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Stress at Home


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I am not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes. I am going through major stress at home trying to get my aging mother back in health. I decided to go back on Whole30 (3rd now) and I am 3 days in. I gained 10 pounds in the past 3-4 months and was feeling very down and overall very depressed and sad all the time. The only reason I did not gain more weight was that I managed to stick to my Crossfit workouts 3x week and the occasional yoga class. I still have physical symptoms from all the foods I ate to medicate myself, the usual lethargy, aches and pains and constantly feeling like I had a cold and low energy from the stress.

I am quite happy to have taken the plunge to do something for myself again but I still am feeling very depressed and sad. I have no intention of going off plan, my resolve is quite firm but I would like some advice on the foods I should be concentrating on for these moods. I know about starchy veggies, turkey and bananas. Are there any other foods that would help me? Is fish oil good for that? Should I take any other supplements or vitamins?

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First, I am so sorry you have been feeling depressed for so long. I hope you will start feeling a bit better soon.

I am not an whole30 expert but have read in the forum that mushrooms and walnuts are also a good choice, as is fat fish.

There are some scientific studies on the effect of fish oil. Some are positive, some are not. Good enough reason to try it yourself?.Also there are scientic studies in which  a lack of vitamine D is linked to depressieve symptoms (for example Hoogendijk WJ, Lips P, Dik MG, et al. Depression is associated with decreased 25-hydroxyvitamin D and increased parathyroid hormone levels in older adults. (2008) Arch Gen Psychiatry 65:508-512). There is some vitamine D in food (fat fish, eggs), but mostly it is prouced in your skin when the sun is shining. Good reason to go outside, also without protection of a sunscreen (which will reduce the production of vitamine D in your skin for 97,5%. .Also there is some evidence for te role of B-vitamines, especially B12, in depression and its treatment. B12 is found in meat, fish and eggs. So every whole30 meal is spot-on. 

A new line of research on food and depression is on the effect of probiotics - they seem to reduce depressive symptoms. The result are preliminary though. There are suppelement, but is is realy easy to make your own sauerkraut.

I wish you the best from a Sunny Holland, Jonette

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Hey kruddock - sorry to hear you're having a hard time...

You're right that turkey & bananas are good for yoou at this time in that they're high in tryptophan (the precursor for serotonin which is the happy hormone). Other things to include would be oily fish (like salmon & mackerel for instance - even outside of Whole30 the recommendation would be to eat oily fish twice a week... ), oysters, mushrooms & walnuts. Potatoes are also good, but starches come into play when eaten alongside these foods because of how the body processes them, leaving more of the tryptophan available for absorption.

You can also get a tryptophan supplement although it may be advisable to speak with your Dr before self prescribing this.... 

Sleep is also HUGELY important in treating the depression, so it's important you try to practice good sleep hygiene (easier said than done, I know), and yes, get some regular time out doors.

 

ETA: You could also eat a couple (literally 1 or 2) of brazil nuts each day, or add sardines to your food rotation - both are high in selenium which is also a mood enhancer.

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Hi-while only on day 12 of my whole30, I am unfortunately an expert in the other area of parent care stress. (Cared exclusively for my dad when he was dying of cancer - 3 years.) A few suggestions; community resources, get all you can, ask the hospital, your own primary doc, whatever it takes. Ask parent's friends to come sit with them if only for 30 min once a week - 3 people doing that gives you 30 min of walking outside away from the stress. Yoga, meditation, and counseling all help as well. Gives you a safe place to unload and makes your own body/mind understand how to keep it's own care. Remember the no one caregiver survival rule: you can only care for others well when you are caring for yourself enough. The depression is real and normal for your situation-but you can do things to help mitigate it and you clearly are trying to, good for you!

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Thanks for all of these suggestions, I really appreciate the support.  Along the way, the one thing I have made sure of is that I get some me-time, I workout (CF) at least 3 times a week and yoga once a week, so I think I have that covered. My sleep is not the best, but I get as much as my schedule will allow, approx. 7 hrs, but it is not solid, I do wake up a few times. I will make sure to include the foods suggested.  Just to vent some more, had a bit of a melt-down this morning before work to see that one of my dogs is ailing, when it rains it pours!

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If you're really struggling, sometimes a sleep in or a massage is more effective than an early morning CF session. Cortisol is a stress hormone and when you're under ongoing stress it can take quite a toll. Cortisol is supposed to help us outrun giant predators like tigers, so it can really wear your body out if it's going every day.

 

Magnesium, Vitamin D3 and a whole lot of other nutrients are really important when you're burning the candle at both ends, make sure you talk to your doctor about it.

 

In Australia we have something called Respite Care, where caregivers can take some time off and someone else can care for your loved one/s for a few days. It may not sound like a lot, but it means you can sleep in, truly rest and recover.

 

Emotionally sometimes we want to take the whole burden, to do it all, because we love them. This isn't always healthy or sustainable and they need you to be healthy, not just to take care of them, but because they love you too and they don't want you to get sick.

 

Do ask for help, don't try to do everything on your own. Make sure you're talking to someone about the load you're under. Sometimes it's hard to be objective.

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praxisproject: I CrossFit after work not in the morning so I think it's not too bad and I don't go full on these days, more for therapy and I just started taking natural calm again and a good quality fish oil. As it happens, we just got respite for my mom for holidays we are planning in June and September, a week each, so I hope that will help me recharge. I am also looking at some in-home care to help with her care. Thanks, I really appreciate your concern and advice.

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Thanks for all the support.  I still have the stress and the situation hasn't gone away but on Day 9, I feel so much better able to cope with everything going on around me.  If I can't control everything around me at least I can control my nutrition which is helping me deal with the stress. I stayed strong on the weekend with a few blips on meal timing and some extra fruit and nuts that I did not need but I am proud to say I did not stray from food content and I am feeling pretty good.

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On day 12 and I am doing a lot better.  I don't know if its just the changes in me from the Whole30 or coincidence but my mom has been doing really well for the last 3 days in a row.  Before this she was hard pressed to go more than one day without a mental breakdown, but things have been going a lot better lately. I have also been able to get her to eat better so hopefully that will help her get stronger physically to build up her strength.  It never ceases to amaze me how the Whole30 can not only improve your quality of life but others around you even if they aren't on it. Its very encouraging, more so when it happens to you personally.

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kruddock,

Glad to hear that you are feeling better. Sometimes we just need a change in attitude. Deciding to be healthy is a change in attitude. Most people don't make decisions about things they take for granted.

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  • 2 weeks later...

OMG, today has been a roller coaster, we started my mom on new medication last night and because her system is so clean it really affected her this morning, she got up too early and was still half asleep and babbling/incoherent and understandably upset. Privately I had a mini breakdown but after getting her back to bed to rest and have a nap, she is coherent now, just a little dozy. Suffice it to say, the meal template has gone straight out the window but I have technically stayed compliant and hope to get back on track later on today once I have calmed down myself. Thanks for letting me unload, these forums are very helpful for many different reasons!

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OMG, today has been a roller coaster, we started my mom on new medication last night and because her system is so clean it really affected her this morning, she got up too early and was still half asleep and babbling/incoherent and understandably upset. Privately I had a mini breakdown but after getting her back to bed to rest and have a nap, she is coherent now, just a little dozy. Suffice it to say, the meal template has gone straight out the window but I have technically stayed compliant and hope to get back on track later on today once I have calmed down myself. Thanks for letting me unload, these forums are very helpful for many different reasons!

Warm hugs and support for you during this difficult time... it must be so difficult to watch your mom go through this time and I just want to say that you're incredibly strong and brave for also having the insight to take care of yourself at the same time! 

If you need anything, I'm not that far away and I think I remember we work close-ish so even tho we dont' know eachother, I'm offering myself if you need anything.

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