Food Freedom: Wednesday, January 30
Today was not how I would have liked to eat. I felt "snacky" some time after breakfast but didn't feel like making anything. So I had some peanut butter. Except I ended up probably eating like a half a cup of it. That was not what I would have liked to do. It was not a very conscientious decision. I just didn't want to have to prepare a meal so I figured I should eat a decent amount of it. But then I really, really loved it so I kept eating it. It didn't even feel good to eat that much. But I did it anyway.
And then I didn't want to prepare dinner either. And I wanted Thai food. So I ordered takeout from a local restaurant and had Thai food for dinner. I feel good about this decision, despite that I had made it a goal to go back to 100% Whole30 eating for a little while. And it has definitely not been a little while.
Food choices are so odd. We have so many emotions and judgements built into the choices we make about what we eat. I don't want that. I just want to be able to embrace the choices I make. I don't embrace the peanut butter decision because that was just laziness and a stupid choice. I can feel good about my Thai decision because it was also laziness but at least a smart choice.
Not sure where I'm going with this. Just documenting that I'm still struggling. And that it's hard to maintain a version of food freedom that I like and can feel good about. And that I still struggle to control how much I eat when it comes to off-plan foods.
Thanks! I actually read yours as well. I actually have an Equinox pass as well (but I am in Orange County, California). It has been so hard to use it this last year after having my daughter. I really want to get back in at least a day or two a week. Especially since I can walk to the gym from work, if we work in the office over the weekend, and it's only two blocks away during the week when I am at my client! I really have no excuse! I really miss the classes. It's cool that I am only a few days behind you!