My first Whole30 NSV's!! :)

[katieblue]

I DID IT!!!!! I completed my first Whole 30!!!!

 

Here are my NSV's:

- I went from a compulsive scale-stepper (2-3x/day) to not weighing myself for 30 entire days.

- I did weigh myself this morning, and realized I gained weight, and you know what? I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.

- I am hungry in the mornings when I wake up!

- I (mostly) stopped logging my food! (I still have caught myself trying to calculate mentally how many calories I'm eating - but this is going to take a little while to completely resolve, after doing it for years)

- I realized homemade condiments and dressings are easy and absolutely delicious.

- I DISCOVERED CARNITAS!

- I realized tea and coffee can be amazing without sugar - and absolutely decadent with coconut milk!

- AND I DON'T EVEN MISS SUGAR. My sugar dragon is asleep. I have the occasional craving for cake, but it's WAY better than it used to be, with dying for something sweet after every meal.

- I stopped snacking!! No randomly wandering into the kitchen and eating out of boredom. I have only had one snack during this entire 30 days, and it was raw vegetables.

- I've realized a possible reaction to FODMAPs which may improve digestion in the future.

- I am WAY kinder to myself. I may not love the person in the mirror yet, but I don't get disgusted with her or hate her when I see her. And I actually want to take care of her, not tear her down for being revolting.

- To that end, I am way more positive in general!

 

For anyone who has been chronically restricting food or being unkind to themselves, who has anxiety or depression or body issues, I would absolutely encourage giving this a try. It has really made a world of difference for me emotionally.

[LadyM]

This is so beautiful!  Congratulations!

 

And you know what? The journey of food freedom and body love continues! So thrilled for you! Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom.

[katieblue]

Thank you so much, LadyM! I appreciate the encouragement!! This forum and the support from all the wonderful people here has been ssssooo helpful throughout the process!

[Carlaccini]

Way to go!!!!!

 

I never tire of reading how people totally transform their life / outlook / heal themselves through food.

[katieblue]

Thank you!! It's really exciting and encouraging - and I would definitely suggest this to others who had my same issues!!

[Marjanill]

Way to go, Katie!

[katieblue]

Thank you!! And you, too!!

[katieblue]

Okay, I HAVE to add this on here, because this is an ENORMOUS NSV in disguise!

Today, I was making the carrot cake I'm bringing to Easter dinner (completely non-compliant, but I wasn't planning on partaking). Anyway, I got some frosting on my hand, and just like that, the sugar dragon opened her eyes and I slipped right into automatic licking it off. Before I knew it, one taste turned into two, and then eating it off the beaters, then out of the bowl. I could feel it sitting heavily in my stomach, and I kept telling myself to stop, that this wasn't the plan, that this would screw up my reintro. But I didn't stop until it was all gone and I felt thoroughly nauseous and ballooned out. And then I got really upset with myself - but then I remembered some of the things I've read on here. I remembered the kind words of mods to others who have gone off the rails. I remembered that I am an adult and that this was my choice. I didn't HAVE to eat it. The frosting and the sugar dragon don't control me. Even if it felt like I didn't have a choice, I did. I chose to make the cake and be around it, and I chose to keep eating it. And then I moved on. I drank a lot of water, I ate a compliant dinner as planned, and I went for a walk. My head is pounding now and I still feel bloated and gross. But I feel SO happy that I'm not hating myself. I feel more peaceful than I ever have for bingeing on anything. It is what it is. It happened, and I'm moving on. I have a new Whole 30 planned for April 1, and until then, I'll continue on making good choices, not ones that make me feel like this.

And I think my sugar dragon feels sick, too, because I didn't want any dessert after dinner.

[Kcrokus]

I love love love ALL of this! It's like you wrote down all my concerns/feelings/experiences! I'm on day 17 of my first whole30 and food has been all I could think about for maybe 2 decades? I finally feel some sense of freedom and it is amazing. I do worry about the lack of rules post re-intro and am considering just continuing on after 30 days, just for safety and comforts sake. I KNOW I will have an experiment similar to your frosting/cake, and I hope I can handle it as gracefully as you. If I can take away one thing from all this, it will be the ability to realign myself with whole30 rules after life happens...because I know it will (and I want to be able to let it happen too)! Thank you for sharing everything!

[katieblue]

Thank you so much for your feedback!! I shared it because I hoped it would help someone to relate. Food is not something we should use for self-harm (really, nothing is), but to nourish us and help us stay healthy and strong. And the Whole 30 is a great way to use some rigid rules to start feeling the psychological/emotional difference from clearing out all the processed crap. I launched right into a second round at the beginning of this month because I don't think I was quite ready yet, either, and neither was my body - so definitely trust yourself and go with your gut as far as extending! After that, it might take some hard work (I still binge/overeat but I don't hate myself after and I know I can do better) but you will get there. I wish you so much luck!!