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SueF - Post Whole30


Whole30Sue

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Finished my second whole30. It feels so good to have gained some control.

I still have serious health issues. Still have a long way to go, but I'm on right path.

My health goals.

1 - Cancer. Some people are blamers and blame everyone but themselves when something goes wrong, I'm the opposite, I blame myself for anything and everything. I'm five years out since breast cancer diagnosis. (Did the works: chemo, mastectomy, radiation.) I'm still doing quarterly injections as prevention treatment, putting me and keeping me in menopause. Here is where it gets tough to talk about: My goal is to be doing everything I can to get into good health and prevent a reoccurrence. If it reoccurs, there is no cure, just management. So if it does happen, I want to not have the guilt that I wasn't taking care of myself and it is my fault. Make sense? I'm not scared. I don't worry about recurrence on a frequent basis. My oldest daughter has Spina Bifida, paralyzed from the hips down. She needs me the rest of her life. I need to be here. I've had two friends die with recurrences in the last few years. I know it can happen. If it were to happen to me, I don't want the guilt that I wasn't doing everything possible to make sure I am here for her.

2 - High blood pressure. I've had high blood pressure and been on medication for years. I would love to get it under control such that I no longer need the meds.

3 - Sleep apnea. I believe my weight is causing this, and the sleep disturbances are causing my exhaustion and my brain feeling so foggy. Struggle with compliance in using the CPAP machine. Lack of good sleep, my body having to flood itself with adrenaline to wake itself just enough to clear the blocked breathing passage, is causing much stress to my mind and body.

4 - Lymphedema. Lymph nodes were removed during my mastectomy and now my left arm tends to feel strange, off and on through the day. Heavy. Fluid. It swells very mildly. I keep it under compression during the day. I used to wrap it every night but after my whole60 last year it felt so much better, I stopped the night time wrapping. My arm is the first thing that feels better during a whole30. In fact, I still stare at and wiggle my left thumb several times a day, it feels so much better with this way of eating.

5 - Body image. This is another tough one. Breast reconstruction failed miserably for me. Long story, involved emergency surgery, five months of caring for an open wound... Wow. Didn't expect tears to well up while writing this. So my body looks butchered. Scars all over my chest and back. I wear a prosthetic breast on one side. I hate it. First thing I want to get off when I come home. The imbalance causes my bra to dig into me because the weight is so different from one side to the other. If I could get to a healthy weight, I would get smaller on the other side and the balance would be better. I still have reconstruction options but cannot consider putting my body through that right now. If I felt healthier, I might consider it. There is a possible future that does not include a prosthetic.

I guess those are some majorly huge goals. So understanding that it truly does START WITH FOOD, is where I need to keep my focus.

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M1: coffee with coconut milk blended and a larabar (I know, not best choice.)

M2: chicken, carrots, spinach and butternut squash

Tonight I have a meeting at a restaurant. Not sure what I will be eating. If they don't have anything that looks right, I'll eat when I get home.

Next couple of days. I have fajita meat to cook up (pre-seasoned, so it has some non-complaint stuff in it, but very little.) I also have plans for a sausage and cabbage dish. The sausage didn't have any sugar, I was surprised. Going to try making roast beets using nom nom's recipe. Asparagus, broccoli. Ground beef I haven't decided what to do with yet.

I really enjoyed my meatloaf muffins this week. I ate the leftovers for days. I mixed a copy cat of McCormick meatloaf seasoning with the beef and some eggs, little bit of almond flour, some water and some Tessamae's ketchup. Was very good as a leftover, sliced and fried up with some coconut oil with a fried eggs over it. So maybe I will do another meatloaf.

So I will be reintroducing pre-seasoned meats this week. Bacon, fajitas, sausage.

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I didn't weigh myself before this whole30. My sugar dragon was ruling my world, all I cared about was getting the sugar consumption under some semblance of control. Now that I have accomplished that achievement (Yea!) I am looking at my weight. I remember a number from about 6 months ago when I was weighed at a doctor's office, well, I weighed myself yesterday and I am 12 pounds less than that number. That was encouraging.

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Had a meeting at a Mexican food restaurant last night. Thirty year class reunion planning. We got the work part over, took about an hour, and then everyone started ordering their meals. I'm post whole30, I could have gotten something, there was really only one thing somewhat paleo, a salad with grilled chicken. I would have had to ask them to remove the cheese and the sour cream, but it didn't sound appetizing at all. So I said my goodbyes. I like that my arm feels better. I want to keep it that way.

M3: hamburger patty, carrots, avocado, mayo mixed with smoked paprika.

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There was caramel color in the sausage last night, sugar. Don't seem to be having any trouble with it today. My upper arm is hurting, but I had my compression sleeve positioned incorrectly so that it was digging into it. This has happened before. Pain should subside.

Today was all compliant.

M1: coffee with coconut milk, larabar at 4:30am, woke at 4:00

M2: chicken and apple sausage, green pepper, fried eggs

M3: tuna with mayo, zucchini soup

M4: meatballs, asparagus

Made homemade ranch dressing today to take with me eating out next week and mayo, zucchini soup for the week.

Found my fitbit and put it on charge. Small move towards adding some exercise focus.

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Woke at 3:45am and couldn't go back to sleep. Tried to go back to sleep on the couch. Didn't work. Waited until 5am to have coffee and a larabar. Did some housework and then got ready for church. Luckily I looked at facebook and saw that Sunday school and the church service times were flipped today for a special musical worship service. I some how missed this announcement. So I decided not to go since I missed the service. I co-teach a special needs adult class and today was the start of my two months off, a needed break. So here I was with all this extra relaxed Sunday morning time. So I decided to have a second cup of coffee. And a second larabar.

Later when I was straightening up the living room I saw my coffee cup on the end table that needed to be taken to the kitchen. When I picked it up I was surprised to see that I had drank very little of that second cup. But I had eaten all of the second larabar.

Darn it. Darn it! I really really do not want to face it, but just days in to my post whole30, I see I have an issue with larabars. Darn.

I know this behavior can sabotage all that I have accomplished. Sugar is my biggest issue. No larabars tomorrow. One day at a time.

M1: coffee with coconut milk, larabar. Some of a second cup and all of second larabar.

M2: shrimp boil pot. Shrimp, sausage, and potatoes. Quite spicy.

M3: grilled fajitas meat, carmalized onions, guacamole, couple of bites of mango

Have lots of yummy protein for my lunches this week. Left over meatballs, shrimp, and grilled chicken fajitas.

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M1: coffee and a banana

M2: salad with grilled shrimp and avocado at restaurant. Brought my own homemade ranch dressing.

M3: breafast egg casserole with chorizo and asparagus. Plantain pancakes. Banana.

Still not ideal. Banana with coffee is just a step better than the larabar. It was easier on whole30, but I'm making progress. I cooked up a breakfast casserole and some plantain pancakes for tomorrow. They were so good they were also my supper. Made a shrimp salad for lunch tomorrow.

Still need to find a spice combination for ranch dressing that I actually like. So far the combinations I have tried haven't hit the mark. I like the homemade mayo and coconut milk base for it. Usually tasted too strong of parsley. Will keep trying.

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M1: egg/chorizo/asparagus casserole. Plantain pancake with few slices of banana and dollop of coconut butter

M2: little amount of shrimp and mango (packed snack in cooler because I knew a real lunch would be late)

M3: two pieces of sausage, meatballs, mayo with smoked paprika, zucchinni soup (late, around 4pm)

M4: plan to have fajita salad

I'm trying to get the idea in my head that this is where the true work is going to take place. I've done a whole60 and a whole30. But it's the one day at a time, nothing special, just every day life, that I have to focus on to make the real magic happen. I'm feeling good that instead of spiraling into sugar after a week or two of larabars, that I'm turning it around. My health still needs a lot of time to recover.

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My iPad died so I've missed a few days of logging.

 

Wednesday

M1: coffee, egg/ chorizo casserole

M2: chipotle lettuce caritas, grilled peppers, salsa, guacamole

M3: steak, sweet potato fries, roasted broccoli, sauteed mushrooms

 

Thursday

M1: coffee, plain plantain pancake

M2: left over chicken fajita meat with leftover veggie

Larabar

M3: sausage and left over veggies

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I've been spending any of my free time reading through this forum. I still need the constant focus.

 

Found a few statements made by other whole30ers that have stuck with me. Paraphrased...

 

- This is my second whole30, and this time I'm not looking back.

 

- I already know what it feels like to eat unhealthy, I want to know what it feels like to eat for my health.

 

Still getting used to this new Microsoft tablet, keyboard and features are so different. Will have to type more later. Its getting challenging.

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M1: coffee, plantain pancake, fried eggs, chorizo casserole

M2: tuna, zucchini soup

M3: brisket with Tessamae BBQ sauce over a sweet potato, mayo with smoked paprika

 

My husband tried making a Texas BBQ'd brisket on the pit today for the first time. It turned out a little dry, but adding some sauce made it amazing. Look forward to lunch tomorrow.

 

Let my 14 yr old daughter have seven friends over to spend the night for a late birthday party. Oh my, what was I thinking. They were loud and squealing so late!

 

Need to make more zucchini soup, saves me on days that are challenging to get a veggie.

 

This way of eating is still far from being fully engrained in me. I'm still often tempted to go back to my old ways, especially since I still experience so much fatigue and utter exhaustion at times during the day, but I keep telling myself that it is going to take more than 30 or 60 days to heal. In fact, there are times that I almost feel worse, but I guess that may be expected too. I feel like my brain wants to fight the fatigue with sugar. I should finish my cancer recurrence prevention treatment in November, I'm hoping that when it is finished that maybe I will see a difference with energy, eventually.

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Still at it. I've had some cheese without any issues. The only time I had trouble was when I had too many cashews.

 

My mom was told yesterday by her doctor that he is pretty sure she has cancer in both breasts. She will have biopsies in a couple of weeks to confirm. This hit hard. Way too difficult to hear. It's my mom and it's the same kind of cancer that I had.

 

I almost just gave up and ate junk when I was feeling strong sadness and fear and confusion. Was a tough argument in my head.  I wanted sugar for some kind of chemical response in my brain that would make me feel better. But here I was wanting to turn to the very unhealthy food item that is causing so many problems in the first place. It was such conflicting feelings. Luckily I didn't give in.

 

Made nom nom paleo's Cracklin' Chicken this week. It is definitely a recipe I will repeat. My 14 yr old daughter wanted it as a snack after school the next day.

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Woke with terrible headache this morning at 4:30am.  My doctor has called them migraines in the past, but not sure if they really are.  They are rare, especially when eating clean. This morning was so bad that I was on the verge of throwing up for about an hour while I waited for medicine to kick in. Once I could move around without throwing up, my usual fix worked, I have to fill the tub with as hot of water as I can stand, and sit in as low as I can and get the back of my neck in the hot water.  Wasn't fun, but it only took a few minutes and the worst of it was over.  I will now have a lingering feeling of discomfort for a day or two, like the headache is still in the background, and a sense of wanting to be alone, more than usual. Leaves me feeling a little out of body.  Strange.

 

Now the question is, what caused it?  I know I am sensitive to caffeine.  The same amount at the same time everyday works.  I did have a cup of decaf in the afternoon twice in the past couple of weeks.  Or could it be the dairy I've added back in?  I had cheese over the last three days. I have never related the headaches to dairy.  Wonder if it could be it.  I've also had some dates.  Which is more sugar than I have been having.

 

Going to stop the afternoon decaf and the cheese, but these types of headaches are so rare for me, it is hard to pin down the cause.

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