UrsulaB11

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  1. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from SchrodingersCat in Bumpy journey to food freedom   
    The Whole30 program and mindset is clearly not a destination, but a journey and I think people who treat Whole 30 otherwise are doomed to fail. So, I am hoping that at least with my mind right on the approach, I can succeed, even though this is a tough road.
    For Day 1, I had wine. I had my usual, pre-W30 amount and the next day, I felt it, despite being hydrated. I fell asleep quickly but must not have slept well because I have been yawning all day and this is the first morning in weeks where I didn't want to go to work and wanted to go to bed. Even though work has been daunting lately, I usually get up and go and it is fine, but not today,  So, while it didn't keep me from going to work or even being productive, I felt a little compromised.  And, I was actually a little relieved(?) happy(?) that I was going to be fully W30 for the next couple of days. 
    Rule 1: No alcohol on school/work nights.
    Could Rule 1 be no alcohol at all? Sure, I guess so, but that's not workable for me. I like the taste of wine and beer and I think telling myself no more is like telling myself to stop blinking. (I'm sure you are trying that now and finding yourself to be very uncomfortable very quickly).  This needs to be a long term program and I feel like denying myself something that I really like is not a good idea to buttress my success.
     
  2. Like
    UrsulaB11 reacted to Contessa in Bumpy journey to food freedom   
    Absolutely love this thought! Perhaps we should use it as a guide and let it teach us more about how we respond to food.
    I appreciate your takeaway on alcohol, too. It affects me the same way, impairing my sleep. Wine and beer are great as weekend treats.
  3. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Next time I do a full round, I will make sure that it doesn't end right after a long weekend. A long weekend with beautiful weather and the sun beckoning us to enjoy some day drinking and snack food.
    Admittedly, while this supremely sucks not to be able to eat and drink like I might on a regular Labor Day weekend, it does feel good that I can manage some level of self-control and actually handle social situations with friends and remain not only compliant with Whole30, but only a tiny bit of jealously thrown in there. Also, when I talked about this with friends and explained that day 30 is Tuesday, they all agreed that bailing over the weekend was not worth it, so there was that bit of support. Admittedly, I could have kept my mouth shut and just imbibed, but....
    I've also managed to get in a couple of workouts this weekend, so while I feel strong in my conviction, I am also physically improving as well. While I am off the proverbial clock on Wednesday, I have decided not to do anything different until Friday. Based on what I have read on other Whole30 groups on FB, I am a little worried that my reactions to certain foods may be more extreme than what I experienced before since my body is not completely clean. So, I think the weekends are the right time for experimenting. I made a reservation at Hank's Oyster Bar and plan on ordering:

    I'll just need to confirm that they grill/cook the green beans without butter. If this won't work, they have oysters, peel and eat shrimp and mussels that will work. And with this will be a glass of sauvignon blanc. I feel like planning on the first meal where I am going to be experimenting is a good idea and here I am just limiting it to wine. I suspect that my alcohol tolerance has reduced as well, so it may be a short night as a cheap date.
  4. Like
    UrsulaB11 reacted to Contessa in Contessa's Food Freedom   
    Feeling listless on a Friday night. I made plans to enjoy a breezy patio dinner at a restaurant with my fella tonight, but in the end we canceled the reservations out of COVID concerns. Infection rates in our area seem to be really high, and I am not sure I can handle two hours in public without a mask on, even if it's outdoors.
    "Your 'Surge Capacity' is Depleted — It's Why You Feel Awful"
    This essay has been making the rounds in my social media circles, including a repost from W30's Melissa Urban. It resonates with me. I continue to find help in hearing (reading) other people's reflections of life in the time of COVID. What is happening with COVID has upended so many dependable aspects of life for us. Particularly here in the States. It continues to be a huge adjustment!
    The article talks about building and maintaining friendships, and on building a "resilience bank account." I hear a lot of us here on the forum thinking in these terms as well. Gold stars for my W30 pals as we continue to navigate this challenging time.
  5. Like
    UrsulaB11 reacted to Contessa in Contessa's Food Freedom   
    Whew. It's Thursday and I am ready to reset! I don't know what the deal is, but I have slept poorly for the past couple of nights after enjoying some decadent homemade ice cream. Last night, I had legitimate acid reflux in the middle of the night! It was only the second time in my life that I've experienced that particular barrel of monkeys. (If you've never experienced acid reflux, don't rush out and experience it. It's really awful.) I don't feel like I had eaten a ton of ice cream, but whatever I ate was not loved by my body.
    This morning, after a fitful night of sleep, before I had even changed out of my pajamas, the decadent homemade ice cream went right into the garbage. Yep, there it is, melting all over yesterday's coffee grounds and eggshells.
    I have been feeling too good to sacrifice for that ice cream. That was decidedly #NotWorthIt. So thankful to have the framework of good W30 meals to fall back on. Onward, upward.
  6. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    About 5 hours ago, I was done. I had decided that I was going to eat compliant but have a glass (or 2) of wine. After swinging by our house going up from the ground, we went to a place we have been to since I started W30. My husband automatically ordered me sparkling water and peel and eat shrimp. Even though I told him this was hard and I wanted to give up. And yet, he supported me and I didn't fail.  Day 27 nearly in the books, with full compliance.  I'm surprised I made it, but I'm cautiously optimistic I will make it to day 30. 
  7. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    It's Thursday. I have had back to back client meetings since Monday, often not getting home until 10:30 or later and not falling asleep until 11:30 or later, followed by demanding days.  I'm tired. I feel like I have earned some sort of a respite tonight and I really want that to be a glass of wine.
    As I type the words, I am already feeling the logical responses in my head.
    I am getting a respite tonight - I get to work out. (I have to reserve the fitness center in my apartment and I have it reserved tonight) I will certainly feel great after that work out, especially after not working out for two days.
    My image of drinking wine includes a glass sitting outside somewhere, enjoying the weather. There are big thunderstorms rolling through our area tonight right around the 5-8pm timeline, so if I want to have a glass of wine and ruin everything on day 25, I am going to have to do it with grocery store wine and leftovers in my apartment. Um, yeah, I would wake up in the morning hating myself for falling off before day 30 under those circumstances.
    And seriously, if I think I am going to be able to continue eating this way for the most part after day 30, clearly that's not happening if I am failing on day 25. Just 5 more days and I gave up. 
    Thank you all for allowing me to work through this today.  My guess is that I will be back tomorrow ..... and every day after that until I hit 30, especially with gorgeous weather this weekend and pending brunch plans.
  8. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    It's Thursday. I have had back to back client meetings since Monday, often not getting home until 10:30 or later and not falling asleep until 11:30 or later, followed by demanding days.  I'm tired. I feel like I have earned some sort of a respite tonight and I really want that to be a glass of wine.
    As I type the words, I am already feeling the logical responses in my head.
    I am getting a respite tonight - I get to work out. (I have to reserve the fitness center in my apartment and I have it reserved tonight) I will certainly feel great after that work out, especially after not working out for two days.
    My image of drinking wine includes a glass sitting outside somewhere, enjoying the weather. There are big thunderstorms rolling through our area tonight right around the 5-8pm timeline, so if I want to have a glass of wine and ruin everything on day 25, I am going to have to do it with grocery store wine and leftovers in my apartment. Um, yeah, I would wake up in the morning hating myself for falling off before day 30 under those circumstances.
    And seriously, if I think I am going to be able to continue eating this way for the most part after day 30, clearly that's not happening if I am failing on day 25. Just 5 more days and I gave up. 
    Thank you all for allowing me to work through this today.  My guess is that I will be back tomorrow ..... and every day after that until I hit 30, especially with gorgeous weather this weekend and pending brunch plans.
  9. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    I weighed myself. Totally owning it. I just felt so light and my clothes were fitting better that I had to see. I, of course, had to give myself a pep talk in case I didn't like what was on the scale and recognized that I had to be a big girl about it and stay on this for the remainder diligently, regardless of the numbers. Fortunately, the numbers were good and that made me happy. Mostly, it made me happy that I dropped about a pound in a week without starving myself. I did exercise more since I worked from home, which certainly helped, but eating a lot while doing it was nice.
    I'm still thinking that I want to have more compliant than noncompliant days as I finish up the first round and I think that's doable if I have a plan.
  10. Like
    UrsulaB11 reacted to MadyVanilla in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    I really like this idea.  It goes along with my desire for structure.  I hope you continue to journal as you reintroduce!
  11. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    My morning shock today was when I started my journal entry and noted that today is day 23. That means my last day is September 8. I had counted it to the 9th. Which meant re-intro on the 10th. But I planned for the 11th in light of work commitments. So now, I can technically have a reintroduce day on the 9th (wine, I think) followed by compliant days on 10th and 11th and re-intro (dairy) on the 12th.   But I don’t think I’m going to do that. 
     
    I have a brutal schedule through the afternoon of the 11th and taking in a happy hour (sans non compliant food) sounds amazing. Plus, I’m worried that I won’t feel great the day after reintroduction and I’d rather be off work.
     
    And maybe that means I stay compliant all week and then reintroduce on Fridays? That sounds somewhat appealing, especially if I reintroduce and can reincorporate some items back in. 
    I still can’t believe I stuck to this for 23 days so far ...
  12. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    My morning shock today was when I started my journal entry and noted that today is day 23. That means my last day is September 8. I had counted it to the 9th. Which meant re-intro on the 10th. But I planned for the 11th in light of work commitments. So now, I can technically have a reintroduce day on the 9th (wine, I think) followed by compliant days on 10th and 11th and re-intro (dairy) on the 12th.   But I don’t think I’m going to do that. 
     
    I have a brutal schedule through the afternoon of the 11th and taking in a happy hour (sans non compliant food) sounds amazing. Plus, I’m worried that I won’t feel great the day after reintroduction and I’d rather be off work.
     
    And maybe that means I stay compliant all week and then reintroduce on Fridays? That sounds somewhat appealing, especially if I reintroduce and can reincorporate some items back in. 
    I still can’t believe I stuck to this for 23 days so far ...
  13. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Dear wine, cheese, scale, sushi, pasta, pizza and dessert:
    I miss you all, I really do. But it's been 19 days without most of you (took me a while to quit you scale) and I walked through Whole Foods after an intense workout and barely twinged when I caught sight of most of you. I read labels - and noted that items I looked at were already turned to ingredients, which I imagined meant that another Whole30-er had come down the aisle ahead of me - and didn't buy anything non compliant. My clothes fit well this morning. Yes, I need to lose some fat, but removing the bloat and inflammation brought me down to a reasonable girth for my clothing. And I accomplished a ton of work and other errands today without dragging around as a result of poor food choices or the glass of wine that I likely would have had to celebrate my win today.
    So look. I am starting to realize that not only can I live without all of you, I can thrive.  I guess this is what forming a new habit looks like. 
    But don't worry, there will be times that I will want to hang out with all of you - especially the scale - I just want to be smart and meaningfully interact with you all on my terms, not yours.
    Love,
    Me.
    PS it is entirely possible that I will change my opinion on this immediately and without warning and tell you how much I miss and love you all.
  14. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Dear wine, cheese, scale, sushi, pasta, pizza and dessert:
    I miss you all, I really do. But it's been 19 days without most of you (took me a while to quit you scale) and I walked through Whole Foods after an intense workout and barely twinged when I caught sight of most of you. I read labels - and noted that items I looked at were already turned to ingredients, which I imagined meant that another Whole30-er had come down the aisle ahead of me - and didn't buy anything non compliant. My clothes fit well this morning. Yes, I need to lose some fat, but removing the bloat and inflammation brought me down to a reasonable girth for my clothing. And I accomplished a ton of work and other errands today without dragging around as a result of poor food choices or the glass of wine that I likely would have had to celebrate my win today.
    So look. I am starting to realize that not only can I live without all of you, I can thrive.  I guess this is what forming a new habit looks like. 
    But don't worry, there will be times that I will want to hang out with all of you - especially the scale - I just want to be smart and meaningfully interact with you all on my terms, not yours.
    Love,
    Me.
    PS it is entirely possible that I will change my opinion on this immediately and without warning and tell you how much I miss and love you all.
  15. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from SchrodingersCat in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Dear wine, cheese, scale, sushi, pasta, pizza and dessert:
    I miss you all, I really do. But it's been 19 days without most of you (took me a while to quit you scale) and I walked through Whole Foods after an intense workout and barely twinged when I caught sight of most of you. I read labels - and noted that items I looked at were already turned to ingredients, which I imagined meant that another Whole30-er had come down the aisle ahead of me - and didn't buy anything non compliant. My clothes fit well this morning. Yes, I need to lose some fat, but removing the bloat and inflammation brought me down to a reasonable girth for my clothing. And I accomplished a ton of work and other errands today without dragging around as a result of poor food choices or the glass of wine that I likely would have had to celebrate my win today.
    So look. I am starting to realize that not only can I live without all of you, I can thrive.  I guess this is what forming a new habit looks like. 
    But don't worry, there will be times that I will want to hang out with all of you - especially the scale - I just want to be smart and meaningfully interact with you all on my terms, not yours.
    Love,
    Me.
    PS it is entirely possible that I will change my opinion on this immediately and without warning and tell you how much I miss and love you all.
  16. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Good suggestion. I have been buying Spindthrift sparkling water and I use it in the afternoon when I get a bit of a slump after drinking several bottles of water. I think part of the problem is that there is no "reward food" on the program. I know that's actually the point - we are supposed to eat when we are hungry and not be driven by compunction/cravings/hormones/emotions, but a little reward can go a long way. Someone had suggested kombucha and I read Melissa's article on it and I don't think I want to go there. 
    It's like we are breaking down our system of eating/drinking and after a lifetime of developing these habits, this is really hard. I'm not sure that 30 days is enough time to "break" all of the habits.
    But I'm committed and one of my Dailies on Habitica is that I eat compliant, so I anticipate that I will stay compliant but will be frustrated several days. I think tonight I am going to workout and hit Whole Foods. Just getting some different foods in here will help, I hope.
    13 days to go until reintroduction....
  17. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Good suggestion. I have been buying Spindthrift sparkling water and I use it in the afternoon when I get a bit of a slump after drinking several bottles of water. I think part of the problem is that there is no "reward food" on the program. I know that's actually the point - we are supposed to eat when we are hungry and not be driven by compunction/cravings/hormones/emotions, but a little reward can go a long way. Someone had suggested kombucha and I read Melissa's article on it and I don't think I want to go there. 
    It's like we are breaking down our system of eating/drinking and after a lifetime of developing these habits, this is really hard. I'm not sure that 30 days is enough time to "break" all of the habits.
    But I'm committed and one of my Dailies on Habitica is that I eat compliant, so I anticipate that I will stay compliant but will be frustrated several days. I think tonight I am going to workout and hit Whole Foods. Just getting some different foods in here will help, I hope.
    13 days to go until reintroduction....
  18. Like
    UrsulaB11 reacted to MadyVanilla in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    The thing with the wine...I guess a sparkling water maybe works for people who drink white wine, but I'm a red drinker.  Unsweetened cranberry juice mixed with seltzer, add some fruit...that could be a makeshift sangria.  Or is that SWYPO?  I don't know, just thinking "out loud."  
    The venting here in the forum is a lifesaver, just to get the thoughts out.  I hope you find something awesome at Whole Foods! 
    BTW-Habitica is really cool.  I'm still figuring it out, but I like it.  Thanks! 
  19. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Wow. Today has been hard. My husband is out of town, which I thought would help me to stick with the program since he wouldn’t be wanting to go out. Instead, I’m lonely. He’s been gone since early Friday and all I want is to either order food off program or to hit a bar. A glass of wine. Perhaps some great food from restaurant week. 
     
    And all of my food is chicken. So tired of chicken. I had a pork loin in the freezer but it has sugar. Insert heavy sigh. 
     
    Lesson. Have varied food choices pre made. Or at least some compliant meats in the freezer. Ugh. Guess I’m headed to Whole Foods tomorrow. 
     
    And it’s worth the effort, I get it. Just a tough night - grateful that I can vent here. 
  20. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from SchrodingersCat in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Wow. Today has been hard. My husband is out of town, which I thought would help me to stick with the program since he wouldn’t be wanting to go out. Instead, I’m lonely. He’s been gone since early Friday and all I want is to either order food off program or to hit a bar. A glass of wine. Perhaps some great food from restaurant week. 
     
    And all of my food is chicken. So tired of chicken. I had a pork loin in the freezer but it has sugar. Insert heavy sigh. 
     
    Lesson. Have varied food choices pre made. Or at least some compliant meats in the freezer. Ugh. Guess I’m headed to Whole Foods tomorrow. 
     
    And it’s worth the effort, I get it. Just a tough night - grateful that I can vent here. 
  21. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from SchrodingersCat in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Thank you @SchrodingersCat, @ShadowInTheKitchen and @MadyVanilla for your comments and sage advice.
    I wish I had checked in on the forum when I woke up because it might have kept me off the scale.  I caved and weighed myself and I am now on day 5 of a plateau. And of course, that's frustrating with the amount of effort I am putting in with food and exercise. But, I also know that plateaus are normal and, if I wasn't doing all of this, I would weigh more and feel like crap. I mean, through yesterday, I calculated that I would have had 4900 calories worth of wine by now, which means the scale would be up at least one pound, if not more, with bloat and inflammation.
    It is a craving, I get that. So, I think I am going to deal with it like I am dealing with other habits I am trying to break/ingrain. I found an app called Habitica and you put in things you have to do every day (or on certain days), plus optional habits (things you can do more than once in a day) and a to do list. You can an avatar and when you accomplish items, the avatar gets stronger and you have levels and stuff. There are also team challenges to defeat monsters and such, and if you fail to do it all, the team can be injured.  It's a little quirky, but having something that requires me to check off accomplishments has actually been effective. I think I am going to add not weighing myself to the daily list so that I have to do it to get points and help my teammates. 
    It's also Day 16, which means I am headed back down the mountain.
     
     
     
  22. Like
    UrsulaB11 reacted to MadyVanilla in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    No scale for you tomorrow - LOL!  I'm going to check out that app.  It sounds like exactly what I need to get myself in gear again.  
  23. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Thank you @SchrodingersCat, @ShadowInTheKitchen and @MadyVanilla for your comments and sage advice.
    I wish I had checked in on the forum when I woke up because it might have kept me off the scale.  I caved and weighed myself and I am now on day 5 of a plateau. And of course, that's frustrating with the amount of effort I am putting in with food and exercise. But, I also know that plateaus are normal and, if I wasn't doing all of this, I would weigh more and feel like crap. I mean, through yesterday, I calculated that I would have had 4900 calories worth of wine by now, which means the scale would be up at least one pound, if not more, with bloat and inflammation.
    It is a craving, I get that. So, I think I am going to deal with it like I am dealing with other habits I am trying to break/ingrain. I found an app called Habitica and you put in things you have to do every day (or on certain days), plus optional habits (things you can do more than once in a day) and a to do list. You can an avatar and when you accomplish items, the avatar gets stronger and you have levels and stuff. There are also team challenges to defeat monsters and such, and if you fail to do it all, the team can be injured.  It's a little quirky, but having something that requires me to check off accomplishments has actually been effective. I think I am going to add not weighing myself to the daily list so that I have to do it to get points and help my teammates. 
    It's also Day 16, which means I am headed back down the mountain.
     
     
     
  24. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Day 9 is proving to be tough. 
    Late meeting yesterday meant 10:00 p.m. arrival at home and no time with husband before showering and heading to bed. Early return to work for conference calls and after getting through an interview for a podcast, more emails, a nervous call from a client that needed reassurance and the day ending with uncharacteristic sunshine instead of the constant deluge of rain, I want a glass of wine outside somewhere. Why? Well, I feel kind of special being on the podcast. It was on leadership and they wanted me as their first guest (don't get excited, it's something in my industry, not that I am "someone") and that made me feel good. And it's been a really hectic few days so unwinding with a glass of wine with the husband sounds delightful, especially since he heads out of town Friday for 12 days.  And yes, having a glass of wine outside in the sun sounds so much better than hitting the treadmill, lifting and then eating my Whole30 dinner (leftover salmon).
    But why wine.... why not fizzy water with a lime? Well, I want to turn off my brain for a bit, dull the mental exhaustion I am feeling after some busy days. And, my husband says he doesn't like drinking alone, so if we go out somewhere and I don't drink, he will have less fun. And yes, I have been weighing myself every day even though you aren't supposed to and after the weight falling off like water, it stopped. I know that it was mostly water weight and bloat and the real weight loss isn't going to happen until the later stages, but I see why people fall off the program around this time if hey are weighing themselves.
    Logical side of me says that I will accomplish the same effects by working out and being proud of that progress.  Plus, it will push me more towards weight loss than just eating well. Finally, it's been 9 days and throwing all of that away just because I feel good about myself and it isn't raining seems like a stupid idea. And tomorrow I will wake up and be mad at myself. Mad that I undid what I started, mad that I should have been healthy and worked out and mad that I threw that all away over a stupid glass of wine that I wanted just because it was sunny outside.  Plus, I'll be dehydrated and with the amount of work I have on my plate, that is only going to make my life worse. And, if I have a drink, I wll likely be thinking about all of this and hating myself, meaning it would not be enjoyable.
    Lots of people quit things and its ok, When my husband and I climbed Kilimanjaro (bad idea, don't do it), I broke down crying about 2 hours from he summit, just miserable. With my husband's support, I made it to the top.  After we got back down the mountain, showered and met our fellow hikers for dinner, several of the guys remarked that had I turned around and quit, they would have too. While that made me feel "better," the fact that I made it to the top was such an amazing high (no pun intended) that I didn't care. So is this my Kili moment? The moment that I turn around and back down the mountain with others who want to give up to? Or is it the moment I buck up and push through. 
    Sometimes I hate logical side of me. She's really persuasive.  
    My hope is that my next post tomorrow is for Day 10 and not Day 1.  
     
  25. Like
    UrsulaB11 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Ursula's Whole 30 log.. late start   
    Confessional.
    I have to admit, I haven't been following ALL of the rules. .... I have been weighing myself daily. 
    I know, I know, I shouldn't have done it, but it's done.  I liked doing it because the immediate weight drop was a little exciting. I know that a hunk of that was water and bloat and not fat, but seeing the rapid weight change when I modified my diet showed me truly how impactful certain ingredients could be. 
    And then I plateaued.... for 3 days.  The third day was yesterday.
    This morning, I got up and the dog was whimpering, which means that there is a bodily fluid (or solid) or some variety that wants to escape an orifice. The shortest warning time is for vomit, so as I hopped out of bed and looked at the scale, I decided not to weigh myself. I knew that the result would be bad no matter what. If I lost weight, I would be all positive about the program, but for the wrong reasons. The program is not designed for weight loss but to promote thoughtful eating, which often results in weight loss. And I knew if I went up - which was possible since I ate out last night - I would be discouraged.  So, I didn't get on it.
    I am going to stop weighing myself every day.  My plan is to weigh myself Wednesday (day 17) and then not again until day 30.  I'm not sure I am going to be able to stick to that, but I am going to give it the college try.