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Did you find yourself sweeter and kinder after Whole30 reintro?


MeadowLily

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All brain and no soul.

 

Neuroscience may be all of the rage but for food addictions or any other kind of addiction, those who are immersed in their world of pain.  Not so much.

 

Addictions are a chronic disease of rewards.  You can zero in on every micro minutiae of the brain and still not solve the puzzle of addiction.  Alcoholics usually can't even remember their first drink.  There's even a scientific study on those who use tanning beds.   They show brain changes like addicts do. 

 

Tanning beds can be an addictive reward.   Just like sugar. 

 

When dealing with food addiction or anything other kind,  you need to know more about the soul.   The rest of your life,  your sense of value and meaning in this world.   If just filling your head with science fixed everything, then there would be no more chronic food addictions or disorders.  

 

Food addiction can't be overgeneralized.   One size does not fit all.  

 

Overthinking and overlearning can be addictive.  Stimulating. You can fill your head UP with knowledge.

Has it changed everything for you then? 

 

All kinds of addiction.... doesn't begin and end with the pleasure centers in the brain.  The appetite control center is in the brain.   All brain and no soul won't solve the problems. 

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We can give someone every ounce of science.  Some may say,  don't give me any of those emotional answers.   I want the science.   All brain and no soul.   

 

Write back a couple of years from now and tell us how that's all working out.  

 

I've read ISWF several times and I know the science.  Being willing to search the ugly dark corners of the ego and super ego helped me.  Sitting down with someone.  Face-to-Face.   

 

Body.  Mind.  And Spirit.   You need all three to recover from any kind of addiction.   

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Nurturing the spirit sets the table for food addiction recovery.

 

Spiritual help is not the same as self-help.  Looking after your spirtual health is connection and letting go at the same time.   Spiritual health is turning loose of the body's hold over you....in the form of food addiction, body and weight obsessions.  All of it. 

 

The spiritual connection is good medicine.   It takes fear out and allows recovery to come in. 

 

Spiritual health and well-being.  Turning loose of the body's addiction for rewards that get you nowhere good. 

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During the lost years of food addiction, I was numbing myself out with food.  Food addicts develop isolated routines of secret eating in the car or home and shoving emotions down with food...and "self"-centered around fear.

 

Willpower will only get you so far.  With bare knuckling it and willpower comes the relapse.  Over and over and over again -  Along with wild swings UP and down with dieting to compensate for binge and thrill eating.  Weight swings and more numbing out.   Muddling around and going through the motions.  You can't out-exercise a binge eating disorder.  

 

Dieting =  Illusion of Control

 

Relapsing.  Some give up and never make it back.  

 

You don't thrill eat because of any particular emotion...you shove emotions down with food because you have a food reward addiction.  Dis-eating,  disconnectedness, self-willing it with willpower are a struggle of life with a food addiction.

 

A quiet life of desperation trying to fill the hole with donut holes ain't the way to go.  Thrill eating was sleepwalking through life.   But we don't have to solve things on our own.  We can't control what anyone thinks of us and trying to use self-control can be a trigger for more food addiction and binge and thrill eating. 

 

Connection with others and your spirit brings tremendous freedom and relief.  Reach out.

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Wine and chocolate squares every day.  Can you do it.  Sure.  We get to decide what the problem foods are.  

 

Can you live one day without them.  If not, may be time to reassess food rewards for a lifetime going forward.  One man's ingrained habitual trigger is another man's source of pleasure and comfort.  Or that could be imaginary comfort.   

 

Playfoods.  Could I eat one gummy bear aday and play with the rest of them.  I could.   Would I be skating on thin ice.  Yes.   I've been allergic to corn syrup since birth. Somewhere along the line, I decided to override that.  Actually, Maw did it for me.  I can't remember when I had my first one but it was like the first drink.  

 

Watched a PBS program about how our mother's eating habits really affect our eating habits and odds of developing diabetes.  Country kids who went to the big city increased their odds of developing diabetes.   Mothers who ate multi-crap.  Ditto.  Thanks for the memories, Maw.  She ate multi-crap every single day before I was born.  I am paying for it but I take full responsibility for it.   

 

Eating gummy anything everyday would be meandering outside of my normal river banks. Playfoods are something I can live without.  Chocolate squares/bars/whopping boatloads of chocolate don't mean anything to me and I cannot work it up.  Wine.  Ditto.

 

I practice Urge Surfing. Smart dogs like Jack Russells can learn it, too.   Someone I know taught his JR to sit at his food and not touch it until he gives the eat command. His Grandpaw came over, fed the dog with wait command but wandered off and forgot the dog.  The dog sat there for hours waiting and staring at his dish until Grandpaw remembered and returned.  Obedient and faithful to the end.

 

Urge surfing to ride the waves of old impulses to engage in old habits.   Urges and cravings create feelings and sensations in the body and brain.  I can't stop the waves but I've learned to surf.  

 

Dogs are barky and snarkalicious fur friends.  I've learned alot about life from my dog.   Eating one gummy aday.  I could do it but what for.  Playfoods.  It's overriding a corn syrup allergy (not imaginary - had the test with an allergist) that may lead back to the sharky waters.   shark-attack-smiley.gif?1292867670

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Spent the afternoon and night at the hospital with the folkaronies.  Paw has pneumonia and we left him there.  I'll be there first thing tomorrow and may spend the night sitting in a chair. Another veteran saw the ambulance pull into the house,  he's young and so thoughtful.  He helped them carry Paw out and load him in there.  He helped my mother gather clothes for his suitcase.   There's good people around when you need them.  I'm grateful.   My snarkling dog was at the door to greet me with high pitched howls and dog kisses when I made it home. Real friends.  We sure need them. 

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Last night, we met the fittest nurse.  She has muscles from head to toe and is battle ready. We asked her where in the world did she come from.  The military.  Recently home from the sandbox as they say, out of some elite medical outfit.  Maw and I are so happy she's taking care of Paw.  She works out and says you cannot do that heavy lifting and hardwork without being in tip-top condition.   You'll burn out with the feet, ankles, knees, back, shoulders....everything falling apart when you're living on candy and donuts from the breakroom.

 

We've been in alot of hospitals and there was that usual breakroom with economy bags of candy and multi-crap within arm's reach.  Candy does not keep you alert or awake.  It makes a mess out of everything including the attitude and aptitude for an incredibly stressful job.  The candy eaters were grumpy and sour,  beaten down by life, working long hard hours.

 

Our ICU nurse is shiny with health.  You meet some of the unhealthiest people in a hospital. Stress overload burn-out,  12 hour shifts,  14 days in a row.    Muscle mass and good health,  you want your loved one to have that when the chips are down.  Watching her work is pure art.  Smooth and fluid, a body in motion. She deserves every award but I'll just thank her again for being the absolute best and gifted.

 

Paw was holding onto her hands and thanking her for being so frickity frick frick awesome.  My heart goes out to the candy eaters, too.    I want to snatch every bag and throw it out the window as I drive down the road.  

 

They say whoever they are...there's nothing worse than a recovering food addict and candy eater.  I think thrill eating is like a cone geyser.    Thrill eating is a gigantic pressure cooker, fueled by multi-crap.

 

The urges and cravings are heated by reservoirs to well over the surface boiling point.  The superheated urges and body sensations in anticipation of giving into the old impulses to engage in the food explosion....superheats upward.  

 

It is called loading the deep reservoir chamber.  The urges and cravings fill the sealed space of your body.  Pressure is released by blathering and foaming at the mouth.  Remaining silent with secret eating allows the chamber to boil,  blasting steam and sugary sharky waters up the vent.  

 

The pressure builds behind the narrow constrictions and thought processes until jets of steam and full on food benders explode up.  Rising on the average 200 feet in the air.  

 

As the chamber drains,  the pressure drops and the process of thrill eating begins again.  It's a faithful process but there's cracks and fissures that supply the chamber.  Eventually thrill eating is no longer faithful due to faulty plumbing.   It does begin to shake your faith and it no longer draws a crowd.  

 

The average intervals inbetween eruptions are disrupted and explosive food releases drain away. Thrill eating isn't really faithful but one hot mess. 

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I had to come home and shake it off for awhile.  Everything at the hospital turned into a total cluster..of negative events.  Some weekend dude came in and said the most negative things to my folks.   They both had a full blown panic attack and neither one of them could catch their breath.  Then there was more medicine to calm everyone down.  

 

I'm so upset I could scream my head off but I did not.  I came home, fed my snarkling and breathed.  I'm here to tell you,  when you go through this with your folkaronies,  do not let some goofball speak out horrible negative things about the end.  It does absolutely nothing for anyone.  We know everything we need to know.  We are living in reality.   Some things are better left unsaid because all it does is plant bad seeds.  

 

I have get rid of the root rot now.  The negative words spoken out over someone's spirit can literally scare them to pieces.  This gives me a big pinch.  That generation bows down to anyone who speaks anything out about your health.  But I don't.    

 

I have faith and I believe in miracles.  It's always carried me through.   Now, it's damage control time.

Good think I ate a BAB,  a BAS, and whole foods today.  I'm loaded for bear.  I don't like confrontations but don't mess with my folks...not on my watch.  Alrighty then.  So long now and Bye Felicias. 

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With my positive food management plan, I don't do any offing.  There is no off or on.  All or nothing. Good girl/bad girl.  I'm not being "naughty" or "nice".   

 

I tool along without corn syrup and noxious weeds - which includes chicory.  

 

I choose to be kinder and sweeter today but it's difficult with obnoxious offenders.  I simply don't bring any of the offenders into my home.   Food, that is.  Or the other varieties either.  

 

Whilst you're out and about,  you will encounter everything.   This is when I  "surf".  I ride the waves.  It works in other situations, too....when you really want to let loose.   I'm keeping it together like a duck. Calm on top of the water and paddling like hail underneath.  

 

I need to get all of my fieldwork done today but I've got to run.  

 

There really is no away.   When we think about the world's garbage....where can we send it that it would never come back.  It doesn't exist.  That away place.

 

When we think about our garbage, there is no place to send it.  It comes right back and sits on your doorstep.   When the grape is being squeezed that's when you'll find the true essence of the grape.

 

The duck stops here.  

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Maw must have grown a pair.  Finally.   We're bringing Paw home and he'll do much better with two bossy nurses.  count-sheep-smiley.gif?1292867576No negative think so's and visuals.   Just a lorra lorra,  "here, let me do it" and "we need to do it this way".   The exchange of energy.   There's nothing that good food and much love can't fix.  

 

Bye Felicias.  

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My abilities have officially extended beyond the Grass Whisperer to Folkaronie Whisperer. Docs and nurses through the years have told me that I'm good with the old folks.   I've been around them all the days of my life.   It's my job... without pay but plenty of perks.   

 

Yesterday, one bird was flapping her wings at the elevator and screeching like a hoot owl.  There was no one around but me.  What's UP,  young lady.   Claustrophobia  and I can't get on there!  It might quit working and I can't, I can't..... She had herself all jacked up into a low grade panic attack.  Wings flapping and screeching.

 

I told her there were 4 flights of stairs and she did not have claustrophobia.  The elevator is brand new.

Large enough for bed and peeps. She was hungry and did not want to ride but couldn't take the stairs. So I looked in her eyes and said believe you can and you will.   You are strong.  You've lived through tough times.  You can take this elevator to the bottom and we will go to the cafeteria and get your food.

 

Get in.   I pushed the button,  door shut and down we went.   I let her out and here you are, young lady. You are brave and you are strong. 

 

Mind over matter.  If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.   We are the things we tell ourselves.  You can wither a plant with negative words and the older folkaronies can drop like flies with negative everything. They are in a weakened state.  Fear is absolutely contagious.   The last thing you do is feed into their fears and phobias because it spreads like a wildfire. 

 

It's the same way with tender sprouts.  They absorb fear like a sponge. 

 

I met up with two of my classmates while I was there.  All three of us have some strong feelings based on spending years as caregivers.  We mean it.   The man just started telling me his think so's in the breakroom.  He didn't need to elaborate or set it up because we're on the same page in the same book of never wanting to take suitcases full of medicines.

 

He told me he didn't want any more diagnostic testing or blood tests or anything.   I said,  me either. It's all fear based.  Find some lil something and then whittle away at your body until there's nothing left.

Piece by piece and limb by limb.  Take you apart.  Take whopping boatloads and trunks full of meds. Uppers and downers and lifters and breathers and multi-crappers because everything quits working with meds.  

 

We compared notes and agreed.  We even shared a really strong handshake on it.   He told me he refused to go out that way.  He had lost a sibling and now both of his folks had cancer.  They were taking parts out,   chemo/radiation and sicker than dogs.   We both strongly feel that fear ruins everything. That generation is strong but there's this fear based stuff that's been planted into their heads that more meds are better and more surgery fixes everything.  It does not at some particular point in time.

It just causes so much agony and pain and suffering.  Suitcases full of meds prolong that state of suffering and day by day the fear intensifies.   

 

He told me that he didn't want to know anything and if it's his time,  he's not going out like that.  I'm there, too.   He is in great physical condition and he's doing all he can to stay that way.   I refuse to end up living in fear.   When it's my time,  it's my time.   I'm spiritually ready.   

 

I don't ask for much but I don't want to live on meds.  I want overall health and well-being.  Why do you think I hang around here.  Blathering and foaming at the mouth about everything.   

 

It's my release.  A source of comfort and joy and bliss.   I stay strong for the folkaronies but I have to let this out.  I've shoved everything down with food and it ruined everything.  All brain and no soul...that ain't the way to go.  You don't want to go out like that.   

 

Body.  Mind.  Spirit.   

 

Speak boldness into the older folkaronies every chance you get.  Somewhere along the line, they got off-track with fear based medicine and removing body parts, one by one.   

 

 

She believed she could.   So she did.  

 

I'm changing my life one limb and body part at a time.   I take nothing for granted.  I'm grateful for today.  

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What causes someone to eat in all back in a fraction of the time it takes to reach an optimum setpoint.  

 

Fear.  

 

Fear of all kinds and former traumas heat up those old reservoirs to well over the boiling point. Fear and stress prevent maintaining a major weight releasing.  When the grape is squeezed the true essence is revealed. 

 

The fear of relapse causes more fear.   A self-fulfilling prophecy.   Full filling.  Full feeling.   

 

It's not the quality of food that a thrill eater is after but that stuffed to the gills feeling. Loading the deep reservoir chambers of the body.  Every inch.  

 

I read those magazines in the breakroom and everyone was getting bikini ready for summer.  One story in particular stood out.  Someone who keeps struggling to release the same 75 or 80 lbs year after year. All of the dieting hasn't fixed it for them.   They should turn around and take a good hard look at the fear that prevents them from maintaining all of those weight releasings.   

 

We know those who are pros at the releasing part but immediately eat it back and then some. That used to be me and there are others who have access to every available help in the world.   There is no away.  It doesn't exist.  We can try to send all of our garbage away but it comes back when the grape is squeezed.

 

Squeezed olives and grapes make the best kind of oils and fruit juices only to be used as a sweetening agent in recipes.  If there was only that magical away place where we could send everything and it would never come back.

 

Face your fears.  All of them.

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My folks had really, really tough childhoods.  Paw lost his folks at an early age and was basically an orphan. He and his brothers traveled the world together.  They're all each other had.  They searched the world over and found true loves.  

 

Paw found peace, comfort and a home when he met Maw.  I told Maw this is really hard stuff we're going through and those golden years they speak of are often a bunch of hooey and bologna.  But she says this is real life.  

 

My hope for all of us is that the golden years are not behind us.   Much love.  Bye Felicias. 

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I had to come home and shake it off for awhile.  Everything at the hospital turned into a total cluster..of negative events.  Some weekend dude came in and said the most negative things to my folks.   They both had a full blown panic attack and neither one of them could catch their breath.  Then there was more medicine to calm everyone down.  

 

I'm so upset I could scream my head off but I did not.  I came home, fed my snarkling and breathed.  

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this and that the people that are supposed to help you, aren't.  Snuggle the dog and re-centre yourself.

 

Hoping your Paw is on the mend!

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Thanks.   That one has spoken other negative prognostications over other family members.   You cannot unhear those things.  It takes major damage control to get rid of the root rot that spreads everywhere.   You have to speak 100 X more positive things to uproot a negative.   Why it's so much easier to believe the negative than positive..human nature, I guess.

 

Ooo,  personal note.  Not eating my way back to marshed mellowland.  Nuh huh.  Heck-a-toot, No.  

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Where there's smoke, there's fire.   Lightning strike and dry fuels.

 

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Sometimes, you need Grab N Go Whole 30's.   Most of the time,  some cooking is required. We have time for all kinds of appointments, getting our hair and toenails unfurled.  When you think you don't have time for cooking, what do you have time for?

 

If we can't find a few minutes to exercise, cook and eat well because it doesn't seem as urgent...if we can't find the time to take care of ourselves,  it's time for a change.   Remember it is just as important to ward off health problems in the future. 

 

Don't underestimate how stress and anxiety has a big effect on appetite,  intake and all body processes. The way we deal with stress when the grape is squeezed doesn't have to add a tonne of extra time. Reflecting on priorities only takes a split second. 

 

All or nothing doesn't work for me.  I used to look at entire days as a success or failure. Those were the dieting days and one multi-crap item ruined the entire day so that led to full-on bender food explosions.   Just because you miss your morning routines doesn't mean you throw the rest of the day out the window.   Tiny steps for tiny feet.  Small steps and being flexible with thinking during the day add up to the big WIN.   

 

We can't control the circumstances but we can control our choices.  

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Fruit Loose.  Over the past week,  all of the fruit in my fridge was still sitting there along with the fresh vege I needed to use.   I've roasted up two large pans of fresh brussels, broccoli, sweet tatas, purple cabbage, kale, celery, carrots, sweet onions, squashes and green beans. 

 

I have individual bags galore. I'll make some balsamic reductions with the berries.  I have chicken on the grill.   In a couple of days,  I'm going to have fish, fish, fish - flash frozen, arriving at my door.  Bear has been catching some 40 and 50 lb.'rs.   My freezer will be full of fish.

 

He said that eating that fresh fish immediately from the ocean has been giving him the wildest dreams - in color he's ever had.  Startling dreams that he cannot tell if it's  a dream or real.  His brain is firing on all cylinders.  That's what fresh fish does for you.  Canned fishes are not the same.  He is a grizz and he's having a great time.

 

The folkaronies didn't want me to say one single thing about the past week because they don't want his trip to be sullied with worry.bike-smiley.gif?1292867556 It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut but I did it.   Only the Shadow :ph34r: knows and anyone who reads this.  

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Here's a good find.  I have a cold brew pitcher like this.   I put fresh fruit or cucumbers with lemon/limes/berries into the cylinder.   It can be used for cold brew coffee but I use it for tea.

F05322_1_Bags.jpg

 

You don't even have to buy cold brew tea bags.

F05406_1_Bags.jpg

 

Any tea bag works wonderfully.  I use 4 green tea bags and one berry tea bag in the cylinder, add cold water and voila.  It lasts in the fridge for days.  

F05405_1_Bags.png

I tried 6 green tea bags and 2 other tea bags and it was too strong.  

 

F07411_1_Bags.jpg

 

I really like the Twinings Mixed Berries for cold brew.  

 

 F07412_1_Bags.png

 

  • Tea
  • Natural cherry
  • Blueberry
  • Blackcurrant
  • Raspberry and tea flavourings with other natural flavourings
  • Tea extract

8 oz. Glass to 1 Tea Bag;

Simply add cold water to Twinings Cold Brewed Iced Tea, let stand for 5 minutes or desired taste. Add ice. Enjoy sweetened or plain - the choice is yours. For a stronger tasting tea add more tea bags and steep longer. For a quart pitcher, use 4-6 tea bags.

 

 

 

There are cold brew teas but regular ones work just fine.  

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Your infused water is a total cinch to make.  Take out the cylinder and reload.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  

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This has made summer drinks so worth it and fun. Berries and citrus,  cucumbers and citrus,  spices, mint...the sky is not the limit. The cold brew is less acidic.  Pour over ice. It's all fun, really.

 

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I discovered that I can make tea with my filtered water without even having to boil it... Fast berry tee, and it's excellent for my digestion... I am back home after 10 days with my French family, where I recuperated from whatever I had. I know each ting has a yang, my head was in turmoil, but that too has improved. keep on writing.... I need that daily update coming into my box....

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Maw had a hysterically funny dream.  We rolled around on the floor with laughter.  Good medicine.  We needed that because we've been going through some really, really tough things together. 

 

She went to an extra fancy restaurant.  There were porta-pots around the table instead of chairs and newspapers all over the floor. :P  :P  :P  When she finished eating, the double doors of the kitchen blew off the hinges and tidal waves of biblical proportions came through and washed all of the tables, the porta-pots and newspapers away.  The restaurant was gone.  Maw woke up and was totally relieved because that meant she didn't have to take care of anything.   Done.   :D 

 

Next.  

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We laughed and laughed and laughed.   Maw has the cutest laugh and I snort through my nose when we can't stop.  These are the best of times.

 

It's hotter than a fritter outside and I had to mow, irrigate and whack the weeds down.  Things have been getting away from me.  I was up til midnight but the moonbeams were giving me light.  I surveyed my work this morning and I don't see a single dead corner or dry patch,  even with all of this heat.   

 

Bear is making his way back home.  I didn't have to open my mouth.  He drove 18 hour days on the way there but will be taking it much easier coming home.   Yay!   Because now that I can see the end of all of this fieldwork,  I have cement patching, more pea gravel shoveling and deep cleaning to do.  

 

I've got to kick it UP a few notches.  I'm happy.  The folkaronies cried when he left and Paw clings to the Bear.  He's the son they've never had and he says they are the folks he'd always wanted to have. He lost his father as a young boy.  They have much in common.  

 

Through the years, Bear has worked with several men who've lost their fathers as children.  It does something or creates something different inside of these boys.  They all share it. There's a drive that's unique.  Those tender grapes are squeezed way too early and their essence is revealed.   They become the strong man of the house.  Caregivers.   Helping the less fortunate and tender-hearted.   Giving anyone the shirt off their back.  

 

Bear wasn't catching any fish for awhile so he was giving other men up there at the North Pole,  jars of his southern sorghum and bags of homemade jerky for half of a fish here and there.  Oooo, we can all see it.   He met up with a Russian and Japanese man.  He said listening to their fluent Russian and Japanese is smooth and beautiful.   The three of them have been fishing and sharing their provisions for weeks.  They're enjoying each other's company and learning much from each other.   

 

The Japanese man had some coconut/peanut butter that he's been sharing.  Bear wants me to buy some. I think he said 'earthbalance'.    They're fishing and sharing food.  A big ole country boy can survive.  I can tell when they're around.   I call and he's showing off.   I say,  Ooooo,  you have an audience.   Because you're talking that he-man smack just like boys in high school.  

 

We're glad he's coming back.   The dog will howl and carry on.   We are family in the best and worst of times.   Treasure and guard your health in your youth.   Protect it.   It's all you have in the end along with your faith and beliefs.   

 

I can actually make alot of spiritual connections to the Whole 30.   It is the narrow gate.   

 

Broad and wide is the door that leads to multi-crap.   At the movies or drive-thrus.  It takes faith to believe you can.    You really can change your relationship with food with faith and whole foods. 

 

Bye Felicias.   

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Your life sounds like a fairy tale... I love how descriptive you are, I can make up pictures in my head with all the details you come up with. It's hot here even up where I am. Waiting for a thunderstorm to cool off things. Glad your man is heading back...

I knew a man who lost his dad at age 16. It did something to him, and it was not nice. I am glad you found the nice version...

Day 1, and I am struggling to get 3 meals in...

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