when it presents itself. And it needs to be something that will work for you. I found that externalizing the reasons for NOT going off plan worked for me. That might not work for you - but something will!! You just need to find it. And also remember that while the concept of the W30 is simple..it is not EASY...but YOU CAN DO THIS!!  :) 

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aw, awesome advice on here. I am particularly inclined to do the "think it through" - that's how I get through things like this.

 

I'm sorry you don't have access to a therapist. if that becomes available I would highly suggest it.

 

when I was younger I was overweight. through puberty I suddenly lost all of it, traded my glasses for contacts, braces came off. all of a sudden people who didn't even notice me were talking to me and boys wanted to be near me. it was a very clear message to me at a young age that it doesn't matter who you are on the inside, people will only like you for what's on the outside. as I got older I gained weight and realize now that part of that was my belief that if people really liked the real me, the one on the inside, they would be friends with me no matter what. it was like my litmus test for friendship. I also had cheated on boyfriends because I never felt I had the right to say "NO"...I didn't want to cheat on my husband and I felt undesirable with the additional weight.

 

these are just two reasons for my weight gain. I'm sure there are more, but even without a therapist I figured this out. and it helped me start my journey. I would suggest trying to figure out some reasons why you feel you want to keep the weight on (are you protecting yourself? do you not feel you are worth it? etc...)

 

I finally do have a therapist and she recommended "Food, a Love Story" for me to read. I honestly haven't read it yet.

 

and finally, if you are interested, I would look for an OA meeting (overeaters anonymous). you would create a local support system and could find someone to help you through this. I personally have been sober for over 13 years and use the support of my AA sponsor as well as the principles of the 12 step program to work through some of my tougher issues.

 

SORRY for being so long winded! good luck!!!! you are doing AWESOME...99% of people do not even have the insight to get where you are today!

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I love the advice I am getting from everyone. It is so helpful to have this community for support. It was really hard for me to write this post and share what I'm going through. I feel so ashamed about it, but it is so uplifting to read all of these responses. I restarted my whole 30 today and I am focusing on all of the positive changes I've made that I have been ignoring while stressing about my weight. All of my lifts have been going up at the gym the last few weeks, my energy levels have improved, and I feel that I am improving my relationship with food. Even though I have still had binge episodes, they haven't been anywhere near as bad as they were before. Instead of lasting days, they now typically don't last more than an hour. When I do slip up, I really miss how good I feel when I am being compliant. I have also tried some great new recipes and new veggies. One thing that I have noticed is that almost every time I lose weight (another mistake I've made - getting on the scale), I tend to have a binge episode right after. I think I am for some reason afraid of letting go of the extra weight. Its weird because I feel trapped in a body that doesn't represent who I am, but at the same time, I think a part of me has come to take comfort in the extra weight. I will not be stepping foot on the scale anymore until I complete my 30 days. Now that I'm armed with so much great advice, I feel ready to take on my binge eating demon once and for all!

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Great progress Countrygirl! I have a hard time not stepping on the scale too. Maybe consider asking your fiance to hide it somewhere that you can't find it for the next 30 days? At the very least you'll burn some calories trying to find it. Ha ha :) Very happy to hear you're feeling so much better. We're all in this together!

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I think you are doing great.  I have slipped twice but I have been doing this a shorter time than you.  You are getting much further along before you slip.  I think you deserve credit for getting that many days into it.  Lonest I went was seven days.  I too have noticed an improvement but I had carb flu last night and was so sick I couldnt get to sleep until 4:00 am.  But I got through it woke up at noon and now I feel awesome and I am cooking breakfast.  Carb flu is just as awful as everyone says.  Good on everyone that stays compliant, all I wanted was to dive into my husbands potato salad in the fridge.  But I didnt.

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I've never been a keen user of bathroom scales, but I have a suggestion to get you out of the habit of weighing yourself/binging on bad things. Put the scales in the hall cupboard/tool shed. When you get your next craving for icecream/chocolate/cinnamon buns (not saying these are your things, the second two are mine actually!), go get the scales and a hammer or mallet and just go to town on it! It'll get out the stress or upset that lead you to the craving and will completely prevent you from ever jumping on the scales ever again! Because honestly, do you really need them? I think we can all tell when we gain or lose weight based on how our clothes fit, so you really don't need the scales anyway.

 

Plus, bashing the crap out of something is lots of fun! I helped my mum dismantle an old wooden shed in her backyard when I was a kid and it was awesome! You can even visualise something that upsets you - a person, your bank balance (!) a food you know is bad for you and pretend its them that is getting the wallopping.

 

But on a more serious note, it takes lots of courage to admit what you did in a public forum like this, so remember that you're brave and strong. And you have this.

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CountryGirl....

 

I am right their with you.  I have started a plan and made it 8, 12, 15, etc....days many times over the last year and then a stupid craving gets in my way.  I know that I will feel guilty, mad, irritated.....but I still do it.  I go off the plan with guilt in mind and still do it even though I know I feel so good when eating whole30 (paleo).  I think of this food as a drug and don't care how it hurts me...sad but true.  Then I spend the next day struggling with the fight in my head of stay on the plan vs you already messed up the week so just go ahead and cheat. 

 

I am reaching out because I need to make that next step and find a partner....someone that isn't my wife (which she tries whole30 and then gets mad b/c she isn't losing weight then quits....then starts...then quits...that is a hard partner right now b/c I need someone to be my crutch when I am weak) b/c I need to be able to talk to someone that isn't going to get mad or judge or whatever when I am struggling.  I always get on a roll then have the same issues....craving....giving in....guilt....start again and last 3 days or 14 days then the cycle begins again. 

 

Thanks for the helpful tips everybody...

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