Why are YOU on a DIET!?!?

[Cassie C]

Ugh.

 

I'm afraid for the next person who asks because I might explode.

 

I'll also provide a bit of background - as a teenager I was SCRAWNY.  I ate as much as I wanted all of the time and I still had barely any body fat.  It was at the point where my mother (who was my school nurse, lol) would field questions about anorexia.  The Dr. checked my thyroid and hormones, I was healthy, and that was that.  Buzz off, people.

 

In college (and once I went on the pill) I filled out to a less "scrawny" size, but still quite petite.  At 5'1" I averaged about 110 pounds.

 

I'm now around 121 (or at least I was pre-Whole30 and breaking up with the scale) so I feel like I am allowed to lose a small amount of weight.  Just because I'm short and small doesn't mean that my body composition is what it should be.  I know things are bulging out and tight in places that they didn't used to be.  People can't grasp this.

 

My primary reason for doing this, however, is to address my anxiety and fatigue and get off my anxiety medication (I'm on a low dose to begin with so I'm hopeful.)  

 

I get so frustrated coming up against the you-don't-need-to-diet arguments every day (and it's only day 5).

 

I've always been puzzled by the fact that people will stick their noses in your business and tell you what to eat and how to eat and how you look when you're on the smaller side, yet society can generally accept that it's rude to comment to someone that they are overweight or tell them how to eat.  It hurts my feelings just as much!

 

Just had to vent.

[GoJo09]

"I am not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to make my body healthier." If that happens to slim you down a little then that's a side-effect, not the main goal - if you believe it, they'll shut up .

[Tina R]

Check out the forum "The Crazy Things People Say" if nothing else it will make you laugh. I think one of the responses on this forum when someone was asking why they were on this crazy diet was to say "I am having a bad reaction to some foods so I am trying to eliminate them to see which ones they are" or I like Melissa J's response from The Clothes Make The Girl blog. "mind your own F--ing business!" Good Luck!

[LisaLulu]

I got the same response and I told them I was having horrible stomach pains and needed to do an elimination diet to weed out whatever I was intolerant of. Everyone seems to accept that because I think digestive problems are the norm these days. 

 

Now that I'm done mine I realize my digestion was mainly dependent on the hormones in my menstrual cycle, not food! But the food was causing the exhaustion/aching body that I thought was just from being tired and having young kids so now I just say blah blah food gives me joint paint. 

 

Overweight people who are making bad choices can sometimes be angry if thin people are trying to eat well. That's why I don't make it about weight loss (which mine wasn't in the first place, but I lost 7 pounds anyway!)

[Carlaccini]

Yes don't make this about a diet to lose weight.  Make it about feeling better - usually people are much more receptive for it.  If you are eating a certain way to lose weight people feel judged, and therefore will judge you.

 

I gte frustrated with people thinking I eat this way to lose weight - yes I did lose weight, (which I am happy about - don't get me wrong) and yes I probably could lose some more, but it isn't why I did the whole 30.  I eat this way so I CAN manage horrible menstral migraines and hormone health, as well as reduce AI flares.  But all people see or hear is "weight loss" so they think it's about that - this includes people very close to me.

[Physibeth]

I go out of my way to avoid using the word "diet" at all because most people don't hear it/use it the way I would mean it. (you keep using that word...I do not think it means what you think it means) I mean diet as in the composition of what makes up my daily food intake. But 95% of the population hear diet and think calorie restriction. *sigh*

 

I like the response "I'm not on a diet, I'm finding a way of eating that supports good health, energy, recovery, and fuel for my body."

[pjena]

Bethany - Have fun storming the castle!

[jennor]

I never, ever use the D-word either. Especially if you are thin people will feel provoked/worried/insulted if they think you are trying to lose weight, and the D-word immediately makes people think weightloss, restriction and suffering. I just say Food. As in "There are certain foods that don't agree with me and I avoid them."

[fitisthenublack]

I'm 5'7" and 117 lbs and get that all day long. So frustrating. The short answer- I'm eating this way because it MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. End of discussion.

[AllyB]

I blame it on my husband....I tell people I'm eating this way to support his journey to improve his autoimmune issues.  It started that way when he asked me to do a whole30 with him.  But I keep eating this way (mostly) because I feel SO much better.  He still eats this way as well and he hasn't had an embrel shot since before christmas.  We are thrilled!

[Sheena812]

I just tell people that it is a food sensitivity elimination diet and they all nod as if that makes complete sense and stop asking me about it.

[kirdyq]

I'm in the same boat.  I am built quite a bit different than some family members, so I always feel like I have to watch what I say.

 

My sister just had gastric sleeve surgery, and I felt like I could not voice my opinion at all.  I just smiled and nodded and said I supported her decision, b/c no matter what I would have said it would have been wrong.  In my mind, however, I know that she could have lost the weight on her own.  Yes, it would have been harder and probably a little bit longer of a journey.  But she did it before through Cross Fit and eating healthy. 

 

I'm sure my mom is going to think I'm nuts for doing a Whole30.  But I am doing it for health reasons, not weight issues.

[MeadowLily]

I think family members are supportive if you're not doing this for an extreme diet.  There's no reason for them to think you're nuts because the program isn't nuts. 

 

If you follow the book and read the forums, there's nothing extreme about it.   Now it can be kicked up to whackiness if you avoid fruits, vegetables of every kind and the good fats.   If you do it right, the only nutty thing about it is the nuts that you can have.

 

I know there are secret dieters who are keto-ing all the way.  I've been here long enough that I can root them out like rooting truffles out of the ground.  If you're being true to the Whole 30, your results will not be dramatic or anything alarming.  It will all be great.   

[jviher]

I got this a lot in the beginning, and it had me stressed about going to work or into any social situation. I made a point to announce it via social media the night before I started, at which point I laid out what I couldn't have and also explicitly asked that people be encouraging! I think this helped a ton, because coworkers and friends knew prior to meal time, or to the delivery of pastries to the office kitchen, that I wasn't going to partake... rather than someone trying to stick a plate of cake in my hands and THEN having to explain, you know? I will say, I live across the country from most of my family, so I've been somewhat spared in terms of those sticky situations during my Whole30.

 

Sharing your story with others allows them to be supportive! Hearing stuff like, "No - don't even look over here!" while a coworker hides the plate of cookies a rep brought in for us, or another one looking at my plate and saying "So, what's for lunch today? You're doing really good!" has been an unexpected benefit from this process.

 

Overall, I know I'm doing my body and mind a great kindness, and that has been enough for me to cope with the fact that a good majority of people won't get it. Like Dr. Seuss says, "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind." I'm learning to discern between them!

[Maggiedoll]

"Of course I'm on a diet. Living people do require food, I can't survive on just air.." (if you want to be snarky. And risk the snark flying right over their head..)

[kirkor]

I'm not a huge fan of the term "WOE" (Way of Eating) but I do like the idea of moving away from the term diet. Regardless of what it actually means or was meant to mean, it's beyond saving at this point and is just too loaded a word.

Whenever I get the "you don't need to go on a diet" comment, I like to say it's *because* I eat like this that you think I don't need to go on a diet.

(but then they see me try to bankrupt a buffet and wonder about my hypocrisy )

[Meganterese]

I had a similar discussion with my husband, I am 5'3 and started whole30 at 124 pounds (on day 5 now) and he ( and my mother, and in-laws) all say I don't need to lose weight. I know that I don't, but thre is a certain point at which you know you feel your best. Looks aren't everything, but when my husband and I got married I was about 5 pounds lighter. As a result now, my clothes still fit, but are a little tighter and less comfortable than I would care for them to be.

Being 5'3, I tried to explain to my husband that 5 pounds on my frame can make a large difference in the way my clothes fit and hot you see yourself. It is seen much easier than someone whose weighs 200 lbs. I am a very healthy eater in general, so I think he doesn't understand why I would elimatie things that I have e will power to control overeating and such.

I have a sugar dragon who likes to eat candy after dinner, and I would like that to go away. I get eczema on my face (right in between my eyebrows) and I would like to see if there is something that causes it. I would love to drop the 5 pounds I have gained the past few years, and return to my "happy weight." If that doesn't happen, oh well. I'm hoping to gain energy and happiness

[Britishgal]

Can you reframe it away from your weight and towards all the other things you are hoping for (better sleep, string nails, glossier hair etc)? Maybe they'll understand it then?

[MeadowLily]

Here it is.   One year later since that post up above.      

 

Forget the 5 lbs and work on trading UP for lean muscle mass.  Do a Whole 30 without the scale.  Do not measure, count calories, macros, micros, inches, steps, or miles.

 

A 200 lb person. If you're 6'4" or 6'5"....that can be on the ultra lean side.  If you're 200 lbs and 5'3"....those 75 lbs over the load limit show, yes, they do.   5 lbs...not so much.   

 

Do the Whole 30 without attachment to the 5 lbs on the scale.   

 

A Whole 30 is not a diet.   This is completely understood and appreciated.   Dieters want to drop it like it's hot in 30 days.   If they haven't really grasped the Whole 30 concept...this is not a diet - they'll go at it like it's a diet.   Around the 3 month mark, those folks may have regained every single pound back.   Then, it's time for more dieting.  

 

No one wants that.  Weight stability.  That's where the rubber really meets the road.  Weight stability separates the dieter from those who've had a Head Reset.   A Head Reset comes along with the Food Reset.

There are Mods and Alumni who have weight stability here.

 

Constant dieting to lose another 5 or 10 is no longer in their wheelhouse.   Switching back and forth between dieting and weight instability indefinitely  takes too much of a toll on the psyche.   Years of dieting end badly.  

 

Diet is a four letter word and a compromise to pander to timely trends.  Branded diets come and go.  

 

So here it is a year later.  I've not rebounded with a single pound.  I have weight stability.  As the months go by,  I continue to tool along at a very slow pace.   I no longer have to slap myself in the face.  My life is not precariously balanced like a table with a book of matches shoved under one leg to stop the table from falling over or wobbling.  

 

We have the right and ability to create any positive food management plan we want after a Whole 30 days. I've created my management/maintenance plan from the roots and traditions of the Whole 30.  There is no formula on the forum or in the books to help you maintain weight releasing after a Whole 30. One size does not fit all.

 

Everyone who wants weight stability after your Whole 30 will have to draw from their Reintroduction Phase to determine what your maintenance plan will be.  My biggest concern after my first Whole 30...was "what do I do now?"  So I followed the Slow Roll and bought myself some time until I figured it out. 

 

After a year, I am thoroughly convinced that insulin primes the fat pump.   Sugar + Grains = Fat Gain.   Those items do not put on lean muscle mass.    So going forward, cutting all processed sugars becomes the equation of muscle gain...the BIG WIN or fat loss depending on my consumption of proteins, good dietary fats, vegetables/fruits and strength training.   

 

When you continue on with your good habits...you do not rebound with a single pound.

 

A refined carbohydrate high will not make up for feeling so low.   Do the good work without attachment to the outcome.  Fall in love with the process and not just a weight goal. 

[jitenmazee]

Its not always to be on diet for losing fat. I am doing this for making me fit with some excersies and workouts.