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About MicheleC

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  • Birthday 08/28/1975

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About Me

I have struggled with weight and sugar addiction from a very young age. I never really learned how to take care of myself emotionally and turned to food to deal with life. That started changing when I had finalized my divorce and thought to myself "What would happen if I took care of myself as well as I took care of him?" That started me on a path of wellness and I joined a support group and weighed and measured my food and completely abstained from all sugar and flour for a year and lost 100lbs.

I also found Crossfit around that time and enjoyed the intense workouts and discovered that I am strong! They recommended Paleo eating and I was interested in trying it. The support group I was working with gave the okay as long as I still weighed and measured and I soon found it too restricting and it sent me mentally into a tailspin. So I left to figure out what would work for me and kept trying to stay Paleo but every so often certain foods would set me off on binges that would sometimes be just one meal and other times last much longer.

I did gain back about 10 or so pounds but I am staying off of the scale because that also drives me crazy and my brain will say things like "You lost a few pounds so it is okay to reward yourself with... (insert junk food here)" and "Oh you gained so you must be punished." And I tend to punish myself with food so it is a no win situation there!

So I am going by clothes-feel and today my clothes (around size 18) are all tight and I am muffin-topped. :( Going from a size 30 to a size 18 is great and a feat but I do have stomach hang and am still working on my self conciousness in that area. I may always have a skin flap unless I choose surgery. I am at the point now where if I don't take care of myself I will have to go out and buy size 20 clothes and I don't want to do that.

So I am here doing the Whole30 and I will report back with how I feel! I am logging here for now at least to see if it is helpful for me and I am grateful to have this forum to turn to instead of food!