Brewer5

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  1. Thanks
    Brewer5 reacted to Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    You completed your whole30!  Wow!!! Awesome work!  Sorry about your toe situation- major bummer.  Hope you feel better soon.  Love that you know yourself enough to know right away this is for life, not 30 days.  
  2. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    @Brewer5 what the what! Yes you have bones in your pinky toe and if it’s crunchy then it’s broke.  I hope you made a splint to protect it.  For whatever reasons broken toes are great at finding extra things to hit.  I speak from experience.  It will hurt like the dickens for a few weeks.
    its crazy how easily we slip into the comfortable old ways when the brain isn’t tuned in.  I’m trying to learn to ask myself questions and not just think I have no other options.  What options can I create for myself?  During this round instead of thinking I can’t have that I’m asking do I really want it?  I’m telling myself I can have anything I really want... and I’m learning how to make my goals and my health a bigger want than that club sub or piece of pina colada cake (for the love of God would someone please eat the last piece of cake!). I don’t want to live on whole 30 forever but I do want to eat whole 30 forever.  That may only make sense to me lol.
    Hope your toe heals quickly, friend!
  3. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 31:  5/14/20

    Had to be at work at 6 am, and definitely had an unhappy gut this morning.  Took two Imodium just so I could make the drive to work.  Ugh.
    I was careless yesterday with the garlic and onion in the meatballs … and of course, the ranch.  I know better, and I ate it anyway.  It’s too easy when my husband cooks “compliant” items - just because it’s W30 compliant does NOT mean it is going to do great things for me.
    Broken record on that issue.  

    12:30 pm:  quickly crammed down a sad bowl of cold leftover potatoes w/ ghee and salt at work
    This is what happens when you don’t plan ahead on W30.

    After I clocked out, I actually went and examined everything in the vending machines - and I *almost* bought a diet Mt. Dew for the drive home.  I stood there for a minute, mentally slapping myself right back out of that idea.
    What was I thinking?
    The 30 days are done - it’s like another part of me wanted to take over now.  Ridiculous.

    4:30 pm:  frozen W30 meal w/ ghee

    7:30 pm:  banana

    Weird eating day.  Just a weird day overall.  When I have to get up that early for work … well, it’s not something my body is ever going to get used to.  It is completely unnatural to get up when it is still totally dark outside.  Period.
    Re-examining what shifts I should actually be signing up to work.  Morning shifts are too early - evening shifts go too late.
    I think I just chose the wrong profession.  {Joking, not joking.}
  4. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 29:  5/12/20

    10:30 am:  banana

    11:15 am:  (1) acetaminophen d/t headache

    11:30 am:  (3) eggs w/ diced potatoes and ghee

    12:45 pm:  (1) Imodium & (1) acetaminophen

    I just don’t feel good today.  Feel like my blood pressure is up.  I finally ordered a BP monitor so I can check it out at home.  This doesn’t happen very often, but I’d like to see what it looks like when I’m feeling this way.
    I don’t think this has anything to do with my diet.  I have come to realize that emotional stress creates physical symptoms that are quite real.  A recent conversation with a friend stirred some things up in me, and I don’t feel at peace.

    8:00 pm:  W30 frozen meal w/ ghee

    I was pretty wiped out after just a 5-hour shift.  Went to sleep without posting - so I’m posting this the next day.
  5. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 30:  5/13/20

    11:00 am:  banana & egg (yes, pancakes) w/ bacon
    I wasn’t planning to eat these today, but my husband made them - and when I decided I was ready to eat, there they were on the counter. 
    Too easy.  I’ve got other stuff to do and worry about.

    12:15 pm:  grabbed more banana egg circles lol

    2:30 pm:  meatballs w/ ranch

    5:45 pm:  finished the ... umm, bananas cradled in eggs

    9:30 pm:  steak, diced potatoes, ghee

    Well, I did it.
    Tomorrow morning I will weigh myself, out of curiosity and for the sake of documentation.
    I predict a small loss of # on the scale.  But I’d be happy if the number were exactly the same as when I started.  I had been gaining, gaining, gaining at a rapid rate … for I don’t know how long.  {I’d really have to think about it ~ and I’m too tired for that.} 
    I just wanted/needed the gaining to stop.  I’m sure I’ve achieved that ~ and of course, so much more = many NSV’s.
  6. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Thanks so much @BabyBear ~ you have been here at some crucial moments for me ... I still remember when I was feeling lost, and was ready to turn my back and walk away from the forum earlier in the year - and your sad face was all it took to make me stay.  
    I'll be taking it one day at a time ... which, honestly, is what I've been doing all along.  Each day I have still had the choice to say "screw it" and have a glass of wine (or whatever) ... I mean, look how many times I have started numbering, re-started numbering, etc etc. 
    My tiny goal was to make it past my record (on this journal, this year) of 10 days - and by the time I got to that point, I was over the hump of cravings, and it was no big deal to just keep going.
    On the subject of reintroduction: no.  And the reason for this is twofold: 1) I don't believe that anything W30 excludes is good for me, and 2) I have already done reintro in the past.  I have a pretty good idea of how each excluded item affects me.
    That is not to say that anyone else should not do a reintro -- I believe that is a vital part of the program, especially for anyone on their first round.  But this is far from my first round.  I believe this is officially four.  
    And, as I've mentioned before - I have been experimenting with my nutrition for close to 20 years.  I have been a member on this forum for 6 years now, and W30 has been a part of me and the way I view what is food vs. what is not food for the entirety of those 6 years.  I most certainly have not stuck to W30 foods - and I am not claiming anything of the sort.  But I have always believed, since 2014, that some combination of W30 foods is best.  
    So for me, personally, these 30 days really need to serve as a stepping stone to the next level.  I've established a good baseline - but I still have plenty of room for optimization.
  7. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 31:  5/14/20
    Weighed in today ~ same conditions:  126.4 lbs
    That's 4.8 lbs in 30 days ~ and 3.7% of my weight = gone.
  8. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 24:  5/7/20

    9:30 am:  frozen W30 meal w/ ghee

    Definitely feeling the effects of working an evening shift … didn’t get to sleep until around 1 am, and that’s pretty far from my norm.
    Had a moment in the kitchen this morning of: “screw it, let’s just shove in whatever’s easy” … but didn’t take me long to counter that with: “no way, you’ve come too far”.
    And I don’t mean far as in # of days.  I mean far, as in:  managing anxiety much more effectively / reduced overall, majorly cutting down on the painful bloat and bowel issues, beginning to shed some of the ridiculous winter fat layer, and not feeling out of control with my food decisions.
    So I know that the next day after a nursing shift, I’m going to need to be careful to honor my body’s needs … and no, that isn’t cramming in “whatever works” in that moment because I’m tired.  That is *nourishing* my body.  Giving it good food, fluids, and rest … realizing that, internally, I have just gone through a battle - because it is.  For me, especially.  I think some do better with it than others - but we are not designed to be “ON” for 8, 10, 12, 16 hours STRAIGHT.  Alas ~ that is nursing.  The woman I took report from yesterday afternoon had just been on duty for 20 hours.

    3:15 pm:  chicken breast, tri-color cole slaw veggies w/ ranch

    9:15 pm:  (2) HB eggs, tri-color Cole slaw veggies w/ ranch
  9. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 26:  5/9/20

    8:30 am - 3:00 pm:  I consumed the (1) banana and (4) eggs my husband made (yes, into pancakes) for me the night before, so that I could have them in the fridge at work to grab whenever I could on my shift today.
    I am not a pancake addict.  Sadly, I don’t think bananas are the best choice for me  - so this is not going to turn into a pancake addiction, either.  They make my mouth feel weird.  I don't think they make me feel great overall.

    7:00 pm:  homemade steak fries in air fryer w/ avocado ranch

    Weird eating day - weird day, anyway.  I got 4 hours of sleep last night, and feel a little bit like I’m in a dream state since I got home from work.  Had a really good day at work, though.
    Feeling thankful.   
  10. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 27:  5/10/20

    I have had some things popping up on this W30 journey that I don’t think I’ve talked about here yet.  I have felt so good in other areas, I haven’t wanted to address it just yet.
    I had a Baker’s cyst in the back of my knee years ago, when my kids were little - and one day at the library, it ruptured.  That was a feeling quite unlike anything I’d ever experienced.  I was convinced that something was terribly wrong, and all I could think was that I had a blockage - a blood clot somewhere that was going to kill me.  It might not make any sense to me now, but at the time I was convinced that I was going to die, so I went to the ER.  They told me what was going on, I went home and elevated the leg, and soon all was well.
    That feeling in the back of my knee flares up sometimes - and I haven’t been able to pinpoint the cause, exactly.  It seemed to happen when I would try to go back to carnivore - and that is part of what has kept me from it.
    But now … I am not eating what I would consider meat-heavy, at all, and yet it has been an ongoing issue.
    So there is inflammation.  That is the bottom line.  I want to point my finger at potatoes, but I wasn’t eating potatoes on carnivore.

    NOW I have had something new - a feeling (pain) in my right elbow.  It’s gone on long enough that I don’t feel that this is an acute injury … and I never did.  It’s more inflammation, and this time in a new place.  I’ve been able to live my daily life … but, if I were really trying to do things with that right arm - like lifting weights, mowing the yard, using my chainsaw - all of those things that I love - then this would REALLY be pissing me off.
    (As I'm typing this, there's a feeling in my left pinky, like pins and needles.  WTF...)

    I’m not sure, at this moment, at 7:35 am on Mother’s Day, what I’m going to do about it.  I don’t know how I want to proceed.  I feel like I’m getting back to that place of “I don’t know what to eat” and “I wish I just didn’t have to eat” because W30 limits so many things (and rightfully so) - and then I have to narrow it down even further, because I have issues with so many plant foods, for one reason or another.

    I think possibly no one is going to read this today.  Lol.  But, if you are out there reading - I hope you have a nice, relaxing Mother’s Day.
    I have decided to give myself the day off - no attempting to do my work on the computer.  I am behind on hours, but I can play catch-up starting tomorrow.
    Today I want to put down new flooring in the kitchen.  And so, I shall.  My joints might be unhappy with me ... but they can get over it.   
  11. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 27:  5/10/20 (cont)

    1:30 pm:  piece of salmon w/ ghee, air fryer steak fries

    8:50 pm:  Five Guys two patties, grilled onions, lettuce, tomato, air fryer steak fries w/ ranch

    Clearly I didn’t decide to cut out potatoes today.
    I did have a good, productive day - got about 1/3 of the kitchen floor done.  I felt great doing it, but ever since I decided to sit down and eat supper, I’m feeling it in my lower back.
    Getting old sucks.  
    I don't think it has much to do with my age, though.  I'm just not as strong as I used to be.  My body isn't used to all of this.  Part of what I loved about weightlifting was that when you progressively build up that kind of muscle - it makes everyday activities so much easier ... like nothing.  I miss that.
  12. Sad
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Blueautumn in Like an Onion   
    So, two days ago - what would have been Day 32 - I broke my pinky toe.  It was so weird - I just walked into the back of the loveseat that I have in my little office area.  I wasn't speeding, I wasn't angry ... It was so ungraceful and out of my norm, I was just like what the {curse words}?! and I thought I'd just walk it off.  Then it felt crunchy.  I have never felt anything like it.  41 years - I've never broken anything!  Well, I am 99.9% sure that I broke the damn thing.  When I texted to tell my mom - she thought you don't have bones in your pinky toe.  Umm, yes, yes you do ... and they feel crunchy when you break them.  Trust me on this one.  Lol.
    The long story short is that I then had to jam this foot into a shoe, because I don't like driving with flip-flops ... and that was a bad choice.  I had to drive over an hour to pick up my son, and had placed an online order for two boxes of flooring at this far-away Lowe's, because no one around here has it in stock and I want to finish my kitchen.
    Well, whoever picked my two boxes clearly did not care ... they were both ripped open, with pieces of flooring chipped.  Are you kidding me?!  So my son and I trekked all over Lowe's, with my broken toe, trying to dig up some good boxes.
    It was at the checkout when I started to feel a little shaky inside ... all of these events caught up with me, and I realized I'd had too much coffee and nothing to eat since my banana 4 hours prior.  The trail mix at the checkout called my name, and I answered.
    The worst part is that we stopped to get food at McDonald's on the way home at 9:00 pm ... I got McDoubles and I ATE THE BUNS.    Holy what just happened to my brain, Batman ........
    So I decided that clearly I am not ready to step outside of my W30 guidelines, and resolved to make yesterday a new Day 1.  That is, until I saw that my son had made too much popcorn shrimp in the air fryer yesterday afternoon, and decided I needed to eat it.  I ate ONE piece - and my brain said: stop.  Just stop.  Walk away from the popcorn shrimp, and nobody gets hurt.
    With the exception of that one moment of weakness - yesterday was completely compliant.
    Today is a new day.  I have to go to work - nursing - but only a 4-hour shift.  My toe is going to be okay.  My food is going to be okay.
    It's all going to be okay!
  13. Thanks
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Blueautumn in Like an Onion   
    @Blueautumn ~ wow ... Thank you so much for your post.  I am very glad reading through this was helpful to you.  
    You know, there have been many times I was posting and no one was "around" here.  I didn't know if anyone was going to see some of the things I said - and that's okay.  I still felt compelled to keep writing.  Keeping a journal is one of the most powerful tools on this journey.
    Just know that even when you feel alone ... if you feel like no one else understands or supports your efforts ... we are here for you.  Reach out to me by tagging me, as you have already done - or feel free to send me a PM anytime.
    There are many things in life that don't come easy and aren't comfortable.  You work in a hospital.  Any job in a hospital is not easy - especially at this time.  Yet, you get out there and do it - and it is often a thankless job.  Whole 30 will feel like that at times.  You will wonder what in the world motivated you to sign yourself up for something like this ... and parts of your brain will very much want to say: screw it.  
    Talk yourself through those moments, with love and with nourishing food, and REST ... and soldier on.  The payoff, throughout your journey, and as you reach your final goal - is immeasurable.  You will leave these 30 days a changed person - and that is why you are here.
    Best wishes!
  14. Sad
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    So, two days ago - what would have been Day 32 - I broke my pinky toe.  It was so weird - I just walked into the back of the loveseat that I have in my little office area.  I wasn't speeding, I wasn't angry ... It was so ungraceful and out of my norm, I was just like what the {curse words}?! and I thought I'd just walk it off.  Then it felt crunchy.  I have never felt anything like it.  41 years - I've never broken anything!  Well, I am 99.9% sure that I broke the damn thing.  When I texted to tell my mom - she thought you don't have bones in your pinky toe.  Umm, yes, yes you do ... and they feel crunchy when you break them.  Trust me on this one.  Lol.
    The long story short is that I then had to jam this foot into a shoe, because I don't like driving with flip-flops ... and that was a bad choice.  I had to drive over an hour to pick up my son, and had placed an online order for two boxes of flooring at this far-away Lowe's, because no one around here has it in stock and I want to finish my kitchen.
    Well, whoever picked my two boxes clearly did not care ... they were both ripped open, with pieces of flooring chipped.  Are you kidding me?!  So my son and I trekked all over Lowe's, with my broken toe, trying to dig up some good boxes.
    It was at the checkout when I started to feel a little shaky inside ... all of these events caught up with me, and I realized I'd had too much coffee and nothing to eat since my banana 4 hours prior.  The trail mix at the checkout called my name, and I answered.
    The worst part is that we stopped to get food at McDonald's on the way home at 9:00 pm ... I got McDoubles and I ATE THE BUNS.    Holy what just happened to my brain, Batman ........
    So I decided that clearly I am not ready to step outside of my W30 guidelines, and resolved to make yesterday a new Day 1.  That is, until I saw that my son had made too much popcorn shrimp in the air fryer yesterday afternoon, and decided I needed to eat it.  I ate ONE piece - and my brain said: stop.  Just stop.  Walk away from the popcorn shrimp, and nobody gets hurt.
    With the exception of that one moment of weakness - yesterday was completely compliant.
    Today is a new day.  I have to go to work - nursing - but only a 4-hour shift.  My toe is going to be okay.  My food is going to be okay.
    It's all going to be okay!
  15. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to BabyBear in A Very Hungry Mommy and Baby W30 R2.2   
    Sadness, Surprises and Surviving
    Easter interrupted my round 2, then I jumped back on the wagon but was avoiding my thoughts and feelings so I avoided journaling.  I took a pregnancy test about a week after Easter and it was negative.  I expected to feel relief rather I felt sadness deep sadness and concern as to what was going on with my body.  It felt different things were just weird.  I had more compliant days than not for most of the days left in April and May hit and I was so tired and exhausted and HUNGRY for all the things that I turned off my brain and dived into some emotional eating and turning to sundrop to try to help with energy levels.  All the while my body is still feeling weird and off.  The exhaustion made no sense the ravenous appetite made no sense and now smells began to bother me... none of this adds up unless I was prego, but the test said no.  Finally just before mother’s day my hubby encouraged me to test again.  It was positive I wasn’t crazy, and things started making sense.  I decided to wait until after we celebrated the oldest boys 18th birthday to pick up the whole 30 quest hard core.  I’ve put down the sundrop though I’ve “needed” a little ginger ale in the evenings as that’s when my stomach begins to churn.  So tomorrow is my official start date.   I am not doing this to loose weight, I am doing this to provide me and baby better nutrition and to get off the slide I’ve been on for the past two weeks.  To re-establish healthy eating choices and relationship to food and my body.   Today I am working on mindset and some prep work that will make jumping back in easy and delicious.  
  16. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to Blueautumn in Like an Onion   
    Hi! @Brewer5
    honestly not sure if you were planning on coming back to this thread since you finished the Whole30 a few days ago!! I spent the downtime in my work shifts at the hospital this week reading through your thread from beginning to end and there were so many gems and I loved watching/reading your journey. I kept going to respond to posts and would stop myself when I realized they were from weeks or months ago LOL. Just wanted to say that I found your log extremely helpful as I get ready to start my first round.
    Sending good vibes for your future endeavors
     
  17. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Blueautumn in Like an Onion   
    Day 31:  5/14/20
    Weighed in today ~ same conditions:  126.4 lbs
    That's 4.8 lbs in 30 days ~ and 3.7% of my weight = gone.
  18. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    Thanks so much @BabyBear ~ you have been here at some crucial moments for me ... I still remember when I was feeling lost, and was ready to turn my back and walk away from the forum earlier in the year - and your sad face was all it took to make me stay.  
    I'll be taking it one day at a time ... which, honestly, is what I've been doing all along.  Each day I have still had the choice to say "screw it" and have a glass of wine (or whatever) ... I mean, look how many times I have started numbering, re-started numbering, etc etc. 
    My tiny goal was to make it past my record (on this journal, this year) of 10 days - and by the time I got to that point, I was over the hump of cravings, and it was no big deal to just keep going.
    On the subject of reintroduction: no.  And the reason for this is twofold: 1) I don't believe that anything W30 excludes is good for me, and 2) I have already done reintro in the past.  I have a pretty good idea of how each excluded item affects me.
    That is not to say that anyone else should not do a reintro -- I believe that is a vital part of the program, especially for anyone on their first round.  But this is far from my first round.  I believe this is officially four.  
    And, as I've mentioned before - I have been experimenting with my nutrition for close to 20 years.  I have been a member on this forum for 6 years now, and W30 has been a part of me and the way I view what is food vs. what is not food for the entirety of those 6 years.  I most certainly have not stuck to W30 foods - and I am not claiming anything of the sort.  But I have always believed, since 2014, that some combination of W30 foods is best.  
    So for me, personally, these 30 days really need to serve as a stepping stone to the next level.  I've established a good baseline - but I still have plenty of room for optimization.
  19. Thanks
    Brewer5 reacted to ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Congratulations Brewer5, that is a great result!   What do you feel is your greatest NSV?
    Shadow
  20. Thanks
    Brewer5 reacted to BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    You did it!!!! I’m so incredibly proud of you.  Sometimes it just feels good to complete something.  Do you have plans from here or just take life day by day?  Will you do a reintro 
    I’m wrestling with a start date, but I think Saturday should be my day.  
  21. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from ShadowInTheKitchen in Like an Onion   
    Day 31:  5/14/20
    Weighed in today ~ same conditions:  126.4 lbs
    That's 4.8 lbs in 30 days ~ and 3.7% of my weight = gone.
  22. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    Day 31:  5/14/20
    Weighed in today ~ same conditions:  126.4 lbs
    That's 4.8 lbs in 30 days ~ and 3.7% of my weight = gone.
  23. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    Day 30:  5/13/20

    11:00 am:  banana & egg (yes, pancakes) w/ bacon
    I wasn’t planning to eat these today, but my husband made them - and when I decided I was ready to eat, there they were on the counter. 
    Too easy.  I’ve got other stuff to do and worry about.

    12:15 pm:  grabbed more banana egg circles lol

    2:30 pm:  meatballs w/ ranch

    5:45 pm:  finished the ... umm, bananas cradled in eggs

    9:30 pm:  steak, diced potatoes, ghee

    Well, I did it.
    Tomorrow morning I will weigh myself, out of curiosity and for the sake of documentation.
    I predict a small loss of # on the scale.  But I’d be happy if the number were exactly the same as when I started.  I had been gaining, gaining, gaining at a rapid rate … for I don’t know how long.  {I’d really have to think about it ~ and I’m too tired for that.} 
    I just wanted/needed the gaining to stop.  I’m sure I’ve achieved that ~ and of course, so much more = many NSV’s.
  24. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    Day 29:  5/12/20

    10:30 am:  banana

    11:15 am:  (1) acetaminophen d/t headache

    11:30 am:  (3) eggs w/ diced potatoes and ghee

    12:45 pm:  (1) Imodium & (1) acetaminophen

    I just don’t feel good today.  Feel like my blood pressure is up.  I finally ordered a BP monitor so I can check it out at home.  This doesn’t happen very often, but I’d like to see what it looks like when I’m feeling this way.
    I don’t think this has anything to do with my diet.  I have come to realize that emotional stress creates physical symptoms that are quite real.  A recent conversation with a friend stirred some things up in me, and I don’t feel at peace.

    8:00 pm:  W30 frozen meal w/ ghee

    I was pretty wiped out after just a 5-hour shift.  Went to sleep without posting - so I’m posting this the next day.
  25. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    So happy to have you back.    Thanks!