Jump to content

W30 is so great it's bumming me out.


kaybee

Recommended Posts

Weird, I know. I LOVE how I feel on the w30, my body feels like great, I have tons of energy, and my digestive system is not calling attention to itself in any way (no heartburn, gas, etc). I want to eat this way ALL the time, I want to feel this great 24/7. So, why not just go paleo then? Here's the thing: I'm not ready to give up pasta, bread, wine, cheese, cocktails, etc. The thought of doing so bums me out, yet I also don't want to go back to feeling crappy. My life pretty much revolves around food and booze (not excessive booze, mind you). I'm in the restaurant business, as are most of my friends. My husband and I take great pleasure in seeking out new spots for a cocktail or a fabulous meal. We travel to different cities to eat & drink as well. I have a conundrum! How can I reconcile the two? I suppose the more W30s I do, the easier it will be to lean this way. My husband is very supportive of W30, willing to eat in for the entire month so I'm not tempted, which is great. But I keep thinking about what will happen when this is over (I'm on day 12 of my second w30). I feel like I don't do well with moderation, apparently I'm more of a rules gal. Who knew? I know that if I went to a restaurant, I wouldn't order the grilled fish with veggies. I'd 100% be going for the pasta with the sausage and cheese. If I did order the healthier option, I'd feel pissy and deprived. My brain will not cooperate!

How have others reconciled the greatness of w30 with the off-plan foods they love without trashing your body?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

You can eat lots of tasty food in restaurants, but you probably need to move beyond Italian as your focus. But even then, you can eat some good food. I went to a Neapolitan restaurant Thursday night and ordered artichoke salad with tomato soup that was really good. You can even eat pasta occasionally, but if you eat it regularly, you will not feel as good as you do now.

 

It is hard to maintain a strict Whole30 in restaurants, but I find plenty of meat and veggies to eat almost everywhere I go (except maybe Italian places). 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Even in Italian places you can find a food piece of fish or meat. But I also think you need to wait until you get further before you worry about this too much. You may find that your tastes change after 30 days and you may feel more confident and secure in you ability to make it a choice to have something off the plan, not a compulsion! That's a lesson I'm learning. I can have a glass of wine or not -- it's a choice. I can choose to make a big deal of asking tons of questions about every ingredient of I can go with the flow.

Give yourself time and allow yourself to find how this will work for YOU going forward. That's my advice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am tagging along here too because I still mourn junk food. Many people keep saying "nothing tastes as good as healthy feels" but I can't wrap my head around that. I've cream will always taste good! I am almost done with 30 but a extending it because I feel a total binge in my future if I don't stay 100%with it at this point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was/am in the same boat as you. My husband and I love to eat out and travel. I felt a little depressed about it as well because I love wine, cocktails, pizza, hamburgers, etc. etc. I feel great when I eat clean. No matter how much I say I won't eat (insert bad food) because it hurts my stomach I find myself always making deals with myself. If I know we are going to go out to eat at a nice place and I want to splurge, I make a quick set of rules for myself. "Okay tonight you can have wine, but stay away from wheat and grains" When I get there I feel like I have more control but I am not SO limited I can still enjoy everything. Then sometimes you just completely screw it up and eat what ever you want (and suffer the consequences after). Whenever I do that I just make sure it's only every once in a while and I usually do a Whole7 or something after that to get things straightened back out. My friends make fun of me because I am in a constant cycle of Whole (some number) (I have committed 2 times this year to a Whole30 though)

I have found though after eating this way for almost a entire year that now when we go out to eat I automatically find the best grain free option on the menu (without even thinking about it) Because I know how bad I feel if I don't.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

But I also think you need to wait until you get further before you worry about this too much. You may find that your tastes change after 30 days and you may feel more confident and secure in you ability to make it a choice to have something off the plan, not a compulsion!.

Thanks for the input everyone! This is actually my second W30 (plus a random W14) and after the first I thought I would never go back to eating the way I used to. But I did, over time. So that's why I'm worried now. I mentioned some Italian food, but that was just an example. I was just trying to make the point that although I could try to order well in restaurants, I know I most often won't, despite understanding that I should. My hope is that the more W30s I do, the more my tastes will change...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmmm - I'm dealing with this myself.  I have mourned a lot of my old foods, and habits.  And for the most part I keep pretty clean.  There are days that I let things slide - these are days when I am generally time crunched, and I have nothing prepared.  (it's happening a little more than I care to admit these days - so it's time to tighten up)

 

Here is the deal with me - If it is homemade pasta - my mother-in-law put in a lot of time and effort into making it.  I will have a small piece of lasangna and suffer the consequences.  If my father-in-law makes pizza, I will eat it, and enjoy it.  Store bought stuff =not special.  I know not everyone has italian in-laws, so set your level of acceptance here.  Outside - for pizza - has to be wood burning oven only, for pasta - I just don't.  It's just not *that* special to me anymore.  To be honest I don't even like  the mouth feel of pasta anymore.

 

I used to be an avid baker - now I still do, and generally it's a paleo treat of some sort usually involving fruit or good quality dark chocolate, and minimal amount of sugar (think SWYPO).  If someone made the effort to make and bake it I generally will consider it.  I don't aways eat it, but it will be considered.  If it's store bought - no way.

 

Dairy - for the most part (with the exception of the items stated above) is just plain out.  Dairy has been the reason for so many of my health woes.  So it just isn't plain worth it most of the time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am just curious, what were you wanting to achieve by doing the Whole30 if you really don't want to give up those foods, especially if you know they make you feel crappy? Do you plan to do a reintroduction of anything? Dairy, gluten? What if one of those foods really caused you ill symptoms? Would you give it up then?

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I won't be, hopefully, introducing certain things back into my diet (hello, wine & good quality cheese). I love eating out at great restaurants. Can you change your focus to restaurants that focus on local sustainable foods? It could be a fun thing for you and your husband to try and find new restaurants like that and they tend to cook alot of meals that are Whole30 replicas (meats, root veggies etc..) Of course it depends on where you live. In my city there are a lot of those restaurants cropping up and they usually are great about being gluten and dairy free if need be!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm doing this W30 because I really let my eating go over the summer, and I felt like crap. The final straw was one last beach trip where I ate a large bag of smart food and a pound of fudge over the course of two days. (I don't normally eat junk food). Single-handedly. Not to mention all the drinking...I want to feel good again, but the better I feel the more I worry about how to have my cake and eat it too, so to speak. Luckily, I live in an area where restaurants serving locally-grown food and responsibly raised meats are plentiful. In fact my husband and I own one. I also know that in most high quality restaurant food there is tons of butter and dairy. That's why it tastes so good! We're eating high quality food, no chains or fast food, but it doesn't really matter. I'm particularly frustrated at this moment because my husband wants to go out, but I'm having a hard time finding a place that I can eat at without re-writing the entire menu. All I see when I look at menus is NO, NO, NO... It's easy enough to cook at home. But in restaurants? Having one restriction is a breeze -- no dairy? Sure! But no dairy, soy, sugar, legumes, grains, or alcohol? I just don't want to be that person. So yes, what am I hoping to achieve? That's a very good question. One that I'm asking myself at this very moment. What indeed? Why should I bother with this? Maybe I should try to live paleo 80% of the time. Would that work? Who knows. All I know is that after my first I thought it would be easy to clean up my diet, but I slowly went back to my old ways. And right now I really do just want to quit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's sure not easy. I've been eating this way all year, with probably an average of 95%+ compliance, but it's a frequent struggle. My tastes never changed. Junk food still tastes good. Diet soda still tastes good. I still want pizza and hamburgers and fries and Cheetos!! I'm doing my best to limit my sugar or wheat off-roading to once every 30-60 days, but then when I do decide to indulge I go way overboard (because you know, I'm not having it again for 30-60 days!). Honestly I don't notice the crap making me feel too bad, probably because I eat it so infrequently, but every single time I eat that stuff I crave more of the same for exactly 2.5 weeks. Every time. So when I talk myself into a treat every 30 days, that's only 1.5 weeks out of the month where I don't constantly have to talk myself out of eating junk. It's so hard. I went on a date last week, and it took us 30 min to find a restaurant I was comfortable with. I ended up with a tasteless sirloin and about 1/4 the amount of vegetables I usually eat (and I asked for a double order instead of rice!). I got to eat that while I drooled over the smell of my date's fish and chips. Some days I throw major tantrums in my head over my decision to eat this way. :ph34r:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you, JJB. Ideally, I'm heading towards that place where you are: I'd like to eat this way most of the time but still be able to eat what I want sometimes. Thinking about life with no "x", whatever that is doesn't work for me (actually I can do without x just fine, it's food and booze that get me. ;) ) 30 days I can do, and intend to, because I definitely need a re-set. But when I get cranky and frustrated I start to think "what's the point if this isn't going to be your life?". I know that I need to make better choices more often, and hopefully the more W30s I do the easier it will become. After completing the first there are already some things that no longer tempt me, but I have a long way to go. The other thread right now about going off and on the W30 -- I can see myself doing that. Hopefully.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I struggled with the food grief too. I would say for now, don't worry that far in advance and just stick to the plan.  Tell yourself you can have it when the 30 days is up and then you can decide.  Otherwise don't beat yourself up now for something that won't happen for a few weeks!  It's not the Whole365. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Excellent point, alissafoo. Yesterday was the first bad day I've had this time around. It was very much a "what's the point?" kind of day. Feeling a little better today. It's helpful to know I'm not alone in feeling this way, and I re-read the W30 timeline and it seems I'm pretty much in line with that, too, emotionally. I know it will pass...my husband (very supportive!) keeps reminding me how great I felt last time, and that over time I can integrate W30/paleo principles more and more, that it won't happen overnight. I'm glad at least one of us is sane right now!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

haha well, I'm definitely in the same boat- I love food! It's sad to think of not loving it anymore. If I had to say good-bye to every food I loved to do this, I never would have, so I just said "see ya later!" and then you can see how much you want it when the time comes.  It's defininitely a struggle, but you are here because you want to change and so I know you can do it! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with alissafoo, don't worry yet about it. You may feel differently about those foods later in your whole30 or even down the road. I know that happened to me with wine and I NEVER thought it would.  If someone had told me even back in July that I would give up wine I would have laughed in their face (and also started panicking)!  But it is what happened, kind of naturally. That may happen for you or it may not or it may not right now. All those possibilities are just fine. It is a process...Be well!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I also struggle because I still do not feel GREAT. I finished 30 days yesterday and am going to add a few more, but so far the "feel better than food tastes" is not me at all. I am day dreaming about apple cider doughnuts because we are going to the pumpkin farm in Sunday, so I guess I'll "introduce" gluten then! We were at a wedding, and I sat with food served to me that I couldn't eat. Then watched the wait staff take away that food untouched. Getting a special order of dry grilled steak and steamed veggies, it worked out but the whole time I thought this is not how I want every special event to look like. My husband isn't sll that supportive so for me, it's very isolating too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, I know how you're feeling. I loved my W30, but it was only possible for me to have done while the husband was away from home. So now that he's back, I don't think I'll be able to do another W30 for a LONG time at a minimum. My W30 taught me that I'm gluten intolerant (feels like eating razorblades in my stomach). I mourned hardcore over all the things I couldn't have. Then I moved back to the US (from Europe) and realized that it isn't that hard here.

 

I pretty regularly order a burger without a bun for meals out. It's easy to do, and they are very obliging. Food information is posted at restaurants - easy to find out if something is compliant enough for me to eat. Ingredients lists on everything at the supermarket. A lot of restaurants have gluten free menus now that aren't horribly boring. Heck, I have two separate places in my little podunk-ville area I'm living now that have a gluten free pizza crust option. Pizza dates with hubby, maybe with a hard cider or glass of wine? Absolutely! If we have to hit somewhere while travelling, it's easy to go to, say, a Chipotle or Moe's or Qdoba and order burrito bowls instead of burritos. The point being - there's a lot to eat other than boring grilled fish and steamed veggies that isn't compliant but, so long as you can do dairy (and nightshades like potatoes), are easy to do while out. 

 

No, you won't be eating the cheesy sausage pasta dish, but you might not even like it anymore. I can't do the non-MSG sausage I used to do now because the spices are just...wrong. WAY too salty for my taste. So you might try things and realize they aren't that great. Then again, I do still have my rice pasta boxed mac and cheese occasionally. THAT is worth it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think I'm starting to realize that I'm mad that I can't have it all. I see people carelessly eating whatever and probably never feel like shit after! Maybe I'm more upset with this crazy body of mine than I am actually craving foods. I think I crave the "carefree" eating/lifestyle more. Can you say therapy!! Lol!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think I'm starting to realize that I'm mad that I can't have it all. I see people carelessly eating whatever and probably never feel like shit after! Maybe I'm more upset with this crazy body of mine than I am actually craving foods. I think I crave the "carefree" eating/lifestyle more. Can you say therapy!! Lol!

 

This - This!! Mom2A&M this hits the nail right on the head.  I've had days of feeling like this, throwing tantrums in my head. I have to eat Whole 30 + nightshade free most of the time in order for me not to have a 3 day menstral migraine.  You know what - some days it just sucks, especially when you see someone eating much loved old foods in front of you, then asking you if you miss eating it.  And can't you just have it just this once?

 

I have come to the conclusion about grains - I miss the convenience of them, and the ease of preperation.  But that is all I miss.  I don't miss what they do to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think I'm starting to realize that I'm mad that I can't have it all. I see people carelessly eating whatever and probably never feel like shit after! Maybe I'm more upset with this crazy body of mine than I am actually craving foods. I think I crave the "carefree" eating/lifestyle more. Can you say therapy!! Lol!

 

If a pity party launches I say to myself: "You have no idea what's going on with these people. You have no idea if they suffer or not/binge or not/beat themselves out/starve/obsessively counting calories. Appearance has nothing to do with actual health markers". It's about your well being, not theirs. There is no magic formula, just finding your personal balance. I just feel that there are so many ways to find "pleasure response" food gives us in other areas. Food just happens to be the most convenient but least satisfying in a long run. Sorry, just being honest. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure how old you are or how bad your issues were, but for many of us have found that eliminating the grains and dairy and whatever, have cured us of some pretty bad issues. I will never go back. And thinking of the long term damaged I have done to my body (even when I thought I was eating healthy!) really bothers me. But there's no way to go but forward.

 

My husband and I went out to dinner a few weeks ago. It was an Italian/Greek place. We avoided pasta but even the 'compliant' food we had was so rich, we both felt awful the next day. So we've decided no more of that. It's just not worth it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I totally get where you are coming from. Even though, in general, my tastes for food has changed (I can actually say I don't like pasta and it is a rare pizza that I would consider worth indulging) still think EXACTLY what Mom2A&M said above: "why can everyone else eat all this ____food and have no problems." But the reality is that I have no idea how they feel, what their health is like and frankly that is not my concern. My concern is how I feel and what my health is like.

Everyone has given great suggestions and advice. I think using the Whole30 as a tool for making better choices is a good way to look at it rather than an all or nothing thing. If you feel you have gotten too far off track after you complete this or any Whole30, you can always come back. The Whole30 will always be here to help you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Here is the deal with me - If it is homemade pasta - my mother-in-law put in a lot of time and effort into making it.  I will have a small piece of lasangna and suffer the consequences.  If my father-in-law makes pizza, I will eat it, and enjoy it.  Store bought stuff =not special. 

 

This is so true ^^^

 

The last time I looked I was the only one eating this way in a 50 mile radius...besides my husband. We live in rural Alabama where bad food is around every corner. Social gatherings, parties, friends houses...HECK my parents house. If my mom makes a big pot of gumbo, or fried chicken and I am over there I am sure going to have some. I don't want to invalidate her with my Whole30, eat primal diatribe. (I've tried to convince them...many times...it just will never happen) 

 

I think the thing that is MOST frustrating to me is this...Before eating paleo, primal, Whole30...whatever you want to call it, I NEVER reacted this way to food. I was not one of the ones who did the Whole30 because of an autoimmune problem. Let's face it...I wanted to lose weight after I had my son, and it worked great for that! But now, if I eat anything "strange" it takes days, DAYS for me to get back to normal. (which is why I am in a constant cycle of Whole(some#) I feel like I have ruined my self (if you can ruin yourself in a good way) Traveling is hard...not gonna lie. We went to Napa earlier this year and I indulged (hello Bouchon!) but geez I was in pain the whole time...which sucked. I want to do the 80% 20% but the 20% that I do eat makes me feel so bad it's almost not worth it. THAT is what is the worst part of the Whole30 is to me...finding out that I may never be able to enjoy those things again (unless I want serious stomach issues)

 

Don't get me wrong...I love eating this way...flat out love it! I love the way I feel, my workouts are better, my sleep is better, my life feels even...if that makes sense. But I am afraid if you have pain, bloating, stomach issues while you are enjoying your 20% you may be like me. It would probably be helpful to actually do a reintroduction phase at your next whole 30. It helped me figure out that I cannot have gluten, corn, or legumes under any circumstances. But I am totally okay with dairy, white rice, white potatoes and moderate amounts of alcohol (except for beer). That is not limiting yourself as much as you would be if you were on the Whole 30 all the time, and I have eaten out many times following these rules and have always been able to find something. You may have to get creative...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...