Hey all! It's been a long couple of months around the world, but especially in NYC. As the weather cooled down, I got self reflective. Spending long hours at home has uncovered an interest in experimenting in the kitchen, and it's been quite the journey since April. I started with meal kits, then went vegan for a month, and continued to learn my way around any food restrictions I was following at the time. By the time September rolled around, I had gained plenty of weight, was tired alll the time, and known in my family as the one with "the sensitive stomach".
As learned from Melissa's podcast, I'm a Questioner- so I need to do plenty of research to justify something as (what seemed) drastic as Whole30. I heard of the program from my sister and a friend, but neither of them where able to make it past 20 days. These are two very hard-working, committed people, and they couldn't reach a goal that I wanted to set for myself. How could I even attempt? The difference between these women and I, I realized, is how much I truly wanted this. I did the research, I knew what I could gain, and I set a goal. I was nervous, because I'm the youngest of 4 siblings and I've grown up in a headspace that I was expected to fail. So I mentally and physically prepared as much as I possibly could, got ready to tuck myself away for a month, and started the day after labor day.
30 days later, I completed a goal. It meant a lot to me. My post-whole30 life has almost been more a process than my actual 30 days. I am constantly navigating what food freedom means to me, how to deal with regret and turn it into a learning experience, and so much more. But every time *almost* I fail, I feel motivated. And I am very slowly, but very surly, making my way to another goal. That goal, is to be comfortable with failure, spend most of my days with a peaceful stomach, and be proud of where my body is going. That goal is a process in itself.
One thing I should mention-I've gone up two pant sizes since my Whole30. That's right. up. two. But I am so confident in saying that my body is the healthiest it's ever been. I truly feel like I am being carried through life with this body that I want to nourish and thank for all the places it takes me. We have fights. I get mad. I get pissed about having to buy new clothes, or not feeling skinny, or how I feel when I accidentally compare myself to Instagram models. But like I said, I'm on a journey that I'm really enjoying, and I hope I can share it with some people too!