ShadowInTheKitchen

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  1. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen got a reaction from LadyM in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    Yes, this.  It's part of the Whole30 training, and can be discerned through journaling for me.  I do think that 3 meals a day will be best for me going forward indefinitely, but keeping them appropriately sized.  I've also learned to have post work-out snacks that are smaller when I need them, not a 4th meal.  
    LOL.  You are one of us.  Superwomen.  
     
    I'm happy to report that I threw away the rest of the junk food.  Note to Future Shadow - it was easy to do and I feel empowered now.  I've got this.  
  2. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen got a reaction from decker_bear in My 1st Whole30 of 2020 (and in several years)...   
    Have you tried making it yourself?  It's super easy, just dump a pound of salted butter into a saucepan and let it simmer for about 20 minutes.  Cover the pot with a wire screen if you have one.  I don't bother skimming much off the top anymore, just let the milk solids drop to the bottom of the pot to brown.  Do not stir during the process.  When it's done, leave it until it's warm to touch not hot, then strain it through a few layers of cheesecloth into a glass jar.  It's so good, and I love the flavour of the home made burnt-ish butter better than the store-bought super mild flavour.  
    Congrats on those NSV's!
  3. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    Day 14
    Two weeks, y'all!!
    Observations:
    The sugar dragon has not been plaguing me as it has in past W30s. I'm hardly eating fruit, even, and it's not that big of a deal. I have sweets cravings at the end of meals, but this is more habit than need, and I'm not indulging it--not even with fruit. This is a MAJOR shift for me and a major win as my mother died in her 60s of kidney failure related to diabetes and though my glucose numbers are generally good at this stage, prediabetes is something I need to actively resist with these genes. One of the things that sparked this W30 was an off-handed convo I had with my dude that went something like this:
    "You know I really do eat healthy in general. Except for sweets. Just like my Mom, and diabetes killed her," I said.
    "Hmmm. Seems like there's a lesson in there somewhere," he said, tongue in cheek.
    Which leads me to another observation: I needed the hard rules of the W30 to say no to the kind of foods Dude and I tend to eat together. When we first started dating, I did pretty OK off roading on dates in a reasonable way and then eating cleaner on my own time. But time and comfort and quarantine life threw that out the window and, as is my unfortunate way, I bend to his ways easier than he does to mine, and I ate more like a bachelor than I care to admit. I had actually lost 10 pounds at the start of the pandemic in preparation for a spring break cruise that never happened. As time wore on and uncertainty and depression took their toll, I pretty much threw all my good habits and sense out the window and ate all the garbage, felt like garbage, stopped exercising and spending time in nature, and at the same time my thyroid levels went shockingly low, as they're wont to do when I'm not on my A-game. And, of course, the weight crept back on and then some, though I haven't stepped on the scale in many moons.
    Anyway, the point is, I told Dude I'm doing a W30, and while he thinks it's insanely punishing and keeps forgetting and offering me bites of potato chips and the like, ultimately he respects my choice and reasons for doing it. And we don't live together, so it's not really an issue except when we spend a weekend together. I also, of course, think a W30 would be the best possible thing in the world for him and hope to lead by example, but I'm keeping the focus on me and my journey. There's definitely a life lesson in there somewhere.
    This week starts a new school year, and yesterday I had ALL THE ENERGY and DID ALL THE THINGS to prepare. I don't actually begin teaching until tomorrow, so it's nice that I have a day to myself. Telemeetings with my therapist and doc are on the agenda for later this afternoon, and I'm eager to continue deepening the self care.
    Last night I awoke at 2:30 to pee and had a terrible time getting back to sleep, so I ended up snoozing a couple hours past my alarm and am not, so far, having the kind of energizer bunny day that yesterday was. But that's OK. I'm rolling with it. And I do have the time and space to fit in my morning routine albeit at a later hour. It's all good. And I do hope to conquer the racing mind that kept me awake in the wee hours with exercise and regular meditation. The house hunt and relationship problems and work anxiety and grandmother with COVID aren't going to change because they're swirling through my mind as negative thoughts. Working on cultivating the calm inside regardless of what's going on outside. W30 is helping. And it ain't over yet.
  4. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to SchrodingersCat in Guess who's back? Back again, Schrodey's Back...   
    Ended up with Italian herbs BBQ chicken thighs, BBQ fennel and eggplant with Kalamata tapanade, and duck fat roasted sweet potato.
    I love my Weber so much.
    Had to duck out and get some wine for hubster and thought really hard about some for me. Especially because I've taken tomorrow off work. But I really thought about it, and now I'd just wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety, and it would make me feel crappy tomorrow and waste my day off, so I didn't. And I'm glad I didn't. 
    Day off tomorrow, I'm going to go for a long walk in the sun, do some sewing, and relax. 
  5. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to LadyM in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    So glad the spiral is behind you for the moment. I've been there, and it can feel so desperate.
    I'm with @decker_bear: Whole 30 is here for you when it's useful. Sounds like you're really clear about what you need right now and that's great!
    FWIW, intuitive eating doesn't work for me when I'm in a spiral. I do think there are physiological components, at least for me, that need to be dealt with in conjunction with the psychological and emotional pieces to the puzzle. That was one of the most valuable takeaways for me in all my rounds of W30. Sugar in conjunction with flour and/or dairy is like poison to me when I'm undernourished. That's just a fact I've learned to accept, which means I accept the consequences if I choose to imbibe. It's much easier to off road just the once with such things if it's bookended with solid W30-style template nutrition for at least a few days.
    Anyway, that's my experience, and it may not be yours. We all must learn to ride our own bikes, and often again and again, because life keeps changing and throwing unimaginable stuff at us. That's why I'm back after YEARS. . . . BIG LOVE to you on your journey wherever and however it takes you!
  6. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen got a reaction from LadyM in Take Advantage   
    This is your progression into becoming who you need to be.  I love what you shared above.  All of it.  I wish you well.  
    I'm sending you a big virtual birthday hug for your upcoming 50th... and I hope you have a very happy birthday week!
  7. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen got a reaction from LadyM in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    Thanks @decker_bear.  I ate it.  First the ice cream.  Then today I used up most of the leftover cream cheese to make squares, which I haven't had in ages.  Then I ate a row of squares.  BUT...
    I weighed in at the gym on Friday and my numbers are better than they were a week ago, last night I began training for a 5k, and my meals lately have been sooo good with special thanks to Whole30 training/practice.  I am walking lots and working out regularly.  Last week's spiral is over, I'm done eating the squares and am making a healthy supper for myself tonight.  Good old shepherd's pie with sweet potato and rhutabaga topping, my favourite comfort food.  So I'm done wallowing for now and I feel good physically.  I'm giving W30 a mini break because I want to eat some off-plan foods.  It's a nagging worry for me that by eliminating entire food groups for too long I will also not be getting enough nutrients, and autumn is THE BEST TIME to enjoy homemade baked beans.   I also want to focus on some other stuff right now, and W30 just takes too much mental energy sometimes.  That's not to say I won't be back, I just don't know when I'll be ready to devote another 30 days to this. Maybe after Thanksgiving, which for us here in Canada is on October 12 this year, or maybe sooner if I fall off the rails again and can't find my balance without help from the structure of the program.  
    I plan to check in regularly with posts about my habits, or lack of and the perspective is invaluable when I read through my old logs. It also helps to know I'm not alone in this.  
  8. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to SchrodingersCat in Guess who's back? Back again, Schrodey's Back...   
    Oh, the other thing this morning - I did NOT let my "well, you ate a bunch of crap and have failed miserably" mindset make me weigh. I still do not want to know.
    Lunch was a baby spinach, rocket, sauteed brocconini and roasted pumpkin salad with boiled eggs (there were 3 but I could only eat 2) with dukkah, and raspberry vinaigrette. Was yum. Now to stay on track for the rest of the day.
  9. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to SchrodingersCat in Guess who's back? Back again, Schrodey's Back...   
    BLERGH!!!
    In true Schrode-style yesterday was a complete fest. Hubster and I, after a couple days of fighting and ventilating built up frustrations, had finally made up and were spending a day binge watching shows on the couch, and one had a box of chocolates, so we decided we needed one. So that was great decision 1. Then I decided wine went well with chocolate, that was great decision 2. Then we (I) decided that seeing as the day was already wine and chocolate and I was going to get back on track today, then we would get takeaway because it had been so long. So queue pizza, great decision 3.
    Woke up at 3am couldn't get back to sleep, sour stomach, gastric distress and a headache, brain fog and generally feeling BLERGH. I'd say lesson learned, but we all know that's a lie. But it was good to have the slack off day with hubster, I think we needed it.
    So back on track for me. Not committing to another 30, my b'day is coming up, but I'm definitely going to the Food Freedom idea of eating W30 unless I consciously decide I'm not going to, and will actually make those conscious decisions instead of just stuffing my face.
    Lunch:  I have some fish in the freezer, might defrost a piece of that and have it with a rocket and baby spinach salad, couple of boiled eggs
    Dinner: Finally having the roast pork that should have been Saturday's dinner with roasted veg.
     
  10. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to decker_bear in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    @ShadowInTheKitchen you have to do what is right for you! The W30 community is always here for you! 
  11. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen got a reaction from SchrodingersCat in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    Thanks @decker_bear.  I ate it.  First the ice cream.  Then today I used up most of the leftover cream cheese to make squares, which I haven't had in ages.  Then I ate a row of squares.  BUT...
    I weighed in at the gym on Friday and my numbers are better than they were a week ago, last night I began training for a 5k, and my meals lately have been sooo good with special thanks to Whole30 training/practice.  I am walking lots and working out regularly.  Last week's spiral is over, I'm done eating the squares and am making a healthy supper for myself tonight.  Good old shepherd's pie with sweet potato and rhutabaga topping, my favourite comfort food.  So I'm done wallowing for now and I feel good physically.  I'm giving W30 a mini break because I want to eat some off-plan foods.  It's a nagging worry for me that by eliminating entire food groups for too long I will also not be getting enough nutrients, and autumn is THE BEST TIME to enjoy homemade baked beans.   I also want to focus on some other stuff right now, and W30 just takes too much mental energy sometimes.  That's not to say I won't be back, I just don't know when I'll be ready to devote another 30 days to this. Maybe after Thanksgiving, which for us here in Canada is on October 12 this year, or maybe sooner if I fall off the rails again and can't find my balance without help from the structure of the program.  
    I plan to check in regularly with posts about my habits, or lack of and the perspective is invaluable when I read through my old logs. It also helps to know I'm not alone in this.  
  12. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen got a reaction from LadyM in The Seduction of LadyM Returns   
    I love this.
  13. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to decker_bear in My 1st Whole30 of 2020 (and in several years)...   
    Day 6 - continued
    Today is the first day in a while that I've had any sort of significant craving - and I really wanted a glass of wine. I'd been watching a TV show and they were drinking wine and that was a huge trigger for me. It wasn't a crazy uncontrollable craving - I wasn't going to run to the store and buy wine - but it was strong enough that had there been wine in front of me I probably would have accepted it. To me that just reinforces the importance of not having tempting foods around. 
    For dinner I was inspired by another member's comment about Sunshine Sauce. I didn't have any sunbutter, so I ended up making some sauce with a combination of almond butter and cashews. I drizzled that over a pile of cooked chicken thighs, zoodles, sliced portabello mushroom and fresh tomato. So good. And now I have some sauce left over for the next day or two. 
    My energy today has been really great. I feel like it was pretty good yesterday too, but I would have to refer back to my log to be sure. I haven't been sleeping well because of the pups, but tonight I'm going to try putting them in a playpen next to my bed and see if they will let me sleep alone. You know who is really in charge around here, and it's not the hooman. 
    Insights: keep non-compliant food OUT OF THE HOUSE. I may have caved if I would have had wine around. Sleep. Cravings for me aren't typically as bad when I have sufficient sleep. 
    NSV: Went on 3 long-ish walks with the pups today. 
  14. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to LadyM in My 1st Whole30 of 2020 (and in several years)...   
    I was just thinking about this--the anxiety surrounding food boredom on W30--and it struck me that while not on W30, I can eat the same thing for days on end, take a one-day break, and go back to eating the same thing for days on end until I grow tired of it and switch to something else. Lately, while packing and planning to move, it was take-out shawarma, my go-to being hummus, lentil soup, salad, chicken. And sushi from the grocery store. I practically lived on these two meals all summer. So, why do we feel we need to outdo ourselves on W30? Honestly, I'm amazed at the effort I'm willing to put into meal prep, though I'm also noticing that it doesn't HAVE to be that big of a deal. As long as I have protein, veggies, and fat handy, I'm good. It's true that the excitement of overmuch salt/fat/sugar/msg/whathaveyou taken out of the equation may be part of why getting back to real food and making it extra tasty is important. But I keep telling myself, "It doesn't have to be such a big deal." Especially because my plan is basically to keep going through October with my little doctor-ordered side step away from fats and starches in the middle.
    Anyway, love your reflections, contemplations, and participation in my log. WE CAN DO THIS (cue Rosie the Riveter image)!!
  15. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to LadyM in My 1st Whole30 of 2020 (and in several years)...   
    Cheers to no cravings and makeshift sunshine sauce and new squirrel pups!
    I hear you on wine. It's something I miss a bit when I know I can't have it but hardly actually drink it when I'm not on an elimination diet. I really do feel better in general without alcohol, and over the course of my umpteen W30s including one year alcohol-free, it doesn't sing the same siren song. When I do imbibe, it's generally one, maybe two. Even though my dude manages a bar. Neither of us is the drinker we once were, and I'd like to think that's the natural order of things (I'm 43 and he's nearly 51). Anyway, I digress from my original intent, which was to say YAY YOU! Wine always seems better on tv. YOU GOT DIS.
  16. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to decker_bear in My 1st Whole30 of 2020 (and in several years)...   
    Yes yes yes! It's true, when not on W30 I rarely drink it. I think it's mostly just an issue of wanting everything I "can't" have. I pretty much have a rebellious side in everything, so why should food be any different? 

    In response to your previous comment, I think that's where the pressure to keep things interesting comes from. If I'm going to submit to following these "rules," my rebellious side still needs a chance to say, nope, I'm not eating that. If I'm going to stick to the rules I need other choices to allow my rebellious side some latitude. Prior to this W30 I was eating oatmeal nearly every morning. We ate pizza (the same pie from the same place), sushi (the same rolls), and pad thai from the same place regularly. So what you said is right on - why can we do that and then suddenly panic about keeping things fresh for W30? I really think it's rebelling. There are no "rules" around eating all that other stuff, but there are rules for W30. 

    The psychology of behavior (particularly around food) is so fascinating to me! 
  17. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to decker_bear in My 1st Whole30 of 2020 (and in several years)...   
    Day 7 (and yes, I still have to check!)
    This morning was a bit cray cray. I had the pups sleep in the playpen last night, hoping against hope I could get some sleep. It kind of worked. The little one (Gen) ended up in bed with me but fortunately slept NEXT to me instead of ON TOP OF me. The bigger one (Ulli) stayed in the playpen until morning. So thank goodness for finally getting some rest. We got up and I started getting my shoes to take them outside. They were out of bed for 30 seconds when I find Ulli in my office taking a dump on the floor.  I rush them downstairs and get them outside, and of course they both just stare at me. We hung out forever until I finally conceded to going back in, and within seconds they both peed on the carpet. I got to exercise my "don't get mad" face. Cleaned it up and started watching videos on house training adult rescues. I made a cup of coffee but breakfast wasn't even on my MIND. Tried a few things and then ran to the store to pick up a few things. I got back around 11:00am and realized I hadn't eaten. D'oh! 
    So, all that to say ... I'm going to need to figure out some kind of morning routine that meets their needs and ensures I get my own business handled. 
    Breakfast: 4 eggs (which felt like a lot today despite not having eaten much) topped with a healthy pour of my "cash-alm-shine sauce," sweet potato mash, asparagus and cuties. Coffee with coconut oil. 
    I'm going to try to get in a light lunch later this afternoon and have a slightly later dinner to get the 3 meals in, and make some sort of effort to get back on schedule. 
  18. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to decker_bear in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    It seems like you're stuck in a spiral that's going to be tricky to get out of. Is there somewhere you could donate the non-compliant foods? A friend, neighbor, family member, etc.? I just sent home a few non-compliant things I had laying around with my son and he is more than happy to eat them. I would love if he would embrace a Whole30 to make himself healthier, but he's not in that space right now so I give him the food instead of wasting it or throwing it out. I'm with you, I hate wasting food, but then again ... the food that makes you feel bad isn't really serving you anyway. 
    Are you familiar with Intuitive Eating? It's a concept where you eat more or less what you want. You focus on healthy foods that will serve your body, but you also don't forbid yourself from eating anything. If you want the wine, you have the wine - but you drink it with a wholesome dinner. If you want the cheese and crackers - awesome, but maybe they're an appetizer for a vegetable-heavy dinner. You enjoy it, you give thanks for it, and you move on. Might be worth looking at. I'm just thinking that it might be a way for you to stop the spiral, get yourself balanced again, and allow yourself to start another Whole30 on solid footing and without the shame and regret. 
    Whatever you decide, YOU ARE WORTH IT! Take the time, do it right, and your body will thank you. 
  19. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to laurasuzanne in Laura's Whole30 8/28/20   
    I just wanted to say that a coworker commented that my face looked thinner today. It took me by surprise. 
  20. Thanks
    ShadowInTheKitchen got a reaction from SchrodingersCat in Guess who's back? Back again, Schrodey's Back...   
    Another W30 in the bag, well done!
  21. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to SchrodingersCat in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    You and me both, sister. If I start, I don't stop, even if I feel sick. All the ice cream, whole packs of candy. I'm more and more convinced I'm an abstainer not a moderator. 
  22. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to Tevenie in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    I ate 8 icecreams the other day.  There, I have said it.  I feel so ashamed of myself when I do it.  I have no ability to control myself around sugar.  
    It is not just you.
  23. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to SchrodingersCat in Guess who's back? Back again, Schrodey's Back...   
    Happy Blursday. 
    I'm so in love with my Weber, that rib-eye last night was *chef kiss*. We're going to get out money's worth out of this!
    I didn't get any exercise yesterday but I'm glad for the 'rest day'. Walks and elliptical are on the cards today. 
    Lunch will be the ever present leftovers I think... We still have a bunch of croc, emu and roo meatballs. I might have the meatballs in the bush tomato sauce with some grilled zucchini. 
    Dinner is lamb loin chops on the Weber, with grilled sweet potato and sauteed broccoli and carrots.
     
     
     
     
  24. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to Tevenie in Tevenie's Whole30 Diary   
    *Books flight* you could totally regret saying that.  Food is one of my top hobbies too - I live in Ireland but I long to live a warmer country so I can grow more of my own food - I fantasize about growing tomatoes (what a tragic fantasy life I have!) outside which really isn't possible here!  I did a cookery course at a lovely cookery school set on an organic farm here, where you get to not only cook, but milk the cows; make cheese, dig veg, go fishing!  It was wonderful.  I then worked in a restaurant on an island off the coast.  SUCH HARD WORK!  I toyed with opening a restaurant but seriously I just want to lie about and eat nice food, not make it!
     
    Hello again!  Hope you are well.  Autumn is lovely, it could be my favourite but I think that at the beginning of every season 
    Food:-
    Breakfast left over roast veg with salmon
    Lunch: Fruit mostly.  Must stop doing this but working from home has changed my food itinerary - I no longer want to eat breakfast until mid-morning so am not really hungry for lunch.
    Dinner: more roast veg, leftover coleslaw, leftover steak.  It was better than it looks written down.
    The new normal for me seems to be eating two meals a day - I am fine with that - I have no one to please but myself and it will be quite some time before I fade away 
  25. Like
    ShadowInTheKitchen reacted to decker_bear in Shadow’s May 2020 Whole30   
    @ShadowInTheKitchen there may not be a compliant dish, but you're on the right track by getting as compliant as possible. I completely understand the all or nothing thinking. Food freedom is all about the best possible choices while still indulging when worth it. I'm cheering for you!