lauraska

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  1. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from mary-t in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    I've been reading and catching up on this thread and wanted to say THANK YOU to all of the people who had such kind supportive words to say, not just to me, but to others who shared parts of themselves in this thread. I am not very good at being open about things like this and you made it possible for me to share memories that I haven't shared with anyone other than a couple select family members.
    I was inspired to come over to this thread this morning after something very nice happened to me this morning. So here's a little story for you all that literally just happened an hour or so ago that reminded me that beauty is subjective but it's okay to acknowledge your own...
    I work on an ivy league college campus FULL of traditionally gorgeous co-eds. As a staffer, I'm used to sort of being in the background of college life. I walked into Starbucks this morning, as I do every morning, and ordered from the new guy - very young (I'm 35..he was probably 20?) and quite handsome, although I admit I didn't really notice until he started talking to me. He took my order and then said, "You know, your necklace is beautiful." I thanked him and said it was my grandmother's. He said she must have had great taste. I gave him my credit card and he asked for my ID, as I have "ask for ID" written on the card. But then he just held on to my ID and kept staring it. I was starting to get uncomfortable when he looked up and said, "Sorry, I was doing the math. Are you really 35?" At first, I was like, who is this freakin' kid and why is he announcing my age to all of Starbucks? Does he think I look 45?? But then he was like, "I'm sorry. It's just, I saw your wedding ring and assumed you must have gotten married really young because I really thought you were a student." At this point, everyone behind the counter has stopped to stare at him with looks of utter terror on their faces because I think they thought I was going to flip out. I said, "Well thank you, but I am indeed 35 with a two year old kid and I haven't been a student in almost a decade. You made my day, though!" He told me he swore it wasn't a line ("I have a girlfriend!," he said.)...he really just thought I was the prettiest woman he'd served coffee to all morning and he wanted to let me know.
    The moral of this story is that he didn't see the poochy post-baby belly that I see, or the chubby fingers that I despise, or the uneven pigmentation on my arms and legs, or hastily pulled back hair because I desperately need a haircut, or the imperfect teeth that show when I smile. He saw beauty. We should all see in ourselves what others see in us.
    Anyway, sorry for the novel. I just had that happen this morning and instantly thought of this thread. Hope everyone is well.
  2. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from Partridge in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    Okay, so maybe I do need to say something. I don't really get why this is so hard to understand, though. There was not a single one of us who held up weight loss as the end-all-be-all goal of this process. I went back and read every single post and ALL of us talked about the other aspects of our lives that would be improved by sticking to a Whole30 and not focusing on weight. If weight loss is an ancillary goal for us, it doesn't mean we are saying that it should be a goal for you! We were all very clear that simply "being fat" is not what we were concerned about. We were all quick to point out that our concerns were actually about the struggle to not worry about weight even though a part of us believes that severe obesity can cause health issues. No one here has tried to impose their beliefs on you, but you sure have tried to impose them on us. Many of us shared some very personal and painful details of our journeys here. You didn't share a single one, but proceeded to talk about how we had "triggered" you and threw every thing that we had just said right back in our faces. And again, here you are, after peace has been made, throwing blame around that isn't deserved and projecting your own issues on a group of people who have done NOTHING to you. I'm going to throw my hands up in the air and walk away now.
  3. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from Partridge in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    Frankly, I'm tired of being accused of being "offensive" or hating fat people when I've already made it pretty darn clear that I don't. I have been very open and honest in this thread, and it's pretty insulting to then be told that I'm "triggering" any sort of bad feelings in someone else. Because I have a personal struggle between accepting myself as I am and being the healthiest person I can be, it doesn't mean I'm hating anything or anyone. I'm pretty sure I'm done with this thread, which makes me kind of sad because I was really happy to be sharing with many of you.
  4. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from mary-t in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    I've been reading and catching up on this thread and wanted to say THANK YOU to all of the people who had such kind supportive words to say, not just to me, but to others who shared parts of themselves in this thread. I am not very good at being open about things like this and you made it possible for me to share memories that I haven't shared with anyone other than a couple select family members.
    I was inspired to come over to this thread this morning after something very nice happened to me this morning. So here's a little story for you all that literally just happened an hour or so ago that reminded me that beauty is subjective but it's okay to acknowledge your own...
    I work on an ivy league college campus FULL of traditionally gorgeous co-eds. As a staffer, I'm used to sort of being in the background of college life. I walked into Starbucks this morning, as I do every morning, and ordered from the new guy - very young (I'm 35..he was probably 20?) and quite handsome, although I admit I didn't really notice until he started talking to me. He took my order and then said, "You know, your necklace is beautiful." I thanked him and said it was my grandmother's. He said she must have had great taste. I gave him my credit card and he asked for my ID, as I have "ask for ID" written on the card. But then he just held on to my ID and kept staring it. I was starting to get uncomfortable when he looked up and said, "Sorry, I was doing the math. Are you really 35?" At first, I was like, who is this freakin' kid and why is he announcing my age to all of Starbucks? Does he think I look 45?? But then he was like, "I'm sorry. It's just, I saw your wedding ring and assumed you must have gotten married really young because I really thought you were a student." At this point, everyone behind the counter has stopped to stare at him with looks of utter terror on their faces because I think they thought I was going to flip out. I said, "Well thank you, but I am indeed 35 with a two year old kid and I haven't been a student in almost a decade. You made my day, though!" He told me he swore it wasn't a line ("I have a girlfriend!," he said.)...he really just thought I was the prettiest woman he'd served coffee to all morning and he wanted to let me know.
    The moral of this story is that he didn't see the poochy post-baby belly that I see, or the chubby fingers that I despise, or the uneven pigmentation on my arms and legs, or hastily pulled back hair because I desperately need a haircut, or the imperfect teeth that show when I smile. He saw beauty. We should all see in ourselves what others see in us.
    Anyway, sorry for the novel. I just had that happen this morning and instantly thought of this thread. Hope everyone is well.
  5. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from praxisproject in PCOS Support Thread   
    Are there any other women here who are experimenting with Whole30 and paleo eating to combat PCOS?
    I was first diagnosed with PCOS at age 16 and have battled it for the last 18 years. I have gained and lost the same 60+ lbs over and over again. I managed to get pregnant with my now-15-month-old son with some minor fertility assistance, but I was overweight at the time, suffered from GD and preeclampsia during the pregnancy, and am now at my highest weight EVER. I've finally decided to take control of this condition and really fight it tooth and nail.
    Last week, I had my first appointment with an amazing PCOS specialist who was (surprisingly) the FIRST physician to diagnose me with insulin resistance (something I've known for years) and prescribed me medication to combat it. I know the Whole30 might frown upon using meds to help the process along, but my hope is that I can eventually stop taking the medication once I've lost enough weight and gotten my lifestyle in check.
    My long-ish term goal is to have lost about 75 lbs by this time next year and to be able to start trying to get pregnant with #2 without ANY fertility help. My immediate and ongoing goals are to change my life and stop feeling trapped in a body that I don't think represents the real me.
    So that's my PCOS battle in a nutshell. Anybody else?
  6. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from praxisproject in PCOS Support Thread   
    Are there any other women here who are experimenting with Whole30 and paleo eating to combat PCOS?
    I was first diagnosed with PCOS at age 16 and have battled it for the last 18 years. I have gained and lost the same 60+ lbs over and over again. I managed to get pregnant with my now-15-month-old son with some minor fertility assistance, but I was overweight at the time, suffered from GD and preeclampsia during the pregnancy, and am now at my highest weight EVER. I've finally decided to take control of this condition and really fight it tooth and nail.
    Last week, I had my first appointment with an amazing PCOS specialist who was (surprisingly) the FIRST physician to diagnose me with insulin resistance (something I've known for years) and prescribed me medication to combat it. I know the Whole30 might frown upon using meds to help the process along, but my hope is that I can eventually stop taking the medication once I've lost enough weight and gotten my lifestyle in check.
    My long-ish term goal is to have lost about 75 lbs by this time next year and to be able to start trying to get pregnant with #2 without ANY fertility help. My immediate and ongoing goals are to change my life and stop feeling trapped in a body that I don't think represents the real me.
    So that's my PCOS battle in a nutshell. Anybody else?
  7. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from [email protected] in Do you find yourself judging?   
    I only find myself judging others when they try to argue with me about my eating habits. Just this last weekend, a relative made me promise that I'd told my doctor I was eating this way and that she'd okay'd it because "it definitely was not the healthiest thing to do." A) My physician was actually ecstatic to hear I was already eating this way because I have PCOS and was diagnosed recently as insulin resistant. This is EXACTLY the way to go when it comes to my issues, although this relative rolled her eyes when I said that. And B ) This was coming from a woman who is more than 100 lbs overweight, has been diagnosed as pre-diabetic and was told to eat a diabetic diet (ie low-carb) but figures that just cutting out pasta should do the trick. She can barely walk due to ankle problems that are likely related to inflammation/poor circulation AND she just quit smoking after 30+ years because her sister died of lung cancer in June. And yet, she is dictating to me what is healthy?!?!
    My husband is also questioning the changes I'm making and gets very angry when I dismiss his opinions as nothing more than his own personal insecurities about the idea that bagels and pasta might not be things he should eat. I've had to come to the conclusion that I don't need to feel bad about this. In the beginning, I was doing what some other commenters to this thread have said they do - I hid the fact that I was eating this way. But darnit, I've had to overcome a lot of issues with food, body image, and self-confidence to get to this point in my life and I'll be damned if I'm going to just create a whole NEW shame. I try not to judge, but the only people who should be ashamed are the ones who continue to put their lives in danger by eating poorly.
    Oh, and I also feel a secret pride when I compare my grocery cart to others. I just can't help it.
  8. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from Juliet47 in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    I've always been fat, too, and nothing here offended me at all. It's just a difference of opinion and I sort of like that people have been able to respectfully debate about it in this thread. I don't think anyone was attacking anyone else or being unsupportive. As I said in one of my posts, I think that what the medical community classifies as obese (through the BMI scale) is ridiculous, BUT I do think there is a line, that is specific to each person, where weight goes from being a virtual non-factor to having some real health consequences. I don't think it's right to judge a person based solely on their weight, but I also think it's a slippery slope to say we shouldn't be encouraging healthy weight loss at all because it doesn't have anything to do with health. It is not the end-all-be-all of health, but it IS a factor, whether we like to believe it or not.
  9. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from Juliet47 in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    When I started my first Whole30 over the summer, I had about 85 lbs to lose. I'm almost 36 lbs down and I'm determined to lose that last 50 so that I will be at my ideal weight for the first time...ever. I grew up as the fat kid in a family full of people who had no problems keeping weight off and refused to understand that I might not be that way. My relationship with food turned bad as a pre-teen when my mother decided that the way to address my steady weight gain was to constantly shame and humiliate me about every morsel of food I put into my mouth. It wasn't until just this past year, at the age of 34, that I was diagnosed with insulin resistance, which explained how I could lose the same 50 lbs only to reach a point where weight just started piling back on no matter how much I scrambled to keep it off. Now, the combo of the right medication and Whole30 is making it possible for me to lose this weight slowly and happily...without shame or constant self-doubt.
    My mother dragged me to WW for a few months during the summer between middle school and high school. I lost 25 lbs, plateaued, and then the weight started creeping back even though I was still recording what I ate and following the program. My last weigh-in was marked by my mother yelling at me about how she was wasting money on the meetings when I was obviously lying about what I was eating. I have never even considered another WW membership since that day and never will.
    I think there is a serious difference between fat and obese. Someone can be fat and be healthy. While I think that what the medical community classifies as obese is ridiculous, I really do believe that there is a certain point where being overweight becomes dangerous and unhealthy. Is it specific to each individual? Yes. While part of me thinks that fat acceptance is a positive thing, I also don't think that telling people that being dangerously overweight is okay as long as they love themselves. It's a fine line, but it does exist.
    Anyway, I like this thread and I'm glad it's here.
  10. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from Lyolya in Yoga Anyone? Thinking of ditching the crazy for something new.   
    As part of my Whole30, I'm also doing a "30 Day Yoga Challenge" where I do some form of yoga every single day for 30 days. I do try to listen to my body, though, so that I do the more intense styles on days when I have more energy. On days when I'm feeling sore or worn out, I might just do a short class or a more relaxed style. I joined www.yogaglo.com to take online classes in a variety of styles and it's worked out very well so far. I also take some live Vinyasa flow and Bikram classes - probably one to two each week. Haven't done that this week, though, because I've been sick so my yoga workouts have been pretty easy. Good luck!
  11. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from mary-t in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    I've been reading and catching up on this thread and wanted to say THANK YOU to all of the people who had such kind supportive words to say, not just to me, but to others who shared parts of themselves in this thread. I am not very good at being open about things like this and you made it possible for me to share memories that I haven't shared with anyone other than a couple select family members.
    I was inspired to come over to this thread this morning after something very nice happened to me this morning. So here's a little story for you all that literally just happened an hour or so ago that reminded me that beauty is subjective but it's okay to acknowledge your own...
    I work on an ivy league college campus FULL of traditionally gorgeous co-eds. As a staffer, I'm used to sort of being in the background of college life. I walked into Starbucks this morning, as I do every morning, and ordered from the new guy - very young (I'm 35..he was probably 20?) and quite handsome, although I admit I didn't really notice until he started talking to me. He took my order and then said, "You know, your necklace is beautiful." I thanked him and said it was my grandmother's. He said she must have had great taste. I gave him my credit card and he asked for my ID, as I have "ask for ID" written on the card. But then he just held on to my ID and kept staring it. I was starting to get uncomfortable when he looked up and said, "Sorry, I was doing the math. Are you really 35?" At first, I was like, who is this freakin' kid and why is he announcing my age to all of Starbucks? Does he think I look 45?? But then he was like, "I'm sorry. It's just, I saw your wedding ring and assumed you must have gotten married really young because I really thought you were a student." At this point, everyone behind the counter has stopped to stare at him with looks of utter terror on their faces because I think they thought I was going to flip out. I said, "Well thank you, but I am indeed 35 with a two year old kid and I haven't been a student in almost a decade. You made my day, though!" He told me he swore it wasn't a line ("I have a girlfriend!," he said.)...he really just thought I was the prettiest woman he'd served coffee to all morning and he wanted to let me know.
    The moral of this story is that he didn't see the poochy post-baby belly that I see, or the chubby fingers that I despise, or the uneven pigmentation on my arms and legs, or hastily pulled back hair because I desperately need a haircut, or the imperfect teeth that show when I smile. He saw beauty. We should all see in ourselves what others see in us.
    Anyway, sorry for the novel. I just had that happen this morning and instantly thought of this thread. Hope everyone is well.
  12. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from rosedeniz in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    Suzy, it's interesting that you should ask me if my family has apologized for how they dealt with my weight issues, because I just recently had a discussion with my aunt about this. My mother died when I was 19, at a time when I was at my heaviest, and the one issue we NEVER talked out was how she treated me regarding my weight. Even now, 15 years later, I hold a bit of anger towards her for that even while missing her terribly. My aunt is sort of my surrogate mother - unlike my natural mother, she has been a constant supporter of me, fat or not. Her love has never been conditional. My parents' treatment of me was not something they did publicly (except for that one WW meeting) so when I told my aunt a few stories from my childhood a few weeks ago, she listened and cried. She'd had no idea. No idea that my parents were capable of such cruelty while otherwise being great parents. And no idea that I had suffered quietly through that for most of my childhood. And then she was angry.
    So now we're both angry about it. Honestly, I don't think my dad and brother even have the ability to acknowledge for even a second that how they treated me was cruel and unnecessary. They don't even realize they have something to apologize for. They know I eat paleo. They know I'm on medication for IR (which could have been diagnosed when I was 16 if my parents had been responsible enough to have health insurance and take me to the specialist that my doctor recommended). And they can see that I've lost 36 lbs, as they have at least given me some compliments about that. But still, my dad continued his Christmas tradition this year of giving each of us a huge rough tote full of Costco-sized boxes of M&Ms, pretzels, and tortilla chips, despite knowing that I don't. eat. any. of that. I made some comment and his response was the same thing he's said my whole life, "You need to understand the definition of moderation." So yeah, they haven't come very far. But I have. And that's what allows me to just grit my teeth and walk away from the anger.
    Anyway, that was quite a rant, but very cathartic. Again, so glad this thread exists.
  13. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from mary-t in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    I've been reading and catching up on this thread and wanted to say THANK YOU to all of the people who had such kind supportive words to say, not just to me, but to others who shared parts of themselves in this thread. I am not very good at being open about things like this and you made it possible for me to share memories that I haven't shared with anyone other than a couple select family members.
    I was inspired to come over to this thread this morning after something very nice happened to me this morning. So here's a little story for you all that literally just happened an hour or so ago that reminded me that beauty is subjective but it's okay to acknowledge your own...
    I work on an ivy league college campus FULL of traditionally gorgeous co-eds. As a staffer, I'm used to sort of being in the background of college life. I walked into Starbucks this morning, as I do every morning, and ordered from the new guy - very young (I'm 35..he was probably 20?) and quite handsome, although I admit I didn't really notice until he started talking to me. He took my order and then said, "You know, your necklace is beautiful." I thanked him and said it was my grandmother's. He said she must have had great taste. I gave him my credit card and he asked for my ID, as I have "ask for ID" written on the card. But then he just held on to my ID and kept staring it. I was starting to get uncomfortable when he looked up and said, "Sorry, I was doing the math. Are you really 35?" At first, I was like, who is this freakin' kid and why is he announcing my age to all of Starbucks? Does he think I look 45?? But then he was like, "I'm sorry. It's just, I saw your wedding ring and assumed you must have gotten married really young because I really thought you were a student." At this point, everyone behind the counter has stopped to stare at him with looks of utter terror on their faces because I think they thought I was going to flip out. I said, "Well thank you, but I am indeed 35 with a two year old kid and I haven't been a student in almost a decade. You made my day, though!" He told me he swore it wasn't a line ("I have a girlfriend!," he said.)...he really just thought I was the prettiest woman he'd served coffee to all morning and he wanted to let me know.
    The moral of this story is that he didn't see the poochy post-baby belly that I see, or the chubby fingers that I despise, or the uneven pigmentation on my arms and legs, or hastily pulled back hair because I desperately need a haircut, or the imperfect teeth that show when I smile. He saw beauty. We should all see in ourselves what others see in us.
    Anyway, sorry for the novel. I just had that happen this morning and instantly thought of this thread. Hope everyone is well.
  14. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from praxisproject in PCOS Support Thread   
    You can find my log of what I'm eating, here: http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/979-lauras-whole30-log-started-7112/page__fromsearch__1 I've found it very helpful to have this public record of what I'm doing. It keeps me accountable and also allows for input and new ideas to help me make this program work for me. That section of the forum is for anyone to start their own log, so you could make one too!
    I am on Day 16 (started July 1) and feeling great. It definitely requires a lot of planning and cooking, but I've figured out great last minute strategies to make meals that work from limited resources, either at home or out and about. I almost always bring food with me whenever I'm going somewhere just to make sure I have something. I've also been known to tote around coconut milk to add to a Dunkin Donuts black coffee when I'm on the road. What I do is try to cook a bunch of certain things at the beginning of the week - some sort of breakfast hash to which I can add eggs each day, a bunch of chicken cutlets, a couple pots of coffee thrown into a big pitcher and stored in the fridge. I prep my breakfast and lunch for the next day while dinner is cooking - I'm usually prepping my son's food at that time anyway, so I just lay out a couple extra containers and away I go. Another suggestion I have is to find those little jars of curry paste that Thai Kitchen makes (usually in the Asian aisle at most grocery stores) and buy a few, along with a bunch of cans of coconut milk. If you have have a bunch of veggies and a piece of meat but are sick of however you've been eating them lately, you can make a very quick curry/coconut milk sauce and throw it over just about any sauteed veggie/meat combo and have a delicious meal in minutes! My favorite is with chicken or shrimp, plus peppers, onions, and spinach.
    Okay that was probably an info overload, but I hope it helps!
  15. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from praxisproject in PCOS Support Thread   
    Where in MA are you? I went to college in Western MA. I miss it.
    My doc was telling me that she's had people come from Pittsburg (which is hours and hours away from Philly), NYC, and CT, to see her. It's crazy how few doctors there are out there who know something about PCOS.
    I'll check out the Paleo for Women blog, too!
  16. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from praxisproject in PCOS Support Thread   
    Michele, have you ever been on the soulcysters forum? It's an internet forum just for PCOSers. I don't follow it too closely most of the time, but it's where I found the amazing doctor that I'm currently seeing. Members are really good about letting people know who the good physicians are in their area. I do know that the doctor I'm seeing has had patients come to her from very far away, but I'm positive there is someone in MA who can help you!
    Did Metformin make a difference for you? My doc said the only way for it to work is to stick with it through the initial side effects, which should go away after a few days. I have actually been okay since starting it, but I've heard other folks have a really hard time.
    Regardless, I think we are doing the right things to get healthy, so keep on truckin'!
  17. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from praxisproject in PCOS Support Thread   
    Are there any other women here who are experimenting with Whole30 and paleo eating to combat PCOS?
    I was first diagnosed with PCOS at age 16 and have battled it for the last 18 years. I have gained and lost the same 60+ lbs over and over again. I managed to get pregnant with my now-15-month-old son with some minor fertility assistance, but I was overweight at the time, suffered from GD and preeclampsia during the pregnancy, and am now at my highest weight EVER. I've finally decided to take control of this condition and really fight it tooth and nail.
    Last week, I had my first appointment with an amazing PCOS specialist who was (surprisingly) the FIRST physician to diagnose me with insulin resistance (something I've known for years) and prescribed me medication to combat it. I know the Whole30 might frown upon using meds to help the process along, but my hope is that I can eventually stop taking the medication once I've lost enough weight and gotten my lifestyle in check.
    My long-ish term goal is to have lost about 75 lbs by this time next year and to be able to start trying to get pregnant with #2 without ANY fertility help. My immediate and ongoing goals are to change my life and stop feeling trapped in a body that I don't think represents the real me.
    So that's my PCOS battle in a nutshell. Anybody else?
  18. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from [email protected] in Do you find yourself judging?   
    I only find myself judging others when they try to argue with me about my eating habits. Just this last weekend, a relative made me promise that I'd told my doctor I was eating this way and that she'd okay'd it because "it definitely was not the healthiest thing to do." A) My physician was actually ecstatic to hear I was already eating this way because I have PCOS and was diagnosed recently as insulin resistant. This is EXACTLY the way to go when it comes to my issues, although this relative rolled her eyes when I said that. And B ) This was coming from a woman who is more than 100 lbs overweight, has been diagnosed as pre-diabetic and was told to eat a diabetic diet (ie low-carb) but figures that just cutting out pasta should do the trick. She can barely walk due to ankle problems that are likely related to inflammation/poor circulation AND she just quit smoking after 30+ years because her sister died of lung cancer in June. And yet, she is dictating to me what is healthy?!?!
    My husband is also questioning the changes I'm making and gets very angry when I dismiss his opinions as nothing more than his own personal insecurities about the idea that bagels and pasta might not be things he should eat. I've had to come to the conclusion that I don't need to feel bad about this. In the beginning, I was doing what some other commenters to this thread have said they do - I hid the fact that I was eating this way. But darnit, I've had to overcome a lot of issues with food, body image, and self-confidence to get to this point in my life and I'll be damned if I'm going to just create a whole NEW shame. I try not to judge, but the only people who should be ashamed are the ones who continue to put their lives in danger by eating poorly.
    Oh, and I also feel a secret pride when I compare my grocery cart to others. I just can't help it.
  19. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from Physibeth in You know someone is doing a Whole30 when...   
    ...she makes a late night grocery store run "just for a few essentials" but comes home with two racks of organic pork ribs that were on sale and then stays up until midnight cleaning and marinating them.
  20. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from Physibeth in You know someone is doing a Whole30 when...   
    ...she makes a late night grocery store run "just for a few essentials" but comes home with two racks of organic pork ribs that were on sale and then stays up until midnight cleaning and marinating them.
  21. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from [email protected] in Do you find yourself judging?   
    I only find myself judging others when they try to argue with me about my eating habits. Just this last weekend, a relative made me promise that I'd told my doctor I was eating this way and that she'd okay'd it because "it definitely was not the healthiest thing to do." A) My physician was actually ecstatic to hear I was already eating this way because I have PCOS and was diagnosed recently as insulin resistant. This is EXACTLY the way to go when it comes to my issues, although this relative rolled her eyes when I said that. And B ) This was coming from a woman who is more than 100 lbs overweight, has been diagnosed as pre-diabetic and was told to eat a diabetic diet (ie low-carb) but figures that just cutting out pasta should do the trick. She can barely walk due to ankle problems that are likely related to inflammation/poor circulation AND she just quit smoking after 30+ years because her sister died of lung cancer in June. And yet, she is dictating to me what is healthy?!?!
    My husband is also questioning the changes I'm making and gets very angry when I dismiss his opinions as nothing more than his own personal insecurities about the idea that bagels and pasta might not be things he should eat. I've had to come to the conclusion that I don't need to feel bad about this. In the beginning, I was doing what some other commenters to this thread have said they do - I hid the fact that I was eating this way. But darnit, I've had to overcome a lot of issues with food, body image, and self-confidence to get to this point in my life and I'll be damned if I'm going to just create a whole NEW shame. I try not to judge, but the only people who should be ashamed are the ones who continue to put their lives in danger by eating poorly.
    Oh, and I also feel a secret pride when I compare my grocery cart to others. I just can't help it.
  22. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from Physibeth in You know someone is doing a Whole30 when...   
    ...she makes a late night grocery store run "just for a few essentials" but comes home with two racks of organic pork ribs that were on sale and then stays up until midnight cleaning and marinating them.
  23. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from rosedeniz in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    Suzy, it's interesting that you should ask me if my family has apologized for how they dealt with my weight issues, because I just recently had a discussion with my aunt about this. My mother died when I was 19, at a time when I was at my heaviest, and the one issue we NEVER talked out was how she treated me regarding my weight. Even now, 15 years later, I hold a bit of anger towards her for that even while missing her terribly. My aunt is sort of my surrogate mother - unlike my natural mother, she has been a constant supporter of me, fat or not. Her love has never been conditional. My parents' treatment of me was not something they did publicly (except for that one WW meeting) so when I told my aunt a few stories from my childhood a few weeks ago, she listened and cried. She'd had no idea. No idea that my parents were capable of such cruelty while otherwise being great parents. And no idea that I had suffered quietly through that for most of my childhood. And then she was angry.
    So now we're both angry about it. Honestly, I don't think my dad and brother even have the ability to acknowledge for even a second that how they treated me was cruel and unnecessary. They don't even realize they have something to apologize for. They know I eat paleo. They know I'm on medication for IR (which could have been diagnosed when I was 16 if my parents had been responsible enough to have health insurance and take me to the specialist that my doctor recommended). And they can see that I've lost 36 lbs, as they have at least given me some compliments about that. But still, my dad continued his Christmas tradition this year of giving each of us a huge rough tote full of Costco-sized boxes of M&Ms, pretzels, and tortilla chips, despite knowing that I don't. eat. any. of that. I made some comment and his response was the same thing he's said my whole life, "You need to understand the definition of moderation." So yeah, they haven't come very far. But I have. And that's what allows me to just grit my teeth and walk away from the anger.
    Anyway, that was quite a rant, but very cathartic. Again, so glad this thread exists.
  24. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from mary-t in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    I've been reading and catching up on this thread and wanted to say THANK YOU to all of the people who had such kind supportive words to say, not just to me, but to others who shared parts of themselves in this thread. I am not very good at being open about things like this and you made it possible for me to share memories that I haven't shared with anyone other than a couple select family members.
    I was inspired to come over to this thread this morning after something very nice happened to me this morning. So here's a little story for you all that literally just happened an hour or so ago that reminded me that beauty is subjective but it's okay to acknowledge your own...
    I work on an ivy league college campus FULL of traditionally gorgeous co-eds. As a staffer, I'm used to sort of being in the background of college life. I walked into Starbucks this morning, as I do every morning, and ordered from the new guy - very young (I'm 35..he was probably 20?) and quite handsome, although I admit I didn't really notice until he started talking to me. He took my order and then said, "You know, your necklace is beautiful." I thanked him and said it was my grandmother's. He said she must have had great taste. I gave him my credit card and he asked for my ID, as I have "ask for ID" written on the card. But then he just held on to my ID and kept staring it. I was starting to get uncomfortable when he looked up and said, "Sorry, I was doing the math. Are you really 35?" At first, I was like, who is this freakin' kid and why is he announcing my age to all of Starbucks? Does he think I look 45?? But then he was like, "I'm sorry. It's just, I saw your wedding ring and assumed you must have gotten married really young because I really thought you were a student." At this point, everyone behind the counter has stopped to stare at him with looks of utter terror on their faces because I think they thought I was going to flip out. I said, "Well thank you, but I am indeed 35 with a two year old kid and I haven't been a student in almost a decade. You made my day, though!" He told me he swore it wasn't a line ("I have a girlfriend!," he said.)...he really just thought I was the prettiest woman he'd served coffee to all morning and he wanted to let me know.
    The moral of this story is that he didn't see the poochy post-baby belly that I see, or the chubby fingers that I despise, or the uneven pigmentation on my arms and legs, or hastily pulled back hair because I desperately need a haircut, or the imperfect teeth that show when I smile. He saw beauty. We should all see in ourselves what others see in us.
    Anyway, sorry for the novel. I just had that happen this morning and instantly thought of this thread. Hope everyone is well.
  25. Like
    lauraska got a reaction from mary-t in If You Ever Thought of Giving Up Trying to Lose Weight   
    I've been reading and catching up on this thread and wanted to say THANK YOU to all of the people who had such kind supportive words to say, not just to me, but to others who shared parts of themselves in this thread. I am not very good at being open about things like this and you made it possible for me to share memories that I haven't shared with anyone other than a couple select family members.
    I was inspired to come over to this thread this morning after something very nice happened to me this morning. So here's a little story for you all that literally just happened an hour or so ago that reminded me that beauty is subjective but it's okay to acknowledge your own...
    I work on an ivy league college campus FULL of traditionally gorgeous co-eds. As a staffer, I'm used to sort of being in the background of college life. I walked into Starbucks this morning, as I do every morning, and ordered from the new guy - very young (I'm 35..he was probably 20?) and quite handsome, although I admit I didn't really notice until he started talking to me. He took my order and then said, "You know, your necklace is beautiful." I thanked him and said it was my grandmother's. He said she must have had great taste. I gave him my credit card and he asked for my ID, as I have "ask for ID" written on the card. But then he just held on to my ID and kept staring it. I was starting to get uncomfortable when he looked up and said, "Sorry, I was doing the math. Are you really 35?" At first, I was like, who is this freakin' kid and why is he announcing my age to all of Starbucks? Does he think I look 45?? But then he was like, "I'm sorry. It's just, I saw your wedding ring and assumed you must have gotten married really young because I really thought you were a student." At this point, everyone behind the counter has stopped to stare at him with looks of utter terror on their faces because I think they thought I was going to flip out. I said, "Well thank you, but I am indeed 35 with a two year old kid and I haven't been a student in almost a decade. You made my day, though!" He told me he swore it wasn't a line ("I have a girlfriend!," he said.)...he really just thought I was the prettiest woman he'd served coffee to all morning and he wanted to let me know.
    The moral of this story is that he didn't see the poochy post-baby belly that I see, or the chubby fingers that I despise, or the uneven pigmentation on my arms and legs, or hastily pulled back hair because I desperately need a haircut, or the imperfect teeth that show when I smile. He saw beauty. We should all see in ourselves what others see in us.
    Anyway, sorry for the novel. I just had that happen this morning and instantly thought of this thread. Hope everyone is well.