Friends and acquaintances who cheat

[Guest]

I have been helping out friends and friends of friends who want to become involved with Whole30.  Along the way, I see ice cream (way beyond frozen bananas), no care for trace exposure to ingredients, "slips," "cheats," etc.  I often come here and try to find a resource that is related to back up my hard line of "a cheat is a cheat, back to day one."

 

I think I lack tact in my delivery and want to be of help.

 

Has anyone else been out there spreading the good food word with mixed results?  I could really use some advice on how to be helpful, resources to share, and how not to feel as though the Whole30 is being misrepresented by so many people!

[Physibeth]

Ultimately I feel that I can tell people my experiences and encourage them but everyone has to ride their own bike. I gently remind people that cheat either with food, the scale, or food logging that they give up their right to saying that they are doing/did a Whole30 by doing that.

 

With my friends who are just trying to go Paleo I ask them to define for me what their goals and their rules are if they want me to keep them accountable.

 

The biggest resource you have is your own experience. 

[Guest]

Thanks, your answer seems to fit your personality.  I'm a member of a group of people who are one day 24, most of them on their first, and they can't stop talking about the scale and desserts right now.  Another member contacted me and asked the question I asked...She is rocking hers and she comes here.  Those two things seem to be common threads.  I sincerely thank you.

[Kirsteen]

It's a shame that so many people come to W30 with a 'diet' mentality. I'm not trying to knock it, I think most of us have been there but it's getting past that. Nearly everyone who's ever been on a diet has at sometime 'cheated' on it, some diets even have 'cheat days' written into them. I try to explain to people that W30 is a total elimination diet - you have to totally eliminate the offending foods for 30 days to see how your body reacts when you reintroduce them and that even a tiny amount of some foods can stop that whole process working and stop your body healing.

 

Of course it doesn't always work. I just think it's sad to see people put effort into a W30 and then sabotage themselves by *cheating*. If you're going to put in that amount of effort, you want the best possible result out of it. I just keep reminding myself, I'm only responsible for what goes in my mouth, not anyone else's. Everyone's responsible for their own choices (still wish I could influence my daughter's though).

[Renee Lee]

I'll piggy back on Kirsteen and link to this Whole9 Blog post about the language of food:

 

http://whole9life.com/2012/07/language-of-food/

 

I have done everything I can to purge the word "cheat" out of my vocabulary in regards to my food choices.

[Guest]

Renée, I love it!  But, for a Whole30, the program description does use words like cheats.  If one commits to the challenge, it is a cheat to half-a## is and then call it a Whole30.  Now that I am done, I do choose treats when I think they are worth it, but not during a Whole30.

 

I do suppose that the focus is on weight loss and not on the reset.

 

I can live my life and show my example along with what I have learned here.  I just hate to see others (including the person I asked to help me with my first Whole30 who told me about egg whites and smoothies and no bananas for belly fat) out there spreading this rubbish as Whole30.  I hope there are enough of us who are spreading the good food word to really make a difference in the lives of those who are ready.

[beachchica]

Nico, it's so great you want to help others find the Whole30. This is life-changing stuff after all When I find people are raising eyebrows at the things I tell them about Whole30, or trying to make their own lax adjustments to the program, I just tell them to google "whole30" and read about it for themselves. Sometimes hearing it from someone else (or hundreds of someone elses) is just the confirmation a doubter needs. 

[Physibeth]

I'll piggy back on Kirsteen and link to this Whole9 Blog post about the language of food:

 

http://whole9life.com/2012/07/language-of-food/

 

I have done everything I can to purge the word "cheat" out of my vocabulary in regards to my food choices.

 

That is something I'm working hard at too. Paleo/W30 has seemed to "cure" my binge eating tendencies and I think part of that is the emphasis on removing the concept of cheating. When people ask me about it I tell them that when I'm on a 30 day challenge or what not I'm being mindful of the rules because it is a commitment I made but the rest of the time there is no cheating...its all just choices about more or less healthy. 

[Bet]

I think coming here helps me stay on track. I am committed, but like everyone I have my moments. I prefer illegal or non-compliant to cheat. Unless it's something like 'I'm having a cupcake, darnit', that's a cheat. If you mistakenly eat something then I say it's non-compliant.

 

I could never do smoothies, so I don't understand the fascination with them. I guess I'm lucky on that score.

[Islandgrrl]

I think the whole "cheat" mentality with respect to the Whole30 comes down to whether or not you are mentally ready to commit to the rules and why you're doing it in the first place.

I know for me, I had to be in a place mentally to give this my full attention. Until I was ready to do this 100% I would have failed because it had to be more important to me to do it than to give up for whatever reason I might have justified in my head.

[jenna@mymissingfactor]

I think the whole "cheat" mentality with respect to the Whole30 comes down to whether or not you are mentally ready to commit to the rules and why you're doing it in the first place.

I know for me, I had to be in a place mentally to give this my full attention. Until I was ready to do this 100% I would have failed because it had to be more important to me to do it than to give up for whatever reason I might have justified in my head.

This is exactly why I had to muddle over the concept of a Whole30 for a few months in my head first. To be fully on board with eliminating dairy. I would have failed if I'd tried before.

[beachchica]

Those are great points. If the desire to eat "cheat" foods is stronger than your understanding of the negative impact they have on you, then you are destined to struggle (if not entirely fail). I keep experiencing this, and it's very off-putting. One day I am 100% committed and can't fathom eating a non-Whole30 food, and the next I am struggling to overcome cravings that come out of nowhere! It helps to take a step back and remember that years (even decades) of poor food choices cannot be undone in a few weeks. I've got to keep working at this long-term (life-term?).