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When you can't get to 30


SusanB.

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I have done two successful 30s in the past, and intended to do another this January. Never did get reintroduction right (only got to dairy and rice, which were both OK as far as I could tell), so I was hoping to make it this time.

 

Unfortunately, life had other plans. Practical considerations (with houseguests, travel, illness, and attending a weekend-long conference in a hotel that doesn't have mini fridges in the rooms) got the better of me. I have come to a peace and moved on without getting too discouraged. Picked back up where I left off each time, when I was able. The extraordinary stresses of trying to remain compliant in the above situations were just too much for me to work with - and I know myself and my propensity to throw the baby out with the bathwater (do people still say that?) when I'm discouraged that I can't do something "perfectly". I am 43 and contending with a lifetime's worth of disordered eating, if that makes any difference.

 

I've come to the conclusion this time around that I need to maintain the enormous changes I've instituted - in terms of cooking my own meals, eating template-balanced meals, bringing proper meals to work, avoiding sweets and processed foods. Those parts of this process are not something I should give up - not after 30 days, not really ever.

 

I understand that half-assing it is not Whole30. One of the things that speaks to me the most about this program is that I take to its black-and-white nature. I maintain that what is doable for me at this moment in my life is that I can stay compliant when cooking my own meals. I can attempt to make the best choices I can when that is not an option. I can choose to get right back on program after any deviation. This is approximately one billion (give or take a million or two) times better than the food choices I have been making for years, and I think that this approach will serve me.

 

Here is my question (sorry, I'm long-winded by nature): how should I handle things when I know I'm in it for less-than-30? I guess it's a question of strategy: do I treat these periods as "whole 10" or something similar? Do I consider myself off-plan and not count days at all?

 

I understand why 30 is a significant number, and I do very much intend to get to 30 and nail the reintroduction this time - but looking at my calendar I don't see an upcoming stretch of days in the foreseeable future. My knee-jerk reaction is to say [expletive] it and go back to my horribly terrible no good very bad S.A.D. - and I certainly don't want to do THAT.

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Hi Susan;

 

First, I've moved your post to the After Whole30 section Off Track/Staying on Track as you're choosing not to do a Whole30 at this time.  No judgement, it's just a better fit for this topic.

 

As far as how you treat this time, it would be my suggestion to not count days and to just do the best that you can do until you can do a full Whole30.  You can call it a Whole10 if that's what you want to do but really, you're riding your own bike, which is what we WANT you to do between Whole30's.  You've laid out your rules

(I've come to the conclusion this time around that I need to maintain the enormous changes I've instituted - in terms of cooking my own meals, eating template-balanced meals, bringing proper meals to work, avoiding sweets and processed foods. Those parts of this process are not something I should give up - not after 30 days, not really ever.)

 

If you choose to be more lenient when eating out or travelling, just make sure that you're using what you learned from your past whole30's and whatever re-intros you managed to make the best choices. Dont' throw the baby out... be mindful and diligent until such time as you choose to take on another 30!

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I've done three Whole30s now, and I think I've figured out what works best for me outside of the 30 (easy to say, harder to implement, of course):

 

Meal 1: Always compliant at home. Even if I were invited out to a fancy brunch where I might want to go off road, I would still eat a template breakfast that morning, and then brunch would count toward lunch.

 

Meal 2: Always compliant at home. Every other weekend when we have my stepson, I'm willing to go off road if we eat lunch out (but compliant at the house). When out, I still try to make the best (mostly compliant) choices.

 

Meal 3: Almost always compliant at home. On special occasions (company's coming) I may go off road to make our fabulous made-from-scratch lasagna. We do like to go out to dinner once or twice a week (need a break from all that cooking), so I make the best choices I can while out for a "regular" dinner. If it's a real special dinner out, I relax and enjoy myself without worrying.

 

Snacking: NO. Never.

 

Dessert: NO. Mostly. No more nightly "Oh, it's just a couple fancy dark chocolate squares -- how bad can that be?". No more dessert items kept in the house at all. On special occasions (not regular dinners out), I may indulge if we are eating out or making a big dinner for company. But special occasions are one-night-only. The entire month of December is not considered a special occasion.

 

Traveling: I will do my best to remain as compliant as possible at as many meals as possible, with the understanding that it's not always going to work out perfectly. If snacking is necessary while on the road, it must be compliant snacking. Come prepared!

 

Let's see how it goes!

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it would be my suggestion to not count days and to just do the best that you can do until you can do a full Whole30.  You can call it a Whole10 if that's what you want to do but really, you're riding your own bike, which is what we WANT you to do between Whole30's.  You've laid out your rules

 

You know, I hadn't thought of it that way: I've laid out my rules. I like that.

 

This is the exact kind of thing I needed to hear - a reminder about riding my own bike. Thank you.

 

I will continue to look at my calendar and try to find a time for a proper 30!

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@SpunkyBug, I like your rules.

 

Given that I work best with bright lines and not too much leeway, I'm going to do my best to write them out so I can't pretend that one rule or the other isn't really a rule or something (I would totally do that).

 

...as soon as I get home from the conference I go to tomorrow night.

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Thanks! I should add that for Meal 2 I am always compliant at home AND at work -- I bring my lunch in every day. Again, only on special occasions do I go off-road, like when the boss treats the whole team out for a thank-you lunch, and then I still try to make good choices.  

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How familiar are you with the concept of paleo eating outside of the Whole30 program? The Whole30 is really a clean paleo template, with a reintro period and also there is the avoiding of foods that can trigger emotional/addictive eating patterns. It is a wonderful tool and it sounds like you've learned so much from it.

 

So, maybe it is time to just follow a paleo diet. Not "Whole(insert day number here)." You know, like how vegetarians and vegans just eat their style of eating because they firmly believe in it? That's a lifestyle and it sounds like you're ready to live the lifestyle. People adjust paleo to fit them. Some people follow paleo 80 or 90 percent of the time, and enjoy non-paleo foods or paleo sweets occasionally. Some people live by it 100% of the time, or do so with added honey/paleo treats. Some people feel dairy or rice benefit them and include them in their regular diet. And then there are those who really dig the very low carb version of paleo. So what fits you the best? 

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Fairly familiar - like many people with disordered eating patterns, I have made it a life-long habit to read up about diet and nutrition and gather as much information as possible. 

 

I was doing fairly well, physically, following the Primal plan - less-strict Paleo, allowing for dairy and for 80% success to be considered successful. But mentally, it was difficult - having to think so much about what I could and couldn't do in terms of trade-offs was exhausting. I think that's why I like the Whole30 so much: no leeway.

 

But yes, no matter how I slice it I do feel better when I eliminate sweets, processed foods, and grains. All the rest is just different ways of dressing up the same facts.

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After my first 2 Whole30s, I followed a pattern similar to SpunkyBug. If I'm at home and cooking for myself, I'm 100% complaint. If I go out to eat (which my family also does 1-2 times a week), I choose as close to compliant foods as I can, but I don't request to the waiter that they cook things differently. If there's a little butter on my salmon, I'll be OK (physically that doesn't affect me too badly). If there's a little bit of added sugar in my mango salsa, that doesn't affect me psychologically. 

 

I also have a 20-year history of disordered eating patterns that continue to rear their ugly head. If my mind goes to a "what the hell" place, I can really, really go off the rails. And then the self-loathing begins. The W30 to me is more psychological than anything. If I stay close to template, it is better for me psychologically. I need the restrictions, as you seem to as well. But the real-life challenges of having to eat out for social reasons really get to me. I'm a perfectionist like you seem to be, so rather than throwing in the towel because you know you'll be eating out in the next 30 days, just choose as carefully as possible during that time frame, and stick to plan in the meantime. I wouldn't call it a W10 either, because that likely won't satisfy you and you'll be more likely to say "eff it".

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I think part of it is dealing with the disordered eating, which no eating plan can really address. I know all about that as well, and am still working on it. I took a course with the Institute for the Psychology of Eating recently, and really liked it, but I am still working it as these things take time. Maybe looking into new tools for managing the disordered part could help you bridge the gap here. 

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  • 5 months later...

I've done three Whole30s now, and I think I've figured out what works best for me outside of the 30 (easy to say, harder to implement, of course):

 

Meal 1: Always compliant at home. Even if I were invited out to a fancy brunch where I might want to go off road, I would still eat a template breakfast that morning, and then brunch would count toward lunch.

 

Meal 2: Always compliant at home. Every other weekend when we have my stepson, I'm willing to go off road if we eat lunch out (but compliant at the house). When out, I still try to make the best (mostly compliant) choices.

 

Meal 3: Almost always compliant at home. On special occasions (company's coming) I may go off road to make our fabulous made-from-scratch lasagna. We do like to go out to dinner once or twice a week (need a break from all that cooking), so I make the best choices I can while out for a "regular" dinner. If it's a real special dinner out, I relax and enjoy myself without worrying.

 

Snacking: NO. Never.

 

Dessert: NO. Mostly. No more nightly "Oh, it's just a couple fancy dark chocolate squares -- how bad can that be?". No more dessert items kept in the house at all. On special occasions (not regular dinners out), I may indulge if we are eating out or making a big dinner for company. But special occasions are one-night-only. The entire month of December is not considered a special occasion.

 

Traveling: I will do my best to remain as compliant as possible at as many meals as possible, with the understanding that it's not always going to work out perfectly. If snacking is necessary while on the road, it must be compliant snacking. Come prepared!

 

Let's see how it goes!

 

Love this! That's exactly how I try to maintain my "Whole30 lifestyle" as well. And occasionally I will do 2-3 weeks of fully compliant Whole30 rules. Sometimes when I travel I let myself indulge a bit more, so that I can enjoy the culture of the place I'm visiting. 

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I have done two successful 30s in the past, and intended to do another this January. Never did get reintroduction right (only got to dairy and rice, which were both OK as far as I could tell), so I was hoping to make it this time.

 

Unfortunately, life had other plans. Practical considerations (with houseguests, travel, illness, and attending a weekend-long conference in a hotel that doesn't have mini fridges in the rooms) got the better of me. I have come to a peace and moved on without getting too discouraged. Picked back up where I left off each time, when I was able. The extraordinary stresses of trying to remain compliant in the above situations were just too much for me to work with - and I know myself and my propensity to throw the baby out with the bathwater (do people still say that?) when I'm discouraged that I can't do something "perfectly". I am 43 and contending with a lifetime's worth of disordered eating, if that makes any difference.

 

I've come to the conclusion this time around that I need to maintain the enormous changes I've instituted - in terms of cooking my own meals, eating template-balanced meals, bringing proper meals to work, avoiding sweets and processed foods. Those parts of this process are not something I should give up - not after 30 days, not really ever.

 

I understand that half-assing it is not Whole30. One of the things that speaks to me the most about this program is that I take to its black-and-white nature. I maintain that what is doable for me at this moment in my life is that I can stay compliant when cooking my own meals. I can attempt to make the best choices I can when that is not an option. I can choose to get right back on program after any deviation. This is approximately one billion (give or take a million or two) times better than the food choices I have been making for years, and I think that this approach will serve me.

 

Here is my question (sorry, I'm long-winded by nature): how should I handle things when I know I'm in it for less-than-30? I guess it's a question of strategy: do I treat these periods as "whole 10" or something similar? Do I consider myself off-plan and not count days at all?

 

I understand why 30 is a significant number, and I do very much intend to get to 30 and nail the reintroduction this time - but looking at my calendar I don't see an upcoming stretch of days in the foreseeable future. My knee-jerk reaction is to say [expletive] it and go back to my horribly terrible no good very bad S.A.D. - and I certainly don't want to do THAT.

 

Personally, I say do the "whole 10s." I'm doing the same thing and finding it very effective. Basically, I try to maintain Whole30 as a lifestyle, rather than a set of days. Then for celebrations or travel I don't worry about it much, but I try to jump back on for 2-4 weeks in between those things. Definitely better than not making an effort at all!

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  • 9 months later...

I'm in my first W30. I'll be in a social situation with conferences beginning on day 25. I'm going to give it my all but am expecting a couple times of caving to a glass of wine or vodka gimlet. This thread has helped me see that's ok! It's my plan to work. I've been 90% GF for almost 8 years. I don't have sugar issues...or food addiction issues. I have dairy issues. I mean serious!!! I'm on day 15 and it's still hard. I miss my nachos...sour cream...Brie! But I feel so much better without the dairy...and I want to keep it to a minimum if not out all together. So this first time will at least be W25 with the intent of doing a complete W30 the next time. I'm trying to focus on NSV's also. I mean...I'm hoping to lose some weight since I've seriously tried for 2 1/2 months to lose just 10 pounds. But I am noticing the other markers to keep a positive attitude in case the scale doesn't show much of a victory. 

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You're definitely welcome to manage yourself in whatever manner you like, however i will bring to your attention that everyone in this thread has already completed at least one full, by the books, whole30.  You have about 10 days to figure out a solution to how you can not 'cave' to booze. You're an adult, if you choose to drink, then you choose to drink, but you also chose to do a 30 day program and you do owe yourself to honor your commitments.  There are MANY threads on here of tips and tricks for having social engagements and not going off plan... club soda with olives and a twist is one we hear a lot, so you don't stand out as not drinking, but are still on plan.  If you do choose to have those drinks, call it a decision, not 'caving'.  You're stronger than to 'cave' to peer pressure or the siren song of booze... if you want it, drink it, but own it.

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Yes, SugarcubeOD, you are right. It is a choice. And I need to figure out what my motives are for doing the Whole 30 and making the effort to finish what I started. My eating habits were already pretty good except for the dairy. Cutting that out has made a huge difference in how I feel, even though I still miss it. What it comes down to is how badly I WANT to finish it. What I do know is this...I already have a start date for my second TRUE W30 without any footnotes. Thank you for giving me some things to think seriously about in the next 10 days. 

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