Contessa

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  1. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Contessa's Food Freedom   
    The shame, ah the shame!  I'm 50 pounds overweight, but I don't have food issues.  
    I am so happy for you continuing to find opportunities to feed your core being, to support yourself in staying checked in.  It is a hard concept to put into words, but I definitely know it when I'm doing it well.  And when I'm not, when I'm petulantly ignoring myself.  It's like meditation, you wander away, but just come back and you'll get better each time you try.  Your serene, meandering walk down this path is evident.  Your "at peace"-fulness shines through your post. 
    Your OA group sounds fantastic!  and just right for you at this moment.  Here's to a week of self-kindness and working toward goals. 
     
  2. Like
    Contessa reacted to Mikaliki in Starting August 5th- need this to feel happier   
    Hello forum! I’ve done this twice before but privately.  The quarantine and work from home has Turned my brain and body into battlefield- everyday I say today’s the day I stop with the junk and over eating.  And then ... tomorrow.  Today was one of those days.  All went well til late night cookies and crackers.  So this time I’m reaching out to community.  I’ll wake up August 5th and start this.  I’m a pescatarian so some limitations. But I can do it! Did some prep work already and have all my old hacks - lots of hard boiled eggs, bags of fresh and frozen veggies, canned fish, nuts, etc. I’m ready to kick my carb and cookie addiction. Ill be following my other August partners and will do my best to cheerlead.  This food relationship has got to change.  I’m sitting all day doing zooms and phone sessions and I want to get rid of the urge to fill voids with sugar.  I’m  ready.   See you tomorrow! M
  3. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    @Semi, @ShadowInTheKitchen, and @Contessa - thank you for your kind, supportive words.  I actually cried a little reading them.  I think I do need a good cry!    
    I will get through this, of course.  And I can do this without completely derailing the progress I've made.  I'm worried that I'm going to fall back into spending my days gorging on a dozen Dunkin Donuts, followed by some sort of meal from McDonald's, and on and on everyday.  And I've had days close to this, feeling about to tip over that edge, during the last two weeks.  But it's ok, because for every non-compliant day I've had, I've gathered myself up and returned to what I know helps me.  At the same time, I'm getting tired with myself, repeating the same pattern, making the same statements in my journal entries, but not getting fully back on track and moving forward.  I have to remember that this is success - in the past, I've fallen off, given up, and not attempted to return to healthy habits until months, or even years, later.  So, let me just remember that I have had more calm, easy days over the last two months than I've had tough ones and let me be gentle with myself as I work through this holding pattern.  
    Yesterday was a non-compliant but not an overeating day.  I live in the path of Tropical Storm Isiasis, and it was a bit of a tense time with lots of tornado warnings occurring and having both of my kids on opposite ends of town.  I did not get to the gym - the electricity was out after the storm had calmed.  It probably wasn't a good day to pick to start back anyway, lol!  I did 20 minutes of yoga last night, did not hit other goals, but again, I still have lots of week left.  
    Mood-7, Energy-6, Pain-2.  Shoulder is improving, knees not an issue.
    M1-3 eggs cooked in olive oil, topped with homemade mayo.  
    M2-Leftover ceasar salad with chicken
    M3-Chicken with one of the Primal Kitchen sauces I have in the cabinet.  Sauteed zucchini
     
    I've made my schedule for today, which includes exercise and yoga.  I feel bolstered and ready to tackle the day.  
  4. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    You know, even if we know well in advance that a big change is going to happen, those big changes can still be disorienting in ways that feel really surprising. Your son has moved out. The dynamic in your home is evolving. That's significant.
    Your self-awareness here sounds so wise. I hope you can be extra tender and patient with yourself this week. Keep putting words to your experience, and if you are up for it, signal to a friend that you could use a check-in. You are worth all of these things.  ((Virtual hugs from your W30 friends))
  5. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    It's amazing how quickly things fall apart, lol.  My son moved out yesterday - I'm officially an empty-nester.  I've known this was going to happen for a month but it was as if I wasn't prepared.  I went over to help vacuum and clean...and that was that.  Ugh.  This is hard.  And I felt that only a Dairy Queen blizzard could drown the emotions bubbling up from deep down.  I felt so awful afterward, my stomach bloated to three times it's normal size and ACHED.  I know I should have called a friend (well, I did, but didn't get into details about the day) but I did not want to deal with the feelings.  I didn't want to cry.  I should have gone for a walk.  But I just wanted to wallow.  And so I did.  Miserably so, with my knotted up tummy.  It hurt so much I couldn't even do yoga once I came to my senses and thought I should attempt healthier outlets.  I took a bath and watched a movie.  That helped.  
    I think part of my issue is feeling so alone in all this - my husband grilled himself a steak and proceeded to get drunk like he does so many other nights.  He spent a good portion of the day at our son's new place, installing venetian blinds etc.  He fancies himself as the cool dad, and I think he might be buying beer for these 18/19 year olds, which of course I do not agree with.  This empty-nest thing is not going to be easy.  
    All this means is that the house is now free of most junk foods.  I can truly focus on myself.  While I'm still feeling a little down this morning, it helps to come here to read and write.  
    Restart Day 1 
    Mood-4, Energy, 5, Pain -5 in my shoulder.  My knees feel fine.  I cannot walk the dog right now, though - she's trained to walk on my left and jerked that arm chasing a squirrel the other day.  This shoulder was already hurting due to push-ups.  I need to give it some time to heal.  I'm going to go out for a walk by myself later today.  
    M1-A hamburger patty.  I was tottering on the edge of making poor choices for today...the hamburgers were in the fridge and so no prep was required.  I'm glad now that's what I ate, because I'm feeling better about having a compliant day.  
    M2-chicken salad with salted cucumber slices
    M3-chicken Caesar salad with Primal Kitchen dressing.  
    My goals for August:
    30 days of yoga, even if it's just a few minutes.   8,000 steps, 3 times a week, increase by one day each week up to 5x/week.  If I hit 8,000, I usually get more than that, but I've been slacking the past two weeks.  I should note that it has been nearly a year since I tore up my knee (with pre-existing arthritis) such that I had to do physical therapy and rarely got over 2,000 steps/day.  It has been a very long road to get to the point to where I can tolerate a 3+ mile hike (mostly accomplished during quarantine). 2 days per week in the gym, doing barbell work.  I've been leery to return - tomorrow is the day.     Work the C25k program  - I'm looking at doing a virtual 5K on October 17th.  I've put it on my calendar to sign-up for it next Monday.    Get on a schedule for meal planning and grocery shopping - Saturday mornings are typically best for me to do this, but I've been off schedule for weeks.   My reward:  a pair of Rothy's shoes.  I've been looking at them for ages, but they are kind of expensive.  A worthy and desired carrot for meeting my goals.
     
     
     
     
  6. Like
    Contessa reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Take Advantage   
    Mady the reality is that you are not alone.  There is a whole world filled with women walking in the same shoes as you, and all wishing for new shoes too I'll bet ;-) .   I know it isn't easy, especially with all the isolation that is going on right now, to call up a friend or go visit someone, just to get yourself through this.  But you must.  Just a quick call to someone who is lonely too.  It works for me.  You will feel better.
    (((hugs)))
     
  7. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from RachelR in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    In matters of food preparation, work, and life in general, this is fantastically true. I'm glad you didn't hesitate to return to a food approach that works for you. Wishing you a joyful Sunday!
  8. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from RachelR in Take Advantage   
    Hoo boy, that seems like a powerful comeback to those persistent "let's just eat everything" thoughts.
    Maybe the food is worth it, maybe it isn't.
    Either way, it's really nice to take a moment to ask the question. A huge amount of growth and strength can come from the moments where we simply pause.
    This resonates a lot. One argument I've had recently with myself is that thinking about the crappy food is not the same thing as swan-diving into a bucket of the crappy food. I realized yesterday that I've been mentally hard on myself for the past week for just having a complicated history with food. Geez. That seems kind of cruel, doesn't it?
    Maybe the point is to just be really kind and tender to ourselves, whatever we're eating. I can't float the argument that a global pandemic is an excuse for me to abandon all sense and all boundaries. However, it is true that our minds, bodies, and hearts are dealing with a lot these days. Even those of us who are not emergency room nurses are navigating profoundly uncertain and unsettling times. When I can tap into even a shred of patience, self-compassion, and curiosity, that's where I find the breathing space I need.
  9. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from RachelR in Take Advantage   
    YES to this. It is useful to realize that a restart is almost always accessible.
    I've been getting lazy about my post-Whole30 snacking this week. A little bite here, a little snack there, and eventually I wind up back in the land of full-time freelance grazing. Ugh. Sure enough, this afternoon I reached into a bag of tortilla chips and pulled out a fistful. Then I thought, "Wait. Do I really want to do this?" and the answer was resoundingly "NO." So I put the tortilla chips back in the bag. Heh. There are always more options available than my brain would like for me to believe.
  10. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from RachelR in Take Advantage   
    Just wanted to raise my hand here and say..... yep. Circumstances are a little different, but feeling tone is the same. What you are saying makes complete sense.
    I am continually struck by how powerfully this virus has altered our deeply entrenched patterns. It's obliterated some of the things that used to bring us joy every day, and it's offered different sources of joy. I'm feeling listless and grumpy about my lack of vacation this summer. I've been wasting far too much time on social media and pointless phone games, and wondering just how bad this thing is going to get.
    "Something that Miranda July said in an interview was that this moment is like the ultimate creative prompt. And there’s been this whole interesting conversation... about the tension between feeling that we’re trapped inside so we should be unbelievably creative and finding this to be the ultimate nervous, anxious distraction."
    That quote comes from a podcast I really like, The Ezra Klein Show, an episode called "Jenny Odell on nature, art, and burnout in quarantine." I plan to listen to this later. I think it will help me better understand how to think about this next phase of the pandemic, with its annoyingly unbroken stretches of hot days.
    Sorry for content that has zilch to do with the Whole 30. I just wanted to offer a note of empathy. Hang in there and let us know how things progress!
  11. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    In matters of food preparation, work, and life in general, this is fantastically true. I'm glad you didn't hesitate to return to a food approach that works for you. Wishing you a joyful Sunday!
  12. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Contessa's Food Freedom   
    I keep checking for your weekly update...while I am absolutely indebted to you for your valuable insight on my log, I love reading about your journey.  I hope all is going well, that struggles are being surmounted (or at least treated with gentle reflection), and that you are back to sleeping well.  
  13. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    Big restart tomorrow as I've puttered along this week.  I definitely feel like I've gotten myself back on track for the most part - I'm in a much better place than I was earlier in the week.  
    I took the dog for a 5-mile hike yesterday in the cooler woods and it was absolutely lovely!  I also did an hour yin yoga session - perfect.  I have a quick, overnight trip tonight for baseball, but I have groceries and meal plans ready to start anew  tomorrow!    
  14. Like
    Contessa reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    Whole 30 Round 3, Saturday August 1, 2020 re-intro and goals
    I'm back after a crazy July of feeding my Sugar Dragon way too much, especially ice cream.  My waist measurement has increased and my waist-to-hip ratio is at a staggering 0.906 today, which means I need to lose fat from around my mid section especially, but also generally all over.  This morning I saw a video of myself and I don't like how I look (my body is shaped like a sausage, without a defined waist).  I need to change that.  
    I was considering following the DASH diet, but I decided to do another Whole 30 instead because I like the results I had previously.  Whole30 taught me how to cook real food, how to eat big and healthy meals that leave me satisfied until my next meal, and I learned to not snack between meals while adhering to the program. Since completing my last W30, I now successfully go from breakfast to lunch without any snacking between, but I need to continue to work on developing better habits to get me through mid to late afternoons, which is when I typically raid the freezer for ice cream.  I also started to eat sweets for dessert in the evenings, pie or cookies, a totally unnecessary habit that I'd like to break.  Not that I don't want to ever have dessert again because that would be too restrictive and totally unrealistic. I just want it to be something special when I do have it.  The DASH diet can wait until I learn to overcome the temptation to snack mid-day and learn to control myself around desserts.
    I've noticed that the mid day energy slump has returned, and I miss having the Tiger Blood that comes with eating clean foods all the time.  
    Finally, my sleep has been great or not so great, depending on the night, or likely more specifically depending on what I ate the day or two before. I hope that this W30 experiment will help me to discover what is impacting my sleep quality. 
    My healthy habit hacks have fallen aside. It's been too long since I've had boiled eggs or carrot & celery sticks on hand in the fridge, and my last homemade mayo went moldy.  With work being super busy this summer I have been neglecting keeping the kitchen tidy after every meal, which is an energy drain when I do get back into the kitchen. To have to clean the kitchen before I start to cook is just awful. 
    So today, I will clean and organize my fridges and freezers again. I have already removed most of the junk food so its out of sight and not a temptation.  I will prepare veggie sticks and make some homemade mayo.  I will wash some romaine and boil some eggs. The kitchen will be kept clean and tidy and I will sharpen my knives.  I have a solid list of favourite Whole 30 meals that I rotate through regularly, and will prepare a full week's worth of meal plans including mostly Whole 30 for my family too.  I hope to find something to distract myself in the afternoon when I long for something sweet, maybe I'll take a walk or do some yoga.  As long as my dinner plan is made and cooking will be ready-to-go-easy, I think I will be ok.  I know I can do this because I've done it before.  I just gotta get strong and kick my Sugar Dragon til it's gone gone gone.  
     
  15. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    Wishing you well, Shadow. Take good care — we'll be cheering for you.
  16. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    @Contessa.... 
     
    Yes.  This is so very true.  
     
    It does not surprise me at all that we both have found meditation.  I've done many types of yoga over the years, but my absolute favorite has been my sole practice of the last few months - yin/restorative.  It's very meditative with the 3-7 minute holds in a pose.  I find myself to be so distracted some days that I can barely concentrate on my breath and then other days I am calm and able to focus for moments.  I am a long way from even 7 minutes of complete mental stillness, but I do like that thought that it's a path - similar to taking a hike and going on a side spur for a quick exploration before returning to the main trail.  I can definitely link some of my success to this practice and interestingly, I don't make time for it when I'm already having a tough day, as if I don't deserve to practice-ha! 
  17. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    I was off-track this weekend.  I'm not sure why I'm having such a hard time getting back to it.  I have thoughts surrounding my poor choices that involve "getting this food out of the way" and "I'm going to enjoy this right now and then get back on track"  and "Ok, once this is gone, I'm back on track (not true)."  I have not reverted back to my all-day-binge-fests, but I'm not making great choices.  And I'm not getting much exercise-I'm walking only a little in the mornings (too hot the rest of the day, got rained out of my hike on Friday and again on Saturday).  I haven't biked in over a week (schedule conflicts + heat).  I have only done yoga once in the last week (taking naps instead).  I haven't done my push-ups in about a week (hurt my shoulder and so laying off until that heals).  
    I weighed myself yesterday morning and I was down a little over a pound, which also helped cross me over into the next "10s".  I'm not having significant joint achiness, my skin still looks great, no indigestion or stomach issues....I'm not being punished for my transgressions.  I know that's not a Food Freedom mindset, but that's the reality of how I've always thought.  
    I'm playing with fire here, teetering on the edge of spinning out of control.  I've had fits and starts over the last week - lots of good meals, two whole "good" days, but lots of noncompliant snacks and a few dinners.  I think I don't really believe in my ability to comeback.  I have never successfully done it before - I always dive into the bag of chips and don't look back until I'm once again enshrouded in the cloud of misery, pain, self-loathing...now I'm back to fighting with myself.  Which is so stupid.  I'm an intelligent human being with an advanced degree who has had success with W30 and a paleo lifestyle.  There is absolutely no reason that I can't be successful again.  I have the knowledge, I have the means, I have the time, I even have the right foods readily available.  
    My youngest is about to move into his own place on August 1, just a few miles away.  I keep going back to this, empty nest syndrome, but I don't feel overwhelmed with emotion about it.  Is that because I"m taking my emotions out in food and so I'm not really feeling?  I don't know...on the one hand, I don't want to over-analyze, but on the other I'm trying to understand why I'm sabotaging myself.  I'm struggling with another relationship that's important to me, but I think part of that struggle is self-created - I've been feeling moody and anxious, which does lead me to seek comfort in sugary carbs, which creates more moodiness and anxiousness when there is no need for it... 
    So really, even though I THINK i'm not experiencing ill effects from the poor choices I've been making, the struggles with cravings (though it's honestly not a struggle, I just give in), the moodiness, the shifting in my thought patterns from success-oriented to sabotage-oriented ARE ill effects.  
    Go back to basics - I did this last week, and I had a successful two and a half days.  I got off-track again because the weather derailed my hike and I just felt sorry for myself the rest of the day (and ate a handful of Oreos).  But I still didn't fall face first into a key lime pie.  I got up on Saturday, made a good breakfast, came home and quickly poached some chicken and made chicken salad to eat in between my son's ball games...but then got rained out of a hike again and later was faced with a food truck that was different than I expected for dinner.  And there were only fried food options.  And then just gave up yesterday and had pizza for dinner (and no upset stomach as I fully expected!).  And had the last piece for breakfast this morning.  I'm trying to remember all of the good choices I've made this weekend - being kind and gentle with myself is the key to swimming out of this mire.  It's just hard when I don't understand why I'm doing this.  I just don't believe in myself.  Time to read affirmations, listen to uplifting music, make a list.  
    I know I ramble and sound whiny sometimes, but journaling really is a huge help to me.  I want to come here everyday and say that I"m doing life well...but then I remember that it's of no benefit to lie about it.  I'm only going to figure this out if I work through the struggles, get them out of my head and on the screen.  I said this last week and I really do mean this - I have a goal to come back here in a few days and re-read this and wonder why it was so hard because I figured it out again.  
    I know the keys for me - making a list of things to do today, and returning to my healthy-day list.  I just went and checked items off that list that I keep on my phone - I'm not going to get the "eat low carb breakfast" one today, but I can get all the others done.  I'm listing my meals here, then going to make my to-do list for today:
    M1-slice of sweet pepper and sausage pizza
    M2-chicken salad with celery and spinach (need to make mayo)
    M3-grilled pork chops with zucchini and yellow squash marinated in Primal Kitchen citrus herb dressing.  
    As i read back over this before posting, I realize that I have a hard time regrouping when things don't go as expected.  Something to ponder upon...off to make my to-do list and have a successful day.  
    I give myself permission to do what is right for me. I am confident in my ability to make healthy choices regarding nourishing foods and movement. I feel proud of myself when I nourish my body and soul.   I accept my emotions and let them serve their purpose. I give myself the care and attention that I deserve.
  18. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    This is so very true.  There is no on-off switch, part of moving forward could include the steps where we go from eating all of it, to eating some of it, to thinking about it,  And that's good progress.  That's so unfair to be angry/irritated/saddened by our complicated food histories, when any other relationship that we manage and make good choices about would be a source of pride.  I've been able to rise above difficulties with my MIL, but I sometimes slip back into being offended by one of her statements - however, for the most part, I'm proud of my ability to reframe, ignore, deal with her.  Why wouldn't that same mentality apply to food? 
    Kindness toward ourselves IS the first step. If I can show myself some grace, I won't feel the need to punish myself.  This is the underlying, foundational goal to work toward.  I started listening to the Jenny Odell podcast you referenced above.  Even though it's pandemic-focused, I felt the idea of just being.  Of recognizing that even when things seem stagnant, they aren't.  And that growth is recognized when looking back, not when looking from within.  
    I find it incredibly useful to think about these things and put them in writing.  I *know* this stuff, but I don't take the time to think through it and how it applies to my situation.  I so appreciate your insights, @Contessa.  
  19. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    This poor mood is my issue.  
    A friend called me yesterday because she was also feeling down...she's been walking 3+miles everyday and is my bike riding partner, but last week she was diagnosed with a stress fracture in her foot. She thinks she can still ride, but it's just been too hot here this week.  So we commiserated.  And planned a day trip to a nearby winery for outside social distancing in a different environment - I volunteered to be DD so I won't be tempted by the wine.  Plus, I looked up bike routes for when it cools a little.   And yet, I still feel down. 
    I ate a good dinner, but then decided I needed something sweet to eat.  It was that same old pattern of being encompassed by a thought ("Must have sugar") The non-appealing Twizzlers that have been on the counter for over a week were quickly torn open, a handful was grabbed, and then shoved into my mouth before I could even coherently think about what I was doing.  I write this as if I had no control over the situation, but the fact is, I didn't want control.  I could have at any point said no, walked away, stopped eating them as soon as I tasted the chemically plastic flavor.  But I didn't.  I thought those exact things through the whole process.  BUT  I DID NOT WANT TO STOP.  (and then I ate a bowl of salt and vinegar chips).
    I think partially I'm punishing myself for struggling over the last week.  I think I believe that my mood will improve if I eat crappy food...no, I know it won't.  It's that I feel crappy emotionally, so I should feel crappy physically.  I've also just had thoughts over the last few days that I need to get "these foods" out of the way - like a mini-binge pre-W30.  But why???  Sometimes the mental work feels too hard...
    My anchor habits are still in place-journaling and wake-and-walk.  My meals yesterday were great and I really haven't fallen off the wagon (yes, I'm dangling over the edge, hanging upside down and lifting my legs up in the air while still holding on, but I haven't fallen off....)
    Things that are going well:
    Journaling Walking dog first thing Push-ups - I did 3, chest-to-floor from plank position push-ups this morning.  I originally started on my stairs, with my hands on the fourth step from the bottom a few months ago.  This is an accomplishment!  I have good food available in the fridge and the ingredients to make a delicious shrimp salad My NSVs are strong - I can walk up and down the stairs easily,  this is my big marker I'm enjoying a mug of black coffee I have a pitcher of unsweetened peach tea ready to drink I have a treadmill that I could walk on, but that seems like punishment Things that have slipped:
    Exercise - I stopped working the C25k program.  I have not been for a walk of greater than 15 minutes since last Friday.   Yoga - I haven't done yoga in over a week.   My daily schedule - this helps me stay on track with completing chores and not wallowing all day. What to do:
    The heat advisory is in place until tomorrow - plan a place to go hike on Friday when it's predicted to be cooler.   Walk for 10 minutes on the treadmill.  I can play my audible book and walk for just 10 minutes.  It's not that bad.   Do a short yoga session during my regular time this afternoon.  I was derailed by a 40 minute phone call from the MIL yesterday - don't answer the phone.   Make my schedule for today as soon as I finish journaling.   Consider making a trip to the beach this afternoon.  Though, it's a little frightening that, according to the local news, I could get 2nd degree burns on the bottoms of my feet from the sand.   When I feel like eating a food that I know is not in line with my goals, go walk up and down the stairs first and see if the food is worth potentially giving that up.  Back to Day 1:
    Mood-3, Energy-5, Pain-0
    M1-pastrami and lettuce on an almond flour tortilla
    M2-shrimp salad with sliced cucumber
    M3-Primal Kitchen barbecued chicken with grilled zucchini
     
  20. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    That's success right there.  
  21. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    On a positive note, I came back here to post about my lunch.  I had half decided to order in, but nothing sounded appealing.  Except pizza.  And I'm not eating pizza because not only is it noncompliant, it will make me sick.  So instead, I started my original plan of frying a Vidalia onion in ghee.  I took a pound of grass-fed/finished ground beef and made hamburgers, seasoned with Hawaiian sea salt and umami powder.  I added a huge handful of organic baby spinach to the onion.  Piled it on my plate, topped with mustard.  I'm not always a grass-fed organic person, but making such a nourishing meal helps me regain my footing.  
    In a few days, I hope to be able to look back on this and see that I am able to weather a rough spot.  It's so easy when everything is going well, and you wonder why you ever stop eating W30, how can you possibly slide out of the pattern, especially with all the NSVs???  But it has always been a very precarious ledge for me to stand on.  
  22. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    Yes, yes!  I have been so good about figuring out how to spend my days, but with this heat I feel trapped inside....I'm lucky that I've been able to go away and spend some time with friends and family this summer.  Maybe I'm just worn down by putting on a happy face and trying to make the best of everything.  
    I think I need to listen to this this afternoon.  Things will improve, it just feels like I'm caught in a quagmire right now.  I so appreciate the 'same wavelength" post.  Thanks for letting me wallow a bit and giving me encouragement to help pull myself out.  
  23. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    Yesterday, I ate nothing but two handfuls of almonds until dinner time.  I was just not hungry - I prowled around looking for food, checking ingredient lists, but I just couldn't find anything.  I was too lazy to cook something and didn't have anything prepped.  I did my meal planning for the week and ordered groceries, which I pick up today.  I couldn't think of anything to make for dinner last night.  My husband wanted to get Mexican food so we did - I had chips and salsa and a chicken/bean/cheese/sour cream/guacamole taco salad, but couldn't finish it all.  Surprisingly, I feel fine this morning - I had corn, dairy, bean last night, but I guess it was just small quantities overall.  
    I feel lost and empty.  A post vacation let-down, with no direction, nothing to look forward to.  All the days are the same, boring, too hot to even go to the beach, no one around.  It doesn't help that my son is getting ready to move into his own place, so we'll officially be empty-nesters.  I need to re-find my motivation and direction.  
    I did get up and take a short walk with the dog this morning, ate a good breakfast (I was hungry this morning) and did my push-ups and squats.  I've created my list of things to accomplish today.  I just don't know what will help me feel better.  Maybe this low mood is related to my non-compliance????
    I guess I'll call today day 1...I definitely need to restart since I've not had a completely compliant day in a week.  
    Mood-3, energy-5, pain-0.  I slept fine last night - 7 hours, 10 min.  That's the first time in over a week that I've gotten over 6.5 hours sleep. 
    M1- 2 eggs cooked in ghee, raw spinach, a little homemade mayo
    M2-hamburger with grilled onions, sliced cucumber
    M3-Shrimp salad caesar salad
     
    Possible projects:
    create workout plan for the gym
    movies to watch
    map out bike routes, look for routes that I can drive my bike to and ride
    take an online wine class
    research what to do with my son's bedroom - my daughter's is already converted to a guest room.  
    Make a list of goals and rewards - I met my first 2 weeks of July goal, so I can order my Well Fed cookbook.  I'll think about this and list my goal either later today or tomorrow.  
  24. Like
    Contessa got a reaction from StefMonster in Contessa's Food Freedom   
    Whew. It's Thursday and I am ready to reset! I don't know what the deal is, but I have slept poorly for the past couple of nights after enjoying some decadent homemade ice cream. Last night, I had legitimate acid reflux in the middle of the night! It was only the second time in my life that I've experienced that particular barrel of monkeys. (If you've never experienced acid reflux, don't rush out and experience it. It's really awful.) I don't feel like I had eaten a ton of ice cream, but whatever I ate was not loved by my body.
    This morning, after a fitful night of sleep, before I had even changed out of my pajamas, the decadent homemade ice cream went right into the garbage. Yep, there it is, melting all over yesterday's coffee grounds and eggshells.
    I have been feeling too good to sacrifice for that ice cream. That was decidedly #NotWorthIt. So thankful to have the framework of good W30 meals to fall back on. Onward, upward.
  25. Like
    Contessa reacted to MadyVanilla in Take Advantage   
    Thank you, @Contessa!  I feel like I'm following in your footsteps, and looking forward to continuing to navigate this journey as it works for me, just as you are doing for yourself! 
     
    No impact from my one tomato yesterday-yay!!  So I ate another tomato with breakfast this morning .  Will still monitor and go back to no nightshade days for a while.  
    Day 40/60 0 days without nightshades
    Mood-8, Energy-8 (and I've been awake since just before 4 am, up and walking by 5 am) pain-1 (a little hip/back tightness while walking, probably because I was out so early). 
    Progress on goals 1) 5 minutes (!) of yoga just before bed last night 2) did my pushups and lunges this morning.  
    M1-BLTs 
    M2-Cantaloupe, avocado dip, veggies
    M3-Chicken and broccoli
    I probably won't be journaling for the next couple of days as I'll be away.  The plan is to stick to w30 even with all the restaurant eating.  Back on Saturday to update my journal!