Thanks for the post @_keli and the advice @ladyshanny .
Oh boy, PMS today in the final week of my 1st Whole30...wow. I only have PMS once in a long while, usually in a high-stress month, like now. This PMS came out of nowhere like a ton of bricks. Finally dawned on me today why I wanted to EAT ALL THE THINGS and KILL ALL THE THINGS. Makes a bit more sense why I've been overdoing the apples and almond/sunflower butters last couple of days as treats to satisfy my PMS sweet cravings. Good news is I've learned so much about clean healthy mindful eating on Whole30 that I know this too shall pass and I'll get back to normal eating and normal hunger soon when the crazy hormones finally subside. Ok, thanks for listening to my PMS rant.
This really hit home with me. I'm 5'2" and fluctuate daily between 138 and 142. At the beginning of last year I was about 13 pounds more. I'm here for similar reasons, I want to achieve food freedom and stop worrying about calories! My goal is 125 since I will always have muscular thighs and wider hips.
I also have a tendency to overeat when emotional or when I'm alone or when I have a trigger food and just can't stop... Food has always been a big part of my life, but I was thinking about it the wrong way. Not every celebration requires food, I can treat myself to a hot bath or give myself some down time. Just because I think I'm hungry every two hours doesn't mean I actually am. I'm finding new ways to find comfort and fun, but I'm also getting some of that by spending more time with food. I don't usually cook more than one meal a day, and that's usually with short cuts. I used to eat a quick breakfast at my desk every morning, now I get up and cook a full meal to start my day and it feels great! I'm finding recipes that incorporate some of my favorite foods so I'm excited to eat, not grudgingly downing some soggy veggies.
Like you said, I feel like it's given me control over my life. For a long time I felt trapped in a body I wasn't sure I could change. Now I know that I can do things to make it better. If I treat my body well, it'll treat me well and the same with you! I know you'll get to your goal and have a great time at the wedding! Thank you for writing so thoughtfully. It helps to know others are going through similar things.