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Sadness, Surprises and Surviving Easter interrupted my round 2, then I jumped back on the wagon but was avoiding my thoughts and feelings so I avoided journaling. I took a pregnancy test about a week after Easter and it was negative. I expected to feel relief rather I felt sadness deep sadness and concern as to what was going on with my body. It felt different things were just weird. I had more compliant days than not for most of the days left in April and May hit and I was so tired and exhausted and HUNGRY for all the things that I turned off my brain and dived into some emotional eating and turning to sundrop to try to help with energy levels. All the while my body is still feeling weird and off. The exhaustion made no sense the ravenous appetite made no sense and now smells began to bother me... none of this adds up unless I was prego, but the test said no. Finally just before mother’s day my hubby encouraged me to test again. It was positive I wasn’t crazy, and things started making sense. I decided to wait until after we celebrated the oldest boys 18th birthday to pick up the whole 30 quest hard core. I’ve put down the sundrop though I’ve “needed” a little ginger ale in the evenings as that’s when my stomach begins to churn. So tomorrow is my official start date. I am not doing this to loose weight, I am doing this to provide me and baby better nutrition and to get off the slide I’ve been on for the past two weeks. To re-establish healthy eating choices and relationship to food and my body. Today I am working on mindset and some prep work that will make jumping back in easy and delicious.

Hello & Good morning day 3! I feel ok on wake up, but am playing the mental game of “how many calories am i eating” which isn’t the way of Whole 30. I’ve been here before, this is my 4th round over the last 18 months, but am so surprised that no matter how much i think i know about what to expect, it’s never what I actually feel. The calorie obsession is directly connected to the weight gain I’ve experienced during the quarantine & the depression I feel - i know it’s not healthy to connect these emotions to weight gain and self confidence but here I am, and I’m 100% certain this reset is what I need. I know it, because I’ve been here before. Today’s goals: - be nice to myself, forgive myself, engage in self care - learn how to attend a weekly zoom happy hour with friends today without alcohol and cheese (challenge of the day! But i know I can do it and my friends are supportive) - I would also like to achieve one productive task related to home improvements I’ve been working on during quarantine / shelter in place / safer at home. I want to hang one shelf today. - I would like to spend time reading today, let’s see if i can fulfill my desire! - not snacking at night is hard. Tonight if I want to snack I would like to instead sit down to collage (I have all the tools and enjoy it) If anyone is reading this, I’m seeking something buddies for the journey. Feel free to reach out.

@Blueautumn thank you for the kind words and encouragement. Yes purging is hard, and the emotional junk it brings to the surface is even harder. I’m grateful for all that I learned about me during my first whole 30 round in January. I was able to identify and release so much that round. I know I still have a ways to go, but this is a process that grows as we grow and for that I am also grateful. Have a beautiful day!

so much congrats @BabyBear !!! that is fantastic. And it is so great that you were able to start releasing those memories. Purging is hard and scary and I avoid it. It takes alot to turn inward and really start looking at what is going in your head. <3 Hopefully you sleep well after all that work I saw your posts on another person's log that I was catching up and was so excited to see that you had posted something. Happy thoughts for you, your family, and your round 2

Hi! @Brewer5 honestly not sure if you were planning on coming back to this thread since you finished the Whole30 a few days ago!! I spent the downtime in my work shifts at the hospital this week reading through your thread from beginning to end and there were so many gems and I loved watching/reading your journey. I kept going to respond to posts and would stop myself when I realized they were from weeks or months ago LOL. Just wanted to say that I found your log extremely helpful as I get ready to start my first round. Sending good vibes for your future endeavors

Aw thanks!! I love to cook, and it's so much easier to stay on track when I keep it interesting. Hubster has been at me to start a blog, but there are soooo many out there and I don't know that anyone would want to listen to me LOL. Symptom check in - vertigo still present but way less intense, no major crushing moments. Still have a vague headache, but I also think I'm in desperate need of a remedial massage, as I've been working from home and my set up might not be very ergonomic. Way less bloated, oral allergy is calming down a lot and I haven't had heartburn since day 2. I started W30 in the second week of 2019, and did 2 rounds in the first half of the year. Second half of the year went a bit haywire, then I did another round in January this year, and this is round 4. Every round I do, it just ingrains more how much better I feel when I eat like this.

Day 31: 5/14/20 Weighed in today ~ same conditions: 126.4 lbs That's 4.8 lbs in 30 days ~ and 3.7% of my weight = gone.

Day 13, Wednesday May 13 M1: potato-egg salad topped with fresh chives, 1 small English banger sausage, lots of green beans M2: romaine & spinach salad tossed with green goddess dressing and topped with diced tomatoes and chicken Snack: 1 devilled egg (2 halves), small handful of pecans & walnuts, one orange M3: homemade meatballs au jus, mashed potatoes, roasted cauliflower, carrots, green beans and red cabbage, applesauce NSV: the hives on my face have cleared up NSV: I ate very well all day, everything was compliant NSV: I shopped at Costco and didn’t buy anything that wasn’t compliant, and I bought a 2-pack of veggie grill pans for the bbq that I’m looking forward to using NSV: I didn’t have any cravings today Hack to Habit: keep frozen green beans on hand (green beans are my favourite veg). I didn’t realize until I plated my breakfast that I totally forgot about a non- starchy veg, but luckily I had some fresh green beans that I cooked up quickly and ate after finishing the rest of M1. I won’t always have fresh green beans though, so I’ll pick up some frozen Plan for tomorrow: plan. those. meals Reflection: although I started this W30 with a long list of changes I am hoping for, I decided today to re-focus. I am only going to focus on eating well, and trying new foods and recipes. My goal for the end of this W30 is to be on auto pilot when it comes to my food choices, to choose healthy food over junk, and that it’s always easy for me to put together a healthy meal. I like how I feel right now, I enjoy the taste of real food and I don’t crave junk.

Here are some of my favorites: Whole30 Chicken Nuggets: https://40aprons.com/whole30-chicken-nuggets-chick-fil-a/ Lemon Butter Scallops: https://www.paleorunningmomma.com/scallops-with-lemon-butter-sauce-and-herbed-cauliflower-rice/ Sesame Chicken: https://40aprons.com/whole30-sesame-chicken/ Salmon Cakes: http://meljoulwan.com/2014/11/10/oven-fried-salmon-cakes/ Silky Gingered Zucchini Soup (I love this as veggies for breakfast): https://meljoulwan.com/2012/11/05/silky-gingered-zucchini-soup/ And these two are definitely complicated and take a little bit of time but they are totally worth it! Spinach Artichoke Twice Baked Potatoes: https://www.paleorunningmomma.com/twice-baked-potatoes-paleo-whole30-vegan/ Paleo Lasagna: http://www.paleonewbie.com/awesome-paleo-lasagna-recipe/

******** Was thinking today - so grateful that I did W30 during Quarantine, as otherwise, I may have "eaten my way through it"! I most likely would have gained wt and been miserable! Instead, with lovely W30, I LOST wt, felt healthy, happy, full & satisfied, and DELIGHTED to have a plan and PATH to follow that's SUSTAINABLE!

Over last weekend, I wrote a review for the Whole30 book: "Yes, it looks daunting! But it turned out to be a WONDERFUL experience! I thought about it a month or so before I was ready to commit. Finally, I chose a day to begin & began preparation & gathering supplies.The Good News is that after Day 4, like many, I started to feel better & cravings began to lessen. By Day 10 for me, a sense of WELL BEING kicked in and the rest of the Journey was a pleasure, for the most part. By day 10, I had NO interest in off limit foods, and was enjoying really good food.Tip - the day before starting, make the (easy) W30 Mayo & make a chicken salad w/ that & celery. I served mine with toasted almonds, lettuce & grapes. So good. Keeping this on hand really helps the Journey! Keeping homemade chili on hand helped also. So good with avocado.Also, I can't face eggs for breakfast, so I had half a baked sweet potato. ***And there is approved W30 BACON! *** YES!For dinner - any kind of roast works & you can have mashed potatoes with ghee! Heaven! Or roasted potatoes. Or hash browns! Also loved sides of french green beans with spring onion, cucumbers in vinegar , squash & sliced tomatoes. Also slaw, tossed salad & Spinach Salad.For snacks - most RX bars are approved - so good that I have to make myself limit to just one a day!Also like melon wrapped w/ a compliant prosciutto .Smoothies aren't encouraged on W30, but I had one w/ coconut water, banana, apple & berries w/ COLLAGEN, almost every day. I need Collagen for joint health & this is a great way to take it.There are W30 ketchup & salad dressings you can buy also. The W30 website has lots of Sources listed.// So once you get into, its really Not that hard - and SO . WORTH . IT !Then after the 30 days, the cherry on top is the TESTING Phase, where you actually get to sort out which food groups cause reactions that make you feel bad.After testing a food group, you go back to W30 for 2 days or so & then test another! That's why the W30 Journey is SO WORTH IT! All the best on yours!

On DAY 29 = had my first RX BAR - cHOCOLATE SEA SALT - OMGOSH! Sooo good -- & compliant!! Now why is this "candy bar-like" treat okay & not the healthy banana/ egg dish?? Again, I'm viewing that as an omelette!

And my Banana/egg concoction does not resemble a pancake in any way, shape or form! By the time I scoop it out of the pan, it looks more like an omelette! So I'm going to call it a Banana Omelette

So, two days ago - what would have been Day 32 - I broke my pinky toe. It was so weird - I just walked into the back of the loveseat that I have in my little office area. I wasn't speeding, I wasn't angry ... It was so ungraceful and out of my norm, I was just like what the {curse words}?! and I thought I'd just walk it off. Then it felt crunchy. I have never felt anything like it. 41 years - I've never broken anything! Well, I am 99.9% sure that I broke the damn thing. When I texted to tell my mom - she thought you don't have bones in your pinky toe. Umm, yes, yes you do ... and they feel crunchy when you break them. Trust me on this one. Lol. The long story short is that I then had to jam this foot into a shoe, because I don't like driving with flip-flops ... and that was a bad choice. I had to drive over an hour to pick up my son, and had placed an online order for two boxes of flooring at this far-away Lowe's, because no one around here has it in stock and I want to finish my kitchen. Well, whoever picked my two boxes clearly did not care ... they were both ripped open, with pieces of flooring chipped. Are you kidding me?! So my son and I trekked all over Lowe's, with my broken toe, trying to dig up some good boxes. It was at the checkout when I started to feel a little shaky inside ... all of these events caught up with me, and I realized I'd had too much coffee and nothing to eat since my banana 4 hours prior. The trail mix at the checkout called my name, and I answered. The worst part is that we stopped to get food at McDonald's on the way home at 9:00 pm ... I got McDoubles and I ATE THE BUNS. Holy what just happened to my brain, Batman ........ So I decided that clearly I am not ready to step outside of my W30 guidelines, and resolved to make yesterday a new Day 1. That is, until I saw that my son had made too much popcorn shrimp in the air fryer yesterday afternoon, and decided I needed to eat it. I ate ONE piece - and my brain said: stop. Just stop. Walk away from the popcorn shrimp, and nobody gets hurt. With the exception of that one moment of weakness - yesterday was completely compliant. Today is a new day. I have to go to work - nursing - but only a 4-hour shift. My toe is going to be okay. My food is going to be okay. It's all going to be okay!