Did you find yourself sweeter and kinder after Whole30 reintro?

[MeadowLily]

Food Reset + Body Reset + Head Reset +  Heart Reset = Spirit Reset

 

Hutlifr,  you're at the  Heart Reset.  I am, too.  We're going through different experiences but it's still about the places in the heart.  When we're alone we have time to think everything through.  When I fall into overthinking everything,  I have to step out of that. 

 

While I've been working on the railroad, I bounce my thoughts off the mountaintops.  I'm so glad to get the reverb back from the Alps.  I know you're out there somewhere.

 

Family and loved ones are everything in the end.  Alot of relatives are traveling through here for the 4th of July.  They all head over to the folkaronies for a visit.   It's very nice but kind of overwhelming, they do get worn out. Paw and Maw are the elders now.  The grandparents are all gone.  They're valued.  I'm the fortunate one as  I've tried to absorb as much as I can.   

 

When you have one foot in this world and one foot on the other side,  the insights cannot be forgotten. You've experienced that, Hutlifr.  Everything that comes out of their mouth is meaningful for the days and years ahead. 

[MeadowLily]

How do you know when you're stuck?   When fear ruins everything. 

 

How do you know when it's time to sit down with someone and talk with them Face-to-Face? When fear ruins everything. 

 

When you look back over your life, can you count on one hand the times in your life when you've had food and weight stability.  

 

Can you count on one hand the number of times you've reached your optimum setpoint only to start eating it back the very next day?  That's fear ruining everything for you.

 

Have you made the same mistakes at least 5 or 6 times just to be sure.  That's fear ruining everything for you. 

 

Have you reached the pinnacle of ready?  Are you through with the gerbil wheel existence and making huge rationalizations about everything.  It's probably time to sit down with someone.  I have Dr. Face-to-Face,  who threw me some bones I could chew on.   

 

I have Urge Surfing techniques and many other things I do.    Dr. Face-to-Face is the Food Whisperer. Cesar trains humans.  Dog psychology works on people.  I am a hound dog yakkin' on a bone.  I learn things from Cesar the dog's behaviorist. 

 

Can you count on one hand the number of times you've been able to stick the landing.  Do you immediately eat it back and not really understand why.  It's fear.  You may need Face-to-Face time to get beyond that fear.  

 

Food Addiction = Sux.   Fear,  ditto.    When your shut-off value is broken, it's going to take longer than 30 days to fix your leaky pipes. 

 

I've made the same mistakes at least 5 or 6 times just to be sure.  I can't do that again because  I don't know if I would have the gumption to start all over again.  I don't want to.  

[MeadowLily]

The bottomline.  This is the first time I've had food and weight stability in the last decade. 

 

You know how Cesar snaps dogs out of a fearful state with shhhzzzzz and he snaps his fingers.  That's what Dr. Face-to-Face did for me.   I was throwing everything up against the wall to see what would stick and nothing did.   Family and friends couldn't help me. 

 

Fear kept me from staying at my optimum setpoint.  I would start eating it back almost a day later.  I did that at least 5 or 6 times.   I would spend months getting there only to fall off that mountaintop. Houston,  I had a problem that dieting could not fix.   Binge and thrill eating made a mess out of everything for me.

 

If you've suffered the slings of bullies, there was secret eating in your life or any number of other things.....they have to be dealt with. Here's the biggie - it could be some form of verbal or physical abuse, too.  An unelegant elephant waltzing around in the living room.   Look at whatever messed with you squarely in the face so you can move into your future.  

 

Talking to a counselor can make all of the difference in the world when you're stuck. 

[MeadowLily]

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something.

 

Steve Jobs

[MeadowLily]

Food eating contests really turn my stomach.  Watching them makes me want to step out back and do all of the things that you can imagine.  They are not a sport or athletic.  They remind me of ancient Rome. There's really nothing new under the sun.

 

Why telecast it.  I don't want to watch someone shove pies, Big Kahuna burgers or dogs into their mouth as fast as they can go.   Don't go there.  Don't do it.   

 

A few years ago someone passed on after a water chugging contest.  Don't chug water as fast as you can go by the gallon.  

 

All of it grosses me out and for the life of me,  why would you do this to yourself.  It's a reflection of too much excess.  Does anyone enjoy watching it.   Just go to one of my family reunions and you'll see more of the same.  But there's also secret eating under the bleachers and in the closet.  Shoving food and emotions down.   

 

Strangely enough,  when the birds of a feather fly together...they encourage one another and pretend it's really fun.  Some will actually diet for an entire year and then shove as much food down at the family reunion pretending they eat that way all of the time.  It is ridiculous and imaginary and nutty as a fruitcake.

 

No wonder my relationship with food was so messed up.  It's genetic and environmental and you can catch it like the flu.  It does rub off on you.  Family reunions can end up like ancient Rome and stepping around back.  Bellying up to the foodbar buffet tables and shoveling it all in just to impress each other is so not worth it.  

 

When in Rome do as the Romans do but not what they used to do...in ancient times. 

[MeadowLily]

Snow in the forecast for Wed/Thursday.  I've seen fire and rain and snow on the 4th of July. Summer is half over, Get UP and Get Going.  Someone fell into the irrigation ditch yesterday and drown. I will not be doing anymore irrigating when it's dark thirty out there.  I don't give a rat's @$$ if the that grass is turning brown.  Let the snow fix everything.  My irrigation boots are off when the sun goes down.  That is all.   

 

I would miss blathering and foaming at the mouth about everything  and my folkaronies would miss me. They like me.  They really like me.     (Sally Fields impression). 

 

Wednesday

Chance of precipitation is 40%. New snow accumulation of less than a half inch possible.

Thursday

Isolated snow showers before 7am. 

[MeadowLily]

Remember YOU is.  You are.  No one can take your place. Without you,  there's a 1000 piece puzzle missing one piece and we can't see the beauty of the landscape without YOU.  

 

[MeadowLily]

There is no such thing as the Finish Line with your overall health and well being.  If you are a binge or thrill eater,  you stay the course with recovery.

 

It's taken 2 years to arrive at an optimum setpoint.  I didn't stop and restart.  I kept going. Water seeks its own level and your body will, too.  

 

Your body doesn't magically allow you to return to the former thrill eating days without consequences.  The consequences will be 100% exactly the same.

 

Some may only need 30 days/Food Reset intact and all information gathered for food sensitivities. Other health conditions will take longer. 

 

Choices and consequences.  Moving into the future,  the rewards for returning to binge eating are zero. 

I can't think of one single positive consequence for binge eating.  Another binge is not a cure for a food addiction. 

 

I will continue thinking through but as the days go on it does get easier.   The cravings are almost non-existent for candy, cakes, pies, cookies and so on.   I don't care about those.

 

Eating fruit in a reasonable manner  works for me because  I don't have an issue with fruit or nuts.  I avoided fruit for years because of constant dieting.   It makes no sense to me to avoid fruit now but return to highly refined corn syrup/sugar foods in small or large amounts.

 

There's no way I'm going to eat fruit all day long in large amounts.  Fruit with fiber is a plant.  It's just enough of additional plant food that I use to complete a meal.   It works for me and it's made all of the difference in the world,  mentally.  I'm not doing without.

 

Cake doesn't light my tubes up.  High fructose corn syrup gummy bears and licorice are so not worth it. Gummy Bear Food rewards are not rewarding.   Not to this binge eater who's spent years breaking free and Shawshanking it.   

 

I haven't had chocolate in 2 years and I really don't care about that either.  I can't work up cravings for chocolate.  It's just not there.  

 

I can count on one hand the number of times I've had food and weight stability.  To start eating it all back the very next day as many food addicts do when they reach their optimum setpoint would make for a very, very rough recovery.  

[MeadowLily]

I do have a Pain List that I review every day as part of my recovery.   It's working.

 

I  "Experience the Change" and not just go through the motions on autopilot.  Numbed out.   I face the pain.  I'm no longer shoving all of my emotions down with food so facing the pain is an absolute requirement. 

 

Our daily life is fascinating even during the dullest of moments.  Especially when you're no longer numbing your life out with food rewards that bring imaginary comfort. 

 

We all have basic needs to find comfort without food.   

 

Certainty

Variety

Significance

Connection

Growth

Contribution

 

Every day as part of my recovery,  I ask myself....What has to happen in order for this to happen?

 

When my answers make me take ACTION....I know I'm in the Zone.  It's taken 2 years to get here and I'm still working on the railroad.  

 

Everything I've learned here fits in like that missing puzzle piece with my recovery.  Whole 30 and food addiction recovery have created happiness,  joy, well-being and inner peace.

 

What has to happen in order for this to happen?   For you and me....

 

You can't coast on your laurels.   Throw all of your dieting experience and food tracking out the window. Your daily life is fascinating.   You are highly favored and worthy to be loved.

 

Over your lifetime, you have been given many favors that have been granted.  Write those down.  

 

You can see.

Hear

Touch

Taste

Feel

Laugh

Love

 

It's all fun really.  Being here is fun.  While tooling along the right people, places, circumstances and other opportunities will come your way.  

 

Positive Birds of a Feather Fly Together.  Together is my favorite place to be.  With you and me. 

[MeadowLily]

The WD30 el groupin was the best group in the world.  I was meant to meet them and I remember them well.  Each and every one.  I think about them and I know they were in it to WIN it.   They're long gone now and heck-a-toot,  I do miss visiting and laughing with them. 

 

They only needed 30 days and I needed 2 years or more.   

 

Being alone has made me face my pain.  It's not easy but it is an absolute requirement for recovery.  

 

Family members and friends are not left in suspense with what we're having for dinner but everyone here gets it.

 

Guess what.  We start out with some very rough edges but like sandpaper over time, we rub those rough edges off one another and become Smooth Operators. 

 

 

 

We're all in this together. 

[MeadowLily]

The internet is NOT going away.  It can used as a positive force for good or you can turn it into a big pile of unhappy horsesheet.       The choice is ours.  All ours. 

 

I choose by an act of my will to use it as a force for good.  The connections we meet here are meaningful. It's all good and fun, really.   

 

Mr. Dee tells it like it is and I lurve that.  I've learned and absorbed so much from his guidance. I don't want to miss any of them.   Everyone.   Get back in flying formation.

We're going to make it to the Promised Land.   The land of nuts and berries where everything is fruitcake nutty and fun. 

 

Bye Felicias.   

[MeadowLily]

The Duck stops here. 

[MeadowLily]

I'm irrigating the fields.  Inbetween irrigating,  weed whacking and tooling along, I think.

 

What kind of hungry are you.  

 

Emotional

Physical

Habitual

Traditional

Hormonal

Nutritional

 

You can add your own individual hunger.  Hunger by association and on it goes.  It can change day by day.

 

Do you take one bite of a dessert and put the rest away for several days in a row or do you eat your portion.  Do you eat everyone else's, too.  We're all different.

 

As a thrill eater,  I would eat mine and everyone else's.  I've never suffered with anorexia but I have been a binge eater for well over a decade.  I needed to eat all the things and get them out of the way.  I also prevented the next person from worrying about eating all the things because I took care of it for them.   

 

If it was embarr-assing,  I would have to run out and buy more or make more.  Double Trouble.  Then,  I would have to eat a portion out of the second batch or box just to make it look right.   I learned these techniques from my family and relatives.  Ayup. 

 

I ate all the things.  All of the time. 

 

Taking a bite and walking away,  leaving the rest sitting on the table.  I can do that.  

Eating a reasonable portion.   I can do that.

Not caring about any dessert whatsoever.   I can do that, too.

Choosing by an act of my will not to reward myself with highly refined and sugar foods.   I can do that.

 

Remembering the pain of constantly rewarding myself with food.  I remember.

 

I remember it was like walking around with at least 4 bowling balls hanging off my body.  My knees and feet,  joints ached.  All I wanted to do was lay down and go to sleep.   After a food explosion full on food bender,  sleeping it off like a grizzly bear and hibernating was an escape.   

 

There was nothing comforting about it.  I felt miserable all of the time and I wanted to hide.  I did that.

I would run from people everywhere.  Binge eating really made a mess out of everything.  It was painful all the way around.  There were no rewards.  I can't think of a single one.  Not one.

 

I face the pain and I remember the pain.  I have to because it's more powerful than the food rewards. I can do whatever I want to but I'm not going to eat it all back.   That pain is too great.  Major health problems were knocking at more door.   I have decided that I really want to live.

 

I gave myself permission to stop dieting.  I even gave myself permission to keep my food addiction and binge eating disorder.   Then a funny thing happened on the way to the forum.  It no longer wanted to stay.  It UP and walked out the door. 

 

I kissed it Good-bye.   Bye Felicia.  

[MeadowLily]

When facing the mountain of food addiction...

 

You can ignore it and pretend it's not there.

You can turn around and go back the way you came.

You can stay on the mountain and live there.

You can climb it and cross to other side.

 

It's human nature to head for the mountains to fix the mountains of the mind.  I'm a mountainbilly. I've lived in the rugged mountains all of the days of my life.   Those mountains weren't responding to my problems.  People desire and discover a powerful solace in the mountains. 

 

I needed a powerful connection with another human outside of my circle and environment.  I needed reverb.

 

We've experienced many events with inexperienced mountain climbers/backcountry travelers over the years. Some were at the top of their game.  The pros.

 

“Climb if you will, but remember that courage and strength are nought without prudence, and that a momentary negligence may destroy the happiness of a lifetime. Do nothing in haste; look well to each step."

 

Scrambles Amongst the Alps, Edward Whymper

 

Paw is a wise man. We've climbed mountains, forded streams and trudged in chest level snow to catch a fish. From the beginning to the end,  he was always thinking things through for our safe return. We cringe now thinking about grizzly bear encounters in the early spring.  Nothing makes me shudder more.  

 

Bear was fishing yesterday where a person was chomped on.  He's going back out there today.  I say my prayers.  

 

The mountains of the mind aren't always fixed by mountain solace.  I had to sit down with someone who could help snap me out of complacency and fear.    Family and friends couldn't do that.   I had to ask for HELP.

[MeadowLily]

The thrill eater me would be making huge rationalizations why I need to make a food run with all that's going on around me.   The recovering me says ahhhh hail nooooo.   I'm not going out like that.  

 

Thrill eating has lost that thrill and that lovin' feeling.  'Cause it's gone, gone, gone and I can go on.  

 

I don't need to climb the mountain of food addiction to know that it's high.  I've already been there at least 5 or 6 six times....just to be sure. 

[MeadowLily]

I told the WD30 about my grizzly bear encounter as a young child.   She even had a name.  Geraldine. She always had 2 or 3 cubs with her.   

 

Maw fixed fried chicken for the community summer picnic.  She left it on the counter cooling and ran next door.  Geraldine headed for our house and was coming through the screen door for the chicken.  I ran to the back bedroom and pulled all of the trunks and suitcases out from underneath the bed.  

 

I crawled under the bed and pulled them back in behind me.  I was hiding and I can still remember the feel of ice cold linoleum on my face and body.  I didn't make a sound but I could hear my loud breathing.

 

The 'community' and pros came.  They were banging on garbage can lids until the trap arrived.   They still haul the habitual grizzlies off but they can travel back in the blink of an eye.  She was always making her way back home with the cubs.   She would wander through the housing areas.

 

I remember Geraldine very well.   I can still hear her breathing.  

 

I don't remember the company picnic that night.  Just everyone yelling and banging on anything that made a noise.   No bear spray was available.   The mountains of the mind can start early and last a lifetime. 

 

Silvertip Grizzlies can smell you from 18 miles away.  Remember that when you're making your way through grizzly country and carrying all of your compliant proteins and foods with you. 

[MeadowLily]

http://picosong.com/kg4H/

[MeadowLily]

O'er the last few weeks, I've learned some new cuss words.  I really like them.   So much so that Maw doesn't believe that they're SWYPO swear words but the real thing. 

 

Most of them I've picked up from watching HK and GR, the Master C.  Master of cuss words and everything else.  I secretly lurve that man.   

 

I imagine that he's in my kitchen and eating my cooking.  OMG, the Master Cuss words that are coming out of his mouth would curl your hair.  He's telling me all kinds of things that are true.

 

That's the thing about tough love.  It needs to come from someone who can show you how it's done rather than tell you.  Showing and Telling are two different things.   Good teachers show you the way you can change your world.  

 

Helping vs. Telling.

 

A good teacher helps you and shows you.  That's a good parent, too.   Good teachers and parents want you to succeed rather than just telling you want to do.   

 

HK and GR  shows you exactly what to do on those MC shows with newbies and home cooks. There's whopping boatloads of tough love and a lorra lorra swear and cuss words.  Lurve those, too.  They're all helping me right now.

 

A Whole 30 requires cooking.  You can do a Grab-n-Go Whole 30, buying all prepped, prepared and canned foods.  It can be done but you won't learn much.  There is no such thing as the Finish Line with cooking and dishes.  Dishes are forever.    I'd like to throw them out the yard like Lisa does on Green Acres.   

 

Cooking is a real chore for some people and a delight for others.   I'm on the fence.   I would like GR to come to my house and show me how it's done.  I know I would never forget it.  He would also scare the multi-crap right outta of me.  I would like that.   Really.

 

I like men and women of true conviction.  Those that have walked the plank and lived to show you how it's done.  Telling without experience is story-telling and often imaginary.  Seeing is believing.  Show me the money.

 

Talking is easy and doing is hard.  Doing what you said you were going to do is harder still.

 

There is a time for talking and a time for doing.  GR/HK is all of those things.  If we don't do what we tell others to do,  we mislead ourselves.  

 

Doing something now is always better than doing absolutely nothing.  

 

Broken promises.  Don't do it.  Once you start a Whole 30, see it all of the way through.  Don't tell me what you're going to do,  simply do what you say.  Walk the talk, and if you can't,  I'm not listening. 

 

Tell the truth to yourself.  To your family and friends.  And especially to GR/HK because his Crap-O-Meter is always on.  He can detect phony bologna 18 miles away.   He is like the Silvertip Grizzly of the food biz.   I lurve GR,  I really, really do.  

 

I can't use the new words that GR is teaching me because it would be shocking. 

[MeadowLily]

When Bear gets home, I'll be using my new frickity frick frick shocking vocabulary. 

 

If you're all stressed out, let a few rip.  Really.  It's far better than shoving your emotions down with food.  And I think you do get better results when you're being boisterous and rowdy. Cowgirl UP. 

 

 

[MeadowLily]

[MeadowLily]

Let's cook with wild and reckless abandon.  It will make us stronger. 

 

[MeadowLily]

[MeadowLily]

Why do people relapse after major weight releasing.

 

We can forget the pain and misery and often fear takes back over.   It doesn't matter if it's through WLS or doing it on your own  with hail-bent determination...  Willpower will only carry you so far and then it stops working.

 

Even if you're a legacy lifer dieter,  willpower,  a stupendous effort will  jump ship.  The leptin study revealed the loopholes.  Without outside help you can end up right back where you started before you can say Groundhog Day. 

 

I know the stats.  I've made all of the same mistakes 5 or 6 times just to be sure.  This is where asking for outside help comes in to keep yourself in remission with accountability tools.  Positive peer support is effective when even the best of heaven-bent personalities fall back into old habits and end back up on the gerbil wheel of food addiction and thrill eating.

 

I've watched it happen first-hand and to others, even with the WLS.   In previous attempts with brutally strict dieting and edging right up on an optimum setpoint,  the body and brain will sabotage a maintenance strategy.

 

You have to actually know what this feels like in your body to understand it.  The appetite control center is in the brain and it will drive you down the road of forgetting everything you've been through with huge rationalizations. 

 

You cannot explain it to someone who's not been there.  You have to feel the ruthlessness, the wily coyote, wolf at the door ready to take you for another ride down to the city landfill.  He'll dump you out on your head and never look back.  He's headed back into town for another one.

 

You're left there in full relapse without a way home.  Stranded.  Old lovers may wave as they drive by...Bye Felicia,  Tee-Time,  gotta run and put the pedal to the metal.  Any number of scenarios but you're alone without a clue how to put yourself back together. 

 

Cowgirls can cry if they want to.  Go ahead but then you've got to pull yourself back up and head back to the barn for recovery and find a real circle of support.   They'll help you keep learning and keep you informed.  

 

You can better believe that no one believes they will relapse,  even after WLS.  No one thinks it will ever happen to them.  They're 100% confident of that and then it does. They're not a failure.  Morbid obesity is complex.   Fear and trauma,  genetics, disease (thyroid, diabetes, autoimmune) and so on.

 

Relapse to Remission.   I had to seek help and sit down with someone Face-to-Face to get off the gerbil wheel.  I know the lifelong stats for remission from morbid obesity tooling along on your own.  

 

Many a strong personality has reached their optimum setpoint only to start eating it all back the very next day and not knowing why.   I cannot do that again.  

 

This time, I followed through.   I found my support.   My thrill is no longer on the hill with highly engineered to be craved foods and finely tuned snacks.  Food rewards do not give me any comfort. They haven't solved a single problem in my life.   Not one.

 

Facing everything head-on with support has made all of the difference for me.   Learning everything about Whole 30 foods and cruising the backroads of this forum has kept me intact. When TeeDee speaks,  you can better believe my ears perk up and I listen,  I absorb and take it to heart.

 

I didn't have anymore legacy lifer dieting in me.  It was over.  It never ever worked and made a mess out of everything.    My hope was in recovery and remission from obesity.  

 

You have to know what morbid obesity feels like to understand.  You cannot explain obesity to family and friends without old triggers (emotional) and potshots coming over the bow of think so's.  It doesn't work. There's too much history and huge rationalizations.

 

I had to find my way without whey and weigh.   I can't go backwards and relapse.   This isn't my first rodeo but I believe it's my last one.   I don't know if I would have the gumption to do this all over again.

I've watched them fall and it crushes my spirit when I see them along the highway, stranded.  

 

I'm no quitter.   I want everyone who's actually been there to succeed.   It will take longer than 30 days but it will be so worth it. 

 

 

[MeadowLily]

Eat your BABreakfast.  Every single day.   It's part of the miracle.   

 

Skipping meals every day is not intermittent.  Daily eating all of your meals at the end of the day when your metabolism is naturally going down with the sunset is not the way to go.

 

I've played with experimentation in my lifetime.  You can reduce it down to 1 meal aday or maybe 2, but you will not have the same results for weight releasing.  If you're leptin resistant and have diabetes,  3 meals aday.  

 

When you're working on your own positive food management plan,  3 meals a day is optimum. When suppertime rolls around,  you won't be eating all the things through the evening until midnight.

 

Nuh huh.   You're in the Zone and no longer in the Twilight Zone where everything becomes fruitcake nutty and tooty frooty.

 

Skipping meals would ruin me.  I can still eat 4 eggs in the morning with my other quality proteins and never bat an eyeball.  People may roll their eyeballs but I don't give a rat's @$$ what they think.  It works.   

 

It started working for me 2 years ago when I was told that eating breakfast within one hour of waking would fix everything.   I believed it.  I still believe it. 

 

My upticks in blood sugar stopped.  It carried me through to my lunch and my dinner,  5-6 hours inbetween.   I don't eat any snacks.   Nadda one.  I don't eat in my car unless I'm traveling long distances.  I pull over and focus.   You can't eat on high mountain passes and drive at the same time.

 

I still think through choices and consequences - mostly the pain and remembering what it felt like to sit on the couch at the speed of zero  - feet/knees hurting preventing me hiking the mountains.  There's the emotional pain.

 

Start with the BAB because your day starts with food.  If you're skipping meals and waiting for the end of the day food reckonings-metabolism crawling around on its hand and knees....rethink that when it's no longer working for you. 

 

If you're still falling back into periodic binge and thrill eating,  skipping meals is not working. It's never worked for me.   

[MeadowLily]