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Hi guys!

 

I am currently on Day 12, and I cannot believe I have been 12 days off chocolate and dessert :P 

 

Recently I posted one of my Whole 30 meals on Facebook (salmon with sweet potatoes and broccoli), and a friend who's a doctor commented on my post. He told me that there is no scientific evidence behind the whole Paleo/ Whole 30 diet, and directed me to this article:

 

http://www.livescience.com/49276-whole-30-health-claims.html

 

While I am still 200% committed to my goal, I am sure many of you guys have met naysayers or people who just try to tell you everything about why this is not "legit".

 

Any suggestions on what I can do in future? They are still my friends after all; but it makes me frustrated having to handle all these opinions everyday at every meal, and sometimes it does sway my own confidence levels.

 

Thanks in advance guys (:

 

xx

Mel

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With folks like this, you could say something like the following:

Thank you for your concern. This isn't a permanent way of eating: it's a 30 day elimination diet based on lots of research on foods that tend to cause inflammation, poor digestive health and negative psychological response. It's important to me to find out what foods make me feel good vs. make me feel bad. I'm getting plenty of nutrition from the protein, vegetables, fruit and healthy fats on the program. 

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someone who looks at salmon with sweet potatoes and broccoli and claims it is an unhealthy fad has zero credibility in my opinion. Would they have said the same thing without a "whole30 label" on it?

 

If you want to keep these friends, I would just politely ask they refrain from commenting on your food. If the feedback you are getting on social media is negative, you might also want to consider sharing your meals on another forum instead (like this one!) where you can get some support.

 

Sometimes friends in the real world will perceive meal photos like this as judgement of their meals. Justified or not it might help to be a little sensitive to that: their comments are 99% about them, only 1% (maybe) about you.

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That was really fast- thanks @GFChris and @missmary! 

 

You're right- I suppose to a certain extent they may be insecure about their own diets, and became defensive. I have stopped counting the number of times I explain to a friend/ family member/ stranger why I'm eating what I'm eating. 

 

To me it really doesn't make sense why he'd say that- how can salmon/ broccoli/ sweet potatoes be bad for anyone? It does get out of hand sometimes when I'm in a group setting, because then I have 10 opinions in a room- and it is so frustrating haha.

 

Beyond the physical changes, I feel the whole30 DEFINITELY trains you mentally- I cannot imagine how we've all come this far!

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I have been eating Whole30-style for more than 5 years. Every doctor I have seen over these years has told me to keep doing whatever I am doing because it is working. None of them actually know the details of what I am eating, but they have seen the results in my body composition and blood work, etc. I am 57 years old. The truth is that I won the genetic lottery; my father lived to 93 and my mother is now 88. But I did not just win the genetic lottery. I dropped from 30 percent body fat to about 10 percent body fat after 15 months of Whole30 eating and I have maintained the same weight since. I am the strongest I have ever been in my life right now and have good reason to believe I will be even stronger next year. And there are 1000s of stories just like mine. 

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We have to create a plan to deal with the mind warp that others throw at us.  Most of our friends are not left in suspense about what we're having for dinner unless we bring it to their awareness.  I simply keep my Whole 30 to myself unless they come to me with real interest.

 

I have been caught between backhanded compliments that are completely overreaching and totally underachieving.  If they edge up against snarky...I might tell them that death from lack of Cheetos seems unlikely.  I do tell them that proteins, vegetables and fats are my "best friends".

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I know I'm just echoing MissMary (and Mel) here, but it's really hard to understand how someone can look at a plate of salmon, broccoli and sweet potatoes and think "fad" or really anything negative. And since the LiveScience article really says nothing of substance, it's kind of funny that it might be seen as some kind of argument against doing a W30.

 

I think that there's something really powerful about making your goals - and path - public, since that can help so much with accountability, etc. But as soon as you put a label on that path, you're going to get reactions, many of which will be based on ignorance and outdated conventional wisdom (plus carry the emotional baggage of the person reacting....). Personally I found it easier to keep the Whole30 label within my family and not even use the word "paleo" outside the home unless someone expresses sincere interest in how I eat. Actually, even then I stay away from labels, though I have recommended the W30 in some of those cases.

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I never wanted to defend or explain what I was eating to anyone; I didn't see where it was anyone else's concern so long as I wasn't putting something harmful into my body. I simply eat what I eat, I say no thank you (without an explanation) when I'm offered something I do not want. I let my results speak quietly for themselves. If someone doesn't like what I'm doing, so be it. I'm doing this for me and my health, not for the approval and admiration of anyone else.

I agree with others who have said to use this forum for support of your whole30; here you will get support and not judgement or criticism (hopefully ). If you go mainstream social media with your food choices, you will wind up in the position of explaining and defending your choices as often as not. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but just be prepared for it.

And if someone questions you as to why you are or are not eating something, ask them why THEY are or are not eating something. Just be sure you are armed with some good information (It Starts With Food!!).

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Thanks guys for all your replies- they all made me feel much better, and more prepared to handle any negativity around me now! It is always helpful to have a community you can turn to, and I'm thankful for ours!

Indeed, I will probably be posting less on mainstream media now to avoid having to explain or defend my choices. I did it initially to encourage my friends to start their own journey as well.

With regards to labeling, it is true that when I tend to mention "paleo" or "whole30", suddenly everyone has something to say at the table. What makes me frustrated is that most of them are passing judgement on what they haven't tried or seen for themselves.

Anyway, I'm on Day 13 now- and although it has been the longest 13 days of my life; I am still loving this journey and excited to get my family onboard someday!

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I know I've told this story before, but it's so funny (at least to me) that I'm compelled to tell it again. 

 

I was explaining to my sister-in-law what Whole 30 was and that she should try it.  I told her all the things that she would have to eliminate like dairy and grains, which include oats, wheat, corn, etc........  When I finished, the first question out of her mouth was, "You mean I can't have butter on my toast"?  It made me laugh so hard!!!  She just couldn't even grasp the concept of it.  Anyway, when people say things about it that are weird or funny, I just think, "Bless their heart", and then I laugh.

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  • 11 months later...

I had a similar discouraging situation today actually. I was texting a close friend of mine complaining about the way I felt today (not great, because of nausea and a headache) and was saying that 'the magic' better start happening soon!

 

She then told me about a whole bunch of research which was done by the BBC on 'clean eating' and 'fad diets based on clean eating', saying that most of these are actually false, eliminating whole food groups is just restriction and can't work on everyone the same way, and that about a third of big-name instagrammers who post things relating to clean eating actually have eating disorders themselves. 

 

I did rebut these statements (there is no clearcut definition of 'clean eating' so they could be talking about a variety of things, this is not a fad diet because it's only saying I need to eat real food, I'm not eliminating these foods forever, just for 30 days so I can slowly re-introduce them, etc, and that the instagrammers with the ED may be on some other programme, whole30 probs has nothing to do with them). 

 

However, I felt really sad at the same time. I had just gone to her for a little moan about how I was feeling, and ended up having to get pretty defensive about what I was doing, instead of getting some mild encouragement. It's a real shame that happened :(

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I don't use the terms Clean vs. Dirty eating.   Good girl/bad girl.   Actually, it's placing moral judgments on food and saying things like "I was really naughty today" is a rather childish way of describing a relationship with food.

 

Clean food connotes all kinds of things in the brain.  I'm helping someone with a W30 who believes that all meat is dirty.  One man's dirt is another man's source of health and healing.  

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