First, I loved the comment about how missing pasta was easy to get over with a ribeye! Ain't that the truth!
I see where you're coming from in wanting to do Whole30 over the holidays so that there are 'others imposed rules' on what you can and can't eat so that you have a reason to decline things you don't want to eat. But what if you stood in the power of what you're doing and what YOU want to eat and not eat and let that be enough? What if you used the time to practice your own food freedom - decline that bread at dinner with a smile on your face and an 'Oh, I'm good, thanks' or whatever phrase comes naturally to you that feels genuine. Sometimes I think that we think people notice what we eat and don't eat as much as what we notice of ourselves and honestly, if you're gracious and kind when you decline an item you aren't willing to eat, people move on...
If you were going to do the Whole30, you really have to be committed to it over the holidays... there's no Whole30+... If you don't think you can decline every item including butter in the mashed potatoes and ask all the questions, don't do a Whole30...
I think you CAN do one if you wanted to but I also think you're strong enough from what I've read of your posts here that you can create your own plan for the holidays and stick to it and come out in January feeling empowered that you used your own rules and feelings to get through the holidays without falling face first into everything that was offered to you just because you're not on a Whole30.
We can definitely help you make a plan... there are posts I recall where people put their own 'rules' around holidays such as 'one glass of wine at each party is acceptable - wine when I'm sitting at home by myself is not'. Or, my fave, 'no alcohol at parties but a glass of wine on Friday night sitting in the dark staring at the Christmas tree is a-ok'. Decide what's important to you as far as the spirit of the holidays, how you know food makes you feel and what you want to achieve at this festive time and set a playbook.
Forgive me if I"ve overstepped and misunderstood what it was you were looking for advice wise - always here to chat it out and help you figure out what you want to do and of course whatever you decide, we'll all support you!