Encouraging our 3 year old to try new foods

[_mandacell]

My husband and I will be doing our first whole30 after Christmas.  I would love to include our 3 year old but for the last year and a half we have had a very hard time getting him to try anything new.  He has a very limited diet including fruit, cheese, yogurt, crackers, eggs and chicken nuggets.  I can sneak veggies into a smoothie but I would like to get him to try and eat more.  I naively though "I'll never have a picky eater" before I had kids.  Thankfully our 15 month old will try everything I give him but it doesn't sway our toddler.  I would love to start the 3 bite rule but he won't even touch something if he doesn't like the way it looks.  Anyone have a very picky toddler and have tips on how to get him to even take a taste of something?

[MeadowLily]

Let them get hungry

 

"Kids have become grazers, expecting a near-constant supply of juice boxes and crackers. Dinner – where more nutritious food is served – can become an afterthought. "Don't be afraid to let your kids get a little hungry before mealtime," says Betsy Hicks, coauthor of Picky Eating Solutions.

This doesn't mean they shouldn't have any snacks. After all, with their rapid growth and small stomachs, children do need to eat between meals. But there's a difference between providing moderate snacks and letting food serve as your children's primary boredom-buster.

If you find your kids demanding one snack after another, get them involved in an art project, take them out for a walk, or break out the sidewalk chalk. The likely result? Mealtime will become more satisfying. "There's immense joy in sitting down to a table when you're hungry," says Hicks. "I think a lot of today's children don't get to have that experience."

Why it works: Kids are more likely to eat different types of food if they're hungry, even foods that scare them a little. "Think about what it would take for you to eat a worm, as they do in some parts of Asia," says Hicks. "It would be scary to you – just as broccoli is scary to some kids – but you'd certainly be more likely to try it if your stomach was empty."

[_mandacell]

I already know he doesn't have the best diet.  I want to change his diet without starving him out at first try.  I am looking for help, not parent shaming "how could you feed your child that" responses.  Thank you for your concern.  I hope your children eat everything you serve them.  

[ShannonM816]

 

 

My husband and I will be doing our first whole30 after Christmas.  I would love to include our 3 year old but for the last year and a half we have had a very hard time getting him to try anything new.  He has a very limited diet including fruit, cheese, yogurt, crackers, eggs and chicken nuggets.  I can sneak veggies into a smoothie but I would like to get him to try and eat more.  I naively though "I'll never have a picky eater" before I had kids.  Thankfully our 15 month old will try everything I give him but it doesn't sway our toddler.  I would love to start the 3 bite rule but he won't even touch something if he doesn't like the way it looks.  Anyone have a very picky toddler and have tips on how to get him to even take a taste of something?

 

I know these are packed lunches, not sit down meals, and they're from a professional blogger who takes a lot of time to stage and take pretty pictures, but have you checked out Nom Nom Paleo's lunch box ideas? I know not every meal can look pretty -- mine definitely don't -- but there's something very appealing about pretty food. Maybe if it looks interesting enough, he'll be more tempted to try it?

 

Is there something about the foods he won't eat that is the problem? Like, texture issues maybe? (I'm 39, I still have to hide cooked greens in things most of the time because of the slimy factor, which I know is silly. I'm getting better, but some days I still just can't face a pile of cooked spinach or kale unless it's scrambled into eggs or cooked with a bunch of other ingredients.  I have a nephew who won't eat ground beef because of the texture of it -- I have no idea what it is about it, but he's 7 and doesn't like burgers. Weird child .)

 

If he likes chicken nuggets, you can always find a paleo/Whole30 version of those to make, so at least they're a healthier version.  Would he like other finger foods? If so, The Clothes Make The Girl has a ton of meatball recipes. If he eats eggs, could you make egg muffins with some veggies in them? You didn't mention them, but does he like mashed potatoes? If so, start mixing cauliflower in with the potatoes, he probably won't notice, but you'll be getting a different veggie in there for him. You could also try sweet potatoes -- mashed or roasted or made into "fries" that you bake in the oven. 

 

 

 

 

 

[_mandacell]

I buy the organic chicken nuggets, he does not eat fast food or perdue ones (they are gross!)   He does not say why he won't eat it.  He finally started talking this fall so we had a communication barrier for a while.  He will not eat mashed potatoes or pasta or rice. I offer him what we are eating every night but he pushes it away and says "No, I don't want it".  I will ask him why or try to make it low pressure but his response is always "No I don't want it".  He loves helping me cook and prep veggies but will not even lick one.  I am not thrilled with his diet but I need him to eat something.  I do feel like I am doing him a disservice as a parent but I work full time and I can only offer new foods at dinner and on the weekend.   I am also torn because this could just be a phase and I do often wonder if I should ride it out but I am worried I will create a bigger monster.  I want him to like food and want to try new things.  I have heard to just keep serving him what we are eating and he will get hungry enough, but I don't want to create a fear of food either.  

 

I am going to have him help me make the sweet potato "fries" and the egg and veggie muffins and see if will try it.  

 

He has a hearty appetite and is a big kid, he just turned 3 and he is the size of a 4 year old.  

 

I will definitely check out the Nom Nom lunch box ideas!  I have been on her blog and its great!  Thanks for the suggestion.   

[HuckleBeary]

Ouch, Miss Shannon! Gosh, I don't think MeadowLily was trying to shame anyone. I think it was a legitimate answer. Often in our fast paced world, it really is easier to give in to our children rather than have a battle of wills. Guilty as charged !  I have a friend with a grandson who is now 8 years old and the entire family has given in to his finicky eating his entire life. Literally the only things he will eat are macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, yogurts and of course all the candy and fun fruits he wants with his juice boxes. I am not kidding! That is it! He will not eat meat of any kind. No vegetables or any of the things kids usually love like chicken nuggets, french fries or even pizza. He is extremely small for his age, very very thin, and his skin coloring does not look good. The doctors have also told the family to stop catering and he will eat eventually if they don't give him his usual choices but they just will NOT do it!  I call it tough love.

 

Of course this is a very extreme example. Mandacell, kids do go through cycles. Many times, what they won't eat today they will try in the future. I applaud you for your efforts to have your children eat healthy. Raising kids is not easy - as my Mother always told me, "Children do not come with an owner's manual that tells us how to raise them. We learn by trial and error and all kids are different!" Keep up the good work - you sound like an awesome Mother!

[kirkor]

Meadowlily copy-and-pasted that from a larger article, "Let them get hungry" is one tip of 7: http://www.babycenter.com/0_7-new-strategies-for-feeding-a-picky-eater_10360322.bc

 

As the son of a picky eater, I wish you luck.

My dad got his mom to kowtow to his pickiness back in the day --- when he wouldn't want what the rest of the family was eating, she'd make him a separate hotdog or PB&J, for example.

Now he's a 60 year old man who eats cheerios, chocolate chip cookies, cheetos, hot dogs, and cheeseburgers (just bun, meat, cheese) pretty much exclusively.

[ShannonM816]

Gosh, I don't think MeadowLily was trying to shame anyone. I think it was a legitimate answer. 

 

Here's the problem -- I don't know when she changed it, but this fairly reasonable answer was not the answer MeadowLily first posted. Her first response was to post a video about how chicken nuggets are made. THAT is why _mandacell felt she was being judged, and I don't blame her. I doubt MeadowLily intended it that way, but it could easily seem that way to someone who is already worried about improving what her child is eating.

 

While it is possible to edit posts (place your cursor over an old post, you should see some options pop up at the bottom that you can click on, including Edit), and it is absolutely okay to edit posts, if you just change it and don't say that you've changed it, or why you've changed it, it makes all the posts that respond to that post not make sense.  If you're just correcting a misspelled word, it's not a big deal, but if you're changing the whole thing, it's going to make it confusing for other people who come along later. When you edit a post, it's not a bad idea to add a line at the end saying why you edited it -- in fact, when you go to an old post and click edit, there's a place at the bottom for you to fill in a reason, and/or allow it to add an Edited By note. This lets people know that something changed. 

 

[_mandacell]

I am just seeing MeadowLily's updated response.  I was offended by the video about how chicken nuggets are made that had been posted before.  I am here asking for advice from parents who have picky eaters and have had success shifting their diets to include more whole foods.  I did not think that video was a productive or effective suggestion.  

 

I find her updated response and the article it came from very helpful, thank you!  I appreciate all the responses!

 

I think I will have to use a somewhat slower approach.  I am working on structuring meals instead of an all day graze now.  I do have to work with his caregivers to make sure they follow the schedule while I am at work.  I do hope that by cutting out the constant grazing his hunger will encourage him to try what I serve him.  

 

In my past experiences as a parent (taking away the pacifier), Implementing a big change in our kids' life seems soo much more of a big deal that it actually ends up being.  I never meant to cater to his tastes but fear of my child not eating got the best of me and before I knew it I ended up here.     

[SpinSpin]

I have a 3 year old as well and he has gone from a HUGE variety of items down to just a few--very frustrating! I blame part of it on a kids show he watched one day that called broccoli 'stinky' -- thanks guys--and now quite a few things that he ate before are now stinky. He has also discovered that eggs can have babies in them so they are currently out. Bah. BUT he adores dipping veggies is sauce--I make ranch dip out of my homemade mayo, with spices/herbs and thin with coconut milk, and he gobbles them up like no tomorrow. He loves chicken and fish, and I have made paleo versions of chicken nuggets using chicken pieces dipped in egg and rolled thru almond flour and then baking. He also loves roasted sweet potatoes and red skinned potatoes, grape tomatoes--he will eat 2 lbs in no time flat if I let him! And raw mushrooms are also a huge favorite--anyway, what I was getting too is I so feel your pain! We don't even get to the 3 bites, but what I do is offer the same what ever for 3 meals, be it 3 lunches, breakfasts or dinners, and eventually, he will at least try it. That is what got him into eating baby carrots. He also decided that he was a monkey robot and he needed bananas and I FINALLY got him to eat a banana in its natural form! I also sliced up some peeled apple and gave it to him with his lunch and he said it was stinky when I first set his plate down, but then he did eat all the apples. I also had to peel the apple to get him to eat it--wouldn't touch it with the peel. OH and what about letting him help you pick out veggies and fruit at the store--I think that is what helped to get the apple on the table. 

 

Are there any animals that he likes--like my kiddo with the monkey robot--that he would be willing to pretend and try their food? Picnics also became very popular and that helped him try some new foods because we had a picnic on the family room floor rather than at the table--maybe it was the change of scenery that helped! I do know that if I get stressed it seems to fuel his aha mama wants me to eat this and I won't! Bwhahaha kinda thing. I try keeping a this too shall pass mentality but it is hard! 

 

I would suggest picking up how to eat like a dinosaur--it is a paleo cookbook aimed for the small among us and it has a bunch of good ideas for feeding kiddos. Some things are a bit sweeter then I would like, but it is a good starting point. 

[CaseyD]

First, the book "French Kids eat Everything" is fantastic and full of some useful advice relevant to this conversation. That is actually where I got a lot of our mealtime ideas from.

 

For the record, my daughter went 5 days without food when she had a kidney infection and only had IV fluids during that time. So, don't ever withhold water but letting a kid get super hungry is o.k. ;-) I know other moms who have a hard time letting their kid go hungry, but truly, to truly starve your child you have to be hateful. No loving parent is going to damage their child by withholding food in favor of teaching their child better eating habits. Most of the protesting you get will be the kid trying to test their limits, not so much genuine starvation.

 

So, here's what my family has done. Let me just start this off by saying this morning my 4 year old asked me for a salad, asparagus, and salmon for breakfast, because she was really, really hungry - then told me she would like an orange after she ate all this. This plan really worked for us.

 

I made a no snacking rule. We live by this rule as much as possible. My daughter knows that she will not get to eat snack just because other kids are (that's been the hardest part, but we're getting there). There are three meals a day in our house and the only way you are getting a snack is if you come to me and either ask for a vegetable or a meat to eat. Seriously. Because you have to be pretty hungry to ask for these things. Did this create a lot of whining? Oh yes it did. My child was suddenly starving to death all the time... but only for fruit or chicken nuggets or whatever "kid marketed" food is out there. She wasn't starving for anything else, even if this poor "dying" child was given a plate of her favorite meat and vegetables. Nope, she'd just cry that it wasn't what she wanted. That is not hunger. That is a power struggle. It is important to really see the difference.

 

I never turned this into a battle. These rules were set and everyone in the house was to follow them. Just like any other rules in the house. You can choose not to follow them, sure, but the natural consequence is you are going to be hungry if you didn't eat your food. To be clear, I never force my kids to eat or finish their plates.

 

I cook healthy meals and my kids (4 and 18 mos) eat them. That's it. The kids have to taste (as in, put one bite in mouth and swallow) everything on their plate every single meal. There is no fruit or the rare treat until after the food is eaten (at first it is really good to have something after every meal, I think). Foods I know they have said or shown they like get eaten first and then the stuff they are unsure of (or sure they hate) get tasted. Every time. It can take up to 20 times for a young child to truly know if they like or don't like something. The first time is not a clear indicator as their taste buds are growing at this age. The liked stuff on the plate has to be gone, or at least mostly gone, before they get fruit or bath or play a specific game or whatever it is they were whining about wanting at the table. Sometimes, this results in me specifying a number of bites (and defining what a bite actually is).

 

If my oldest (because the toddler is an eating machine and never seems to refuse food) really does not want to eat, she doesn't get the fruit or desert (if there was one) and she may leave the table. But, she does this with the understanding that this plate of food is her next meal, when she does get hungry. This is how I don't force a kid who isn't hungry to eat. You don't get to snack on other stuff though, because if you are truly hungry, you will eat this meal that I made.

 

This may sound like I'm bribing her to eat her food, but it isn't. In our house, fruit or desert comes after the meal. This also means that if the meal is not eaten, the fruit or desert logically isn't eaten because that is supposed to follow the eaten meal. 

 

All these rules are straightforward in my house and are well known. Shoot, when a playmate comes and eats with us, my daughter will usually tell her she has to eat a certain number of bites and taste everything! These are our food rules. 

 

Food rules are really excellent to have. They take a lot of stress out of mealtime and they let the kid know what is expected of them. I started the food rules shortly after my daughter turned 3, but I see that my 18 month old is already catching on. Our rules have since expanded to manners (like speaking politely of other's cooking even when you don't like it), which I have to tell you is easier to teach when you are confining eating to just certain times of the day. Cooking is also easier because now it is confined to certain times of the day as well, and the kids are more eager to help when they know this is what they are going to be eating. 

 

I disagree that kids need to have snacks. If fed well rounded meals and given the time to finish them (kids take a lot longer to eat than adults and will sometimes even take a break mid-meal), they can last as long as adults between meals. I think parents are a little too sensitive to their hunger and want to feed them before they truly are that hungry. Also, I wonder if sometimes we are just too rushed and don't let them truly finish eating. To really start identifying their hunger, you have to let them get to the point of crying at the fridge or stove. Crying is not child abuse, either, and I know a lot of people get really uncomfortable doing that. I have taught my daughter that when she gets to this point, that means she is very hungry and that this is the best time to eat food. She is starting to recognize her hunger now because of this work. See, it doesn't have to feel like you're hurting them if you are turning it into a learning opportunity. And, it is truly remarkable when your child can come to you and tell you that they are so hungry, that they really want to eat salmon, lettuce and asparagus. Or, even better, turn down food at a party because they ate lunch already and are not hungry. Wouldn't it be magical if none of us had to go to great lengths as adult to understand our own hunger? So many of us have completely lost touch with our bodies - shoot many of us here are/were in that boat! What if we learned this gift from the start?

 

It is hard work, and with a picky eater or a strong willed child, it can feel even harder, but our kids are really looking up to us to show them the way. The harder the work you do, the more rewarding the outcome. It has certainly been that for our kids so far! 

[_mandacell]

Thank you spinspin and caseD  for your responses.  It really is such a shame that our culture in the US is the feed them constantly and that they should have "Their own kid friendly food".  I do feel disappointed that I have fallen into that trap.  My pre-baby self never would have served my children anything different.  But working full time and an unhealthy fear of choking lead me to feeding my 3 year old purees for much too long.  I know I created a monster, I am looking forward to changing this.  I will be picking up "French Kids eat Everything" asap.  I do wish I had the luxury of staying home with my boys.  It is difficult to instill eating habits when they aren't with me for a chunk of the day.  And I spend the majority of the weekend playing catch-up.   My MIL watches them on Thursdays and she will give in to Jackson at every chance.  It is frustrating.  But I feel that having a game plan I can outline on paper will help all around.  I struggle with his nutrient intake, but somehow he grows like a weed, he is the size of a 4 year old. 

 

Would it be best to abruptly change all the rules?  Maybe ease the household into it instead?

[mistymath]

We have a few rules that sort of help in our household (and of course, they are evolving as we are on day 6 of our Whole30):

 

Buddy (our oldest child's nickname; he's about 3.5) gets the same things we get to eat with rare exceptions (sometimes we will let him choose his own meal as a special treat; this usually means a peanut butter sandwich or grilled cheese, fruit, cheese, crackers, etc.).

 

We have a rule that Buddy has to at least try everything on his plate. If he tries it and still says he doesn't like it, typically we don't push him to eat more of it on that occasion, but the next time we have it, he has to try another bite.

 

We do not fix extra/different food for Buddy, even if he eats very little of what is on his plate. It's not uncommon anyway, according to a pediatrician friend of ours, for kids to eat one big meal and two smaller meals in a day. So eating a small dinner (or meal 3, in Whole30 terms) isn't that alarming at that age.

 

If Buddy finishes everything on his plate and asks for something else to eat, we will typically give him two different fruit options and let him choose. Sometimes if he asks for something specific, we will let him have that, especially if he ate a lot of veggies/fruits with his meal.

 

Consistency is key! Have your kiddos keep trying things. You probably realize that their tastes can change from one day to the next and sometimes even from one minute to the next. Keep offering them the good stuff, but also know where you are willing to compromise somewhat. I've found having the occasional meal where he gets to pick out his own food on occasion (mentioned above) really helps.

 

Another option is to only offer the foods your kids don't like first, and say they can have the one they like when they finish the undesirable food. For example, give him meat and broccoli first and tell him if he finishes all of that, then he can have a piece of fruit (or whatever ... bread, pasta, etc., although those are obviously not Whole30 options).

 

Lots of kids also love dipping sauces, so that might help him get over a fear of trying new foods.

 

Even if Buddy isn't eating, he stays at the table until the grown-ups finish eating. He often picks at his plate and eats more while he sits.

 

Hope some of these suggestions are helpful! It's an everyday struggle, but you are doing the right thing by offering a variety of healthy options and providing a good example with what YOU are eating at the table. We have discovered since starting the Whole30 that Buddy likes salad and will often pick fruit over a less healthy option WHEN GIVEN THE CHOICE. Good luck!

[KanaP]

 

Another option is to only offer the foods your kids don't like first, and say they can have the one they like when they finish the undesirable food. For example, give him meat and broccoli first and tell him if he finishes all of that, then he can have a piece of fruit (or whatever ... bread, pasta, etc., although those are obviously not Whole30 options).

 

 

Hi!

I've been reading this with interest, as I have a 3 year-old daughter... of course she never wants to try new foods! And there are a lot of veg she refuses to eat.

I never use the option mentioned above, because I don't want to force her to eat something if she's not hungry enough, just in order to get her "dessert/treat".

I never want to force her to eat/finish her plate because that's how we lose our sense of hunger/needs for food.

 

Instead, we often choose to put all of her meal on the table at the same time.

When she sits down and sees her plate of food, she nearly almost says she doesn't want to eat that. We always say that's ok if she doesn't eat it. Then she starts with eating her yoghurt, probably realises she IS hungry after all, and seeing we are not bothered, finishes her plate of veg...

We do have trouble with trying foods, sometimes we insist she at least tries one bite, sometimes she does, sometimes she refuses, and I find it hard to make it a battle so I often give up...

 

It's hard to deal with and to find good balance, so good luck to you all!

 

By the way : I'm French, and find it interesting that there is a book about French kids eating everything

What is true though, is that most kids in France have 3 meals, + an afternoon snack ("goûter") at around 16:00. At lunch time our daughter eats at school, they get a proper meal with starter, main course, dessert and sometimes also cheese. Dessert can be cake or yoghurt or a fruit, it's balanced over the week.

Only drink is water.

She eats the "goûter" at school but we provide it.

[Cinnaberry74]

I have 3 kids  -2 boys that are 9 and 7 years old, and a 3 (almost 4) year old daughter.  All 3 of them are completely different eaters!  I made baby food for the boys, and baby-led solid fed my daughter (she ate when she was able to pick up her own solid foods).  My 9 year old has ADHD/ASD and has to be the pickiest eater by far, I won't even say what he eats (but I always try to make it organic when possible).  His only Whole30 compliant food would be a raw carrot.  Seriously. 

My 7 year old is slightly better, my 3 year old is OUTSTANDING.  Her lunch today was fried egg white, brussel sprouts, and an orange.  She loves every veggie, every fruit. 

 

My oldest will look at a food and not try it bases on looks.  We have tried the "if you don't eat it, you don't get anything else" approach.  I'll be darned, he just won't eat!  The 7 year old will look at it and smell.... 50/50 chance he'll try it (I just did this recently with stuffed green olives, with garlic, and he loves them.). 

 My big boy will be seeing a nutritionist next week.  I know I'm not a perfect parent, and I know that he'll grow out of this eventually, and all I can do is to keep trying!  The best thing to do is to take the kids to a healthier choice store (I love Whole Foods for this), and have them pick out something from the produce department that they'd like to try.  Google some recipes, and have them pick how they want the choice prepared, or just eat it raw.  This is what I usually do with mine .  (It doesn't always work, though...lol). 

Again, I'm not a "perfect parent"! 

[mistymath]

I never use the option mentioned above, because I don't want to force her to eat something if she's not hungry enough, just in order to get her "dessert/treat".

I never want to force her to eat/finish her plate because that's how we lose our sense of hunger/needs for food.

 

Instead, we often choose to put all of her meal on the table at the same time.

When she sits down and sees her plate of food, she nearly almost says she doesn't want to eat that. We always say that's ok if she doesn't eat it. Then she starts with eating her yoghurt, probably realises she IS hungry after all, and seeing we are not bothered, finishes her plate of veg...

 

 

I think this probably depends on the child. The reason it's effective with ours is that he won't eat something he truly doesn't want in order to get the reward. Good disclaimer, though, as it may not be a good method for OP's children, either. For our three-year-old, if we give him everything at the same time, without fail, he will first eat the food he likes, then say he's done or he doesn't like the rest of the food. We just try to use a balance of both, particularly when all the options we are offering are healthy.

[KanaP]

Yes, all kids are different, and we're all trying our best