Ari.

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  1. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from MusicalCracker in It's all in your head   
    Great job! Big victory!! During my spring break vacation I decided that I would give relaxing and having a good time new meaning: not consuming foods that would make me emotionally unstable and physically uncomfortable. I was able to stick to the template as well and found that rather than longing for the cupcake my friend was having, I was indulging in the delicious feeling of well being! We managed to really treat ourselves
  2. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from PonyLove in The crazy things people say   
    "You HAVE to treat yourself, you deserve it"
    Are you telling me I should put something into my body that is going to wreak havoc and I deserve the imminent sickness that will follow? Thank you...?
  3. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from PonyLove in The crazy things people say   
    "You HAVE to treat yourself, you deserve it"
    Are you telling me I should put something into my body that is going to wreak havoc and I deserve the imminent sickness that will follow? Thank you...?
  4. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from lexes42 in Obsessed with body image   
    CaseyD, it's really interesting to hear from your perspective. I had a friend when I was just a teenager that I considered beautiful and perfect. I met her after she had lost a lot of weight and one day she told me that nothing changed inside of her even after losing weight, she still hated how she looked. That completely went over my head when I was young and it wasn't until last year that I reflected on what she said. I think that as humans we have a need to choose measurable representations of our goals, obviously. But I think many of us look at weight loss as the only measure of true happiness and self love, maybe because it's something that we do have control over (relative to other things). We don't have much control over the external world, but we can decide that losing body fat will lead to happiness and gaining body fat will lead to misery. But as many of us have come to realize, happiness does not come from how much we weigh. That would mean loving ourselves only conditionally. I hope I can learn to love myself unconditionally and treat my body with respect.
  5. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from melcrawf in Obsessed with body image   
    Wow thank you guys so much for your responses, they were truly EXACTLY what I was looking for and needed to hear. Kirsteen, your post made me tear up. Thank you for sharing your journey with me, it was extremely eye opening. For the first time in my life I am actually open to hearing and absorbing the concept of self acceptance. I always felt like the only path to true acceptance by myself and others was through weight loss. What a joke. You guys all said it- other people (even myself) have legitimate things to worry about. I have denied myself basic happiness for a long time and it's just not worth it. The whole concept of the Whole30 has been really eye opening and I am so thankful that a random customer suggested ISWF a couple months back.
    I have a somewhat active lifestyle, not so much for exercising but because I work on my feet and am running all over a school campus lugging books 4 days a week. I have never really considered exercising to feel better! It's always been -"Well I suppose I'll try for a bit to get this weight loss thing on the road". And then I end up doing exercises I don't even really enjoy. I'm sure incorporating some nature walks and stretching would do wonders for me emotionally and physically. It's been a pleasure reading everyone's input, thanks again
  6. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from melcrawf in Obsessed with body image   
    I successfully completed my first Whole30 last month. I want to begin a second Whole30 but there has been something in my way.
    I have obsessed over my appearance everyday for the last 10 years. I am probably 30 pounds over my "ideal" weight, and the most I have lost in these 10 years is 15 pounds. You'd think for someone who thinks about losing weight and talks about losing weight- at nauseum- would have managed to do it by now.
    My Whole30 was the first time I said screw the weight loss thing, I just want to feel better. This time last year, there's no way I would allow myself to stop thinking I need to be skinnier. I have convinced myself that if I just wear sweaters in 90 degree weather and cover myself up as much as possible that no one will notice that I have some extra pounds to lose. But I have recently decided, who cares how you look on the outside if you feel good on the inside? During my first Whole30, I felt amazing without losing any weight. And that's when I realized that maybe my focus should not even be on how my body looks, because who is honestly judging me?
    I know the program talks a lot about body image, ditching the scale and not listening to the media. I would like to know if there are any former body-obsessed folks who have successfully become a healthier version of themselves with self acceptance. And if you would care to dispense any wisdom for someone who is just now (kind of) seeing the light?
  7. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from lexes42 in Obsessed with body image   
    CaseyD, it's really interesting to hear from your perspective. I had a friend when I was just a teenager that I considered beautiful and perfect. I met her after she had lost a lot of weight and one day she told me that nothing changed inside of her even after losing weight, she still hated how she looked. That completely went over my head when I was young and it wasn't until last year that I reflected on what she said. I think that as humans we have a need to choose measurable representations of our goals, obviously. But I think many of us look at weight loss as the only measure of true happiness and self love, maybe because it's something that we do have control over (relative to other things). We don't have much control over the external world, but we can decide that losing body fat will lead to happiness and gaining body fat will lead to misery. But as many of us have come to realize, happiness does not come from how much we weigh. That would mean loving ourselves only conditionally. I hope I can learn to love myself unconditionally and treat my body with respect.
  8. Like
    Ari. reacted to Angela23 in Starting Whole60 today! (6/5)   
    Hello!
     
    May I join too? I totally relate to thinking about waiting until life is less stressful (I'm unemployed and anniversary of my mother's death coming up). But can't help thinking that these things are easier to cope with when I am feeling well! And I made it to day 15 on Monday when everything fell apart and seeing immediate consequences of going off in middle of the 30. Including increased stress and less energy!
     
    Angela
     
  9. Like
    Ari. reacted to missmunchie in Starting Whole60 today! (6/5)   
    I re-started today (6/6). As long as DH doesn't hand me a glass of wine this evening, I'll have day 1 in the bag!
  10. Like
    Ari. reacted to kew in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    The idea of fat as armor is very powerful.  I wonder if the fact that fat is biologically active is somehow part of that psychological reality.  Best of luck in your quest, Ari.  I hope you will come back to this forum whenever you need a lift -- as you've seen, it's a pretty amazing virtual community.  
  11. Like
    Ari. reacted to amy3509 in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling discouraged and unsure.  This stuff is really, really hard.  Please remember that you have been using sugar as a coping strategy for good, logical reasons.  You needed help making it through and this is the tool you knew.  That doesn't mean it doesn't have serious downsides of course, and I applaud you for looking for a new way to cope.  I just say the above to give you permission to not beat yourself up about it, in case you have been.
     
    Sugar is so powerful from a physiological perspective - it really takes hold, and fast.  From an emotional perspective it delivers a hit in a similar way to any other mood altering drug and serves much the same purpose.  Getting out from under a sugar habit/addiction/reliance (however you want to label it) can be complicated, or at least that has been my experience.
     
    I have been on a journey for a number of years now, trying to sort out nutrition, emotional health, etc etc.  The mistake I made in the past was to look for a single silver bullet - one approach that was the 'right' one to help me nourish myself well and not use food to self medicate.  In the past year I have read a lot of Geneen Roth's books.  Lots and lots of good stuff can be found there.  Most notably, her approach of 'inquiry', meaning noticing and being curious about your emotions, cravings, thought processes without judgement but with an intent to slow down and feel your emotions rather than running from them/numbing them with food.  Food is only one way that people try to numb, others are shopping, sex, gambling, drugs, booze, etc.  Her advice helped me to be less judgmental of myself, seeing value in myself, and learning a new way of seeing emotional health as it relates to food.  The downside to her approach for me is that it just barely glosses over the physical effect that food has on us and how it drives our eating habits.  She tells you to eat what you want, but to always listen to your body and give it what it wants (not what your emotions want).  For me, this is where Whole9 comes in.  Whole30 wasn't enough for me (I did a whole30 before I read this other stuff and was left with the same emotional baggage), Geneen Roth's approach wasn't enough (didn't address the addictive nature of sugar for me), but the two together have been helping me to heal and develop new patterns and coping strategies.  Just a thought, ymmv.
     
    It might be helpful to keep in mind that these things take some time to heal - as one previous poster mentioned, these coping strategies have been with us since childhood, so it is tough to beat them in 30 days.  That said, the 30 days is an investment, a start, a positive balance in your health account.  Stay curious, look for answers that you connect with, and continue to nourish yourself well and you will get there, even if it isn't a linear/continually upward trajectory.  Expect slips, expect times when the whole thing annoys you, etc, but also expect lots of good as well.
  12. Like
    Ari. reacted to melbournegirl in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    Ari, I got to the stage where the pain of being addicted to sugar was ruining my life. I couldn't pass up free cakes at work ever, and I kept sneaking back to the kitchen for more till they were gone. I used to eat bags of lollies at a time. Not often but when I did I overdid! My mum and sister developed diabetes and I knew it was a potential problem for me but I managed to reduce my risk by exercising.
     
    Anyway I did a whole30 okay but I still felt obsessed with sugar so I did a whole100 from Dec21 till end April and missed both Christmas and Easter junkfests. I gained a bit of weight on my whole100 BUT I BROKE MY SUGAR DRAGON. I no longer eat sweets or candy of any sort. I don't even use honey or maple syrup. I occasionally have dark chocolate. When I want something sweet I cook up eggs with raisins, or have some dates, or blueberries, or bake a sweet potato. If I am offered a freebie something with sugar in it I will consider it if it has some real ingredients in that have nutritional value (like a fruit and quinoa mini muffin I get on airplanes sometimes).  I am so much happier not having to "control" how much sugar I have.
     
    I wish you luck fighting your dragon.
  13. Like
    Ari. reacted to birder in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    I am struggling with sugar as well.  I have for as long as I remember and I see the same pattern in all three of my kids (2 are not even biological so I can totally blame myself for teaching them that).  I took a class with a mental health counselor about 8 years ago called No More Diets.  It was based on the book with the same name.  I learned so many good skills for not eating but I continued on a cycle of losing and gaining for another 7 years.  I am terrified I am not done with it yet but I have maintained for a year and actually just lost some more weight with my first Whole 30.  My main motivation for the Whole30 was to get past my sugar habit.  I really relied on it anytime I was uncomfortable as well as when I just wanted to feel good.  I had to travel at lunch for my job and almost ran out of gas the 2nd week in because I had not used it as an excuse to stop and get a mid day candy bar.  My Whole30 showed me I can get past it and it gave me the chance to actually use the skills I learned so long ago.  We can learn all we want but if we don't practice it will never happen.  
    I finished my 1st whole 30 5 days ago, I spent these 5 days at a workshop surrounded by candy and I decided it was not worth it.  I ate a Hershey's kiss when cooking with my son the other day and realized it tasted gross.  I would rather have cocoa nibs.  Am I cured?  No, I know there are triggers out there and chances are the sugar will creep back into my life. But I think it will take longer this time because I had those 30 days to practice living without and using other coping skills.  
    I heard something this year that really helped me stick it out.  I can't remember the source though.  It was a study that found that for a person's beliefs to change she first had to change her practices.  Once you are doing it you can believe it.  Good luck.  
  14. Like
    Ari. reacted to cayenne in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    Yeah, he sure is sexy and dangerous-we love bad boys, don't we?
     
    Growing up, my single mom would sit us down on Saturday nites with cola, chips, cookies and we would watch the Love Boat, Fantasy island and the Sat Night Live. Those were great times and the one night we could all just enjoy ourselves as she worked 2 jobs to support 3 kids. Frozen dinners, casseroles, all easy, fast and cheap. So yeah, it is tough understanding the pull of these comfort foods and how immediate the comfort hits after you eat them. That is so good-fast-and your brain just lights up!
     
    The first thing I think about when I am stressed is sugar, carbs etc but now-62 days in-it is just a brief second and I am on to something else. I admit, I am not 100%-but damn near 99.9% because I will not obsess if my vinegar has some kind of "ite" in it.
     
    I blew it on Wed with a planned cheat but it was so disastrous that I just want to pretend it never happened. The cheat lasted about 2 hours and was completely unsatisfying. I decided over the last 60 plus days, I have actually took the time to COOK for myself and pay attention to the goodness of what I am making. Slowly, without me even realizing it, I have discovered that I am able to nourish myself.
    And at 54 yo, THAT is a new feeling.
    Sugar and carbs, for me, trigger crap behavior. I knew that before this way of eating. I never had a handle on getting past the cravings until now. I cheated a couple days ago, with carbs and sugar, BUT the next day, right back on track without any recurrence of cravings like I had to start over.
    I think I will always want sugar, of course. And this week-I formally weigh 100 pounds less than I did at my heaviest. That is a lot of armour. my friend.
  15. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from kew in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    missmunchie I know exactly where you are going with this. I feel like I would be lost without my extra weight, like someone would be taking my baby blanket away. I can't imagine myself thin, I just wouldn't know how to act (even though logically I know I would be the same exact person). It's really a shame that all of this has to be so psychological. I am glad we are both here because at least we're not in denial
  16. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from kew in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    And it is very true that I need to gain perspective on what's worse: the pain of living without the sugar dragon or the pain of living with the sugar dragon. 
  17. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from Angela23 in Starting Whole60 today! (6/5)   
    I successfully completed my first Whole30 in May and after several guilt ridden posts about how off track I'd gone...here I am! I just finished school a couple of weeks ago and have been indulging food and sleep. The idea sounds great, but it made me feel awful.
     
    I am moving, changing jobs and switching schools in August, so I have been extremely overwhelmed and decided that I needed to focus on all of that this summer and my next Whole30 would have to come later when I settled in. But I finally realized yesterday that my health should be the most important thing in my life. Changes are momentary but health is 24/7. Even during my first Whole30 I viewed it as a slight inconvenience against all of my other obligations. This time around, I am going to complete a Whole60 which will give me 30 days to focus on the physical and 30 days to focus on the mental. I need to find alternative coping methods which I didn't bother with the first time. I just ignored my emotions.
     
    So I am not as prepared as I'd like to be to start today but I know I can make it work. Looking after our health should be unconditional right? Here I go!
  18. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from Angela23 in Starting Whole60 today! (6/5)   
    I successfully completed my first Whole30 in May and after several guilt ridden posts about how off track I'd gone...here I am! I just finished school a couple of weeks ago and have been indulging food and sleep. The idea sounds great, but it made me feel awful.
     
    I am moving, changing jobs and switching schools in August, so I have been extremely overwhelmed and decided that I needed to focus on all of that this summer and my next Whole30 would have to come later when I settled in. But I finally realized yesterday that my health should be the most important thing in my life. Changes are momentary but health is 24/7. Even during my first Whole30 I viewed it as a slight inconvenience against all of my other obligations. This time around, I am going to complete a Whole60 which will give me 30 days to focus on the physical and 30 days to focus on the mental. I need to find alternative coping methods which I didn't bother with the first time. I just ignored my emotions.
     
    So I am not as prepared as I'd like to be to start today but I know I can make it work. Looking after our health should be unconditional right? Here I go!
  19. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from Shelda17 in Starting Whole60 today! (6/5)   
    Hi, I would love to be buddies! I have been through one Whole30 so I might be able to answer some questions that arise, and you might have some advice on stress relieving strategies! Either way, moral support is always a huge plus. Good luck to us both!! And congrats! 
  20. Like
    Ari. reacted to 1Maryann in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    Some of us wear excess weight like a suit of armor.  It both physically and emotionally keeps others at a distance.
  21. Like
    Ari. reacted to Fenderbender in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    We all learned different methods of self soothing as young children..... Some healthy, some not so healthy. I'm willing to bet that one of your primary care givers shoved something sweet in your mouth every time you cried or was scared or acted up as a child.
    Sugar is a POWERFUL drug! And your brain will hard wire to it very quickly.... My suggestion is start a w30, but turn it into a 60 or ninety and give your system time to really level out....
    While doing this....explore ( professionally or on your own) what makes you tick and new methods of self management and self soothing....
    Good luck
  22. Like
    Ari. reacted to Kirsteen in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    Ari, I really wish you every success with this. Take good care of yourself, you're worth it.
  23. Like
    Ari. reacted to LadyM in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    I hear you. I had one off road on Day 48 and then got back on the W30 I started April 7. I still have to be really careful with fruit, and I've decided to just cut it altogether for the foreseeable future.
    Sugar is a drug, period, and it works like one for better and for worse. If your addiction is this strong, then you are more than likely headed for diabetes if you don't tackle it head on. If you try to quit it without addressing the addiction and gaining some alternative coping skills, the results will be painful if not harmful.
    I absolutely second what Kirsteen said, and I hope you can be gentle with yourself. When the pain of not kicking sugar becomes more painful than another W30, you'll be ready. Give yourself the time and support that you need.
  24. Like
    Ari. reacted to cayenne in I don't know how to give up sugar.   
    I guess the biggest question is...Do you want to give up sugar? I re-read your post and from what you said, I don't know if you want to give it up. The bottom line, I guess, is does the frustration of the sugar demon outweigh the pleasure/comfort you get from the sugary stuff? If it doesn't, then it will continue to be a issue. Good luck! Quite the dilemma.......
  25. Like
    Ari. got a reaction from PonyLove in The crazy things people say   
    "You HAVE to treat yourself, you deserve it"
    Are you telling me I should put something into my body that is going to wreak havoc and I deserve the imminent sickness that will follow? Thank you...?