Brewer5

Members
  • Content Count

    2475
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    47

Reputation Activity

  1. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in A Very Hungry Mommy and Baby W30 R2.2   
    @BabyBear ~ so sorry to hear about your husband.  I hope you are taking the best care you can in this difficult time.  All good thoughts & prayers headed your way!
  2. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Jennifer Jensen in Like an Onion   
    Day 1:  9/25/20
    --
     
  3. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Jennifer Jensen in Like an Onion   
    I decided to change my avatar tonight, in honor of Toby.  He's the toad who has spent so much time with me this summer.
    One morning, I came outside to find Toby sitting backwards in the cab of the dump truck.
    "Do you ever just feel all turned around?" was my immediate thought.  I shared it with my friend, and we had a good laugh.
    But Toby had a plan.  He was working toward a goal.
    You see ~ I had come outside on a previous morning to find him sitting on top of the cab of the dump truck.
    And I came out on a later morning (after this avatar pic) to find him fully immersed in the water in the bed of the dump truck.  ...Ah... he'd made it.  And he has made it several times since.
    This is the dogs' drinking water.  Yes, we use a plastic dump truck as our dogs' outside drinking bowl.  How did this happen?  Well, you see ~ life is busy, and when we got our first dog - there was the dump truck, right there by the outside spigot.  We filled it up with water for him to drink ... and it has been the dog bowl, for five years now.
    Five years.
    I had friends here five years ago, who were part of my journey when we first brought Rocket into our family.  My sleep was disrupted for the first time in years.  I struggled with cravings, and increased caffeine consumption, and trying to figure out a new normal.
    That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's okay.
    I was thinking tonight about how much has changed just since I started this journal.  I feel like a different person.  
    That's because I am a different person.  That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's good.
    We should always be moving forward.  We should always be working toward a goal.  
    We may look like Toby in my avatar sometimes - and that's okay, too.  Toby sat there and thought about it for awhile ... but he reached his destination.
    I wish the same for each of you.
     
     
  4. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    I decided to change my avatar tonight, in honor of Toby.  He's the toad who has spent so much time with me this summer.
    One morning, I came outside to find Toby sitting backwards in the cab of the dump truck.
    "Do you ever just feel all turned around?" was my immediate thought.  I shared it with my friend, and we had a good laugh.
    But Toby had a plan.  He was working toward a goal.
    You see ~ I had come outside on a previous morning to find him sitting on top of the cab of the dump truck.
    And I came out on a later morning (after this avatar pic) to find him fully immersed in the water in the bed of the dump truck.  ...Ah... he'd made it.  And he has made it several times since.
    This is the dogs' drinking water.  Yes, we use a plastic dump truck as our dogs' outside drinking bowl.  How did this happen?  Well, you see ~ life is busy, and when we got our first dog - there was the dump truck, right there by the outside spigot.  We filled it up with water for him to drink ... and it has been the dog bowl, for five years now.
    Five years.
    I had friends here five years ago, who were part of my journey when we first brought Rocket into our family.  My sleep was disrupted for the first time in years.  I struggled with cravings, and increased caffeine consumption, and trying to figure out a new normal.
    That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's okay.
    I was thinking tonight about how much has changed just since I started this journal.  I feel like a different person.  
    That's because I am a different person.  That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's good.
    We should always be moving forward.  We should always be working toward a goal.  
    We may look like Toby in my avatar sometimes - and that's okay, too.  Toby sat there and thought about it for awhile ... but he reached his destination.
    I wish the same for each of you.
     
     
  5. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Day 1:  9/25/20
    --
     
  6. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from LadyM in Like an Onion   
    Day 1:  9/25/20
    --
     
  7. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    I decided to change my avatar tonight, in honor of Toby.  He's the toad who has spent so much time with me this summer.
    One morning, I came outside to find Toby sitting backwards in the cab of the dump truck.
    "Do you ever just feel all turned around?" was my immediate thought.  I shared it with my friend, and we had a good laugh.
    But Toby had a plan.  He was working toward a goal.
    You see ~ I had come outside on a previous morning to find him sitting on top of the cab of the dump truck.
    And I came out on a later morning (after this avatar pic) to find him fully immersed in the water in the bed of the dump truck.  ...Ah... he'd made it.  And he has made it several times since.
    This is the dogs' drinking water.  Yes, we use a plastic dump truck as our dogs' outside drinking bowl.  How did this happen?  Well, you see ~ life is busy, and when we got our first dog - there was the dump truck, right there by the outside spigot.  We filled it up with water for him to drink ... and it has been the dog bowl, for five years now.
    Five years.
    I had friends here five years ago, who were part of my journey when we first brought Rocket into our family.  My sleep was disrupted for the first time in years.  I struggled with cravings, and increased caffeine consumption, and trying to figure out a new normal.
    That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's okay.
    I was thinking tonight about how much has changed just since I started this journal.  I feel like a different person.  
    That's because I am a different person.  That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's good.
    We should always be moving forward.  We should always be working toward a goal.  
    We may look like Toby in my avatar sometimes - and that's okay, too.  Toby sat there and thought about it for awhile ... but he reached his destination.
    I wish the same for each of you.
     
     
  8. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from LadyM in Like an Onion   
    I decided to change my avatar tonight, in honor of Toby.  He's the toad who has spent so much time with me this summer.
    One morning, I came outside to find Toby sitting backwards in the cab of the dump truck.
    "Do you ever just feel all turned around?" was my immediate thought.  I shared it with my friend, and we had a good laugh.
    But Toby had a plan.  He was working toward a goal.
    You see ~ I had come outside on a previous morning to find him sitting on top of the cab of the dump truck.
    And I came out on a later morning (after this avatar pic) to find him fully immersed in the water in the bed of the dump truck.  ...Ah... he'd made it.  And he has made it several times since.
    This is the dogs' drinking water.  Yes, we use a plastic dump truck as our dogs' outside drinking bowl.  How did this happen?  Well, you see ~ life is busy, and when we got our first dog - there was the dump truck, right there by the outside spigot.  We filled it up with water for him to drink ... and it has been the dog bowl, for five years now.
    Five years.
    I had friends here five years ago, who were part of my journey when we first brought Rocket into our family.  My sleep was disrupted for the first time in years.  I struggled with cravings, and increased caffeine consumption, and trying to figure out a new normal.
    That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's okay.
    I was thinking tonight about how much has changed just since I started this journal.  I feel like a different person.  
    That's because I am a different person.  That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's good.
    We should always be moving forward.  We should always be working toward a goal.  
    We may look like Toby in my avatar sometimes - and that's okay, too.  Toby sat there and thought about it for awhile ... but he reached his destination.
    I wish the same for each of you.
     
     
  9. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from SchrodingersCat in Like an Onion   
    I decided to change my avatar tonight, in honor of Toby.  He's the toad who has spent so much time with me this summer.
    One morning, I came outside to find Toby sitting backwards in the cab of the dump truck.
    "Do you ever just feel all turned around?" was my immediate thought.  I shared it with my friend, and we had a good laugh.
    But Toby had a plan.  He was working toward a goal.
    You see ~ I had come outside on a previous morning to find him sitting on top of the cab of the dump truck.
    And I came out on a later morning (after this avatar pic) to find him fully immersed in the water in the bed of the dump truck.  ...Ah... he'd made it.  And he has made it several times since.
    This is the dogs' drinking water.  Yes, we use a plastic dump truck as our dogs' outside drinking bowl.  How did this happen?  Well, you see ~ life is busy, and when we got our first dog - there was the dump truck, right there by the outside spigot.  We filled it up with water for him to drink ... and it has been the dog bowl, for five years now.
    Five years.
    I had friends here five years ago, who were part of my journey when we first brought Rocket into our family.  My sleep was disrupted for the first time in years.  I struggled with cravings, and increased caffeine consumption, and trying to figure out a new normal.
    That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's okay.
    I was thinking tonight about how much has changed just since I started this journal.  I feel like a different person.  
    That's because I am a different person.  That's life.  That's real.  ...And that's good.
    We should always be moving forward.  We should always be working toward a goal.  
    We may look like Toby in my avatar sometimes - and that's okay, too.  Toby sat there and thought about it for awhile ... but he reached his destination.
    I wish the same for each of you.
     
     
  10. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Thanks @ShadowInTheKitchen !
    I just popped in tonight to say it’s definitely just “making a conscious decision” regarding the alcohol.  
     
    That feeling hits me around supper time ... I need to work on what I can do to avoid that happening, as well as what to do when it hits.
    My husband & kids are all out of town right now, so I made it through tonight knowing that if anything were to happen with MIL, I needed to be sober.  
    That’s just one day.  I need to do more.
  11. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    I'm sorry that you have to endure those comments... here's to being part of the change in the dialogue that our society holds.  Talking about how you feel as opposed to how you look.  I'm glad to read that you feel GOOD!  You feel good even with all the stuff you have going on in your life right now.  That is huge.  Congratulations!
  12. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Lol. I'm currently on my 7th round.  My first 4 were textbook, without reintroductions.  My 5th round was the only one I did not complete 30 days.  My 6th round, I did a restart mid-way because I had rice...I've been sloppy my last two times, and have never done a good reintroduction.  I agree - I need to do the 30, then a good reintroduction.  I get caught up in the "this is so awesome, I'm going to eat W30 forever!"  and then decide I want something so I might as well make it a reintroduction, then all falls apart.  All or nothing mentality - that's me!!  Working very hard to change it this time around.  
  13. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Day 2 yesterday:  8/28/20
    --
    The day was fine & compliant.  It was our anniversary - married 21 years - and he was out of town for work.  Not the first time & won't be the last ... so, no big deal.
    @MadyVanilla ~ I'm sorry, I haven't been venturing out to explore other people's logs or any other discussions here.  Have you not completed a Whole 30 yet?  I think getting that full 30 days in at some point, when the time is right can really be a life-changing experience.  It was for me, anyway.  
    But I also think that this way of eating is just the best human diet that makes sense - and what I mean is, the things that are eliminated are simply not the best human choices.  Every thing that has been eliminated is gone for a reason.  So "lightening the load" on your body - even one day at a time - can certainly be beneficial, as well.  I'm glad you agree.    Too many people get stuck in an all or nothing mentality.
  14. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Thanks @MadyVanilla ~ yeah, there really haven't been any times lately when I've felt "out of control".  It's just life.
    I guess I'm really just riding my own bike, and this is what that looks like for me.  Lol.  I've said here before ~ if I end up with a bunch of "Day 1" posts ... you know, over a year's time or whatever ... that's still THAT many days that I know I wasn't putting junk in the tank.  It counts.  In my mind, it counts ~ and that's really all that matters.
    Things are going well with our son so far.  There have been a lot of changes that were necessary.  This whole "running away" experience was one of those big life lessons for all involved.
  15. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Day 2 yesterday:  8/28/20
    --
    The day was fine & compliant.  It was our anniversary - married 21 years - and he was out of town for work.  Not the first time & won't be the last ... so, no big deal.
    @MadyVanilla ~ I'm sorry, I haven't been venturing out to explore other people's logs or any other discussions here.  Have you not completed a Whole 30 yet?  I think getting that full 30 days in at some point, when the time is right can really be a life-changing experience.  It was for me, anyway.  
    But I also think that this way of eating is just the best human diet that makes sense - and what I mean is, the things that are eliminated are simply not the best human choices.  Every thing that has been eliminated is gone for a reason.  So "lightening the load" on your body - even one day at a time - can certainly be beneficial, as well.  I'm glad you agree.    Too many people get stuck in an all or nothing mentality.
  16. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Day 1:  8/27/20
    --
    Starting weight:  116.8
    --
    Had some wine last night, dumped the rest of the bottle down the drain.  When I asked my husband to get me a bottle for the night of camping with my friend last week - he bought two.  Super sweet & all, but ... if it's in the house & I'm in just the right/wrong mood ~ chances are, I'll get into it.
    I'm going ahead and posting this day, early in the day, because I know it will be compliant.  I've already decided.
  17. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    TRUTH!  
    Reading through your last posts, it sounds like you've made food choices that have made sense with life.  As opposed to binging on something without logical thought.  Be kind to yourself, return to W30 as you can.  Sending positive thoughts that things go well with your son.  
  18. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Thanks @ShadowInTheKitchen for your kind words & continued support.  Our middle son is in good hands, surrounded my family who loves him ... getting to have lots of good talks and spend a lot of time out in nature and with animals.  They’ve acquired a pot-bellied pig & rescued an abandoned puppy just in the last couple of days.  So the farm is really growing!  Lol.  
     
    I’m taking a couple of days off from W30.  Last night, I drove up to have a “treasure hunt” with my dad at my grandmother’s house - she’s owned the home for 70+ years, and today it is being closed on to go to a new family.  My grandparents both used to hide money in strange places.  I had to get in the crawl space in the basement to investigate a spot my grandpa told my dad about 30-40 years ago.  It took some strength, flexibility, and a small body to get in there.  I was happy to work my way through the cobwebs for my dad.  If I hadn’t done it, he would have always wondered.  Alas, no money was found - but we had a good evening. It was an adventure.  
     
    So when they wanted to order pizza from the local bar afterwards - I went with it.  No regrets.
  19. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Day 4:  8/18/20

    Finally had the emotional breakdown about our middle son - who is still at my sister’s (doing fine) and has had zero desire to talk to us.  I was on my way to the office and suddenly just decided to have an ugly cry.  My *normally uplifting* music made me finally lose my composure.
    I made a U-turn and drove an hour north instead, and spent some time with my parents.  Because I have the most understanding employer in the world, she puts up with my life and just told me to take care of myself.
    Came home and got a surprise phone call from a friend ... and I am thankful beyond words.  Turned my whole day around.
    Took MIL & both dogs for a walk.  The evenings are getting cooler, and the Shelties can go for walks with us again.
    So many blessings in this post.
     
  20. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Lol ... Except that if I had a child for every time I decided to "let loose" and eat inflammatory food ~ I'd have a whole gaggle of children here, and would have completely lost my mind a long time ago!  
    Yesterday, I decided it was the day to go retrieve our middle son and bring him home.  My parents were there visiting, so it ended up being a big family gathering.  My sister made a huge pan of pulled pork, mashed potatoes, butternut squash with some kind of butter/syrup concoction all mixed up in it, etc.  There was no way I was going to keep that day W30 - so I didn't even worry about it.  Last night I had a pretty disturbing gut reaction to all of it.
    The pizza ... oh my word.  It was chicken bacon ranch, so no red pizza sauce - which I know I don't do well with - but yeah, the enormous amount of gluten, dairy, and onions all at once ... after staying "clean" for 18 days.  Really, really upset things.
  21. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Thanks @ShadowInTheKitchen for your kind words & continued support.  Our middle son is in good hands, surrounded my family who loves him ... getting to have lots of good talks and spend a lot of time out in nature and with animals.  They’ve acquired a pot-bellied pig & rescued an abandoned puppy just in the last couple of days.  So the farm is really growing!  Lol.  
     
    I’m taking a couple of days off from W30.  Last night, I drove up to have a “treasure hunt” with my dad at my grandmother’s house - she’s owned the home for 70+ years, and today it is being closed on to go to a new family.  My grandparents both used to hide money in strange places.  I had to get in the crawl space in the basement to investigate a spot my grandpa told my dad about 30-40 years ago.  It took some strength, flexibility, and a small body to get in there.  I was happy to work my way through the cobwebs for my dad.  If I hadn’t done it, he would have always wondered.  Alas, no money was found - but we had a good evening. It was an adventure.  
     
    So when they wanted to order pizza from the local bar afterwards - I went with it.  No regrets.
  22. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Day 5:  8/19/20

    Woke up too early today, and probably undereating overall.  Just time to go to bed & start fresh.
    The day was fine - took my youngest to the office with me so that he could get some school work done and finally meet my Irish Setter workmates.  It’s peaceful there.  He liked it.
  23. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    @Brewer5 I'm glad to hear he is well and sorry that he hasn't come around yet.  It sounds like you are doing good self care.  You will overcome this, and be stronger than ever. Take good care of you.  Sending you more virtual ((hugs))
  24. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Day 3:  8/17/20
    --
    So, of course ~ MIL's dr appt went just fine.  My husband and I both reassured her that her living situation was not going to change, no matter what was talked about at this appointment.  I know what she's been through was genuinely scary for her ~ then compounded by the fact that no one else "believes" her.  Deep down she's afraid she's going to get locked up somewhere if she talks about it.  I'm not patting myself on the back, but I am going to say out loud what a blessing it is for her that she has us.  Because I've seen first-hand: so many people do not have someone who is willing or able to take this on.  <-- And that makes me so sad.
  25. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Day 3:  8/17/20
    --
    So, of course ~ MIL's dr appt went just fine.  My husband and I both reassured her that her living situation was not going to change, no matter what was talked about at this appointment.  I know what she's been through was genuinely scary for her ~ then compounded by the fact that no one else "believes" her.  Deep down she's afraid she's going to get locked up somewhere if she talks about it.  I'm not patting myself on the back, but I am going to say out loud what a blessing it is for her that she has us.  Because I've seen first-hand: so many people do not have someone who is willing or able to take this on.  <-- And that makes me so sad.