jessicalagerhausen Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Hi, I haven't technically started Whole 30 yet, but the fact that there are as many of you out there to help me get through the hard times is incredibly motivating. Before getting off the ground, however, I've run into a bit of a hitch. My future husband (April 25, 2015!) is not one to control his eating. I will say, when he is gaining weight, he does an OK job of monitoring his intake and choosing "grilled" instead of "fried" or "diet" instead of "regular". But that is the extent of it. When I asked his interest level about Whole 30 (to start it after our honeymoon), he was completely uninterested. He doesn't see the benefits outweighing his desire to eat crappy food. His comment, "it's like speeding. I will always want to go 75 in a 70" How do I motivate a mentality like that?? He says he will do this with me, and I believe him. I truly think that if he goes the 30 days without cheating, he will see a difference and stick with the healthier eating program, but the trick is getting him NOT to cheat with bad foods/soda/cheese. Not to mention, I'm not much of a cook, so that will add an extra challenge. I mean, how can you add flavor in paleo?? I guess that is one thing I will figure out on this journey. Help!! -Jess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators ladyshanny Posted April 7, 2015 Administrators Share Posted April 7, 2015 Congrats on your upcoming wedding and your decision to pursue Whole30! Your best bet for motivating someone else is to focus on yourself. Seriously. He is an adult and if he is willing to eat whatever you cook but then goes sideways with cheese or beer, that's not on you, it's on him. The less you take personal responsibility for someone else's choices, the less stressed you are going to be! Just keep your eyes on your own plate, make decisions for yourself and let him come to it in whatever time frame works for him. You can't force another adult to do something and then think it's going to last. As far as adding flavour? The world is your oyster, my friend! The Well Fed cookbooks by Melissa Joulwan are extremely popular around these parts. And you can find a recipe for just about anything online. Thai, Indian, Mexican, Vietnamese. There's basically a zillion combinations of seasonings and spices and flavours. The Well Fed cookbooks are great (the first one in particular) for folks who maybe aren't so familiar with cooking, the recipes are totally doable with common ingredients and she has a whole section on how to precook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeadowLily Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. Don't try to motivate your husband. When we gently push or force our health priority desires down our loved ones gullet, they push back. Make your own way. Lead by example. You don't have to be a great cook. You can get by very nicely with the basics. I don't make complicated recipes. Frankly, I make single ingredients. Baked potatoes, roasted pans of every kind of vegetable, grilled fish and steaks. Fresh greens. I have learned to make balsamic reductions that I use on everything. I get by with simplicity. It's not our job to motivate our husbands or loved ones. If we do that without their full cooperation, it might lead to secret eating for them or even resentment. I've worked with many men with wives who would send them healthy lunches every day, packed with love and care....only to watch them throw it in the trash and go out with the boys to the local joint around the corner. Many aday, the rest of us would lovingly pull it back out of the trash to enable our co-worker's desire to please the wife when she slipped in the back door. This is your decision to follow a Whole 30. Do it on your own terms. You don't have to make two meals. He can add onto whatever you fix if he wants something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirkor Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I mean, how can you add flavor in paleo?? Whaa??? http://robbwolf.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/thePaleoSolution_FoodMatrix.pdf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaccini Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Okay - This is coming from a person that her SO told her she was "crazy" for taking on a whole 30. I put it in my head from the very beginning that I was doing this for me - not anyone else. So the fact that there was still cheese in the house, and pasta being cooked, chocolate and potato chips being consumed in front of me - I had to be okay with this. I could not force someone else (especially since this was a "crazy idea") to come along for the ride. If he was interested he would come on his own. What we did do was compromise. So we would discuss and plan what we wanted to eat the up coming week. (Yes planning is Key!) So if he wanted pasta with meatballs - we made compliant sauce, made compliant meatballs, and I made sure that my spaghetti squash was cooked ahead of time - so it was a matter of heat up, put sauce and meatballs with it and then eat. For him - he would just have regular pasta. Or we would make butter chicken (I would make it ahead of time) and then the evening of the meal a squash got cut up and roasted and then he would cook rice. So find some central meals that can work as a main - then find some sides that can go along. A funny thing happened during the course of my first whole 30 - the bread didn't come back, the cheese didn't enter and the chips disappeared and didn't reappear. Because out of respect my SO decided not to buy them. And he started noticing how much better I was doing. He is now super supportive of this way of eating for me. (He still doesn't follow it himself as he is too attached to grains) but we make it work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeadowLily Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 You can't force another adult to do something and then think it's going to last. Lady Shanny, I think women have a natural tendency to engage the entire pack or herd. It's what we would like to do. It's similar to the old stereotype of women going to the ladies room and taking their pack with them. We travel in herds but we have to go it alone many times when it comes to our own health. Those closest to us resist the most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessicalagerhausen Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 You are all so right. I guess I see how much he wants to improve himself that I forget these are HIS choices to make. As far as flavor, you are all AWESOME! Thanks so much for all of the helpful references! PS. I went out at lunch and bought "It Starts with Food". I'm so ready to do this! And I think you are all right, I will do this for me. If he joins me because he wants to, great. If not, maybe someday. Thanks again, all!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeadowLily Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 You are all so right. I guess I see how much he wants to improve himself that I forget these are HIS choices to make. As far as flavor, you are all AWESOME! Thanks so much for all of the helpful references! PS. I went out at lunch and bought "It Starts with Food". I'm so ready to do this! And I think you are all right, I will do this for me. If he joins me because he wants to, great. If not, maybe someday. Thanks again, all!! Wishing you a lifetime of marital bliss and happiness. You're starting off on the right foot. Always let him think he's wearing the pants and that he's in charge. ha ha ha. One more, always let him think it was his idea in the first place (even though it was always yours...it's still a BIG WIN). Ohhhh, and if it's trivia....like so and so was in that movie or sang that song and you know better, just say, Yes Hon and carry on. It doesn't matter and it's not worth arguing over. You have bigger fish to fry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.