So frustrated-watermelon on day 22 was a bust

[Jewels_V]

So I'm on day 22 of what I've decided is going to be 45 days of Whole30 (two reasons: I have autoimmune issues-Hashimoto's-and I'm kinda still waiting for more benefits and I ate a bite of an RXBar on day 12 that I didn't feel was in the spirit of W30).  Otherwise I've been compliant with the rules. Fruit consumption has been kept within guidelines for the most part. I'd been afraid to eat my favorite food though, watermelon, because I have such a hard time stopping (like stopping moments before my stomach explodes).  Well we cut it up yesterday. That went okay. Today though, I messed up the timing of my meals and waited too long for M1, then ate a very late M2.  I think because of this, I was overly hungry and feeling unsatisfied even after I ate M2.  I made it through M3 and decided a small bowl (I would say that holds a fist size) of watermelon was okay.  No. No No No No! I think I had about 6. Bowls. Not cubes. Not kidding. First time I have overeaten and overstuffed myself since I started W30. Now it's 2AM and I'm beating myself up with the "why did I do it" over and over.  I guess I cannot have any. I thought since my sugar cravings had diminished it would be okay but it wasn't. I feel like I've failed.  And I just needed to vent.  Really angry with myself.

[ladyshanny]

It's OK, @Jewels_V. Really, it's ok. Is it ideal? Not really because now you feel sad/angry/frustrated/stuffed. But what did you learn? That perhaps you are still experiencing more connection to sugar than you thought you were. That if you undereat during the day, you are then required to employ "will power" which is a diminishing resource, normally at its lowest point around evening/bedtime. That you have a strong connection to watermelon that may, temporarily, need either supervision or complete elimination.

You may have also learned that instead of beating yourself up over it, it may be kinder/gentler to say "Man, I sure do love watermelon. Before I eat in next time I'm going to decide well in advance whether it's worth it, knowing that I may eat more of it than most people would." If it is worth it to you to eat it until you're stuffed and you enjoyed every second and you don't care that your stomach is throbbing, then that was a reasonable decision to make. If you think you might feel badly afterward or not appreciate the stomach ache or any other negative side effect, then make a plan to go forward. Maybe that means avoiding it for the time being until it is worth it.

In any case, carry on. If you learned something and you didn't go off the reset, then you're fine. Just another day in Whole30land.  

[Jewels_V]

@ladyshanny Thank you, I am sorry it took so long for me to respond to this.  Its Day 38 and I am still going!  I had not been active on the forum lately, I need to get back to it.  Its motiviating and reminds me of the rules.  Now, eating W30 is pretty much second nature, but I did spend a week in Florida on vacation and pretty much ate carrots, jicama, grilled chicken and olives daily LOL.  I had to pack a cooler and had time to really only prepare an ideal M1 (Chicken, egg whites and avocado with tons of veggies and salsa).   I am going for W60, mainly because I have 30+ years of emotional and binge eating to tackle.  I also have Hashimoto's.   Since the watermelon, I have had a couple of other slips where I ate because I wanted to, not because I was hungry (fruit and an RXBar one day during a 2.5 hour drive with sleeping kids in FL) and another time, an EXTREME amount of nuts.  I don't know why I did it but I had the worse stomach ache the next morning with the nuts.  I kept telling myself "no more" but I kept pulling out the container and putting it back over and over.  I just don't think my gut is used to that quantity of fat at one time.  I debated removing nuts from my plan but so far, I have been able to stick to a closed handful for the most part and they are a good 'emergency food' to have bc no refridgeration.   Anyways, this reply has become about me and what I really wanted to say was thank you for taking the time to response and reassure me during my low point!  It was great to read that after the watermelon incident. 

[orca_chick]

2 hours ago, Jewels_V said:

@ladyshanny Thank you, I am sorry it took so long for me to respond to this.  Its Day 38 and I am still going!  I had not been active on the forum lately, I need to get back to it.  Its motiviating and reminds me of the rules.  Now, eating W30 is pretty much second nature, but I did spend a week in Florida on vacation and pretty much ate carrots, jicama, grilled chicken and olives daily LOL.  I had to pack a cooler and had time to really only prepare an ideal M1 (Chicken, egg whites and avocado with tons of veggies and salsa).   I am going for W60, mainly because I have 30+ years of emotional and binge eating to tackle.  I also have Hashimoto's.   Since the watermelon, I have had a couple of other slips where I ate because I wanted to, not because I was hungry (fruit and an RXBar one day during a 2.5 hour drive with sleeping kids in FL) and another time, an EXTREME amount of nuts.  I don't know why I did it but I had the worse stomach ache the next morning with the nuts.  I kept telling myself "no more" but I kept pulling out the container and putting it back over and over.  I just don't think my gut is used to that quantity of fat at one time.  I debated removing nuts from my plan but so far, I have been able to stick to a closed handful for the most part and they are a good 'emergency food' to have bc no refridgeration.   Anyways, this reply has become about me and what I really wanted to say was thank you for taking the time to response and reassure me during my low point!  It was great to read that after the watermelon incident. 

Watermelon is a problem food for me too.  I will literally eat it until I'm sick or feel like I'm going to explode and completely lose all rationality and control.  I have found that if I'm going to eat it, I need to buy it pre-cut in a small portion so that I literally don't eat an entire watermelon over the course of a couple of hours.  I'm not sure what it is about it, but I just love the stuff.

[laura_juggles]

18 hours ago, orca_chick said:

Watermelon is a problem food for me too.  I will literally eat it until I'm sick or feel like I'm going to explode and completely lose all rationality and control.  I have found that if I'm going to eat it, I need to buy it pre-cut in a small portion so that I literally don't eat an entire watermelon over the course of a couple of hours.  I'm not sure what it is about it, but I just love the stuff.

This was exactly what I was going to suggest

Or, if you still want to have watermelon available for your kids, start with one of those baby watermelons, portion it out and label one for you, and one each for your kids. You have yours, but going back into the fridge to get more and only met with the portions for your kids might give you enough pause to tell yourself "you already had yours; eating Jimmy's would make me a really not-nice mommy" and walk away (making up kids' names here). 

Regarding the nuts, *never* eat directly out of the container. Make portions of nuts to keep in the car...the tiny snack size baggies are perfect for that. Label containers if you have to with "do not eat out of the container" to help you break the habit.