Contessa

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  1. Thanks
    Contessa got a reaction from SchrodingersCat in Guess who's back? Back again, Schrodey's Back...   
    Posting meals and W30 experiences here does seem to dial up the level of engagement, doesn't it? You're in the right place. And yes. Dijon mustard is delicious, shit absolutely happens, and your W30 pals are here for you. Hope you are having a great day, I look forward to tracking your experience here.
  2. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    These sound like two MASSIVE NSVs. Congratulations and brava!
  3. Like
    Contessa reacted to Mikaliki in Starting August 5th- need this to feel happier   
    I am still here, after 2 false starts/early falls. I am starting day 3 today. Did some healthy cooking- sheetpan cod, green beans, onions and cherry tomatoes w olive oil lemon sauce and sweet potato wedges.
  4. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    I'm at a big multi-purpose gym that has a huge free weight area with lots of space to do whatever my heart desires...!  Pre-Covid, the place was often crowded and it was hard to find a little niche to be in, so I worry that it will eventually be that way again.  Granted, I went at 2:30 yesterday afternoon which I'm able to do given my current schedule.  My normal time would be 4:30/5:00 pm.  I'm not going to go at that time for a while.  
    Part of my issue with going was exactly what you stated - I was seeing pictures on social media of packed spin and body pump classes.  I don't go to those, but still, it was a little disconcerting.  But yesterday, people were wearing masks walking in and walking around from place to place (that's the rule).  So, I wore my mask until I got to the treadmill (I had a whole row to myself, plus there were cloth barriers in between each machine) and then put my mask back on to walk over to the free weight area.  I had a moment of indecision about whether or not I should wear my mask as i loaded up plates, but decided i should always wear it unless actively engaged in exercise.  I just brought all the plates I would need to my area.  With so few people there, I felt like I could do that without upsetting anyone for hogging the plates.  Everyone picks up a bottle of sanitizer and cloth as they walk in and are expected to sanitize their areas once done (I also sanitized before I started).
  5. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    I cannot eat ice cream.  
    Diary is one of those things I don't eat much of anyway, just cheese on occasion.  II didn't even think about how I might react to the ice cream, but it was quickly evident that it was not a good thing.  Ice cream is going to have to be in the "almost never worth it" category.  
    Enjoyed a lovely stroll on Saturday, but my knee started acting up about 20 minutes into the 3.5 mile hike.  Slow, with breaks when I came upon a place to sit.  The lack of consistency in both my diet and exercise shows at those moments.  I met all my goals last week, so one week down, three to go until I can order my new Rothy's!
    Energy-7, Mood-7, Pain-1.  The shoulder is better, but still catches with certain movements.  I'm not ready to incorporate push-ups or presses into my routine yet.  
    M1-3 eggs, cooked with cubed sweet potato and spinach in olive oil with 3 slices sugar-free bacon
    M2-Shrimp salad.  I need to make mayo.  Served with sliced cucumber
    M3-The hubby may be grilling rib eye steaks on the grill, so that with some zucchini.  Otherwise, I'm going to indoor grill steak and slice it to serve over salad.  
    Re-posting my goals so I don't have to scroll up to see them.  I will be working toward 8k steps, 3 days this week.  And I need to sign-up for the 5k today.  It's going to be hot, so I'll go to the gym this afternoon.  
  6. Like
    Contessa reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    W30 R3 Saturday August 8
    M1: sweet potato hash with kale & prosciutto, 2 eggs
    Snack: dates, cashews, walnuts, pecans
    M2: favourite green salad
    M3: chicken thighs in tomato sauce https://www.paleorunningmomma.com/one-skillet-chicken-cacciatore-paleo-whole30/ with white potatoes on the side
    NSV: I did it, Day One - Done!  
  7. Like
    Contessa reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    W30 R3 Friday August 7, 2020
    M1: boiled green beans, 2 eggs fried in ghee
    M2: favourite green salad with chicken
    M3: non-compliant dinner out at a restaurant - 2 dinner rolls with butter, scalloped veal with prosciutto in wine reduction, potatoes, zucchini and sweet peppers, one glass (125 ml) of wine
    NSV: no snacking all day
    Dinner out was nice.  I was really hungry and so ate two (small and very tasty) dinner rolls while waiting for my entree.  I enjoyed the wine with dinner, had a second glass poured for me but I left it on the table.  On the drive home the wine effect kicked in,  I felt drugged and I did NOT like it.  I went to bed early.  I know that alcohol makes me sleepy.  Maybe wine is something best saved for sharing laughs with good friends.  I'm not sure going forward that having wine with boring dinner company like I had last night is worth how I feel afterwards, even if it tastes good with dinner.  I really have to think about this - it would be a lifestyle change for me.  Am I ready for that? 
    Tomorrow - Saturday - will be my 8th consecutive attempt at Day 1, and hopefully my 3rd day in a row without any added sugar (wine today excluded).   I feel good about my progress, albeit slow it is still progress.  It's me living my new healthy lifestyle practice.
  8. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    First trip to the gym yesterday - yay!  It was very quiet, and I did feel safe.  The few that were there were respectful of distance.  I will be comfortable going back.  I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes, though I had planned to do the first C25K module.  I got confused and thought the app wasn't working correctly, but it was just me.  I also did 3 sets of deadlifts.  It felt so good to get back in with the barbell.  From there I went to the blood bank to donate...that was a fiasco.  I am a regular donor, but this time, there were issues with the needle stick (a new phlebotomist) and then feeling lightheaded, nauseous, and like I was going to faint.  So my excuse for my lackluster dinner was that I needed to rest and relax.  But overall, it was a decent day.  
    Today, I'm feeling really good.  Mood-8, Energy-8, Pain-2, still the shoulder.  It takes soo long for my body to heal as I approach 50!  
    I met my yoga goal for the day.  Half way there on the gym goal.  I still have not attained 8,000 steps, though close yesterday.  I think I will modify that to 2 times this week, up to 3 next week, and so on.  
    M1-Not hungry, have only had black coffee.  Will likely have an early lunch.  
    M2-tacos would be awesome.  I think I'll order a Chipotle lifestyle bowl.  
    M3-Last night's planned chicken dish.  
    Still in the holding pattern, but it's ok.  I came across a quote on social media this morning that really resonates with me right now:  "If you quit now, you'll end up right back where you first began.  And when you first began, you were desperate to be right where you are now."  TRUTH.  
  9. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    @Contessa and @ShadowInTheKitchen  I really feel like we are on the same path, in different places on that path, but the same path nonetheless.  We are cheering for each other, I love it!!!  I so appreciate knowing that others know exactly what I mean, because you are absolutely correct, Shadow, journaling is awesome and I'm finding my way this time around because I'm being faithful to this process.  
    Contessa, I can reallly buy into what your therapist says about getting sick of our own excuses and patterns.  I actively find myself saying, "stop making excuses and own your choices!" frequently these days.  That shift in mindset doesn't mean I"m always making the right choices (clearly) but it is a coin in my bank of self-kindness.  This IS practice, it's how anyone gets better at anything.  I'm engaging in self-awareness/healthy lifestyle practice.   Yes!!! 
    I used to think it was hokey pseudo-psychology, the idea of forgiving yourself.  That mantra can be found in every self-help manual, podcast, talk show.  But I really think it is the key - finding it within ourselves to be forgiving of our poor, conscious choices and moving on.  I'm not there yet, but I am beginning to see the way.  It IS better to at least make a goal, to be mildly engaged in this process even if I can't find the energy to actively engage.  That is wisdom, Shadow.  
    If nothing else, the pandemic has given me the time I need to process the whys and hows.  
     
    I also laughed out loud at this!!  The mental image, a hilarious reality check...I love spending time in the woods, but I do not plan to spend the next half of my life foraging for tree bark!  
  10. Like
    Contessa reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Take Advantage   
    @MadyVanilla @Contessa your reflections wow me.  You both can express so well some of the same things I am going through.  I just caught myself thinking, "OMG I am going to soo miss this input when these peeps reach their goals and stop posting."
    But I want you to succeed.  Like Contessa, I cheered (not out loud though LOL) when I read about your holding pattern @MadyVanilla, and I totally get this too.  It's probably going to be a very long process, but so much better than binging.  And so what if you miss your goals target for the day or the week?  It's still better than not having a target at all and not getting any good meals or any workouts done, but I know that you know this, it just feels good to write it out.  I know I'm in this for the long haul, even though I hope not, but I think it's my reality.  There could be worse things imo.
    I wonder, if keeping food logs and journaling with daily reflections were to be something that you do every day for the rest of your life, like laundry, cooking healthy foods or brushing your teeth, would that be so bad?  I'm pretty sure that junk food processors would not want us to do this.  Besides, I kinda like journaling. What about you?
    OK I did laugh out loud when I read this.  Thanks for the chuckle today 
  11. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from Semi in Starting August 5th- need this to feel happier   
    Wishing you a smooth start this morning, Mikaliki! Reaching out to draw on the strength of the community is a wise move, and signals the seriousness of your intention. Please lean on us, check in as often as you need to, and know that we are cheering you on!
  12. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Take Advantage   
    I don't know what this says about where I am today, but I literally lifted a fist in the air and shouted "YES!" when I read this.  Good thing I live alone and was not browsing the internet at a public library. So many important reflections in this paragraph!
    My therapist (a woman who should truly be inducted into sainthood) says that part of powerful behavior changes involves getting really sick of our own crap. We have to get sick of our own excuses and our own patterns before we're ready to shift. We have to stop buying what the old, outmoded version of us is trying to sell. I'm delighted by the sense of irritated boredom I hear in that paragraph.
    Speaking personally, my growth area isn't in picking ever more healthy foods to eat every day ("by the end of her life, she ate only pine cones and grass clippings! She was sooooo healthy!"). My growth area is emotional and mental.... noticing the compulsions when they come up, and reflexively turning inward with compassion instead of outward with a grasping hand. This is not about Cheez-Its, it's about exquisite internal kindness.
    For me, exquisite kindness is wholly incompatible with bingey behavior. They just don't go together.
    And of course, exquisite kindness is also the work of a lifetime. Practice, even when it's halting, is progress.
  13. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from Semi in Starting August 5th- need this to feel happier   
    Wishing you a smooth start this morning, Mikaliki! Reaching out to draw on the strength of the community is a wise move, and signals the seriousness of your intention. Please lean on us, check in as often as you need to, and know that we are cheering you on!
  14. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from Semi in Starting August 5th- need this to feel happier   
    Wishing you a smooth start this morning, Mikaliki! Reaching out to draw on the strength of the community is a wise move, and signals the seriousness of your intention. Please lean on us, check in as often as you need to, and know that we are cheering you on!
  15. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Contessa's Food Freedom   
    The shame, ah the shame!  I'm 50 pounds overweight, but I don't have food issues.  
    I am so happy for you continuing to find opportunities to feed your core being, to support yourself in staying checked in.  It is a hard concept to put into words, but I definitely know it when I'm doing it well.  And when I'm not, when I'm petulantly ignoring myself.  It's like meditation, you wander away, but just come back and you'll get better each time you try.  Your serene, meandering walk down this path is evident.  Your "at peace"-fulness shines through your post. 
    Your OA group sounds fantastic!  and just right for you at this moment.  Here's to a week of self-kindness and working toward goals. 
     
  16. Like
    Contessa reacted to Mikaliki in Starting August 5th- need this to feel happier   
    Hello forum! I’ve done this twice before but privately.  The quarantine and work from home has Turned my brain and body into battlefield- everyday I say today’s the day I stop with the junk and over eating.  And then ... tomorrow.  Today was one of those days.  All went well til late night cookies and crackers.  So this time I’m reaching out to community.  I’ll wake up August 5th and start this.  I’m a pescatarian so some limitations. But I can do it! Did some prep work already and have all my old hacks - lots of hard boiled eggs, bags of fresh and frozen veggies, canned fish, nuts, etc. I’m ready to kick my carb and cookie addiction. Ill be following my other August partners and will do my best to cheerlead.  This food relationship has got to change.  I’m sitting all day doing zooms and phone sessions and I want to get rid of the urge to fill voids with sugar.  I’m  ready.   See you tomorrow! M
  17. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    @Semi, @ShadowInTheKitchen, and @Contessa - thank you for your kind, supportive words.  I actually cried a little reading them.  I think I do need a good cry!    
    I will get through this, of course.  And I can do this without completely derailing the progress I've made.  I'm worried that I'm going to fall back into spending my days gorging on a dozen Dunkin Donuts, followed by some sort of meal from McDonald's, and on and on everyday.  And I've had days close to this, feeling about to tip over that edge, during the last two weeks.  But it's ok, because for every non-compliant day I've had, I've gathered myself up and returned to what I know helps me.  At the same time, I'm getting tired with myself, repeating the same pattern, making the same statements in my journal entries, but not getting fully back on track and moving forward.  I have to remember that this is success - in the past, I've fallen off, given up, and not attempted to return to healthy habits until months, or even years, later.  So, let me just remember that I have had more calm, easy days over the last two months than I've had tough ones and let me be gentle with myself as I work through this holding pattern.  
    Yesterday was a non-compliant but not an overeating day.  I live in the path of Tropical Storm Isiasis, and it was a bit of a tense time with lots of tornado warnings occurring and having both of my kids on opposite ends of town.  I did not get to the gym - the electricity was out after the storm had calmed.  It probably wasn't a good day to pick to start back anyway, lol!  I did 20 minutes of yoga last night, did not hit other goals, but again, I still have lots of week left.  
    Mood-7, Energy-6, Pain-2.  Shoulder is improving, knees not an issue.
    M1-3 eggs cooked in olive oil, topped with homemade mayo.  
    M2-Leftover ceasar salad with chicken
    M3-Chicken with one of the Primal Kitchen sauces I have in the cabinet.  Sauteed zucchini
     
    I've made my schedule for today, which includes exercise and yoga.  I feel bolstered and ready to tackle the day.  
  18. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    You know, even if we know well in advance that a big change is going to happen, those big changes can still be disorienting in ways that feel really surprising. Your son has moved out. The dynamic in your home is evolving. That's significant.
    Your self-awareness here sounds so wise. I hope you can be extra tender and patient with yourself this week. Keep putting words to your experience, and if you are up for it, signal to a friend that you could use a check-in. You are worth all of these things.  ((Virtual hugs from your W30 friends))
  19. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    It's amazing how quickly things fall apart, lol.  My son moved out yesterday - I'm officially an empty-nester.  I've known this was going to happen for a month but it was as if I wasn't prepared.  I went over to help vacuum and clean...and that was that.  Ugh.  This is hard.  And I felt that only a Dairy Queen blizzard could drown the emotions bubbling up from deep down.  I felt so awful afterward, my stomach bloated to three times it's normal size and ACHED.  I know I should have called a friend (well, I did, but didn't get into details about the day) but I did not want to deal with the feelings.  I didn't want to cry.  I should have gone for a walk.  But I just wanted to wallow.  And so I did.  Miserably so, with my knotted up tummy.  It hurt so much I couldn't even do yoga once I came to my senses and thought I should attempt healthier outlets.  I took a bath and watched a movie.  That helped.  
    I think part of my issue is feeling so alone in all this - my husband grilled himself a steak and proceeded to get drunk like he does so many other nights.  He spent a good portion of the day at our son's new place, installing venetian blinds etc.  He fancies himself as the cool dad, and I think he might be buying beer for these 18/19 year olds, which of course I do not agree with.  This empty-nest thing is not going to be easy.  
    All this means is that the house is now free of most junk foods.  I can truly focus on myself.  While I'm still feeling a little down this morning, it helps to come here to read and write.  
    Restart Day 1 
    Mood-4, Energy, 5, Pain -5 in my shoulder.  My knees feel fine.  I cannot walk the dog right now, though - she's trained to walk on my left and jerked that arm chasing a squirrel the other day.  This shoulder was already hurting due to push-ups.  I need to give it some time to heal.  I'm going to go out for a walk by myself later today.  
    M1-A hamburger patty.  I was tottering on the edge of making poor choices for today...the hamburgers were in the fridge and so no prep was required.  I'm glad now that's what I ate, because I'm feeling better about having a compliant day.  
    M2-chicken salad with salted cucumber slices
    M3-chicken Caesar salad with Primal Kitchen dressing.  
    My goals for August:
    30 days of yoga, even if it's just a few minutes.   8,000 steps, 3 times a week, increase by one day each week up to 5x/week.  If I hit 8,000, I usually get more than that, but I've been slacking the past two weeks.  I should note that it has been nearly a year since I tore up my knee (with pre-existing arthritis) such that I had to do physical therapy and rarely got over 2,000 steps/day.  It has been a very long road to get to the point to where I can tolerate a 3+ mile hike (mostly accomplished during quarantine). 2 days per week in the gym, doing barbell work.  I've been leery to return - tomorrow is the day.     Work the C25k program  - I'm looking at doing a virtual 5K on October 17th.  I've put it on my calendar to sign-up for it next Monday.    Get on a schedule for meal planning and grocery shopping - Saturday mornings are typically best for me to do this, but I've been off schedule for weeks.   My reward:  a pair of Rothy's shoes.  I've been looking at them for ages, but they are kind of expensive.  A worthy and desired carrot for meeting my goals.
     
     
     
     
  20. Like
    Contessa reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Take Advantage   
    Mady the reality is that you are not alone.  There is a whole world filled with women walking in the same shoes as you, and all wishing for new shoes too I'll bet ;-) .   I know it isn't easy, especially with all the isolation that is going on right now, to call up a friend or go visit someone, just to get yourself through this.  But you must.  Just a quick call to someone who is lonely too.  It works for me.  You will feel better.
    (((hugs)))
     
  21. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    In matters of food preparation, work, and life in general, this is fantastically true. I'm glad you didn't hesitate to return to a food approach that works for you. Wishing you a joyful Sunday!
  22. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from RachelR in Take Advantage   
    Hoo boy, that seems like a powerful comeback to those persistent "let's just eat everything" thoughts.
    Maybe the food is worth it, maybe it isn't.
    Either way, it's really nice to take a moment to ask the question. A huge amount of growth and strength can come from the moments where we simply pause.
    This resonates a lot. One argument I've had recently with myself is that thinking about the crappy food is not the same thing as swan-diving into a bucket of the crappy food. I realized yesterday that I've been mentally hard on myself for the past week for just having a complicated history with food. Geez. That seems kind of cruel, doesn't it?
    Maybe the point is to just be really kind and tender to ourselves, whatever we're eating. I can't float the argument that a global pandemic is an excuse for me to abandon all sense and all boundaries. However, it is true that our minds, bodies, and hearts are dealing with a lot these days. Even those of us who are not emergency room nurses are navigating profoundly uncertain and unsettling times. When I can tap into even a shred of patience, self-compassion, and curiosity, that's where I find the breathing space I need.
  23. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from RachelR in Take Advantage   
    YES to this. It is useful to realize that a restart is almost always accessible.
    I've been getting lazy about my post-Whole30 snacking this week. A little bite here, a little snack there, and eventually I wind up back in the land of full-time freelance grazing. Ugh. Sure enough, this afternoon I reached into a bag of tortilla chips and pulled out a fistful. Then I thought, "Wait. Do I really want to do this?" and the answer was resoundingly "NO." So I put the tortilla chips back in the bag. Heh. There are always more options available than my brain would like for me to believe.
  24. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from RachelR in Take Advantage   
    Just wanted to raise my hand here and say..... yep. Circumstances are a little different, but feeling tone is the same. What you are saying makes complete sense.
    I am continually struck by how powerfully this virus has altered our deeply entrenched patterns. It's obliterated some of the things that used to bring us joy every day, and it's offered different sources of joy. I'm feeling listless and grumpy about my lack of vacation this summer. I've been wasting far too much time on social media and pointless phone games, and wondering just how bad this thing is going to get.
    "Something that Miranda July said in an interview was that this moment is like the ultimate creative prompt. And there’s been this whole interesting conversation... about the tension between feeling that we’re trapped inside so we should be unbelievably creative and finding this to be the ultimate nervous, anxious distraction."
    That quote comes from a podcast I really like, The Ezra Klein Show, an episode called "Jenny Odell on nature, art, and burnout in quarantine." I plan to listen to this later. I think it will help me better understand how to think about this next phase of the pandemic, with its annoyingly unbroken stretches of hot days.
    Sorry for content that has zilch to do with the Whole 30. I just wanted to offer a note of empathy. Hang in there and let us know how things progress!
  25. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    In matters of food preparation, work, and life in general, this is fantastically true. I'm glad you didn't hesitate to return to a food approach that works for you. Wishing you a joyful Sunday!