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  1. Like
    littleg got a reaction from Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @Dragonslayer I can't say it better than @hmg1993.  
    Happy Thanksgiving everyone  Not sure what today will bring food wise for me... I've been holding out all week for today - I've been feeling kind of urgey all week but kept telling myself "if you still feel this way Thursday then go for it, but not until then".  So that means each night I went to bed wanting all the food and woke up wanting eggs, spinach, peppers, onions and salmon   I may do this wild and crazy thing and eat too much (but not binge), like everyone else and just see what happens.  I also slept like crap last night and don't want to again tonight so maybe I'll just eat foods I know make me feel good.  I may cook up a few side dishes to bring to our destination tonight because I'm pretty sure there won't be a menu like hmg's there    I did make myself my pumpkin not-pie and even got some organic heavy whipping cream to put into my whipped cream maker so I'll definitely have some of that!
  2. Like
    littleg got a reaction from Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @hmg1993 If I didn't have to work Turkey Day I think I'd invite myself over!  To have a completely W30 menu... I can't even imagine how nice that would be!  
    @Dragonslayer You've got so much on your plate right now... I hope you get as positive of a prognosis as one can in your mom's situation today.  
  3. Like
    littleg got a reaction from hmg1993 in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @Dragonslayer What about a "treat" like coffee with coconut cream in a thermos?  I do AroyD coconut cream, coffee and TJ's pumpkin pie spice and I must say its pretty good  
  4. Like
    littleg reacted to hmg1993 in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    Happy Friday!  I hope everyone had a good day.  Made it a week.  At last!  Long day and just crawled home and ready to fall face forward.  Food today --- Omelet with tomatoes, spinach and avocado, big salad with chicken, sweet potato, brussels sprouts and avocado and then left over pork, squash and other vegetables with big dollop of homemade mayo and an apple.  Tomorrow I have to plan my Thanksgiving meal,  The objective will be to keep it as easy as possible!
  5. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    CONGRATS @hmg1993!!! So awesome! Keep it rolling! I made it through today, but it wasn't easy. The store was good. I wanted to buy fruit and other things that seemed compliant but satisfying, and then I told myself the only reason I want the fruit is because I am craving sugar. Not because it's what I truly want. So I didn't buy anything remotely sweet or that could be snacked on. BUT, I did come home and start to munch too much. Ate lots of coconut with cacao bar, leftover sweet potato with butter, salt, and cinnamon, and then pesto zoodles and way too many country style ribs for dinner. I have a headache and feel overloaded, but overeating here and there is way better than caving and eating the chocolate bar that I was eyeing in my fiances "section" of the pantry (I put his sweet and snacky stuff in a top shelf not so visible for me)... and then probably not stopping there. I'll take today as a win. Another day of working on mindfulness, getting in tune with my thoughts, behaviors, and triggers, and how I can learn to change my responses. And even the fact that I am slowly learning how to stop after I have had too much is good for me. Usually it would be "ugh I am so full, but I still want sweets, so might as well bc ive already failed and ate too much." Now I think way more differently and have conscious debates in my head and try to pick the smart answer as much as possible. I think the "good side" of my brain that wants to NOT binge is becoming a little more present each day. 
    Anyways, food today: small piece of frittata, leftover rosemary sweet potatoes, sauteed veggies, half an avocado; leftover sheet pan chicken and veggies, a salad with some of the other leftovers of chicken thigh, veggies, and avocado, and then the stuff listed above. Lots of food, but it could be WAY worse. Ok, I'm going to bed now. Gotta be at work at 5:30 tomorrow. blahhhhh. 
  6. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    Yeah actually I’ve been using the small plate for breakfast recently and have noticed I️ don’t go back for seconds (because I️ only make enough for the one plate) but like an hour after I️ eat I️m starting to graze for more. Down with the small plate! Haha. Not really, but mentally for me, it’s not working yet. 
    I️m back to work today full time! Yay! Except they put me on for 7 straight days before I️ get a day off! Oh well, the time off has been nice but I️m so over it so it’s all good. Got my frittata for breakfast, sheet pan lunch packed in like 45 seconds, and another 2nd lunch of leftover salmon, spaghetti squash, and asparagus. Hope everyone has a great day! Today is one week for me! 
  7. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @hmg1993 sounds like you are in a good place mentally! Stress can be so overwhelming and I think for all of us it’s a huge reason we need to all find new ways of coping with it so it doesn’t affect our progress and we learn to not turn to food to deal with it. I know that’s probably one of my biggest things lm learning I need to work on. That and same with the anxiety for me. But it’s just one step at a time, one day at a time. Trying new strategies, staying focused on the goal, and continueing to work to develop new habits. And the fact that the binges are less extreme AND you still aren’t counting is a HUGE step in the right direction, so don’t sell yourself short. You are doing awesome! Just get back on track today and stay positive! You got this! 
    I am finally out of my funk. Got some good sleep, feel refreshed, and am in a new place mentally that I hope takes me to new places. Starting work full time this weekend which I think will be really good. The change of routine always helps me and I will start the season off developing a good eating pattern at work, and practicing meditation and breathing each morning before I leave. I’ve also never really been religious, but I am trying the whole praying thing now because I think it will help me get through this time with my mom. 
    On the agenda today: workout, grocery shopping, meal prepping, organizing ski stuff for work, reading/journaling. 
    Will be making an egg casserole with sausage, spinach, artichokes, and mushrooms, Roasted veggies for lunches, baked spaghetti squash for today, and some kind of crockpot meal With whatever is on sale at the store when I go. 
    Have a great day everyone. We have all had some bumps in the road this week, but we are all strong and just need to get right back to that good streak again. 
    Inspirational quote of the day:
    ”Everytime you eat, you are either feeding disease or fighting it.” 
  8. Like
    littleg got a reaction from Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @Dragonslayer I'm sorry to hear about your mom.  Cancer is so tough on everyone.  It is especially hard when your mom is across the country.  I went through it too with my mom.  Sometimes having a W30 to focus on can be a good distraction from something like this because it keeps you busy without a lot of idle brain time - lots of cooking and doing dishes...  There are support groups out there for cancer care givers that can sometimes be helpful if you find yourself needing to talk to people in a similar situation.  
  9. Like
    littleg reacted to 5280sarah in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    I completely know what you mean about supplements and I go back and forth with wanting to take them and then not. The other way to look at it is just focus on heading your gut naturally and with diverse Whole Foods and avoiding foods that cause inflammation for you. I know that’s over simplifying things but really thinking about foods that harm and foods that heal. I think there is so much value in the optimization of the microbiome which will in turn ensure that you have the amino acids naturally that you need to aid mood and appetite. 
    Stull struggling with integrating these things into my life too.
  10. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @5280sarah all of your insight and advice is very helpful. I’ve done the supplements in the past and they helped for a while but then stopped working. So I decided I don’t want to get caught up in taking too many pills (I already have quite a few) and not trying to work through this as naturally as I can. But I totally agree about the amino acid thing. I’ve read the same research and it makes a lot of sense. And I do think trying to be so strict is like you say I’m not helping my mindset, but I’m just so stubborn in wanting to get through a clean 30 days before I start working on shifting my mindset for other foods. If just think if I can get through this first reset and really work on engraining new habits, then I can start to think about it differently once I’ve gained some confidence, cleansed my body and mind, and gained a little more tiger blood after 30 days. 
    I also agree about the foods that have negative effects though. I have pretty much gotten to the point where even when I binge, I avoid gluten and dairy because the aftermath is SO much worse on my body and mind with those foods. Mentally I get so much more depressed and foggy brained, and physically it’s worse with digestion, pain, aches, length of time to recover, etc. Now I just need to start thinking that same way with the sugar. 
    Thanks for your support. Every little bit helps and your comments are just another boost to keep me going today and continue getting back on track. 
  11. Like
    littleg reacted to 5280sarah in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    I want to give all of you a hug. I know exactly where you are all coming from as I was binge eating terribly for several months straight and felt like I could not break the cycle. It felt even more bad to me as I did this following a really great run of eating whole30 where I really did have tiger blood. 
    I really do feel like the supplement 5-htp has helped me a little bit. If you read Julia Ross' "The Mood Cure" it talks about amino acid supplementation to combat mood issues and sugar cravings. She also wrote a book named "the diet cure" which I haven't read but I believe is along the same lines but more targeted toward people who have deficiencies due to dieting and disordered eating. I had already read her other book when I came across this one and felt like I had enough of a handle on the issue to skip this one. This article touches upon it too. The premise is that there are actually chemical reasons why this is happening and natural supplementation can help. I have been doing this and it really has helped. It wasn't overnight but I have barely binged over the course of about 4 weeks. Sometimes if I feel the urge to binge I will just take one of the 5htp tablets and just wait 10 minutes or so and it helps. I also take tyrosine which helps with dopamine production. The article I linked states:
    "In her book, The Diet Cure, Julia Ross refers to a study where bulimics were deprived of tryptophan. In reaction, their serotonin levels dropped and they binged more violently, ingesting and purging an average of 900 calories more each day. In another study, adding extra tryptophan to the diet reduced bulimic binges and mood problems by raising serotonin levels. More recently, an Oxford researcher, Katherine Smith, reported that even years into recovery, bulimics can have a return of their cravings and mood problem after only a few hours of tryptophan depletion, concluding that, “Our findings support suggestions that chronic depletion of plasma tryptophan may be one of the mechanisms whereby persistent dieting can lead to the development of eating disorders in vulnerable individuals.”"
    I also think that there is a lot of truth in that the things we crave and have binged on in the past cause a lot of negative symptoms for us when we eat them. I noticed a lot of inflammation, migraines, gut issues when I was bingeing and I think my body really has an issue with the constant bombardment of gluten, dairy and sugar. When I began to see it more as a medical issue rather than a preference issue it became a lot easier to make good choices as I now think "why would i want to make myself sick?".  The other thing though that has changed for me is that I've become very transactional about the off plan foods that I eat. I finally understand what Melissa was talking about in Food Freedom Forever where you make an on the spot assessment about something and decide whether it's worth it in the moment. Often I decide yes and eat the food and in small quantities it appears not to make me sick (caveat - when I am taking care of my body and eating nutrient dense food most of the time) but in that moment I enjoy the food and then just move on with no or little judgement. It feels a lot different to me than the constant feeling that I've messed up and I'm a loser for not being able to stick to a whole30 diet. I recognize that it's not something that I can do 365 days a year but it is something that I want to adhere to most of the time as my life is better when I am not anxious, depressed, headachey, bloated and grumpy. This is what has been working for me and it may not work for anyone else. I am also coming from a place where I think I had an unhealthy approach to food when I ate strictly whole30 for several months running. It gave me extreme food anxiety and i don't want to feel that anymore. Actually what I eat now compared to then hasn't really changed but my attitude has changed and I no longer have this extreme urge to be perfect all of the time which made me extremely anxious when I fell short of this. 
    I hope that you don't feel like I am being smug in posting this. I am extremely familiar with the feelings post binge, the anxiety, the shame and the physical feelings of just feeling unwell. I think we can do a lot to combat our demons by bringing them out into the open and I for one feel a lot better for doing so (which is why I started this thread in the first place). I am just trying to reflect on what's been working for me and support the theory that we may all be slightly chemically deficient which is why we do this rather than because we are weak willed and greedy (which was how I felt about myself after a binge). 
    Massive hugs to you all.
    "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it" Anne of Green Gables
  12. Like
    littleg reacted to hmg1993 in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @Dragonslayer and @littleg and everyone else along for this journey. We can do this. I know it. And each of our journeys will be a little different and that’s ok. I know in my heart that I am not ready to be the person that can eat off plan once and a while and then snap back. I know I have more work to do making new and healthier habits that don’t require me to eat my stress or feelings. And the only way I can do that right now is to eliminate the foods that send me spiraling. I’m better with rules. Hence the W30.  I also know that doing W100s or the like - for me - is avoiding the issue and I need to get to a place, hopefully after 30 days, maybe after 40, where I can define my own set of rules. During this W30 I am also not only going to tackle the food but also I am going to talk to someone about why I have these impulses. And I am going to commit to staying present on this board because I find it really helpful. Thank you!!
  13. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    Oh and I meant to look at the positive of all this and CONGRATULATE both of you on going so many days! 11 is semi good for me (as opposed to my usual 4-7) but you guys went over halfway! That’s a huge accomplishment. Now our goal should be to go longer than we did this time. (And I’ll just pretend I made it 20 days so I can go that long too haha) 
  14. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @littleg write about the chocolate all you want! It’s all personal choices and what you think will work best for you. And maybe it’s a good experiment to compare, someone doing strict and then trying reintroduction vs. your method. The book does mention people with eating disorders a few times actually. And specifically bingeing maybe once or twice. When I keep reading I’ll post some quotes. But she does address the fact that the reset and the plan you choose will be different if you have a problem like we do. She has different types of resets she reccomends but says basically do what you know is best for you. Her “cravings/sugar dragon buster” reset says basically go strict Whole30 with the addition of eliminating dried fruit and nuts (because those are the foods you will most likely turn to to binge.) and she says your brain doesn’t know the difference between eating a bag of salty chips vs eating a container of salty nuts. It just knows “I’m getting my salty overload fix.” I thought that was interesting. We may feel like eating certain things is “better” in large quantities, but it’s not helping out our brain in terms of the habit at all actually. 
    I didn’t reach out because it was so impulsive that I didn’t even let myself think. Different from the other day when I was more focused. The funny thing is, I had just tried a 15 minute meditation like a half our before it started. Not sure how that makes sense. 
    Came home, ate all the things, saw your post, and thought holy crap that’s crazy. I knew @hmg1993 was struggling from the morning post, but I’m pretty sure that didn’t effect my experience because I felt good most of the day. I’m not sure though, maybe it was a little subconscious. When I bought the fruit, I did think “well she does fine with it so maybe I can too” but that also wasn’t my total reasoning for buying it and it was kind of an after thought. 
    Anyways, MFing DAY 1 AGAIN. Maybe in the future we can all become “Whole30 week 1 coaches” because we will have done it so much we will be experts haha! 
    But yes @hmg1993I’m with you day 1 strict plan. Just as I had laid out before. 
  15. Like
    littleg reacted to 5280sarah in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    Oh boy ladies. This weekend was a tough one for me too. What happened?! @Dragonslayer  and @littleg nice work in navigating your group meals and your grocery shopping trip. Those things are all tough and particularly the meals that other people cook. You want to be grateful and enjoy time with friends and it's a constant balance between figuring out what you want to eat and what experiences you want to have during those group meals. I am definitely still struggling with that. I truly think that each time you have a good experience it gives you confidence for the next time.
    @hmg1993 I hope your cat is ok. Our fur creatures are so special and have such a special place in our hearts. You had a huge win with your meal out and just enjoying it. I've been trying to be comfortable in those situations where I can't control the food too and enjoying them instead of stressing out. When I was in the middle of my first few months of whole30 there was a situation where someone handed me a cupcake and i FREAKED out. I remember holding it in my hand and thinking "where can I put this so that no-one will see that I am not eating it" It was awful and I was so anxious about it. I don't want to feel like that around food again so I try to just enjoy those situations but also feel empowered to make good decisions. 
    I actually had a good meal out too on Saturday and I managed to order things that I felt comfortable with. Yesterday was a strange day as I wasn't feeling good and then had dinner guests in the evening so it was super busy and I didn't really have an appetite. Today my husband left town on business for two weeks which is normally prime binge territory for me. We ended up having a friend and her kids over for dinner (which I cooked). When they left I did find myself raiding the halloween candy bucket and was eating a few pieces mindlessly. I probably ate 7 pieces and then in that moment I decided that I didn't want to go down that route and I would post here instead. I don't think I can name a time that I've been able to pull myself back like that and I'm grateful to you all that there is a place to come and talk about those feelings and have people that understand. 
  16. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    Good morning! @littleg the coconut butter is a tough one. I actually decided I’m not keeping it in my house, only coconut chips, because I started to eat more and more every time And couldn’t stop. It’s so good! But sounds like you stayed fairly in control and mindful so nothing to be upset about! Nice work! My mom makes all her own spice blends and she never adds oil or other weird stuff, but does add sugar sometimes. I feel like some of the other ingredients in that list are just to keep it fresh for longer or as an “anti caking” agent. So maybe try to use the most similar ingredients you have and see what happens! It would be cool if they had coconut amino powder! 
    I realized I posted like 5 essays yesterday haha. Sorry! Woke up this morning and feel surprisingly ok. Total different feeling than after a real binge. No brain fog, no aches or pains, slight sickness but not so bad, and most importantly, my mood is still high and I don’t feel depressed about yesterday. Although I definitely had evil dragon thoughts last night, I am SO HAPPY I stuck to foods on my plan and it is so much more worth it today. My weird dilemma now is that literally the last thing I want today is meat or potatoes in any form, but it’s such a staple in my plan! Maybe I’ll do eggs and some salads and maybe just more fat today because the thought of more protein or starch just sounds awful right now. It’s snowing like crazy here (finally! We need it so bad!) so after my ski conditioning workout I’m planning a cozy day at home full of wedding planning, reading, and then tonight we have another dinner with friends but I’m cooking so it’s gonna be all good foods! 
  17. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @hmg1993 sounds like you crushed it tonight! Congrats! And there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about any of that. Especially at a fancy restaurant. I’m sure the food was high quality and delicious! You should really be proud and look at this as a huge step in the right direction. Keep the confidence rolling! 
    @littleg and @hmg1993 The breathing totally saved me. Seriously. I just followed 5 minutes of the meditation for breathing practice in the car and then gave myself a reassuring pep talk before I got out. It totally felt like “riding the wave” like some of the books say. I felt the anxiety building, then peak, and then as I let myself breath and just experience the feelings, accept them as not bad but “just there” and not try to fight them, I slowly eased my mind and then felt like the wave just crashed and disappeared. It was awesome. I think the key is not fighting the cravings, the fear, the anxiety, all the feelings that cause us to binge. If we just accept the fact they are going to happen, but we just let them be there and say “ok, I feel like this right now but I don’t have to react to it. I just need to let it ride the wave and distract myself with other thoughts.” Fighting the feelings is too exhausting and causes them to be worse I think. 
    I like something I read recently (can’t remember where) but it said when you have feelings/thoughts you are uncomfortable with, imagine you are next to a river. Put each thought on a leaf and put it down the river. Let it slowly drift away from your mind. Do that for as many leaves as you need. Then grab your “fishing rod” and reel in the feelings you want to replace them with. Slowly you will feel relieved because you will start filling your mind with the positive thoughts you are fishing for and forget about the negative ones. I dunno, kind of an “out there” abstract thing, but I tried it and it really works if you focus on trying to visualize the whole scene. 
    Anyways, my day ended great with grilled pork chops and portabello mushroom strips, lemon tarragon green beans, and a creamy avocado sauce (with mayo, coconut cream, cilantro, lime, and salt) to top on the chops. Working again tomorrow and my man is back to hunting so I’ll be alone a lot for Mon-wed but it honestly sounds relaxing and I have lots planned before I get back into work full time at the end of next week. 
    Sorry for the epically Long post. If you are still reading, thanks. Oh and I bought 3 types of kale and felt like a kid in a candy store when I saw organic italian sausage on sale for $1.67 per package! I bought 3 of those too. 
  18. Like
    littleg reacted to hmg1993 in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @Dragonslayer  I am totally going to try your leaf/river visualization.  You're right too about letting the feelings manifest.  I tend to try to suppress and then eat them (aka binge them away).  
  19. Like
    littleg reacted to hmg1993 in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    I would bring something you can eat and explain to her that you have a lot of things you can't eat right now so you brought something that you and everyone else can enjoy if they like.  Maybe bring a big frittata and a salad.  Or a potato salad with egg and mayo and then just one protein serving for you like one of your Italian sausages grilled up?  I would also call her ahead and tell her the scoop ......
    Let me know if you need any recipes.   Your pork chops last night sound divine.
  20. Like
    littleg reacted to hmg1993 in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    So ready for tomorrow's extra hour's sleep! Today's food was:
    Leftover veggies from last night's sheet pan dinner with two poached eggs
    Large salad with chicken, arugula, avocado, sweet potato, carrots, tomato and cucumber
    Then onto the fancy dinner.  Normally this would stress me out and I would be obsessing about calories and bad versus good foods.  It was a chef's tasting so I decided instead to go with the flow knowing that tomorrow I would be back to my way of eating.  Rather than feeling guilty about each course I decided to enjoy and taste them.  Right down to the raspberry souffle.  But, unlike previous times , my brain did not respond to the rally cry f "you've ruined everything, why not stop at CVS for chocolate or ice cream", I enjoyed every bite and am now home with my peppermint tea.  I don't feel at all guilty.  These dinners are once in a blue moon.  It's OK. Or at least that's how I see it.  Oh, and I forgot, I did have a glass of wine!
  21. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    Gah getting some anxiety after a stressful afternoon. I am going to do my weekly grocery shopping and the last time I went was when I had the impulsive binge so I think I’m just nervous because of the memory of it. But I’m just taking some deep breaths, reminding myself I just ate and I’m not hungry for anything else, and I need to find another outlet for my stress and anxiety right now. I think on my drive I may listen to a meditation from “headspace” since I got a free 30 day trial from amazon. Have you guys ever tried it? I’m trying to use some of their techniques to be more aware of my breath and where I’m feeling the stress in my body and how to relieve it. Not sure if meditating while driving is safe or possible, but I’m going for it! It’s actually a pretty awesome meditation website from what I have tried so far (only a few times). But I don’t really want to pay for it monthly so I’m trying to just write down a lot of the strategies they talk about so I can continue trying it on my own. At the moment, the breathing patterns are really helping. (Like you said @hmg1993 they have very similar ones) 
    I don’t think I ever mentioned but ever since my bingeing got out of control, I developed chronic anxiety. And not just with food. It spread to social situations, work, daily life, everything. It’s way better in the past year since I’ve been actively working on it, but i think it’s a huge reason why I get the cravings sometimes. So I’m just breathing. And focusing.... And buying Kale. And not even looking at the snack isle. 
  22. Like
    littleg reacted to hmg1993 in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    Breathe! You’ve got this! History does not predict the present or future. You are clearly fabulous. Shop, find something that you want for dinner, and then go home and relax!  I truly believe the binging and anxiety are partners in crime. I get super anxious too. I find Holy Basil helps
  23. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    Good morning friends! Just getting in a quick post before my crazy day. I’m teaching today so my mind should be totally occupied with thoughts other than food which I’m actually really excited about. I’ve had a lot of time off to work on my self but now it will be nice to be distracted for a bit. I’m bummed because I too was going to make the sheet pan bake with the fennel @hmg1993 and they don’t have any at the store! Oh well, I’m gonna try just some different veggies with it tonight. 
    My new breakfast jam is a Cobb salad, I’ll be doing it again this morning. Hard boiled eggs, bacon, avocado, tomatoes, and a bed of greens with balsamic dressing. Oh and I’ve been sprinkling TJ everything but the bagel seasoning on it too. That stuff is like crack. It’s my new Dijon mustard (when in doubt, put it on everything ). I’ve got a good lunch planned and I’ve been so surprised at how little I have craved the foods at work but I don’t even feel nervous about today either. I was considering just eating the inside of the breakfast burritos they will have today, but then I decided it’s just better to not even get near it. Sticking to my own foods and what I know makes me feel good. 
    Anyways, just getting my head in the right place this morning and hope you all have a relaxing weekend! 
  24. Like
    littleg reacted to 5280sarah in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    I tried the chicken and fennel tray bake that one of you posted here the other day and it was AMAZING. I've been trying to follow the advice to eat more fat and that calories won't make me fat. Easier said than done and I still find myself panicking if I total up the calories and it adds up to more than I would have allocated. But seriously my number is so arbitrary and I can totally attribute binge eating with when I eat lower calories so it definitely pays to eat more fat and generally eat more. In fact, when I started really bingeing again it was because I decided to count macros and eat all things in moderation. BIG MISTAKE. The person I used to calculate my macros did them so low that I was constantly hungry and the fat macros were so measly that I would use them up at breakfast. Looking back I have no idea what I was thinking but I panicked after I was putting on weight and was just desperate to lose it. I just don't think I am someone who can eat those things in moderation and even if I can I feel like crap for eating half of that stuff. Clearly cutting calories did not work for me and in fact took me down the wrong path as I would binge after several days of being on extremely low calories. I want to read the Taubes book that was recommended but I wasn't able to easily find it at the library so I watched a youtube video of him outlining his approach and it makes good sense. @hmg1993 I too have a meal out with friends tomorrow night (people that we don't yet know very well) and then a meal out with my cousin and her family Sunday night and I am already mentally preparing myself for that. It's silly really as it should be a fun experience. I get panicked around alcohol as I feel like I want to drink to be social but I don't really tolerate alcohol very well and it makes me really depressed and anxious. I like the buzz of drinking but it's not worth it for me. It's one of those things where I feel people really pressure me into drinking and I am not very good at standing my ground. I'm becoming better at making my one drink last all night or sometimes I tell people I am on a medication which makes me very intolerant to alcohol just to get them off my case! Thanks for the support ladies!
  25. Like
    littleg reacted to Dragonslayer in Binge eating and re-starting Whole30   
    @5280sarah and @hmg1993 I feel the same about the restaurant and drinking issue. I always get nervous and try to look up the menu before I go so I can pre determine my choice and not have any panicked moment where I give in to something while I’m there. But just remember, even at the worst possible restaurant, you can always get something... side salad, a burger without bun, a plain baked potato, chicken breast and some sides etc. If I’m somewhere that really has basically nothing that suits me, I’ll just order something small and plan on eating more when I get home. And the drink thing I’ve gotten more used to over time but it’s really worked for me lately to just say “I’m doing this whole100 thing where I’m eating healthy and not drinking for a while, and everyone loses track of time over the days so when they ask again later I just say, “oh I’m still on my 100 day challenge thing.” But actually today at work, when multiple people asked “so what day are you on now?” I said “oh I dunno, after a while I felt so great and loved it so much that I decided I’m going to make this way of eating my lifestyle.” It felt so good to be kind of honest and just state my true feeling and not care if they judged me or not. It was very liberating and gave me actually more confidence throughout the day. And the responses I got from people were actually very surprising. “Oh that’s cool.” Or “ man you are so strong I could never avoid junk food all the time like that.” Being honest and proud of my choices is actually starting to feel good to share the more and more I do it. You should try it. It really works!