MadyVanilla

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  1. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to Contessa in Contessa's June Realignment   
    Food journal for 6/5/20:
    Breakfast: 2 eggs + spinach + ground turkey
    Lunch: diced sweet potato and white potato + broccoli + ground turkey with Garlic Everything sauce
    Snack: ~3 oz cashewmilk "yogurt"; 3-4 pieces "Crunchies" fruit snacks. The Crunchies are probably not a good idea even though they are literally just freeze-dried strawberries, blueberries, and bananas with no additives. They taste quite sweet after a few days away from my packaged cookies. I have not eaten many crunchy foods this week, and I miss them. The crunch, man. We homo sapiens really love the crunch.
    Dinner: butternut squash apple soup + ground turkey; ~5 oz kombucha; 3 slices granny smith apple + almond butter
    I have been noticing myself running out of gas very abruptly during the day.... going from "fine" to "extremely hungry" in a very short span of time. I think I need to eat more fat.
    Sugar cravings have been pretty vivid today. Am I catching the scent of a forthcoming Forbidden Dessert Dream on the horizon? I remember previous W30s — halfway through, I'd start to get the most vivid dreams about surreptitiously chowing down on piles of luscious frosted donuts. (Sidebar to my unconscious mind: I really don't like donuts. Not even when I'm awake. Choose better.) Sugar has been a loyal comfort food and refuge for me for so long. It's always the part of a Whole 30 that is the hardest to live without. Sugar also does not "promote a healthy psychological response" in me, at least not in the vast quantities I've consumed at various points in my life. I have spent much of my adult life trying to find "food freedom" and am still on that journey. I actually feel so much safer right now simply knowing I am not interacting with sugar right now. Sigh.
  2. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to Contessa in Take Advantage   
    Very interested to hear your opinion of Atomic Habits after you dig into it. I've heard a couple of interviews with the author and it sounds solid.
    Honestly, there are so many elements in your story that make me think that I may be your Long Lost Yet Fully Anonymous Whole 30 Twin. (Okay, that's probably a stretch.) Really, though: glad you are reflecting on your experience here; I resonate with so much of it.
  3. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to Blueautumn in Take Advantage   
    I hope you enjoy it. It has some interesting insights in it and very interesting tidbits about how/why our brains do things. So its easier for me to stick with this because i mentally think about where i am placing that check mark to reinforce what behavior. That sugar dragon banks on check marks going into its column to keep it strong! Though my lack of sweet cravings makes me wonder if there has been a dairy dragon this whole time who beat the sugar dragon back so that he has dibs  

    I am all on board for you starting tomorrow! My original plan was to start June1 and then after goin through the forums and reading the book i was like - pft why am i putting this off. Now im 7 days farther ahead than i would be if i had put it off! who knows maybe i wouldn't have even made it that far. You deserve to feel good mentally and physically STAT even if its sometimes easier to just push it one more day.
    <3 you got this
  4. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to Blueautumn in Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log   
    Day 12 June 4
    M1 - chicken pot pie casserole nom nom nom
    M2 - chicken pot pie casserole nom nom nom again and some celery sticks also ate some cashews to make sure i would make it through the work shift
    M3 - um... pretty sure it was chicken pot pie casserole LOL
    Okay so welcome to my super exciting day where i literally just kept eating chicken pot pie casserole. I do this with leftovers all the time. This was why I wanted to make something besides that potatoe soup because i was living off potatoes for a few days there ROFL.
    At the very least the casserole does have different kinds of veggies - potatoes, peas, carrots and brocolli and lots of chicken so i see that as a well balanced win. I also add raw red onion to all of it because well red onion is the bomb diggity.
    It keeps me full and I love the taste. I literally dont see the point in making other food if I have something already made thats delicious - I mean im pretty sure ill just be making it again on my first day off because it takes all the thought out of what ill be eating for the next few meals and i love that.
     On that note though, i am fully aware i run the risk of getting bored with since im eating it all the time. Ideally i would have two bulk item leftovers that i can rotate for a few days - my plan this weekend is to do another casserole and a beef stew. I also have tuna made so that would give me three protein packed food options to choose from in case i dont feel like cooking. Then of course i got lots of eggs which are also very easy to make.
    I am trying to work in salads of some sort - like leafy greens but i need to find a dressing i like. The primal kitchen dressings arent really my thing (ive tried the ranch and the green goddess) but i still have their ceasar option to try and i need to look for recipes for some creamy ones that i can make with my homemade mayo or something. I attempted to just eat the greens without dressin - nope. not gonna happen. Ive given up cheese for now but i refuse to just munch on grass like a rabbit.
    Still not really a fruit person. I have some at work with me in case i want something compliant to snack on or to add some substance to a meal if it doesnt seem to be hitting the spot. Its just not the same kind of sweetness that my sugar junk food is and i dont need sweet simply for the sake of sweet so im kind of just ignoring them, but they are in my kitchen if i ever change my mind.
    My day 12 and today my day 13 ive noticed the just "eh" feeling. I know i have more energy because i spent 2 hours making that casserole after work on thursday which was a feat in of itself. The fact that i didnt just plop down on the couch and binge some tv till bed is such a huge improvement to my normal routine. But im feeling like super neutral about it at the moment instead of excited? I think this is the phase where the newness has worn off but i havent been totally fixed already so why bother? The interesting thing is though that im not bothered that the newness is gone because i wasnt really thinking about it as a short term thing.
    I needed some massive lifestyle overhauls to avoid ending up in an early grave. period. and no matter how i got to where i am, im the only one who is responsible for improving the situation - no one else can do that for me. Currently im just kind of like "well this is how it is now." and its made me kind of blah but i have no desire to break my streak at this point. As you can see im not very worried about meal templates or things like that as long as i dont get hungry. Obviously diversity isnt even that important to me depending on the day.
    The covid situation has also really driven the health point home. The comorbidities for people likely to end up in ICU or die were all things that i had - asthma, high blood pressure, diabetic etc and I was just setting myself up for failure basically when it came to health things. covid or not all those things have def been having a long term effect on my body and mind and I almost feel bad that ive done myself such a great disservice for so long. I say almost because there is no point in being upset about things in the past since they cant be changed. All i can do is make a better decision going forward and its those steps that I can actively control now that matter.
    A big reason that i ignored it so long was because both my parents died fairly young. My mom died in her 40s from Multiple sclerosis and my died in his 50s from lung cancer. That really solidified in my mind that I  probably wouldn't live very long anyway and seemed to be acting out some horrific self fulfilling prophecy by the ice cream pint. If im gonna live though id like to live well. I also hate being so dependent on medications. if the end of the world came and i had to live through the zombie apocalypse i would spend most of my time raiding pharmacies or id end up dying from a blood pressure stroke!
     
    So while ive said it before its worth saying again.
    I want to eat to live not live to eat. I mean id like to eat to live sometimes because food is delicious! but i dont want to realize that i spend all my free time with food or thinking about food. 
  5. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    Day 36, Friday June 5
    M1: green salad with chicken and PK dressing, banana (not with the salad lol)
    M2: potato egg salad with celery and carrot sticks
    M3: bbq steak, potatoes, lemony asparagus
    NSV: I woke up at 6:30, was up at 6:45, no alarm
    NSV: I had a terrific sleep, my energy levels were excellent all day, and I didn't have cravings.
    NSV: I reached all my goals today: eat well, up by 7am, no snacking and keep up with my habit hacks
    I searched at the liquor store for a white wine without sulphites.  Turns out that all wines contain sulphites, or so I was told by the customer service representative.  So that makes things a bit easier.  I plan to find out on Thursday evening next week if wine or sulphites have any nasty effects on me.
    Today, mid afternoon, I didn't have a craving for food but rather felt like indulging my decades long habit of taking a break with something yummy to eat.  It wasn't a craving but rather a feeling to spend time with myself & away from work doing something I enjoy.  I guess that having food would always be enough to take my mind off of work for a few minutes.  I had a cup of tea instead, and didn't miss snacking at all.  I've been drinking a lot of tea this W30.  The thing is, I don't have something to replace this mid afternoon break habit with.   I could go for a walk, and I often do, but I also walk in the morning and after dinner and don't want to always fill this break time with yet another walk.  So what to do?  Invite a neighbour over for a mid-afternoon cup of tea/iced tea?  Does anyone actually do that anymore?  And what about physical distancing rules right now?  I could read a book or go on social media, but either of those can be endless time bandits for me and I've got to get back to work so those are not options.  I think I want to do something social, something fun, something enjoyable.  Working from home is lonely sometimes.  I like the idea of having someone drop over for a short visit, but with Covid it's not a good option right now.  What do other people do? Any suggestions?  
  6. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to elinve38 in Time for a change   
    The desire to start all over again is strong but I need to remember consistency over perfection. 
    Plus, I find that an "all or nothing" attitude will usually lead me right into a binge/restrict cycle, which I really want to avoid. 
  7. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to SchrodingersCat in Round 4 - FIGHT!   
    Meal 1: leftover meatball stew
    Meal 2: the absolute best lamb backstrap I've ever had, marinated in onion, garlic, lemon, cumin, cinnamon and sumac. Served with chili balsamic roasted beets tossed with their own sauteed greens and fresh baby spinach, and grilled dukkah crusted baby eggplant 
  8. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Take Advantage   
    I did everything on my checklist yesterday.  I even took the dog for a walk a little earlier than I had planned, then read for a while, did yoga, and made dinner (leftover grilled chicken and the rest of that risotto).  I also had a glass of wine with my dinner, though no vegetables.  I was feeling really good about myself and then I saw the bag of Twizzlers - "I'm not on Whole 30 yet, I can eat these."  So I did.  And then later, three dinner rolls with butter.  I wasn't even  hungry.  It was me thinking that I'm about to move away from these foods, I won't be able to have them anymore, I can do whatever, eat whatever I want.  And the funny thing is, that I KNOW when I'm in my Whole 30, I'll think it's crazy that I was worried that I couldn't have a piece of candy because I won't want a piece of candy.  A little of it was some anger toward my husband, too - "You're doing that, fine I'm going to eat these Twizzlers."  There's so much underlying animosity there.  Like it hurts anyone but myself, and I do feel better for just the moment that poison goes in my mouth.  But...self-sabotage!! 
    My husband absolutely refuses to eat decent foods.  Every two months or so he'll say, "I really should eat a salad."  A lot of nights he drinks his dinner, making himself old-fashioneds and justifying it by saying he'll eat later (which he rarely does) and anyway, there's an orange and a cherry in the glass.  We've been married almost 28 years, most of the time I can put all that aside.  But sometimes, it's a convenient excuse.   Sometimes he'll eat what I cook, sometimes he'll like it, sometimes he'll complain about it.  Sometimes he'll cook something (usually a pasta-based dinner).  There was once so much power and control and passive-aggressiveness surrounding meals and I think we just got tired of the struggle.  And now there are vestiges that raise their ugly heads every so often.  Especially the passive-aggressive one.  As I said, there is a lot of animosity.  
    I also have a newly graduated 18-year old son in the house.  He eats a lot of food and is the source for the chips and candy that I'm currently finding so hard to resist.  Again, I have strategies for managing having these foods in the house, but as I said earlier, it's a convenient excuse.  He does often eat what I cook and wants to know what's for dinner.  But he's also spending less and less time at home.  He works 3 evenings a week, too.  
    Back to today.  Needless to say, with my late night sugar/carb rush of rolls and Twizzlers, I didn't sleep very well.  I awoke at 6:00 but was not ready to get out of bed.  I tried to talk myself into getting up and going for a walk, but my body was not having any of it.  I fell back asleep.  I woke up 40 minutes later, struggling with myself that I had to go for a walk if I wanted to change anything.  "It's only 20 minutes, I'll enjoy it once I'm out there, I deserve to do this for myself, I don't want to go plop down in the recliner and watch the news, I'm sick of the news...." All the self-talk, just as much negative as positive.  While I fought myself hard, I did finally get up and do it.  I walked the dog the first mile of the day.  If I walk, the first 5 items on my list are able to be quickly checked off.  Sense of accomplishment.  
    Once I did plop down in the recliner to watch the news, I decided to make a schedule for today.  I have a bunch of conference calls, spread throughout the day, and so I thought making a schedule would help me to get all my tasks done.  My first task was to make breakfast.  I scrambled raw spinach in butter (I have ghee, but saving it for my Whole 30), three eggs, and sliced fresh mozzarella.  As I knew, it only takes a few minutes to cook and clean-up.  It was delicious, and right now I feel really good.  
    Energy-5, pain-0, Mood-4
    I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of my books.  I have three separate walks built into my day (1 down, 2 to go).  I'm not sure yet when I want to start my Whole 30.  Maybe on Monday?    I have to wrestle this self-defeating monster inside.  It's like I'm trying to walk the dog and she's pulling just as hard as she can against me, choking herself and bracing her back legs, fighting with all her might.  I'm chipping away, walking this morning, making a schedule, eating breakfast, ordering the Whole 30 books.  I can't let this monster win.  
  9. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from Contessa in Take Advantage   
    Eating the salad yesterday was a good idea.  I then made a pizza for dinner that was languishing in the fridge, waiting to be baked.  And had two glasses of wine,  And then luscious dark chocolate.  But there was definitely a subtle mindshift, a conscious "Last Supper" mentality that was not filled with angst and guilt, but just pure enjoyment.  Rather than the "must eat all things" bender that I've very often woken up in the middle of, this was me making a choice to indulge.  THAT is what I seek-wholesome nourishing foods most of the time with an occasional, chosen indulgence that does not completely derail me.  Why is that so difficult?  Ughhh....
    My Whole30 Day By Day manual arrived yesterday afternoon and I sat right down and read up through Day 0. After reading, I was ready to change my start to Saturday.  I'm still toying with that, Saturday vs. Monday start.  I can meal plan and order groceries today.  I don't have any big events this weekend.  If I don't start tomorrow, I will only either eat all things or try to recreate last night's conscious indulgence, probably unsuccessfully. 
    The big question is:  am I mentally ready to start tomorrow?  Honestly, I'm a little scared that I won't be able to commit myself.  My failed attempt in April has made me a little gun-shy and distrustful of myself.  I've had 5 successful W30s - they were not all perfect, but each launched me into a period of health and well-being.  The one in September 2019 was a shorter period, though, and then April...have I reached my threshold for successful times doing W30?  This is a pattern for me - going all-in, learning everything I can, focused on a subject/task/activity.  Then I lose interest.  As I'm writing this and thinking I realize I'm experiencing FEAR OF FAILURE.  
    A sign???  I just got an email from Thrive Market offering a free coconut oil with a $49 purchase.  Seriously, can't make this up.  I guess I'll go shop there once I finish this entry.  Something in the universe is pulling me along, trying to make me walk the walk despite the fact that I'm digging my feet in and pulling backward.  
    So today....This morning I was ready to get up and walk, but I ended up sleeping downstairs on the sofa last night.  My dilemma - walk in my pajama shorts or go upstairs and put on some real clothes?  It's not so much my concern that the neighbors will see me in the pjs, rather it's the thigh chaffing that would result from walking in shorts.  My lazy self decided to walk in the pjs a short distance so that I could say I did it, then go for a longer hike this afternoon.  I actually will go find a trail for me and the dog in a little while, so I guess this counts as a win for getting up and walking 1/2 mile instead of 1 mile.  
    I came in from the walk and ate breakfast of leftover chicken breast at 6:30 a.m.  I wasn't feeling like cooking, but I do want to play around with eating breakfast a little earlier.  I'm hungry right now, but it's almost lunch time!  
    Energy-6, pain-0, Mood-6.  My mood is better today. My Food Freedom book should be coming today!  I also ordered Atomic Habits on Audible to listen to while I'm walking (thanks @Blueautumn!)
    Plan for today:
    Make lunch
    Order stuff from Thrive
    Plan meals
    Go for long hike and think about starting W30 tomorrow instead of Monday.  
    Get groceries
     
     
     
     
     
  10. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from Contessa in Take Advantage   
    I did everything on my checklist yesterday.  I even took the dog for a walk a little earlier than I had planned, then read for a while, did yoga, and made dinner (leftover grilled chicken and the rest of that risotto).  I also had a glass of wine with my dinner, though no vegetables.  I was feeling really good about myself and then I saw the bag of Twizzlers - "I'm not on Whole 30 yet, I can eat these."  So I did.  And then later, three dinner rolls with butter.  I wasn't even  hungry.  It was me thinking that I'm about to move away from these foods, I won't be able to have them anymore, I can do whatever, eat whatever I want.  And the funny thing is, that I KNOW when I'm in my Whole 30, I'll think it's crazy that I was worried that I couldn't have a piece of candy because I won't want a piece of candy.  A little of it was some anger toward my husband, too - "You're doing that, fine I'm going to eat these Twizzlers."  There's so much underlying animosity there.  Like it hurts anyone but myself, and I do feel better for just the moment that poison goes in my mouth.  But...self-sabotage!! 
    My husband absolutely refuses to eat decent foods.  Every two months or so he'll say, "I really should eat a salad."  A lot of nights he drinks his dinner, making himself old-fashioneds and justifying it by saying he'll eat later (which he rarely does) and anyway, there's an orange and a cherry in the glass.  We've been married almost 28 years, most of the time I can put all that aside.  But sometimes, it's a convenient excuse.   Sometimes he'll eat what I cook, sometimes he'll like it, sometimes he'll complain about it.  Sometimes he'll cook something (usually a pasta-based dinner).  There was once so much power and control and passive-aggressiveness surrounding meals and I think we just got tired of the struggle.  And now there are vestiges that raise their ugly heads every so often.  Especially the passive-aggressive one.  As I said, there is a lot of animosity.  
    I also have a newly graduated 18-year old son in the house.  He eats a lot of food and is the source for the chips and candy that I'm currently finding so hard to resist.  Again, I have strategies for managing having these foods in the house, but as I said earlier, it's a convenient excuse.  He does often eat what I cook and wants to know what's for dinner.  But he's also spending less and less time at home.  He works 3 evenings a week, too.  
    Back to today.  Needless to say, with my late night sugar/carb rush of rolls and Twizzlers, I didn't sleep very well.  I awoke at 6:00 but was not ready to get out of bed.  I tried to talk myself into getting up and going for a walk, but my body was not having any of it.  I fell back asleep.  I woke up 40 minutes later, struggling with myself that I had to go for a walk if I wanted to change anything.  "It's only 20 minutes, I'll enjoy it once I'm out there, I deserve to do this for myself, I don't want to go plop down in the recliner and watch the news, I'm sick of the news...." All the self-talk, just as much negative as positive.  While I fought myself hard, I did finally get up and do it.  I walked the dog the first mile of the day.  If I walk, the first 5 items on my list are able to be quickly checked off.  Sense of accomplishment.  
    Once I did plop down in the recliner to watch the news, I decided to make a schedule for today.  I have a bunch of conference calls, spread throughout the day, and so I thought making a schedule would help me to get all my tasks done.  My first task was to make breakfast.  I scrambled raw spinach in butter (I have ghee, but saving it for my Whole 30), three eggs, and sliced fresh mozzarella.  As I knew, it only takes a few minutes to cook and clean-up.  It was delicious, and right now I feel really good.  
    Energy-5, pain-0, Mood-4
    I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of my books.  I have three separate walks built into my day (1 down, 2 to go).  I'm not sure yet when I want to start my Whole 30.  Maybe on Monday?    I have to wrestle this self-defeating monster inside.  It's like I'm trying to walk the dog and she's pulling just as hard as she can against me, choking herself and bracing her back legs, fighting with all her might.  I'm chipping away, walking this morning, making a schedule, eating breakfast, ordering the Whole 30 books.  I can't let this monster win.  
  11. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Take Advantage   
    Eating the salad yesterday was a good idea.  I then made a pizza for dinner that was languishing in the fridge, waiting to be baked.  And had two glasses of wine,  And then luscious dark chocolate.  But there was definitely a subtle mindshift, a conscious "Last Supper" mentality that was not filled with angst and guilt, but just pure enjoyment.  Rather than the "must eat all things" bender that I've very often woken up in the middle of, this was me making a choice to indulge.  THAT is what I seek-wholesome nourishing foods most of the time with an occasional, chosen indulgence that does not completely derail me.  Why is that so difficult?  Ughhh....
    My Whole30 Day By Day manual arrived yesterday afternoon and I sat right down and read up through Day 0. After reading, I was ready to change my start to Saturday.  I'm still toying with that, Saturday vs. Monday start.  I can meal plan and order groceries today.  I don't have any big events this weekend.  If I don't start tomorrow, I will only either eat all things or try to recreate last night's conscious indulgence, probably unsuccessfully. 
    The big question is:  am I mentally ready to start tomorrow?  Honestly, I'm a little scared that I won't be able to commit myself.  My failed attempt in April has made me a little gun-shy and distrustful of myself.  I've had 5 successful W30s - they were not all perfect, but each launched me into a period of health and well-being.  The one in September 2019 was a shorter period, though, and then April...have I reached my threshold for successful times doing W30?  This is a pattern for me - going all-in, learning everything I can, focused on a subject/task/activity.  Then I lose interest.  As I'm writing this and thinking I realize I'm experiencing FEAR OF FAILURE.  
    A sign???  I just got an email from Thrive Market offering a free coconut oil with a $49 purchase.  Seriously, can't make this up.  I guess I'll go shop there once I finish this entry.  Something in the universe is pulling me along, trying to make me walk the walk despite the fact that I'm digging my feet in and pulling backward.  
    So today....This morning I was ready to get up and walk, but I ended up sleeping downstairs on the sofa last night.  My dilemma - walk in my pajama shorts or go upstairs and put on some real clothes?  It's not so much my concern that the neighbors will see me in the pjs, rather it's the thigh chaffing that would result from walking in shorts.  My lazy self decided to walk in the pjs a short distance so that I could say I did it, then go for a longer hike this afternoon.  I actually will go find a trail for me and the dog in a little while, so I guess this counts as a win for getting up and walking 1/2 mile instead of 1 mile.  
    I came in from the walk and ate breakfast of leftover chicken breast at 6:30 a.m.  I wasn't feeling like cooking, but I do want to play around with eating breakfast a little earlier.  I'm hungry right now, but it's almost lunch time!  
    Energy-6, pain-0, Mood-6.  My mood is better today. My Food Freedom book should be coming today!  I also ordered Atomic Habits on Audible to listen to while I'm walking (thanks @Blueautumn!)
    Plan for today:
    Make lunch
    Order stuff from Thrive
    Plan meals
    Go for long hike and think about starting W30 tomorrow instead of Monday.  
    Get groceries
     
     
     
     
     
  12. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Take Advantage   
    Yes!  Knowing that a healthier, more vibrant version of me is waiting if I choose this path and a bedridden, sick, medication-filled version of me is waiting if I continue on the current path-that's a really good visual.  Maybe I'll draw a picture for myself.  Also, I will check out that book.  I have a lot of free time right now with working at home, I might as well read.  Better than playing mindless iPad games and trying to pretend that I don't hear the chips calling to me.  
     
    Awesome idea.  I am so lazy.  I might as well make use of it!  
  13. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Round 4 - FIGHT!   
    Are you familiar with the AllTrails app?  It's free, but of course you can pay for premium service (I'm not sure what's involved with that).  You can search for trails in any area, get directions to the trailhead (even for unmarked ones - I've been able to find all but one), and then record your hike, which allows you to use the trail map on the app.  Users rate the trails, which is helpful for knowing about markings, waterloggedness, etc.  
  14. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from Blueautumn in Take Advantage   
    Eating the salad yesterday was a good idea.  I then made a pizza for dinner that was languishing in the fridge, waiting to be baked.  And had two glasses of wine,  And then luscious dark chocolate.  But there was definitely a subtle mindshift, a conscious "Last Supper" mentality that was not filled with angst and guilt, but just pure enjoyment.  Rather than the "must eat all things" bender that I've very often woken up in the middle of, this was me making a choice to indulge.  THAT is what I seek-wholesome nourishing foods most of the time with an occasional, chosen indulgence that does not completely derail me.  Why is that so difficult?  Ughhh....
    My Whole30 Day By Day manual arrived yesterday afternoon and I sat right down and read up through Day 0. After reading, I was ready to change my start to Saturday.  I'm still toying with that, Saturday vs. Monday start.  I can meal plan and order groceries today.  I don't have any big events this weekend.  If I don't start tomorrow, I will only either eat all things or try to recreate last night's conscious indulgence, probably unsuccessfully. 
    The big question is:  am I mentally ready to start tomorrow?  Honestly, I'm a little scared that I won't be able to commit myself.  My failed attempt in April has made me a little gun-shy and distrustful of myself.  I've had 5 successful W30s - they were not all perfect, but each launched me into a period of health and well-being.  The one in September 2019 was a shorter period, though, and then April...have I reached my threshold for successful times doing W30?  This is a pattern for me - going all-in, learning everything I can, focused on a subject/task/activity.  Then I lose interest.  As I'm writing this and thinking I realize I'm experiencing FEAR OF FAILURE.  
    A sign???  I just got an email from Thrive Market offering a free coconut oil with a $49 purchase.  Seriously, can't make this up.  I guess I'll go shop there once I finish this entry.  Something in the universe is pulling me along, trying to make me walk the walk despite the fact that I'm digging my feet in and pulling backward.  
    So today....This morning I was ready to get up and walk, but I ended up sleeping downstairs on the sofa last night.  My dilemma - walk in my pajama shorts or go upstairs and put on some real clothes?  It's not so much my concern that the neighbors will see me in the pjs, rather it's the thigh chaffing that would result from walking in shorts.  My lazy self decided to walk in the pjs a short distance so that I could say I did it, then go for a longer hike this afternoon.  I actually will go find a trail for me and the dog in a little while, so I guess this counts as a win for getting up and walking 1/2 mile instead of 1 mile.  
    I came in from the walk and ate breakfast of leftover chicken breast at 6:30 a.m.  I wasn't feeling like cooking, but I do want to play around with eating breakfast a little earlier.  I'm hungry right now, but it's almost lunch time!  
    Energy-6, pain-0, Mood-6.  My mood is better today. My Food Freedom book should be coming today!  I also ordered Atomic Habits on Audible to listen to while I'm walking (thanks @Blueautumn!)
    Plan for today:
    Make lunch
    Order stuff from Thrive
    Plan meals
    Go for long hike and think about starting W30 tomorrow instead of Monday.  
    Get groceries
     
     
     
     
     
  15. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from SchrodingersCat in Round 4 - FIGHT!   
    Are you familiar with the AllTrails app?  It's free, but of course you can pay for premium service (I'm not sure what's involved with that).  You can search for trails in any area, get directions to the trailhead (even for unmarked ones - I've been able to find all but one), and then record your hike, which allows you to use the trail map on the app.  Users rate the trails, which is helpful for knowing about markings, waterloggedness, etc.  
  16. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to Contessa in Contessa's June Realignment   
    Food journal from 6/4/20:
    Breakfast: diced sweet potato, steamed broccoli, roast chicken with chipotle mayonnaise
    Lunch: spaghetti squash with meatballs and pasta sauce
    Snack: Spindrift with 1/2 apple and almond butter
    Dinner: mashed cauliflower with meatballs and pasta sauce
    Whew, this has been a stressful day. My company is re-structuring and we are getting into All the Complicated Conversations with staff members. Tomorrow will be even worse. I'm thankful for the structure of the W30 right now. The complexities presented by Covid seem endless. What a difficult time in this nation.
  17. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to Contessa in Contessa's June Realignment   
    Thanks Shadow! I have been around this work since the "Whole 9" days — I think I did my first Whole 30 in 2013. I'm excited to be back in 2020. Every time I do a reset like this, I learn something meaningful about myself. And of course, I end up feeling great after changing my diet.
  18. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to Blueautumn in Take Advantage   
    I'd eat your breakfast and late lunch and look into making the last one a small meal. I'd much rather be full during the day than possibly getting hungry due to smaller meal sizes. I dont eat at set times ever. Lol
    The self sabotage is real! I've justified eating junk before by convincing myself if the end of the world came next week how would I get icecream again! I wish that was a joke lol. Also very big on the well screw it I'm fine being fat- give me all the foods 
    I spent almost all of may mentally preparing that I really needed a change and that I deserved to do this for my current and future self. Sometimes I wish there was a future self of you that could be seen and you could see the effect of your decisions on her rofl - oi vey could you imagine.
    I read a book called atomic habits and I think you might enjoy it about making small changes in support of the behaviours you want to encourage. But it's super hard sometimes to out maneuver the saboteur in your head. They come up with the best excuses ever!
    If it helps- I have faith in you! And will cheer you on every day. You got this
  19. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    @MadyVanilla  So... I just remembered there is a small winery just up the road a bit, less than a 10 minute drive from my home.  I guess I could try there and shop local LOL. I'm sure that if I call them they would be able to tell me right away if their wines contain sulphites.   Also, Canada Post doesn't deliver wine (the liquor store's delivery contract is w/ them). I would have to drive to the post office to pick up my order, which would add another day until I have it.  I'm definitely keeping DryFarm in mind for next time though.  The line ups at the liquor stores haven't subsided yet the way they have for grocery stores.   
    I'm glad right now that alcohol isn't very important to me anymore, although I think I will always appreciate a well-paired wine.  
  20. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Round 4 - FIGHT!   
    Time to shop!  A good pair of weatherproof shoes is a necessity IMO.  I love my Salomon hikers and Helly Hansen truly waterproof rain jacket with hood because I don't like to be burdened with an umbrella.  I don't have any excuse now, and ya, I get the whole I don't want to go out in the rain thing, but once you're out there, unless its pouring it can be quite nice.  Walking is the one exercise that is almost always recommended, so being properly equipped will serve you well.
    I bought my hikers when I was going to hike the Chilkoot trail in Alaska.  Since then I've tried to hike in as many different places as I can - every time I traveled I tried to look for an interesting place to hike or just walk, sort of like adding another notch in my boots.  I have also consciously searched for new places to explore right here at home, and I wear them almost daily to walk my dog.  If you are goal oriented this strategy may work for you too, to get you out there.  My boots are 5 years old now and have a small leak in the top, but still as comfortable as ever and I wear them a lot!  
    Good luck tomorrow finding something exercisy to do.  And thanks for sharing the meatball stew recipe.  Your meals are so interesting!
     
  21. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Round 4 - FIGHT!   
    @SchrodingersCat @kirbz @MadyVanilla I ordered Food Freedom today too. Same as you all, I'm feeling like I know enough, yet maybe I can learn more?  I'm also getting nervous about the end, and currently think that I won't ever really finish W30, but keep deferring back to it as I find necessary.  Besides, I think that I really could eat a green salad with Primal Kitchen dressing every day for the rest of my life, and potato egg salad with homemade mayo too!  
    @SchrodingersCat For your meatball stew, do you add cooked meatballs at the end?  Do you stew it all day in a slow cooker?  I've never had meatball stew and would love it if you shared the recipe!
  22. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to kirbz in Round 4 - FIGHT!   
    Oh my goodness, I can totally relate to your recent post expressing concerns about life after Whole30. It reads as something I could have written myself. I'm also on my fifth Whole30 and I have fallen into fourth-grade-boy-left-alone-at-home bad eating habits in between each one. When will I learn? I've had Food Freedom Forever and also haven't read it. What could it possibly teach me that I don't already know?! LOL. Maybe it's time for me to read it too. I need this one to stick. I need this round to be the driver for a permanent lifestyle change. I feel so much better, so much more aligned, and so much happier when I eat this way. 
    I wish us all the best! Despite that we haven't yet landed where we want, we should admire our resolve to keep coming back!
  23. Like
    MadyVanilla reacted to Blueautumn in Autumns' R1 Whole30 Log   
    Thank you so much lol. I kinda just ramble at times I can totally relate to that day in regards to food. Befire I started I ate cheesey bacon wedges from Jack in the box with a burger and a soda and then I might do the same thing when I woke up lol
    having the ability to have so much food delivered really enabled me to be truly awful every single day 
    My food choices I hope are starting to look better. I went into this to be as boring and straight forward as possible and I got sick of boring stuff so fast it was awful lol
    On a plus note after going this long without all the things I normally eat - flavors are becoming more noticeable and I'm not missing or comparing it to bread and cheese (if that makes sense) so when I start making these recipes they are all tasting very nommy.
    The hardest part is finding something else to occupy my time when I feel like eating. Eating has served as a way to fill the time and my hands for so long I'm trying to figure out what/how to redirect that energy.
    @Contessa try it! It was good. My hubby ate it all as well lol we had no leftovers probably need to double it next time.
    Added sugar is so amazing. It's a trap! 
  24. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Take Advantage   
    Second mile walk down.  It's lunch time.  I'm not hungry, since I had such an awesome breakfast.  I need to troubleshoot this because this is an issue for me and a place where I often trip:  great breakfast, not hungry until 3:00 or so - eat lunch then, not hungry for dinner, start picking and snacking around 8:00 p.m.....because of the night before's picking and junk, not hungry for breakfast.  Eat lunch, still hungry, pick all afternoon....snacking is not helpful for me, I'm better with 3, preferably 2, meals a day.  
    Options:
    Schedule meal times.  I didn't eat breakfast until 8:00 this morning...
    Eat a smaller breakfast
    Eat smaller meals in general
    Play with meal timing, maybe the late-night snacking could become a meal?
     
    So for today, I think I'll eat some salad in another 30 minutes or so, which will ideally hold me over until dinner.  
    Tomorrow, I'll set a meal time schedule with an earlier breakfast and see how that works.  
    My official declaration:  I'm starting W30 on Monday.  
  25. Like
    MadyVanilla got a reaction from Blueautumn in Take Advantage   
    Second mile walk down.  It's lunch time.  I'm not hungry, since I had such an awesome breakfast.  I need to troubleshoot this because this is an issue for me and a place where I often trip:  great breakfast, not hungry until 3:00 or so - eat lunch then, not hungry for dinner, start picking and snacking around 8:00 p.m.....because of the night before's picking and junk, not hungry for breakfast.  Eat lunch, still hungry, pick all afternoon....snacking is not helpful for me, I'm better with 3, preferably 2, meals a day.  
    Options:
    Schedule meal times.  I didn't eat breakfast until 8:00 this morning...
    Eat a smaller breakfast
    Eat smaller meals in general
    Play with meal timing, maybe the late-night snacking could become a meal?
     
    So for today, I think I'll eat some salad in another 30 minutes or so, which will ideally hold me over until dinner.  
    Tomorrow, I'll set a meal time schedule with an earlier breakfast and see how that works.  
    My official declaration:  I'm starting W30 on Monday.