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Doing this 30 with my mom and she hasn't read a thing and is making mistakes


tricializ

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She said, "I'm in. You better be too because I seriously have to change some things."  Ok then. I mean I bought the book and am reading it and certainly am not an expert, but the plan is not that complicated. She is on day 2 and it's frustrating me greatly. 

 

Here is her meals (hope she doesn't see this but doubt she has even read this far) 

 

M1: Banana, Bacon (I'm sure it had sugar)

M2: Not sure

Then called me chewing sugar-free gum.  MOM! 

Then had a potato with "clarified" (BS) butter and salt for dinner. 

Had a ton of pineapple too and a banana. 

 

And she wonders why her blood sugar is up. Um seriously, she is a RN, and knows better and is diabetic. (borderline but enough)

 

Today
M1: Banana and pineapple and pork sausage (sugar in that Mom)

M2: Who knows, was at a luncheon.

M3: Haven't talked to her. 

 

Oh and she put just a little sugar in her tea. What is WRONG with her? Don't do the program if you don't want to do it. I'm ok with that. But don't tell me you are going to do it and then not take 5 minutes to read what you can and can't have. So frustrated. 

 

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Mothers and daughters.   You read the book, take notes and share everything with Mom.  You can be her coach, moderator, motivator and mentor.  Help her every way you can, you won't regret it, not one single minute.  Not one minute helping our mothers out will go unnoticed.  ;) 

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I don't know what I'm looking for. I'm just frustrated. I was hoping to have someone who would go through this with me; not have to babysit her or have someone who isn't even bothering to read it on the first day!!! 

Oh well. I do love her. :)

She is an awesome mom. But she is making me nuts. 

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  • Moderators

I don't know what I'm looking for. I'm just frustrated. I was hoping to have someone who would go through this with me; not have to babysit her or have someone who isn't even bothering to read it on the first day!!! 

Oh well. I do love her. :)

She is an awesome mom. But she is making me nuts. 

 

You can't do this for her. Print out the meal template and the rules for her, maybe give her a copy of It Starts With Food, and then let her do her thing. Even if she doesn't really do a Whole30, maybe some of the information will seep in and she'll make some changes.

 

I think it's hardest when it's the people we love the most that we can't get to do what we know would be best for them. All you can really do is do the best Whole30 you can do, and hope that seeing your results will help to get her onboard at some point.

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I agree with Shannon,  we can't do this for anyone else.   The only people I make exceptions for ....parents.  If they want help.....I give it.   The next day, "I can do it myself"...that's okay, too.

 

She said she was in.  Think of it as good practice when the roles change as time marches on... you may have to run or jump when they need or want anything.  Help her today.  RN is a stressful job.  I'd make some 3X5 flashcards with the key rules for her purse or lunch bag.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I love this thread. My mom and I have been commiserating for years over our poor health. When I came upon the W30 and told her I was doing it (and that I thought she should do it with me), she was all, "I'm in!"

 

Then she read the rules of the program. "No cheese? Not even low fat cheese? Oh, no. I can give up bread, but I won't give up dairy. No way."

 

This is why you're 60lbs overweight, have high cholesterol and blood pressure, and bad liver enzymes, mom. SMH. All you can do is encourage them, and not hold it against them when they make you crazy!!

 

It's really not that bad doing it on your own. You're on what, Day 10 or 12 now, tricializ? How's it going?

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I so totally get where you are coming from.  I am in a somewhat similar situation with my MIL.  I went on a vent in another post...think I might have been in the Kill All the Things phase...

 

We are living with my in-laws right now and are sharing a kitchen.  When the hubby and I sat down with MIL to explain that we would be fixing our own foods for awhile (usually I cooked dinner 4 nights and she cooked 3) and that if possible we would like to have one shelf in the refrigerator be for our compliant foods...she really wanted to be on board.  She has been a yo yo dieter and in the "fat is the devil" camp for a very long time and has never really been successful at losing weight, and needs/wants to.  Their diet prior to me taking over meals some meals and still on the nights she cooks was fairly typical SAD.  Hubby and I were what I would call "clean" about 80% of the time, but not primal.

 

Anyway...explained all the rules, offered to let her read the book....wrote things down.  All in all seemed like a good talk.  She asked if I would prep breakfast and lunch for her too since I was going to be doing for hubby and myself, and I agreed.  Even if I had wanted to say no, I don't feel like I could as they are sharing their home with us while we search for our own (easier said than done).

 

I don't mind the actually cooking and prepping for more than myself and my hubby.  It is exhausting after a full work day to cook a full meal, plus sides for the non compliant family members, and then to add in extra work on my cook ahead days preparing food for an extra person, but I enjoy cooking and with their generosity it was a small request.  What I do/did mind, is that after asking me to go through said extra work and saying she understands the diet and wants to know more, and will read the book...she still hasn't read the book I loaned her, and beyond the food I am prepping she is not being compliant.  Diet coke in the evening "now I only have one"...cream in her coffee in the morning "but I stopped using equal" ((*shudder* and a small victory hallelujah!!))...and goodness only knows what kind of extra snacks she has at work during the day.  On top of that I have picked up dinner 7 nights a week, as throwing a handful of sugar into otherwise healthy spaghetti sauce is a normal thing for her to do...her mom did it so she does too not even thinking about it (originally when she said she was in we were going to continue to share meal duties for dinner that became my responsibility this month as subtly as possible). 

 

So all that being said, I totally get your frustration.  Beyond my almost mental breakdown about it the other day...I blame Aunt Flo and wanting to Kill All The Things...I dearly adore her and I am trying to remind myself that at least the food I am cooking for her and the family I KNOW is healthy and nutritious. And that she isn't trying to be malicious or sabotage me, it is simply a lack of understanding and habit on her part. I feel better about it when I remind myself of that, and for my own sanity I have now drawn the line that once this is over I will not be continuing to provide pre-prepped breakfast and lunch for her, and dinner will return to a shared duty (I plan on having emergency food in the freezer so if she whips out a SAD staple that the rest of the family loves...I can still eat) (And hopefully we will have our own place sometime in the soonish future...house hunting is HARD!)

 

Keep your chin up and remember that you are doing this for you...and even small victories are just that...victories!!!!  We can do it!

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