Heather Robertson Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 I had to bite my tongue when she called my guacamole baby poop. I wanted to come back and say that the rotel/velveeta cheese dip she was eating looks like cat vomit. She then proceeded to fill my fridge with beans, a chocolate, sugary dessert, pie filling, diet soda and cheese. I didn't know how to comment politely. I forsee a very difficult time in the future as our eating styles clash at family gatherings. The food she serves makes me sick! How can I handle this tactfully?? Fortunately my husband understands why I eat (and cook) the way I do. And he supports me even though he's not fully on board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tom Denham Posted October 22, 2012 Moderators Share Posted October 22, 2012 There can be no argument when you just say, "I feel better when I eat this way" because no one else can know how you feel. Then just let it go. You don't have to convince her, just you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 When she leaves your house can you politely-yet firmly-insist that she take all the food that she was just temporarily storing in your fridge? I would throw in a "here, you must take this, we'll never eat it" but I'm not always so nice... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhmomi Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Heather - I have been married ten years and have a MIL too. Couple of questions/thoughts for you that came to mind upon reading your post... 1. If it was a family gathering and she brought food of her choice for everyone, then what is the issue? My MIL brings over desserts all the time, but I just abstain, let my kids have small portions, and throw out the leftovers later. My hubby is not eating Paleo, so we have plenty of "bad" foods in our home. Fewer than we used to, but still more than I would like. 2. As for her comment about the guacamole, which happens to be something I absolutely love, it does sort of look unappetizing, especially if you aren't a fan of it. I think the same thing about hummus, split pea soup, and brunswick stew. Just not much to look at. It was not a nice thing to say, but lot's of people say strange things like that about food. If it were me, I would let the whole thing go, even if it's difficult. At future gatherings, just make sure you have food you enjoy and ignore any negative comments. Living well and being healthy will be your sweet revenge! Good luck! P.S. I have been known to flip out when my MIL brings junk food to my kids, but I do it less than I used to. If I overreact then I remind her that she knows good and well before she buys the junk food that I won't like it so she shouldn't be surprised at my unhappy display. She agrees I am right about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austin Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 I hate it when people use words for food that make them sound unappetizing. Luckily I have a strong stomach so you can say my food looks like anything you like, it won't put me off but it's so rude to make comments like that. If it looks bad to you, don't frigging eat it and go sit in the corner with your doritos and soda!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 I don't engage with people unless they have read up on Paleo/Whole30. I would never engage with someone who called guac baby poop. I can see how you would want to call her dip cat vomit though. In my memory, I think such dips even smell a bit vomitish. I just leave the food where it sits and ask them to take it when they leave (they may not do that automatically as it's considered polite to leave what you bring for your hosts) and if they get snarky, next time don't ask them to but throw it or give it away when they leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kb0426 Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 When guests come to my house for a gathering, they know that if they expect to drink diet soda (or eat a velveeta based dip, etc) they need to bring it themselves. Then, as I am cleaning up, I make care packages for everyone. The items they brought get put into their care package, along with some of the leftovers from our meal that they commented on/enjoyed. There is no discussion; it just gets done. It makes everyone feel like they are contributing to the event, and are getting parting gifts afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 When guests come to my house for a gathering, they know that if they expect to drink diet soda (or eat a velveeta based dip, etc) they need to bring it themselves. Then, as I am cleaning up, I make care packages for everyone. The items they brought get put into their care package, along with some of the leftovers from our meal that they commented on/enjoyed. There is no discussion; it just gets done. It makes everyone feel like they are contributing to the event, and are getting parting gifts afterwards. That's a much nicer way of doing it than the way I want to do it..which is to say "get this crap outta here". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridget Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Send her home with it or chuck it in the trash as soon as she goes. I think it's a control thing. I've been there... Who cares what she thinks-take care of yourself. You just keep eating how YOU need to/like to. (Try not to hang onto it too long- it gets pretty stressful) Good luck !! slw- I'm with YOU !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhmomi Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 That's a much nicer way of doing it than the way I want to do it..which is to say "get this crap outta here". SLW - I think we ALL want to do what you want to do! We'll just save ourselves further grief if we choose the give it back/ throw it away approach... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather Robertson Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 Thank you for all your words of encouragement. I really hate conflict of any sort. And I know this is going to be an issue whenever we get together with them. I will just have to keep on doing what's right for me and my hubbie! I was able to explain the "i don't eat grains anymore" thing to her by telling her that I feel better without them and that it causes digestive trouble. She accepted that so maybe over time it will work out without too much stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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