anneeo08

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  1. anneeo08

    Day 28 - Depressed and Fat

    hi Maria, i'm reading this a little late, but I am on a March (what a time to be not drinking or eating delicious toast!) and although it's for my health, (my mother has been sick and i've been eating my feelings like i haven't since high school) i really went on because i was crying every single day and depressed and needed to get my head straight. through this whole month of coronavirus and craziness when everyone says, Just have a drink, come into the bar (corona-spreading crae-crae gen Z people), or have a drink on this Zoom Happy Hour, here! i have bagels! all i can think is that i'm NOT depressed. I'm scared about Coronavirus, the economy, How bad the novel i'm writing might be, if i'm going to be kicked out of my sublet because all income had disappeared (i sell vintage clothes. not an essential sector, according to Cuomo.) and i can't pay rent but i'm not sad. I haven't cried other than when my aunt went into hospital. that said, i don't think i've lost a pound and my self image is entirely (insert emotionally abusive parents here) attached to my weight, and i don't think i've lost more than a pound and it's almost over. but i think the feeling healthy, eating these delicious radishes (radishes! i don't even like radishes but a nice CSA lady who i bought fresh eggs gave me them) with this anchovy mayo (just added dill and anchovies to the whole 30 recipe) and running and so what if i'm not thin if i'm not crying? anyway this wasn't to say anything but you have people out there who are with you. also, i'm doing a whole 60. because April seems like it's going to be worse. so see you there.