BabyBear

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  1. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    @BabyBear NO WONDER you have such wisdom about my situation. Your words give me so much clarity and hope. Thank you! It's been a little over three years for us, too, and in that time he moved home to a rural area from his life in Chicago, cared for both parents, put his dad in a home and watched him die from a distance during quarantine on Easter; then within weeks his mom received a stage 4 cancer diagnosis and began chemo sometime after that. It's certainly been a rough go, and it's hard for me to understand why he doesn't respond to my texts, etc., and, for example, on Friday he didn't call me until 4 p.m. to invite me for a visit when he knew I had to work today and had limited time. However, he was cleaning the house in preparation for my visit. I just think he's drowning in all of it, most of all his emotions that have little to no outlet right now. That's part of what we talked about yesterday.
    Anyway, thank you again for your insights and empathy. So very, very helpful! He is a wonderful, caring man, for sure, and though I can't know how things ultimately will play out for us, I can do my best to be in the moment and supportive in ways that aren't destructive to me. That's a huge part of the learning for me here, and very much a gift. And it helps to know you've gone through this and come out the other side stronger together!
  2. Like
    BabyBear got a reaction from Jennifer Jensen in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    The distance makes it hard on both.  The years prior to marrying my hubby he was the sole care giver for his mom as her health failed for three years.  Within that year his last member of his family his older brother started getting really sick and my man insisted on getting him in front of a doctor.  Stage 4 cancer in his lungs and 8 brain tumors.  He basically became the sole care provider for his brother as well.  We lost his brother exactly one year after his mom passing.  We lived 1.5 hours from each other (not the 4 hour drive you had) but even that distance made it so hard.  Communication on your part and understanding is key.  When I got my head out of my own feelings to realize some days he didn’t have the fortitude or energy to even text back “ok” or “hi”  I remember having a hard heart to heart with him while his mom was sick and afterwards seeing that my good morning messages and my sporadic I love you and thinking about you messages throughout the day we’re keeping him going (even though I felt like they were being ignored) help me put my role of support from a distance into perspective.  I had offered many times to help relieve him to sit with his mom or brother but he never wanted me there.  I felt like I was being stuffed armed until he explained for his own sanity sake he wanted to keep me separate from all the pain.  His association with me was his happy place his place of escape as little as it was at the time and he didn’t want to taint that or expose me to the deep deep painful moments he was walking through.  I never understood his thought process there but i learned to be okay with it if it was what he needed.  After all was said and done and he had a year to really grieve and process he asked me to marry him.  He is the most wonderful man and I’m so glad I weathered that very very long storm.  I also saw how well he cared for his family and I knew that he would provide the same care for me and my kids.  Be patient with each other, stay out of your head on things. Communicate every day your support and thoughts and on goings of life even if he can’t. I’m sorry for carrying on and crying all over your log.  I just want you to know you have at least one person who understands and you can feel free to message me anytime for support.  *hugs*
  3. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Thank you, @BabyBear. You got it right 100%. I cared for both my parents in the end and have also helped him with his parents, so I absolutely know the truth of what you say. Sometimes the distance between us can lead to a feeling of disconnect that allows me to focus more on how things are affecting me rather than him, try as I do to be empathetic. We had some important heart-to-heart conversations. It's been an interesting journey to start and build a relationship while he's been the primary caregiver to his parents. I often feel I'm not the primary, because I'm not; but it's also meant I haven't ever really been able to lose myself in the relationship, which is something I've certainly done in the past. In any measure, it's been a huge period of personal and spiritual growth for both of us. And that's definitely a good thing.
    I really appreciate your wisdom and support!
    Day 41
    I've had a sore throat on and off for the past two weeks, and this morning it finally broke into sniffles. Pretty sure it's just a cold. I'm having garlicky scallops with turmeric cabbage and onions for meal 1 and inviting healing. I think I'll be OK. Just hoping I didn't bring any crud to the Dude and his mom.
    Back to my coffee and CBS Sunday Morning. My favorite ritual of the week.
    Happy Sunday, friends!
  4. Like
    BabyBear got a reaction from LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    I’m so glad you had a good visit.  Sounds like you came home in a better frame I’d mind and lighter spirits.  I’m sure it nourished his soul too.  Being the care giver to an ailing parent takes such an emotional, mental, and physical toll on a person.  I’m sure your presence provided a small sense of rest and escape from all of that.  
  5. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Thank you @BabyBear! I think it worked!
    Day 40
    I did end up going to see the Dude for about 24 hours and it was a good thing. Now I'm home again. Packed all my food, ate all my food, and am now ready for bed. We had a nice visit and spent some time hiking and enjoying the fall colors. It was good for both of us.
    Happy weekend, all!
  6. Like
    BabyBear got a reaction from LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Ah hormones they bring out the devil in me.   At least you have an understanding of why you feel this way.  As my mom always said, if you know the reasoning you can adjust accordingly.  Sending you happy thoughts for next few days.  
  7. Like
    BabyBear got a reaction from Miss T the Tarot Reader in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    @Jennifer Jensenyay I’m glad you got an official word on the oatstraw.  When I was using it to promote healing I’d make a big batch of it and keep it in the fridge.  I’d have a cup in the morning and one at night.  Typically my one at night I’d gently reheat on the stove so I could enjoy it warm.   I would have enjoyed it warm in the mornings too but I was always in a rush.  Sometimes I’d add it to a fruit/veggie smoothie. But it really is wonderful and very grounding.  I found for me it was one of those slow gradual changes.  You didn’t really notice the changes day to day but 5 months down the road I realized I was doing more with my arm and hand that was damaged with less and less pain. Journaling pain levels and abilities helped me to recognize the definite changes.  
  8. Like
    BabyBear got a reaction from Miss T the Tarot Reader in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    Also mountain rose herbs is a great source to get them from if you can’t find them local.  
  9. Like
    BabyBear reacted to Jennifer Jensen in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    It's official. I asked on Can I have...? Yes, as long as nothing else is added to it that is non-compliant. Yay! I have got to try it. @BabyBear It's a go! 
  10. Like
    BabyBear reacted to Miss T the Tarot Reader in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    I'm so interested to hear someone mentioning oatstraw here -- I got a bit obsessed with it about a year ago. I put on an event called Tea & Poetry at the local farmers market, and we had a station where people could mix their own  taisans (a.k.a. herbal teas, to take home and make teas, infusions, or decoctions). Mountain Rose Herbs kindly donated many of the materials. I researched all the ingredients and made info brochures on the medicinal qualities and history of the herbs.
    Well, it was really fun, and I ended up with a giant jar of oatstraw once it was over. I began to use oatstraw as the basis for my own teas/infusions, and then did it solo. It really called out to me. It's an amazing herb, though it seems so mild at first. I find it soothing yet warming, calming yet clear.

    To make an infusion, simply boil water, pour it over your oatstraw, and let it steep. Some prefer to brew it slowly with a lower-temperature hot water. Drink the results, and it's  W30 compliant*. It's like putting a blade of grass in your teapot, I don't see how it could be non-Whole30.*
     
    *Dude! I love Whole30, do some other types of coaching, and I write about health subjects for publication—but I am not a Whole30 coach, nor a nutritionist. Please take everything I say with a grain of salt. Ask your doctor, or Melissa Urban, or someone like that. Just tryin' to help, here, but I don't want to make myself sound like a true W30 pro.
  11. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Day 39
    According to FitBit, I'm three days out from TOM, so my cruddy mood is, I guess, right on time, unfortunately. 
    However, I'll keep on keeping on, and eat some delicious grass fed beef. So very low energy right now, though. Pilates was kind of disastrous this morning. I think I need rest. 
    I may have a nap, actually, before I do lunch, an infrared sauna, and a walk in nature. The dude asked me to travel to see him, but I suspect that will be disastrous as well, so I'll probably just stay home and rest. The thought of driving for four hours to watch him take care of his mother makes me want to poke my eye with a stick. So, yeah. I'd better go back to bed where I can't hurt anybody. . . . 
    Happy Fri-YAY to all of you not currently completely unstable.
  12. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Day 38
    Now deliberately playing with IF, and so far so good. Grateful for the drawn-out process this time around. Learning so much about myself and my body with little-to-no white knuckling. I think it's the cumulative effect of all the years of W30s and experimentation. Good to know I'm still learning--and teachable!
    Not entirely sure what my meals will be today, but I have plenty of options prepared and ready to go. It's amazing to me how returning to W30 began with a renewed food obsession and now I've wended my way through to not really thinking about food much at all. It's a good thing.
  13. Like
    BabyBear got a reaction from Jennifer Jensen in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    I mmmm not sure what the official stance is, but if taking for medicinal purposes the stance on medicine has been take it period.  So that would probably a personal perception and decision.  You don’t eat any of the oatstraw as it’s like a tea you drink.  Again if you feel like you shouldn’t on plan then wait until you finish your whole 30.  Stinging Nettle is another infusion that will help with over all inflammation and health support that would definitely be okay on plan.  
  14. Like
    BabyBear reacted to Jennifer Jensen in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    I never heard of this. I have been researching, honest. Now I have something to do. Thanks.

    I do remember being a busy frantic mom and your life seems very full. Have a great day!
  15. Like
    BabyBear reacted to Jennifer Jensen in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    Rescue Me!
    What do you do when you can't use your right arm?

     
    I made it through my last two days. I had a stabbing headache over the entire right back side of my head. It stems from my shoulder pain and would not go away without sleep. I made my appointment yesterday and then had to cancel today's. I tried to just keep going yesterday and it didn't work. So I slept in. I hate doing that but I only have enough pain to be a reminder that I still have to take it easy.   That is about all I can post about those days.
    Trying to be positive:
    Hubby ate my compliant chicken salad instead of his yesterday. I was kind of looking forward to it since I only had a snack for lunch. I made tuna salad instead and today I feasted on one of the best turkey salads ever!  Since I can't do the list of things that needs done around the house today. I will read Whole30 and do a devotional. There are a few light housekeeping items I can complete! I will not get bored and overeat. I. WILL. NOT. I will remember that there are some moms with children and some other people with frantic schedules who would love a day like this. I will try to honor them by finding something interesting to do. (Oops, first thing that popped into my head was making something with the Cricut that would definitely aggravate my neuropathy.) It'll come to me.

     
  16. Like
    BabyBear reacted to Jennifer Jensen in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    Thank you. I love it so far. I think I am actually experiencing a kind of freedom already. I thought I would die having to give up sweeteners and dairy but, oh joy, I have a world of foods to explore and I love the community! 
  17. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Day 37
    I was so hungry yesterday I ate an extra meal. TOM is due in less than a week, so I'm just calling it normal and celebrating that I listened to my body.
    Today I'm playing with Intermittent Fasting. It's part of my experiment going forward. I'm also reading up on keto, and though I've played with both in the past with lackluster results, I'm convinced again that it might be something worthwhile if I'm to stave off diabetes, the thing that killed my Mama seven years ago. I know I have a predisposition, and I'm willing to do what it takes to live healthier and happier longer. 
    Anyway, this morning has been a big cook up for me after yesterday's focus on teaching. I slept in, journaled, meditated, then got to work. Baked orange roughy with fennel and tomatoes, crock pot chicken with salsa, shrimp with garlic green beans. So happy to have plenty of meals on hand. Friday is my day to replenish what needs replenishing after pilates and a long walk in the woods, but I have plenty until then. That makes me feel good.
    Going to soak in a hot tub with BFF, hit the library, and refill my water jugs. Yoga on tap tonight via zoom with one of my favorite instructors. I signed up for a month-long of Wednesday nights with her. It'll be a very nice treat!
    Look at that: a treat that has nothing to do with food. That's what I'm aiming to fill my life with.
  18. Like
    BabyBear got a reaction from Jennifer Jensen in Schrod's recipe roundup   
    I nearly squealed like teenage girl when I found this thread.  Your food always sound so amazing, and I’m encouraged to know that you also use a recipe from time to time!   
  19. Like
    BabyBear reacted to SchrodingersCat in Schrod's recipe roundup   
    So I keep finding and trying new recipes and then forgetting them (I work on 3 diff computers so bookmarking is patchy at best), so I thought I'd start a recipe thread to post my findings, so here it is.
    Last night I made this Orange Ginger Salmon Skillet - YUM. 
    https://thecastawaykitchen.com/2020/01/orange-ginger-salmon-skillet/
    Very tasty, and very easy - I even threw it together with a migraine setting in (just wanted to eat, take drugs and go to bed before it got out of hand).
    I subbed snow peas for mushrooms as the hubster isn't a huge fan of mushrooms and the snow peas needed using up.
    Including a picture of my (not as pretty as the link, of course) plating
     

  20. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Edit:
    I did a yoga nidra session, and it reduced my stress considerably. Remembering to use my tools! I can eliminate my own suffering. . . . 
  21. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Day 35
    Enjoyed a walk and IR sauna today. Preparing for a zoom meeting and teaching tomorrow has me a little stressed. Working through it. I confronted a couple of people about not communicating with me and it affected my job. I hate having to confront people, but I find I do it more gracefully while on W30, if that makes any sense. Like I'm more willing to just deal with things head on.
    Shrimp and scallops today. Digging eating more wild-caught seafood right now. And received a shipment of my favorite green tea. Sometimes it's the little things, no?
  22. Like
    BabyBear reacted to Jennifer Jensen in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    Picture from https://www.maryjanedetroyer.com/new-york-city-registered-dietitian-criticizes-keto-diet/

    I am an unorganized, totally over-extended or completely lazy, immoderate individual desiring peace more than I desire happiness or even food. Love - I absolutely love nature because that is one place peace spreads over every part of my being until I am just glowing. A co-worker actually gave me a shirt that says, "Nature is My Happy Place." Indeed it is.

    I am a very visual person. Well today I was walking and came across a heron in the lake near my house. These birds seem so serene to me. I can just stand there and watch them and my level of peace eases on up to ten. Whole30 is like that for me.

    I have been doing Keto on and off for a year and never felt at peace. I tried adding intermittent fasting. To some extent that worked until quarantine. 

    Maybe it is because of my tendency to do things that upset my peace that I desire it so much. Dieting has never, ever brought any peace into my life. It stirs up the negative feelings just to think of the word. Giving up sweeteners and dairy would have terrified me before but because I am doing this for a reason I am at peace. I told my husband that I don't have to worry too much about quitting because my motivators are so HUGE!

    One day I will wake up and my right hand and hip will drag me out of bed for a happy dance, I am sure of it! Already my digestive issues are better. Of course, I was talking to Google the other day when we found out that I probably have low stomach acid. Reading a W30 success story, I realized that this might become a thing of the past for me soon. I was also all set for an incontinence clinic visit and, happy day, a colonoscopy. I'm cancelling those for now and will see if they are necessary after W30!

    I hesitate to write this but I am feeling so great I can't believe it! I don't want anyone else to feel bad if they are not. Believe me, my Keto flu lasted forever².   Maybe the reason why on Day 5 I am already seeing so many results is because I went through sugar and wheat withdrawal with Keto! Of course, I may just be getting ahead of myself. Who know what Day 10 or 23 will bring.

    #Whole30 #HappyPlace #Keto #NoMoreDiets #inflammation #lowstomachacid #peace #digestiveissues #motivation #nature #hip #hand #neuropathy #Day5 
  23. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Day 34
    Just back from a country drive with BFF that started in the morning. I packed a thermos and snacks and ate what I brought. BFF hit the fast food and bakeries. He's supportive of what I'm doing but not yet interested in making changes for himself. It's all good.
    So, still on track and feeling good. Enjoying a lazy weekend. Loving fall.
    Watched a couple of interesting documentaries yesterday about paleo and lchf diets for healing. Feeling more and more recommitted to this lifestyle long term. Convinced it really is how human bodies achieve optimal health. Really contemplating how to create my own food freedom forever and realizing that a much longer, slower reintroduction phase is going to be important for me. Rereading my first log from 2013 reminded me that I ended it by eating and drinking all the things on a Memorial Weekend celebration. Eager to do a careful reintro this time and really pay attention to how each food, not just food group, affects me. But I don't plan to do that until December.
    Had a food nightmare last night. My first one this round!
  24. Like
    BabyBear reacted to Jennifer Jensen in Under a Rock, or a Log, or a Stone   
    A Home for a Bunny

     
    Under a rock or a log or a stone or under the ground were some of the places this bunny went looking for home. I read the story to my sister until she had it memorized and could "read" it all by herself. My journey is a lot like this little bunny's search for a home. Sometimes the bunny searches in bunny-like places and sometimes the bunny looks in bogs and nests in trees. I feel like most of my journey has been not knowing what kind of home to look for.

    As a child I was six to eight inches taller than the other tallest kids in my class until I stopped growing at about twelve. Because I was bigger than the other kids I have always had this impression that I was fat from an early age. I was not. I was bigger and at times a little chubby but most of the time I was simply bigger.

    I wanted to be petite and skinny like my sisters, like most of my friends, but I do love food. I must confess that right now. I love fresh food best but I do love baking and all the aromas and warm memories associated with food. I love variety and trying something new is exciting to me. This applies to life not just food.

    At ten I was told to go on my first diet. This is the first time I realized I needed a new home or new way of eating. Like the bunny in this story I sometimes searched in fairly good spots that could be a home for me. This first diet was just not eating so many sweets and not eating them when my brothers and sisters were. That part did not feel like home at all. Then I started riding my bicycle to stay at the hundred pound mark.

    I would ride and ride and ride and weigh. Then I would ride and ride and ride and weigh again until I was at that hundred pound mark again. Then I would get to go swimming. Cycling and swimming felt like home but watching my siblings eat the sugary foods did not.

    In my teens I rebelled and said people should just like me the way I am. This led me down a very dark hole that definitely was not a good home for anyone.

    In college I tried a couple of other homes - The Cambridge Diet and, my most successful, I'm Gonna Get an "A" in this Class Diet. The first of these two homes was a terrible fit. I was sick and on antibiotics and only doing the shake and have never felt so ill in my life after taking an antibiotic. That was no home for a bunny.

    The second home I found was a mansion and I really thought I could live there. I lost thirty pounds in thirty days and got an "A" in my Business Management class because I had successfully changed someone's behavior. I had graphs and charts. I weighed. Every. Single. Day.

    The many, many places I searched for this home and the many, many stories I could tell, if I remembered them all. Ha! Ha!

    I did find a rock for a home for a little while. Yes, I had motivation. I was getting married and I had a wedding dress to fit into. I did not starve myself but I ate my certain meals and purchased a stair climber. I posted my wedding dress in front of the stair climber and ate my diet and exercised and weighed. I finally arrived at my goal weight! 

    Then came marriage and children and an undiagnosed autoimmune disease, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, and there was just not a place to call home. I tried so many diets but the one that discouraged me the most and gave me the best results was WW. I lost 75 pounds and it was the toughest thing I ever did. My husband went with me. My sons went sometimes and encouraged me. BUT I had to get down to 15 points to lose the weight. I was exercising so hard I was aching and my stomach was growling a lot. This was not my home.

    Hashimoto's made my life miserable for over ten years and I didn't even know why I couldn't find a home that suited me. I felt fat, lazy, and sad. I tried not to. I love my family and wanted to be different. I tried so very hard. Even when I was diagnosed, had my thyroid removed, and was treated for thyroid cancer, I did not feel like I was healthy. I had a little more energy and wasn't as depressed but still wanted to live life more. I set out in search of that home.

    My husband's super metabolism finally failed him late into his forties and in his early fifties he needed to look for a home. He found Keto and shed the weight like no one's business. I tried and failed and tried again. Not happening. Not my home.
     
    In the meantime I had been diagnosed with polyneuropathy, basically nerve problems throughout my body due to inflammation from undiagnosed Hashimoto's. Searching for a home became a necessity. My digestive system started failing me as well. I started trying to control it through diet and was sure that there was something that worked for my husband while on Keto that was working against me. It was time to look for the perfect rabbit hole and I found it in the comments of a Facebook post.

    My cousin had some serious issues and had done a diet and it had helped her, changed her health. It was Whole30. I had heard of it of course. I started researching and it looked like I "was already headed that way" like my cousin said. When I realized this could lead me to the rabbit hole of my dreams, I posted something on Facebook and found out it is also what turned my niece's life around. Yes! I'm doing this!

     
  25. Like
    BabyBear reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Day 33
    Not much to report here. I ate a little more fruit yesterday than I wish I had, but not really feeling any ill effects. I had an intense pilates session on the reformer as well as a long walk in the woods, though, so I imagine my body was just hungry, and as we know, sugars, even fruit sugars, are a readily available temptation. It's all good.
    Having a lazy day, but took the opportunity to bake some foil packets of wild-caught cod with veggies (fennel with sliced lemon and tomatoes is a new fave), so dinner is ready hours ahead of time. I may go for a long walk in a bit when I'm tired of reading. Sometimes down time without expectation is the best. Oh, especially because I had a massage this morning. BFF worked his magic on my funky shoulder. Yay!
    Happy weekend, all!