Angelia

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  1. Like
    Angelia reacted to DonnaGail in Keto to Whole30 and hungry ALL THE TIME   
    I started cooking Whole30 meals about 3 months prior to starting Whole30 which I am doing mostly for my husband to lose weight. I did mine about 3 yrs ago and have maintained my weight. Not wanting to cook every night, I made lots of meals and froze the ones that could freeze or froze the part of the recipe that could freeze or we ate left overs the following night. He told me be has not been hungry yet after two weeks. I have also been creating an Excel spreadsheet to include all compliant foods and where to find them. I have dedicated several pantry shelves and my refrigerator with nothing but compliant foods. It is starting to get so easy to not only do the Whole30 but continue eating healthy foods that contain no sugars. When I go outside house, I always bring snacks with me. I went to an outdoor music venue on Wed. Prior to going in, I rolled up 2 egg and cauliflower crepes (from Costco) with a slice of turkey (from US Wellness Meats) and saerkraut. When I entered the venue, instead of alcohol, I ordered a cup of ice water and added my own shot of cranberry juice (the kind that says no added sugar) and a shot of lemon juice. I felt comfortable hanging out with the other drinkers. I wasn't hungry and had no problem skipping the hot dogs and nachos the venue offered for purchase. It is really about researching and preparing ahead of time.
  2. Like
    Angelia reacted to DonnaGail in Heavy legs and unable to run for anymore than 4Km   
    Figs! Power fuel food. Just discovered them at Costco. Mix with compliant nuts, raisans,  (Sunmade brand), dried craisins, raisins, etc. Was a lifesaver for me during hiking and backpacking.
  3. Like
    Angelia reacted to Emma in Whole 30 (July 2)   
    Good luck with that!!!  I love good bad tv and I have had my share of late nights when I shouldn't! Thankfully, I can't watch tv while putting the kids to bed or I'd be in real trouble.
     
    I woke up again last night around three, but I was able to go back to sleep. It wasn't great sleep, but it counts. I finally got up at five o'clock which is earlier than I want to be up. Work went well, but it was a high stress day and then a meeting afterwards and then a training and we finally got home at 8. I just cooked up some lamb, cabbage, and onions and will probably eat a little too much.
    Last night I also had gas! I don't usually. Olives, lara bar, meat bar, eggs and squash - I'm not sure what triggered it. Or maybe I drank more water than I have been and my body's digestive system is just a bit out of wack.  Earlier tonight I had a blue cheese salad. I'm not sure what the dressing is made with - definitely no soy or canola oil listed, but mayo is listed and I suppose weird things could be in there.  The dressing also included sour cream.  I don't notice anything though I do have a little cough right now, but I think that's related to my undercooked onions.
    I'm tired. I'm enjoying feeling thinner. I'm still not thin. That would be another 40 pounds away, but wow - I'm now in an okay zone. I'm enjoying that I can walk up and down the stairs and my joints which used to be so unhappy are handling things. I sometimes feel little twings and I know my knees and ankles did not magically heal, but they have a heck of a lot less weight to deal with and I think they're appreciating that. I am. I've lost 45-55 pounds which is more than a big bag of dog food and I sure don't like carrying big bags of dog food up the stairs.
    But NSV's - just feeling healthier - bolder - more confident that I won't catch every bug that goes around - contentdedly happy eating my lamb, onion, cabbage dinner instead of processed stuff, feeling full, but not bloated, and hopeful, and liking who I see when I look in the mirror.
  4. Like
    Angelia reacted to Sweetbrook in Starting Whole30 Monday Sept 16   
    You are so right!!! I need to continue on the forum after the 30 days!! The 30 days is the easy part!!  Day 5 tomorrow!!
  5. Haha
    Angelia got a reaction from Emma in Whole 30 (July 2)   
    OMG - SO FUNNY!  My Wednesday nights are always my challenge due to my schedule which is fully self-inflicted.  I don't get home until after 9, but usually have dinner on the road (although I didn't last night) and then I sit my exhausted ass in front of the TV show Botched and I CAN'T LOOK AWAY!!  It's like a car crash.  Every Wednesday I remind myself that I'm going to feel like crap the next day if I don't shut it off and get to bed, but I want to watch just until the next commercial, then the one after that, then I might as well see the final results, then I want to see the intro of the next episode, etc., etc.  I need to treat Botched like added sugar and just cut it out completely!!
  6. Like
    Angelia reacted to Twixt in Keto to Whole30 and hungry ALL THE TIME   
    Hi all,
    I transitioned from 2 months of Keto directly into Whole30 this month. This is my first Whole30 and I was so excited to have fruit and a wide range of veggies again, and to continue working on training myself out of bad eating habits. My body was already accustomed to some of the restrictions (no grains, no alcohol), and my mind was accustomed to restrictions in general (yup, haven't had chocolate since June), so I arrogantly figured the only hard parts would be no dairy, ignoring the impulse to track macros, and not loading up my coffee with some (any) form of sweet deliciousness.
    I was wrong. Cutting out dairy was easy, not tracking is as simple as breathing, and it only took two days to start enjoying my coffee with only a splash of compliant nut milk. What I DIDN'T see coming was a constant ache of hunger.
    One of the best things about Keto for me was that I was never hungry. My cravings didn't exactly disappear (I'm always in the mood for something sweet. Seriously, always.), but I just forgot to snack. Not exactly a rave review of my abilities at impulse control, but it helped me change my habits. I learned to plan and prepare meals deliberately, which I planned to continue during Whole30 - knowing that cutting out one of my main sources of fat (dairy) would mean I'd have to find it in other places, a week before starting my Whole30, I started replacing butter with oil when I cooked.
    My first week was great. I didn't get many serious side effects and knowing my tendency to overdo it, I limited my fruit intake. It was great to reintroduce all the veggies, but my favorites are mostly the ones that are Keto-friendly anyway, so my meals didn't actually change that much. But within days, I noticed that my stomach felt empty ALL THE TIME. Within an hour (usually less) of eating a full meal, my stomach forgets about it. At first I figured it was a transition thing, but I'm on day 18 and still feeling it. In fact, I've started to notice that I'm usually hungrier after I eat than before. Before you jump in: yes, I eat plenty - two months of counting will give anyone a basic understanding of how many calories they're consuming; yes, I'm getting plenty of fiber and healthy fats, though not in the proportions I was getting on Keto; no, my activity level has not changed; and yes, I'm staying hydrated.

    All this to ask: Has anyone else done this, and did this happen to them? It's uncomfortable, distracting, and I want it to stop. I'm committed to my 30 days, but it'd be really great if they were comfortable. I'm missing out on prime Tiger Blood, here.
  7. Like
    Angelia got a reaction from petitemortuaire in Whole180   
    Almost 10 years ago I did this same thing for too long with beer.  I would make this big to-do over sitting down to relax, watch a little TV and have a beer.  Which often became 2 or 3 and almost became a problem.  And it helped me to avoid (not manage) family stress and added to my weight problem.  When I finally took a look at this problem I realized - I can sit down and watch TV whenever I want to, I don't have to be drinking a beer to do it!  So basic.  But it was one of the early steps in the right direction for me! 
  8. Like
    Angelia got a reaction from petitemortuaire in Whole180   
    Almost 10 years ago I did this same thing for too long with beer.  I would make this big to-do over sitting down to relax, watch a little TV and have a beer.  Which often became 2 or 3 and almost became a problem.  And it helped me to avoid (not manage) family stress and added to my weight problem.  When I finally took a look at this problem I realized - I can sit down and watch TV whenever I want to, I don't have to be drinking a beer to do it!  So basic.  But it was one of the early steps in the right direction for me! 
  9. Like
    Angelia reacted to petitemortuaire in Whole180   
    Day 3 (9/17/19)
    M1: three eggs + roasted bell pepper and eggplant hash + pea shoots + crispy trout skin + avocado oil + salt M2: pan-seared trout + avocado oil + rosemary + salt + lemon juice + pea shoots + sungold tomato + green olives + green beans + lemon zest + olive oil M3: pork shoulder + garlic + salt + arugula + sungold tomato + + red bell pepper + cholula + green olives Had a BM this morning upon waking. It was relatively loose and pretty dark, same as yesterday.i struggled with sugar cravings at work and almost instinctively reached my hand into the communal candy bowl for a mid-afternoon treat while walking past it, but was able to continue on without it. Last night, while falling asleep, I dreamt of accidentally eating cookies and felt so guilty!
    One of my big fears in committing to this process is being so mindless about my eating that I accidentally eat something non-compliant. But that’s one of the habits im trying to work on: mindless eating. It’s been helping to avoid eating meals while watching television (a common practice of K and I). Eating only three sustaining meals per day (vs. constantly grazing on/overeating whatever food is around) is also helping a ton. Eating at work has been a real challenge for me over the last three years. There’s always some kind of treat in the back office for folx to share and I always take a LOT. It feels instinctual. It’s like there’s a voice inside me that says “take a lot and eat it all… you never know when you’ll get food again.” I know that this is a human instinct that actually served a purpose at one point in history, but I think the impulse to eat whatever food is available has intensified in me for a few reasons:
    I grew up in a household where I was not allowed to leave the kitchen table until I’d finished all of my meal. I was literally not allowed to stop eating when my satiety cues said it was time to. As a result, I often don’t know how to recognize or listen to my body’s satiety signals, and usually feel compelled to finish whatever I’ve put on my plate, even if I recognize before eating it that I’m not even hungry for it. Often, even as I’m preparing a snack, I’ll think “im not hungry for this,” but eat it anyway because I’ve already gone through the effort of taking it out and plating it. If I don’t finish the food I front of me, I feel intense guilt. I'd rather eat when I’m not hungry, beyond the point of fullness, than put something back or throw it away. My anxiety often presented as nausea and intense vomit phobia, so whenever I was hungry enough to eat (or not even hungry, but calm enough to stomach eating without worrying that I’d throw up), I would eat whatever I could. In grad school, I would use eating as an excuse to avoid doing academic work (“If I’m in the middle of eating, I can’t work on that paper,”etc.). To prolong my procrastination, I’d end up bingeing; eating for an extraordinary length of time, beyond the point of feeling full. Looking back, I can recognize this as a misguided attempt to numb my emotions and avoid the discomfort and stress that came with grad school. I continued this pattern of eating as avoidance of feeling/responsibility nearly every day. I still do it. The responsibilities and feelings I’m trying to avoid have changed over time,  it th coping strategy remains the same. Well, that’s probably enough self-analysis for tonight. None of these insights are new, actually. Knowing them has only rarely helped me out of the that unhelpful pattern. I’m hoping that, through this process, I’ll be able to dig a little deeper, uncover what’s left to be understood, and work towards healing in a more significant way.
  10. Like
    Angelia reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Starting Whole30 Monday Sept 16   
    Day 2 is going well for me.  Breakfast took a full hour this morning, including eating it and dishes.  I made the Diner Breakfast from the Whole30 cookbook.  I’m looking forward to learning to cook meals from scratch. I’m 55, and I’ve always relied heavily on commercially prepared foods, it was just so much quicker.  I’m going back into the kitchen now to cook meatballs from scratch and spaghetti squash.  The sauce will be by La Dee Da Gourmet Sauces (W30 compliant).  I have to cook a 2nd dinner tonight for the rest of the family, pasta with ground beef and non-compliant Ragu sauce, because it’s what they’ll eat.  Progress, not perfection...
    How is everyone else’s Day 2 going?
  11. Like
    Angelia reacted to Emma in Whole 30 (July 2)   
    A pound a week is great!  I'm also losing weight and I've gotten on the scale at home, but it isn't really accurate so I don't really know how much until I use the one at the gym. It doesn't really matter because I can see and feel how clothes are sitting on me differently. Today I put on a jacket that was tight last winter and now it's loose. It was a really nice feeling. And my pants are dragging around my feet again because there is less leg to lift up the material. It's all good stuff.
    The sugar dragon is scary. I also have a tame gecko. I might even have a reptile free house at this point. In fact, I think I do. But I know, just like spiders seep in through the crevices when it rains, so do geckos, lizards, anoles, and dragons. Congratulations to getting through the weekend urges and the comment about it being an effort every day.  Right now, I'm not feeling much effort, but I also feel like I'm cheating because I'm not going out of my safe zone - which is fine for now, but the real work is being able to eat and drink other things without going down the chute.
    Work today was so much better than yesterday. Home life this evening was good too. Not great, but good. There's so much to get done and I'm still so thankful that I've got this energy and health to muster through it fairly gracefully. Last night in bed I pictured myself waking up early and taking the dog for a walk. It was such a nice idea. And then this morning I woke up early and made coffee and read the computer. A walk would have been nice, but the coffee was nice too. Walking might be better for my soul, but my being is feeling a bit taxed so I'm not making myself do anything. Thus, why I haven't gone to the gym also. 
    For dinner tonight, I again had my zucchini, onion, egg thing. It was filling and good. Before that, Ii chowed down on a bunch of cashews and salami which wasn't so good. And right before that I had a Greek Salad with feta cheese. It was a lot to eat in a short period of time, but overall, no big negatives. I might be a bit bloated, but not anything uncomfortable. I saw my chowing down behaviors and realized I needed to make something more substantial. Once I ate the zucchini egg dish, the pillaging stopped. Tomorrow will be a hard day too with lots of kid activities after school into the evening so I'm going to have to plan ahead. Maybe I can run to the store in the morning and pick up some more greens and veggies. Or maybe I can cook up the lamb and cabbage that's in the fridge when I wake up. Alas, no onions in the house!
    Who knows what the morning will bring. I'm off to sleep and will hopefully wake up early.
  12. Like
    Angelia got a reaction from Emma in Whole 30 (July 2)   
    Hi Emma!  I lost you there for a bit, but found you again and have now caught up.  All of this (food/health/family/work/life) is an amazing challenge, is it not?  I think one of the hardest things for us as humans is to find joy in everyday life.  It is a constant work in progress.  But you keep saying something positive with each post, so I believe you are on the right track! 
    Now that I'm well past day 30, I'm weighing again and I'm pretty content with what I'm seeing.  The usual ups and downs, but I'm averaging about 1 lb lost per week. 
    The joy I continue to celebrate is the sugar dragon is now a tame little gecko.  She can be ignored and brushed aside fairly easily.  The one time she flared up was Friday night.  Possible factors: end of a work week, daughter home from college for the weekend, added an extra gym session, not planning to have wine until Saturday.  I was SO, SO glad I did not have anything at home that would have served as sugar dragon fuel!  The urge was very concrete.  But I got through it.  It's an effort every day, but that day it was a big effort and I beat it!
  13. Like
    Angelia got a reaction from Emma in My Journey from a Day 31 perspective   
    Now that the kids are grown, I have a little more disposable income so I also got braces and Lasik surgery.  Both of these were VERY GOOD decisions for me!  We're not getting older, we're getting better!! 
  14. Like
    Angelia reacted to Danna W in Planning to start September 1. Are you?   
    Hi all. Day four for me. I want to take a moment to be still and dwell upon how much I truly love my dishwasher. The part in the book about "Who's going to do all these dishes" speaks to me. As the queen of microwave meals - who's trying to abdicate - I usually just have a pile of forks to wash. Not complaining, this is my idea of funny.
    In four days I've already started a little list of NSVs. At the top, I haven't had a Prilosec in four days. I'm so stoked. 
    @nrmoody415 I haven't felt bad either and I'm on my first Whole30. I was also afraid I was doing something wrong so I spent considerable time looking up every ingredient I'd used to make sure I wasn't smurfing this up. Maybe it's going to hit me later, but I feel great right now. 
  15. Like
    Angelia reacted to CarolMaureen in Planning to start September 1. Are you?   
    Hi There
    This is my second attempt this year.  I have completed two in the past.  My son is doing the Keto and lost 50 lbs and has motivated me get started.  He is willing to do the whole 30 with me, and with my daughter at college I can keep and whole 30 compliant house!   I am 55, have about 20 lb to lose (any would be good). I am going through menopause and nothing else has worked.  I have a bunch of minor issues  including high blood pressure and high cholesterol.    I am due to get my blood work done in the next week or two so it will be interesting to see where I am.  Mostly I want to feel better.  This is the first year I have felt pain.    I look forward to all the encouragement.  Carol
  16. Like
    Angelia reacted to Amada Grace in I Quit Smoking and Started Eating— I start Whole 30 tomorrow!   
    Hi fellow travelers :) I am 30 years old, a secretary, a recovering alcoholic (4.5 years sober), and am currently playing whack-a-mole with other less destructive but equally distressing addictions. I quit smoking/vaping this past Monday and it has really been a tough week. I ate sweets every time they were around and as a result I am just feeling flat out ‘ugh’ in a word. I am committing the next 30 days to the whole 30 process in hopes of helping my body to recover and detoxify from the harmful chemicals that are transmitted through all nicotine products, and subsequent sugar that I’ve inundated my system with this week, to regulate my hormones as much as possible. I don’t have any food allergies or adverse reactions to foods, so I’m not troubleshooting anything like that. But I do notice a difference in my moods and spiritual connection, focus, energy, and sleep when I eat certain kinds of foods. I hope to gain more insight into how I can remove obstacles to living a full and unimpeded life through this journey. 
  17. Like
    Angelia reacted to Amada Grace in Planning to start September 1. Are you?   
    Hi all! It’s great to see so many who are starting at or around the same time; I start my W30 tomorrow. Just a thought: if any of you would be interested in teaming up for accountability— I’d really love some ladies to call on when the going gets tough and would love to lend an ear as needed. I have 4.5 years of sobriety from alcohol (primarily) and have gotten through many highs and lows during this time  with the help of personal accountability friends and a sponsor. There is something to this practice and it helps sometimes when nothing else does. I don’t know if this is allowed (if not perhaps the moderator can let me know) but if it is and you’re interested please email me at  . As a woman, I am seeking only female accountability, please


  18. Like
    Angelia reacted to Pied Piper in Starting today - August 19   
    Day 30! I can’t believe it! I feel so good and may modify my reintroductions, thinking I may start with peanuts and wait for the weekend to “take my dose” of alcohol. I’ve been reading “It Starts With Food”, which is really inspiring me to keep this lifestyle as my regular routine, allowing occasional exceptions once I determine which offenders to ban altogether - those that have been contributing factors in my brain issues.
    30 days of comfort food/alcohol restrictions in exchange for a mind that feels 30 years younger? Not such a difficult sacrifice!
  19. Like
    Angelia reacted to Melinaka in Monday 9/9/19 State Date- anyone else?   
    I just logged in for support, hoping someone was starting today too. 
    Yay! I'm not alone. 
    I need support. It's been too long since I've done W30 and I NEED to do this...
  20. Like
    Angelia reacted to JUJU1 in Introducing myself to whole30   
    Hi everyone, Im excited but still have loads of questions so I'm looking through the forum. I started today and have done my shopping and I am now prepping food. I bought the book so I am working through it.
  21. Like
    Angelia reacted to PaleoPatronus in Starting Whole30 Monday Sept 16   
    Hi Sweetbrook,
    Welcome back to Whole30! I know what you mean, being on Whole30 somehow makes it easier to eat healthy because you’re bound to the rules and don’t really have to make decisions about if you should eat something off plan. 
    On my most recent Whole30, I tried to be very introspective and reflective and see if there were any lessons I could bring forward once the program had ended. I used the Whole30 Day but Day guide to help guide these internal conversations. 
    I came to the conclusion I was just overall not being mindful. I wasn’t really thinking through consequences of eating inflammatory foods (other than the consequences of weight gain and less attractive appearance - which just makes me feel bad about myself and makes me want to eat more). 
    Since then I’ve been careful to ask myself how eating something will make me feel physically and mentally vs just thinking about if it will “make me fat”. I’ve also been traveling a lot and have focused on making time to buy non-perishable groceries BEFORE I leave town so I can get right back on my typical paleo diet the day I return to town instead of continuing vacation style eating another week.  This has really helped me stay on track and I don’t feel the need to do a full Whole30 anytime soon.
    I really hope your Whole30 is successful and makes you feel great!!! 
     
  22. Thanks
    Angelia reacted to Emma in My Journey from a Day 31 perspective   
    Wow - you look like a whole new person and so much younger. I figured when I was turning 50 that it was time to get my act in gear so that I could enjoy this half of the journey instead of get old in it. It's good seeing other people who have been successful and have made the deeper changes. Thanks for sharing the photos!
  23. Like
    Angelia got a reaction from Emma in My Journey from a Day 31 perspective   
    Thank you!!  I AM in such a good space!  There are before and after pics in my profile, if you can find that.  I wouldn't have spent my youth dreading middle age if I'd only known how much I was going to enjoy it! 
  24. Like
    Angelia got a reaction from Emma in My Journey from a Day 31 perspective   
    On Saturday, I joyously reintroduced red wine!   I had been looking very forward to that!!  And it went fine, no ill effects, no over consuming.  I'm planning to keep this as a once per week item but will move to a dryer wine. 
    One thing I did finally put my finger on last Saturday was how much my "taste buds" have changed.  Some things that I never thought of as sweet now taste very sweet to me.  I bought a few LARA bars to have on hand that I did not eat during my W30, so on Saturday I had one as a rushed snack on the way to a late lunch.  I have never liked dates (but love figs), but dates are often used to sweeten recipes without sugar so I don't make those recipes.  My LARA bar was nuts, coconut and dates - and I LOVED it!  I was expecting to turn my nose up, but it was delicious.  Then the red wine I chose was just a "dry red table wine", one if my favorites.  It tasted so sweet to me that I actually wondered if they had mislabeled Sangria?  My last example is strawberry skyr yogurt.  Prior to W30, I could eat it but always thought of it as more sour/bitter than sweet.  Yesterday it tasted like frosting!  I really like this recalibration of my definition of sweet!
    So about the yogurt - I was planning to give it 2 days after Saturday wine before my next reintro, but my fella took me out to Sunday lunch to an Italian family restaurant.  I was planning on a salad, but saw their Chicken Primavera.  It was described as a "light and delightful grilled chicken dish over fresh vegetables and penne".  I ordered it without the penne and it arrived SWIMMING in Alfredo sauce.  When they placed it in front of me I thought - Well, I guess today is when I reintroduce dairy....  and I was SO GLAD this did not happen during my W30.  I ate 1/2 the dish, then got the strawberry skyr yogurt for the afternoon, and then put plenty of shaved parmesan on my grilled shrimp and spinach salad for dinner.  The Italian chicken dish was delicious, the yogurt was VERY sweet and the cheese on my salad was fine, but certainly not a requirement for next time.  I think my bottom line is that I don't really miss dairy that much.  I don't plan to add it back much if at all, but I won't make a scene trying to avoid it, either.   So far today I seem to be a little "backed up", which may be a result of the dairy?  However, I'm not planning to give any updates in that department.  We don't need to know each other that well!! 
  25. Like
    Angelia reacted to petitemortuaire in Whole180   
    Almost five years later and I’m back again.
    Four and a half years ago I successfully completed a Whole100 (read the whole thread here).  I was able to off-road successfully for a while afterward, but starting in 2016, habitual eating patterns crept back in. In the three and a half years that followed, I gained 50 lbs, reached the heaviest weight I’ve ever been at, and relapsed HARD i terms of emotional eating and using food as a way to cope with distress. Thinking back, I can identify a number of factors that contributed to this:
    I stopped journaling about my experience. Quite simply, without logging my experience and taking the time each day to reflect on my eating behaviors, I lost a sense of accountability and got better at rationalizing unhelpful choices.  I stopped having daily check-ins with my best friend and accountability buddy, M, who introduced me to the Whole30 in 2013. M and I had done the Whole100 together and kept in touch about it daily. Without that extra layer of support and accountability, I experienced a backslide into unhelpful behaviors.  I went vegetarian. Since 2015, I’ve been dating (and am now engaged to!) K, who returned to a vegetarian diet in 2016. I learned more about vegetarianism and decided to transition to a vegetarian diet for a few reasons: Ecological impact/global warming/sustainability Ethical treatment of animals Apparent promise that eating vegetarian would lead to better health Desire to lose weight that I gained since stopping my Whole100 When I switched to a vegetarian diet and cut a main source of fuel from my meals (animal protein), a returned to eating dairy. From my Whole100 reintroductions, I KNEW that dairy would fuck me up, but I ate it anyway (because what else do you eat if you’re vegetarian??). Of course, I started gaining weight and experienced a resurgence of acne (which I struggled with severely as a teen). After a few months, I got frustrated with this and decided to cut out dairy completely to lose the extra weight I had gained and calm my breakouts.  I went vegan. After cutting out dairy for a few months, I decided that I was close enough to vegan to just go for it full force. But with cutting out eggs came eating more grains and legumes, and predictably, more weight gain.  I could only sustain veganism for about six more months and have since struggled to find a way of eating that fits my values and my body’s needs.  I experienced significant mental health concerns, trauma, and stress. In 2016-2017, my anxiety disorders and depression reached peak severity. This came about as a result of moving away from my support system to complete my doctoral degree and learning to navigate a relationship with K, an alcoholic. During this year I also worked a full time job and drove 12 hours every weekend. I constantly ate on the road and chose convenience/processed foods over food that I prepared. Since 2017, I’ve been working a highly stressful and emotionally taxing job as a therapist (note: the stress is related to the institution I work for, not the profession itself) and studying to become a licensed psychologist.  I returned to emotional eating. To deal with the stress of my job, my relationship, and my doctoral program, I relied on food to soothe me. This is a deeply-rooted pattern I’ve had since childhood. I started Prozac. I’m super grateful to therapy, 12-step meetings, and Prozac for helping me get my anxiety and depression in check. However, Prozac essentially eliminated my satiety signals. Emotional eating + eating no satiety signals = lots of weight gain. I joined a weight loss study. Through the study, we had to log all of our calories and weigh ourselves every day. I cannot emphasize enough how much this kind of self-monitoring fucked me up. I already knew from experience that this approach does not work for me, but I was desperate to feel healthier and was not ready to give up vegetarianism. I dropped out of the study early and ended up emotionally eating even more than when I started.  Archetypically and psychologically, I’m a nurturer.  I tend to over-source my self-worth from the act of nurturing others (I am worthy because of how I help you”). When out of balance, this psychological schema shows up in two ways: Over-identification with the schema (e.g., difficulty saying “no” to others, going along with something I don’t want to do to avoid rocking the boat, poor self-care, desire to control others).  In a major way, this led to me going with what helped the planet and aligned with my partner’s way of being (vegetarianism) despite evidence that this approach to eating was not supporting my health. Withdrawal from the schema (e.g., abdicating responsibility to others, abdicating responsibility to self, complete lack of self-control). This often showed up as eating foods and quantities of foods that were unhealthy for me because I was too emotionally exhausted to care.  My weight and health have been deprioritized, but I’m ready to make a change. I’m choosing to do a Whole180 (rather than a Whole30 or Whole100) for a few reasons:
    The last time I felt healthy and strong was when I was working my Whole100. I know from experience that eating this way is what supports my health best. 100 days was not enough to change my relationship with food. The biggest hurdle for me is my sense of self-worth and the ways that it impacts my relationship with/use of food.  The foods that are eliminated during the Whole30 tend to be my trigger foods and those that I eat emotionally. Going for 180 days (at least) will give me the time I need to work towards changing my behaviors around food AND my psychology around food.  Factors supporting the success of my Whole180:
    I accept that my relationship with food and the way I use it needs to change for good.  I accept that I am not, and will never be a “moderator” when it comes to using food. I’m 100% an abstainer.  I’m keeping a log here, which helps keep me accountable. I’m keeping in touch with M, who understands the process.  K is on board.  K is actually OK with eating some meat. He understands that what works for him and his body (naturally slender) does not work for me or mine. We’ve been able to come to an agreement about sourcing animal protein: it comes directly from the humane farms near us or not at all. My psychological health is a major focus this time. So, as of yesterday (9/15/19), I started my Whole180. I’ll be here, updating regularly. Very likely daily. I’ll log my meals, recipes, BMs (my favorite and most reliable indicator of health), and insights, especially as they relate to my psychological relationship with food. I’m nervous and excited for the months ahead.
    Starting stats:
    Age: 29 Height: 5’2” Weight: 209.6 lbs Bust: 44” Waist: 37” Hips: 50” Upper arm: 18” Upper thigh: 30”