Brewer5

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  1. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Day 7 yesterday:  8/2/20
    --
    I don't have anything to say about yesterday.  It was compliant & fine.
    Today I found out some news that I might want to bury in a bottle of wine tonight.  But guess what?  That news will still be there tomorrow.  And the next day.  And the next.  Forever.
    So I won't.
  2. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Day 7 yesterday:  8/2/20
    --
    I don't have anything to say about yesterday.  It was compliant & fine.
    Today I found out some news that I might want to bury in a bottle of wine tonight.  But guess what?  That news will still be there tomorrow.  And the next day.  And the next.  Forever.
    So I won't.
  3. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from RachelR in Like an Onion   
    Day 6 yesterday:  8/1/20
    --
    This is going okay.  Cravings for dumb stuff are definitely tied to stress and/or going too long without eating enough protein.  That's not a shocking new revelation.
    Last night after I plowed through a 9-hour shift, I came home and ate, and realized how overstimulated I felt.  That's the time when I'd be reaching for alcohol to just sort of mute the world around me and the swirling thoughts from work and life in general.  But - I didn't.  I just told myself it was time to close my eyes and go to sleep.
    Today is a new day, and I don't have to work.  Focusing on self-care and getting some things done around the house, I suppose.  The first episode in a new season of Umbrella Academy finally came out on Netflix, and my youngest has been patiently waiting until our schedules line up so we can watch it together.  It's a rainy day ~ so, pretty sure I can make time for that.  
    @Amy_Michigan ~ one thing is for sure: that was a clear sign from your body!  That sounds rough.  I hope you feel better today.
  4. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from RachelR in Like an Onion   
    Day 3:  7/29/20
    --
    This might end up being the most boring W30 log I've had yet.  I'm just not messing with logging my food - it doesn't matter.
    What matters is that I've had another compliant day, and I intend for it to remain so.  @MadyVanilla ~ I wish the same for you!
  5. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from RachelR in Like an Onion   
    If you would have told me a couple on months ago that I would be sitting here ready to write this post - I don't think I would have believed it.  But here goes:
    Alcohol has played a big part in my life since MIL came to live with us.  It started by buying some of those little cans of hard seltzer - low-carb sparkling water with alcohol - on our trip to go get her.  My husband and I went on that trip alone - and it just seemed like a relaxing "vacation" thing to do at the time.
    That one moment set in motion an addiction - and I have had alcohol almost every evening since.  I figured out that the lower-carb white wines like pinot grigio are also super low-histamine, compared to reds - and I can "get away" with drinking that mixed with sparkling water, and not have it wreck my next day.
    But is my next day ideal?  Am I feeling my best?  Of course not.
    I'm not beating myself up for using this crutch to help get through this huge adjustment.  I'm not one to feel shame when it comes to my choices.  But I am ready to stop the cycle.  This is my life now - things are settling in to our new normal - and I do need to figure out how to manage my stress in other, more productive ways.
    30 days of sobriety is in order, for sure.  Whole 30 is my ultimate reset.  My higher self knows this, and has guided me back here this morning.
    So here goes.
  6. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from RachelR in Like an Onion   
    Day 7 yesterday:  8/2/20
    --
    I don't have anything to say about yesterday.  It was compliant & fine.
    Today I found out some news that I might want to bury in a bottle of wine tonight.  But guess what?  That news will still be there tomorrow.  And the next day.  And the next.  Forever.
    So I won't.
  7. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Day 6 yesterday:  8/1/20
    --
    This is going okay.  Cravings for dumb stuff are definitely tied to stress and/or going too long without eating enough protein.  That's not a shocking new revelation.
    Last night after I plowed through a 9-hour shift, I came home and ate, and realized how overstimulated I felt.  That's the time when I'd be reaching for alcohol to just sort of mute the world around me and the swirling thoughts from work and life in general.  But - I didn't.  I just told myself it was time to close my eyes and go to sleep.
    Today is a new day, and I don't have to work.  Focusing on self-care and getting some things done around the house, I suppose.  The first episode in a new season of Umbrella Academy finally came out on Netflix, and my youngest has been patiently waiting until our schedules line up so we can watch it together.  It's a rainy day ~ so, pretty sure I can make time for that.  
    @Amy_Michigan ~ one thing is for sure: that was a clear sign from your body!  That sounds rough.  I hope you feel better today.
  8. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Semi in Like an Onion   
    Day 1:  7/27/20

    Starting weight:  120.4
    Not necessarily trying to lose weight - just recording it here for future reference.

    I overdid it with the alcohol last night.  Woke up this morning with a headache, low blood sugar feeling, and three trips to the bathroom.
    I started to journal more about that, but later decided to delete it.  The main point is that I just want to feel good again.

    I wasn’t able to sit down at the computer and keep great track of meals and times today - but I did keep the food compliant, and NO alcohol.  I haven't veered terribly far off course in the food department, so finding things to eat here at home was not a problem.

    Just got done placing another Walmart grocery delivery order.  MAN, that has been a nice service to have - especially now that masks are mandatory in all public places in our state.  Honestly, who wants to go to the store?  I sure don't.
    Overall, a good day.
  9. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Semi in Like an Onion   
    If you would have told me a couple on months ago that I would be sitting here ready to write this post - I don't think I would have believed it.  But here goes:
    Alcohol has played a big part in my life since MIL came to live with us.  It started by buying some of those little cans of hard seltzer - low-carb sparkling water with alcohol - on our trip to go get her.  My husband and I went on that trip alone - and it just seemed like a relaxing "vacation" thing to do at the time.
    That one moment set in motion an addiction - and I have had alcohol almost every evening since.  I figured out that the lower-carb white wines like pinot grigio are also super low-histamine, compared to reds - and I can "get away" with drinking that mixed with sparkling water, and not have it wreck my next day.
    But is my next day ideal?  Am I feeling my best?  Of course not.
    I'm not beating myself up for using this crutch to help get through this huge adjustment.  I'm not one to feel shame when it comes to my choices.  But I am ready to stop the cycle.  This is my life now - things are settling in to our new normal - and I do need to figure out how to manage my stress in other, more productive ways.
    30 days of sobriety is in order, for sure.  Whole 30 is my ultimate reset.  My higher self knows this, and has guided me back here this morning.
    So here goes.
  10. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Semi in Like an Onion   
    We are all like onions.  There are many layers of complexity that go together and make us appear as a Whole person.
    When you look at an onion in the grocery store ... if it clearly has a spot that is soft or discolored, what do you do?  You put it back down, and you move on to an onion that looks perfect on the outside.  You may unwittingly choose an onion that has blemishes hiding under that papery outer skin ... but in that moment, you make the best decision you can, and you move on with your day.  Because you're tired of the bright lights, the screaming children, and that old lady who keeps bumping into you with her cart ... and because, honestly ~ who thinks this much about onions?
    I do.
  11. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 5:  7/31/20
    Let me clarify: I am now being more productive.  
  12. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Day 3:  7/29/20
    --
    This might end up being the most boring W30 log I've had yet.  I'm just not messing with logging my food - it doesn't matter.
    What matters is that I've had another compliant day, and I intend for it to remain so.  @MadyVanilla ~ I wish the same for you!
  13. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Ah yes....me, and wine.  
    And Walmart pick-up, the best thing ever.  
    Here's to another compliant day, working toward feeling well! 
  14. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 2:  7/28/20
    --
    Worked a nursing shift today, and just not much time for logging my food like I used to.  Deep thoughts might come another day, too.    
    My food has all been compliant ~ this really hasn't been hard (and shouldn't be for me, anyway).  I think the tough moments will be when I really want a diet dew or alcohol.  Neither of those has hit me just yet.
    @Amy_Michigan ~ thanks so much ~ good to hear from you!
  15. Thanks
    Brewer5 reacted to Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Good luck with your next whole30 round!
  16. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 1:  7/27/20

    Starting weight:  120.4
    Not necessarily trying to lose weight - just recording it here for future reference.

    I overdid it with the alcohol last night.  Woke up this morning with a headache, low blood sugar feeling, and three trips to the bathroom.
    I started to journal more about that, but later decided to delete it.  The main point is that I just want to feel good again.

    I wasn’t able to sit down at the computer and keep great track of meals and times today - but I did keep the food compliant, and NO alcohol.  I haven't veered terribly far off course in the food department, so finding things to eat here at home was not a problem.

    Just got done placing another Walmart grocery delivery order.  MAN, that has been a nice service to have - especially now that masks are mandatory in all public places in our state.  Honestly, who wants to go to the store?  I sure don't.
    Overall, a good day.
  17. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    If you would have told me a couple on months ago that I would be sitting here ready to write this post - I don't think I would have believed it.  But here goes:
    Alcohol has played a big part in my life since MIL came to live with us.  It started by buying some of those little cans of hard seltzer - low-carb sparkling water with alcohol - on our trip to go get her.  My husband and I went on that trip alone - and it just seemed like a relaxing "vacation" thing to do at the time.
    That one moment set in motion an addiction - and I have had alcohol almost every evening since.  I figured out that the lower-carb white wines like pinot grigio are also super low-histamine, compared to reds - and I can "get away" with drinking that mixed with sparkling water, and not have it wreck my next day.
    But is my next day ideal?  Am I feeling my best?  Of course not.
    I'm not beating myself up for using this crutch to help get through this huge adjustment.  I'm not one to feel shame when it comes to my choices.  But I am ready to stop the cycle.  This is my life now - things are settling in to our new normal - and I do need to figure out how to manage my stress in other, more productive ways.
    30 days of sobriety is in order, for sure.  Whole 30 is my ultimate reset.  My higher self knows this, and has guided me back here this morning.
    So here goes.
  18. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    If we have another world wide lock-down like what happened in March & April, this is what I would do.  I'm glad that I took time this spring to do some serious deep cleaning in my house, and to start this very successful W30, but now things are back to normal and busy as ever, and I really want a few days off  a few weeks off just to fix a diet and meal plan that's right for me. If only there was a W30 spa/retreat we could all meet up at... 
  19. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from RachelR in Like an Onion   
    Day 31 was on Thursday.  That was my last completely compliant day.  
    I'm putting a list here of my non-compliant items, because I need to get back on track.  I can feel the difference, and I don't like it.
    Friday = trail mix & McDonald's
    Saturday = one popcorn shrimp (lol)
    Sunday = peanuts
    Monday = shortbread cookies @ work (wtf!) & peanuts @ home
    Tuesday = peanuts
    --
    Anybody notice a problem item standing out here?  
    I don't know ... I mean, of course it could be much worse ... but I just feel out of sorts.  I was really on a roll with W30.  The cookies at the nurses' station ... I mean, wow.  That's the first time I think I've EVER dug into something like that at work.  I usually just ignore, ignore, ignore.
    Were they worth it?  Hell, no!  I still want to lose some more fat.  What the heck am I doing?  Stress eating.  That's what.  My job is stressful, and there were cookies, and I shoved them in my face.
    I'm honestly not beating myself up about it - I mean, it's over.  Just thinking through what I need to do to get back on track and avoid that nonsense in the future.
  20. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Day 2:  6/22/20

    7:30 am:  1/2 banana

    10:00 am:  homemade cocoa almond butter

    SO happy to be back at work, at my non-stressful job, in the office again.  We had not been together in the office since early March, d/t this coronavirus mess.  I spent one day in the office last week.  It’s so nice to be able to focus on work & just work.  Working from home is NOT all it’s cracked up to be!  Not for me, anyway.

    12:30 pm:  W30 frozen meal

    2:15 pm:  homemade cocoa almond butter (again)

    Having so - SO much trouble staying awake, sitting at my desk at work.  It’s BAD.  And there doesn’t seem to be enough coffee in the world to cure it.

    5:30 pm:  steak fries cooked in air fryer w/ coconut oil & salt

    9:00 pm:  finished that batch of almond butter (and probably shouldn’t make any more for awhile - I am just waiting for my gut to have its revenge!), tri-color cole slaw veggies w/ avocado ranch

    This day was short on protein, but I’m okay with that.  I’m well aware of the meal template - but it works out best for me not to stress about it.  Each W30 is unique.  Compliant food is good enough for me, for now.   
  21. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Day 2:  6/22/20

    7:30 am:  1/2 banana

    10:00 am:  homemade cocoa almond butter

    SO happy to be back at work, at my non-stressful job, in the office again.  We had not been together in the office since early March, d/t this coronavirus mess.  I spent one day in the office last week.  It’s so nice to be able to focus on work & just work.  Working from home is NOT all it’s cracked up to be!  Not for me, anyway.

    12:30 pm:  W30 frozen meal

    2:15 pm:  homemade cocoa almond butter (again)

    Having so - SO much trouble staying awake, sitting at my desk at work.  It’s BAD.  And there doesn’t seem to be enough coffee in the world to cure it.

    5:30 pm:  steak fries cooked in air fryer w/ coconut oil & salt

    9:00 pm:  finished that batch of almond butter (and probably shouldn’t make any more for awhile - I am just waiting for my gut to have its revenge!), tri-color cole slaw veggies w/ avocado ranch

    This day was short on protein, but I’m okay with that.  I’m well aware of the meal template - but it works out best for me not to stress about it.  Each W30 is unique.  Compliant food is good enough for me, for now.   
  22. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    @ShadowInTheKitchen ~ thanks for being here.   
    I'm not sure that I'm the best person to give you a picture of what life will be like post-W30.  I think some people manage to keep good habits really well, some people go off the rails on the crazy train ... and I fall somewhere in the middle of that.
    To be honest, my eating has not been that bad - and I have questioned (definitely last night, and also this morning as I type this) whether I really need to "do" another round.  But the alcohol had crept back in, every night for the past several - and that is a problem for me.  I've also noticed a mental fog settling in that I simply can't afford.  I have a lot of people depending on me - both at home, and at work - and I need to be the best I can be.
    There has not been A Decision in my mind to throw out my W30 guidelines - but it has happened, nonetheless.  
    One recent day of nursing, I went in the break room at work 3 different times and crammed down a combo of one GF Girl Scout cookie + a spoon of cheap crappy peanut butter.  I've also been buying diet mt. dew from the vending machine to "power through".
    I know that I would have been better off going through the whole shift not eating at all - but those things are there, and they are free and available to me, and I have no hard-set rules ... so, in my mouth they went.
    Stress is a factor - too big for me right now.  W30 eliminates the option of just being like "whatever" when it comes to food.  
    I think I may continue to go through these cycles.  Whether that is the norm for others or not, I cannot say.
  23. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    @MadyVanilla ~ yep, you've got it.  Exactly.  It takes me just a few days for those ridiculous urges to go away - and then it's pretty smooth sailing.  And I feel so much better, I think I will stick with this forever and be perfectly happy!
  24. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from MadyVanilla in Like an Onion   
    Day 1:  6/21/20

    Starting weight:  124.8

    9:30 am:  (2) eggs w/ ghee & coconut oil
    Would have cooked more, but that’s all we had in the house.  Clearly there is some shopping to do.

    2:15 pm:  bowl of homemade almond butter mix:  raw almonds, MCT oil, 100% cocoa powder, salt
    I’ve made my own almond butter in the food processor, and have been eating this concoction, but with some maple honey added.  I finished the maple honey yesterday ~ how convenient.  It tastes just fine to me without it.

    9:15 pm:  (2) chicken breasts cooked up w/ ghee & a can of diced tomatoes and green chilies

    Might look like a weird eating day - but it feels like a major accomplishment.
    I fought past a major urge to drink alcohol while I was fixing my supper.  Too many things going on at once + probably a day of underrating overall.  That desire to drink went away after eating.
    Only downside to my supper was the big histamine hit - tomatoes are bad, and I think canned ones are even worse.  My eyes started watering like crazy, so I took an allergy pill.  I’m over it.  Histamine is almost impossible to avoid, so sometimes I may just have to medicate.

    REALLY looking forward to going in to the office tomorrow.  I love my MIL dearly, but we will benefit from some time apart.  This living situation is not what either of us would have chosen for ourselves … so we both just have to make the best of it.
    Had groceries delivered from Walmart for the first time tonight - oh my word, I'm sold.  I don't enjoy grocery shopping in the least, and I really hate going to Walmart.  Whole 30 food & frozen meals delivered right to my door?  Umm, yes please!   
  25. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Day 1:  6/21/20

    Starting weight:  124.8

    9:30 am:  (2) eggs w/ ghee & coconut oil
    Would have cooked more, but that’s all we had in the house.  Clearly there is some shopping to do.

    2:15 pm:  bowl of homemade almond butter mix:  raw almonds, MCT oil, 100% cocoa powder, salt
    I’ve made my own almond butter in the food processor, and have been eating this concoction, but with some maple honey added.  I finished the maple honey yesterday ~ how convenient.  It tastes just fine to me without it.

    9:15 pm:  (2) chicken breasts cooked up w/ ghee & a can of diced tomatoes and green chilies

    Might look like a weird eating day - but it feels like a major accomplishment.
    I fought past a major urge to drink alcohol while I was fixing my supper.  Too many things going on at once + probably a day of underrating overall.  That desire to drink went away after eating.
    Only downside to my supper was the big histamine hit - tomatoes are bad, and I think canned ones are even worse.  My eyes started watering like crazy, so I took an allergy pill.  I’m over it.  Histamine is almost impossible to avoid, so sometimes I may just have to medicate.

    REALLY looking forward to going in to the office tomorrow.  I love my MIL dearly, but we will benefit from some time apart.  This living situation is not what either of us would have chosen for ourselves … so we both just have to make the best of it.
    Had groceries delivered from Walmart for the first time tonight - oh my word, I'm sold.  I don't enjoy grocery shopping in the least, and I really hate going to Walmart.  Whole 30 food & frozen meals delivered right to my door?  Umm, yes please!