Brewer5

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  1. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    You guys are great.    Thank you.  
    @BabyBear ~ you took the time to go back and count for me.  That means a lot.
    And @Emma ~ I'm already a fully-fledged, card-carrying member of The Club  ..... and that is when the anxiety about it really began.
    The saying, "Shit happens" has a lot of meaning for me.  Lol.  Yes... yes, it does.
  2. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to Emma in Like an Onion   
    Oh my goodness - the vegan thing did not work for me! I tried a vegan cleanse with some other folks at my doctor's office and weekly we'd all meet and they'd all share how great they were feeling and I'd just stay quiet so I wouldn't mess with the happy vibe, but I felt HORRIBLE. I had headaches, was bloated, was constipated. I read it might be not enough protein so I added more in and still felt horrible. It was a good three week experiment because I felt like I gave it a go and learned that the foods (the grains and the legumes) are not the best visitors in my body. I feel SO much better eating a Whole30 esque way. It's been nice having a doctor who has respected that and affirms that "people's bodies are different and different things work for different people" SO true! 
    I love what BabyBear said about the 21 days of nourishment. 
    Sorry you woke up like poo. Glad you woke up. Glad you didn't sh-- your pants! Though if you had....eh...you just get to belong to the "sh-- my pants club". Been there - done that!
    Hope your day is forgiving.
  3. Thanks
    Brewer5 reacted to BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    Panic attacks suck! Nearly messing the pants sucks worse! I would have totally locked myself in my room and hid under the covers for several days. You went to the movies and stayed present in your peoples life.  Since you started logging on here you’ve had at least 21 compliant days.  Let that sink in... 21 days somewhere between 42 and 63 meals plus snacks that have nourished your body rather than attack your body.  You keep coming back and that is what success looks like.  It is only a failure if you don’t get back up, no matter how long that takes.  Be proud of the fact you keep getting up.  
  4. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    Ladies, I appreciate your understanding and commiseration.  
    I'm not using this as some kind of excuse to completely derail -- you all know how well I was doing yesterday before this happened.  This is why keeping a journal and having support/accountability is so important.
    So I'll just evaluate my findings here:
    woke up with a headache and could feel fluid in my left ear before I even opened my eyes - it's almost always my left ear - this is classic bad sign for me woke up with my entire lower back aching - I can't tell you when was the last time I felt this - many months - so possibly more related to sleeping 9 hours after: passed out at 10 pm without doing all of the things I normally do before bed ~ just ridiculously exhausted ---
    I could say a lot -- a lot -- on the subject of anxiety, panic attacks, and IBS.  I could probably write a book ~ and I have thought about it.  I have a lot of books in my head, actually.  
    I have spent the last 18+ years - since the birth of our first son - actively researching, experimenting, theorizing, contemplating, reading, trying ... {fill in some more action verbs here ~ you get the idea}.
    With nutrition, I've been everywhere on the spectrum from SAD to carnivore.  I think the only thing I haven't done is vegan ... and I won't.  Not because I have such a strong love, craving, desire of meat ~ but because I know how much better I feel on a higher, meat-based, protein diet.  It's a personal truth, and one that is not going to change.
    ---
    But for today, I'll save the book.  There is one important thing I want to say, and it's taken me a really long time to get here:
    Love yourself for who you are.
    Don't dismiss that as some cheesy tagline.  Seriously.  Think about it.
    I almost shit my pants in the carwash with my husband yesterday.    Do you know how that could break someone ... just make them never want to leave the house again?
    But no.  NO.  I've been there, done that.  I am stronger than that.  Life is short, and I have a lot of things I want to accomplish.
    So laugh with me about that.  Because I'm smiling right now.  It's a new day ~ and I may have woken up feeling like poo ~ but I woke up.
  5. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    Ladies, I appreciate your understanding and commiseration.  
    I'm not using this as some kind of excuse to completely derail -- you all know how well I was doing yesterday before this happened.  This is why keeping a journal and having support/accountability is so important.
    So I'll just evaluate my findings here:
    woke up with a headache and could feel fluid in my left ear before I even opened my eyes - it's almost always my left ear - this is classic bad sign for me woke up with my entire lower back aching - I can't tell you when was the last time I felt this - many months - so possibly more related to sleeping 9 hours after: passed out at 10 pm without doing all of the things I normally do before bed ~ just ridiculously exhausted ---
    I could say a lot -- a lot -- on the subject of anxiety, panic attacks, and IBS.  I could probably write a book ~ and I have thought about it.  I have a lot of books in my head, actually.  
    I have spent the last 18+ years - since the birth of our first son - actively researching, experimenting, theorizing, contemplating, reading, trying ... {fill in some more action verbs here ~ you get the idea}.
    With nutrition, I've been everywhere on the spectrum from SAD to carnivore.  I think the only thing I haven't done is vegan ... and I won't.  Not because I have such a strong love, craving, desire of meat ~ but because I know how much better I feel on a higher, meat-based, protein diet.  It's a personal truth, and one that is not going to change.
    ---
    But for today, I'll save the book.  There is one important thing I want to say, and it's taken me a really long time to get here:
    Love yourself for who you are.
    Don't dismiss that as some cheesy tagline.  Seriously.  Think about it.
    I almost shit my pants in the carwash with my husband yesterday.    Do you know how that could break someone ... just make them never want to leave the house again?
    But no.  NO.  I've been there, done that.  I am stronger than that.  Life is short, and I have a lot of things I want to accomplish.
    So laugh with me about that.  Because I'm smiling right now.  It's a new day ~ and I may have woken up feeling like poo ~ but I woke up.
  6. Thanks
    Brewer5 reacted to Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Sorry to hear this.  I can't understand what that feels like, but they have really affected my mom's life.  I'm really glad to hear you gave yourself time to relax and unwind. 
  7. Thanks
    Brewer5 reacted to Emma in Like an Onion   
    Panic attacks are horrible! I've only had a minor one when I thought I was stuck in a cave and I can still recall the speeding heartbeat and the changes in my body as I dealt with it. I have a friend who has them occasionally and I can certainly appreciate how exhausting and confusing they are for her. A stinkin' car wash - what a drag to have your day de-railed by something you didn't expect!!! The movie sounds wonderful - what did you see? And your final thought about the brain-gut connection - so true. And so hard to smooth it out!
  8. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to Emma in Like an Onion   
    It is a food-fog, isn't it! Reading your description resonated with me completely. Not the intense PMS part. I've never had that, but I am a good little trooper, handling everything calmly and pleasantly and just layering on more fog to keep things down.
    I love, love, love your analogies. Good for you for taking off that pack and doing some assessing of what really needs to be there. I, on the other hand, have a backpack that isn't closed up nor packed well. Crap is falling out or hanging on the sides. I'm like when you unpack at a hotel and then look around and wonder how all that sh-- ever fit in there. Haha - maybe I'm more similar than I realize, but I think you fold up your items more efficiently. I'm embarrassed about my trail of stuff.
    Good thing we're on this path! Glad the fog is lifting and you're able to see the view a bit better!!!
  9. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Emma in Like an Onion   
    Day 5 yesterday ~ and not much to report.  
    I'm not struggling through any cravings right now.  My family watched the Super Bowl and ate some junk ~ I didn't.  No big deal.  I don't get into football, and I have plenty of projects around here that need to be taken care of.
    The fog is lifting.  It has been all this time ... of course, it's not just these past 5 days.  There's a mental clarity that comes along, and as I talked about early on in this thread, it can be ugly.
    Around PMS time ... what I jokingly said here was "a little bit crazy-pants" ... was it?  Or was it me, actually showing real, true, raw emotion ... expressing feelings about things in my life that really do SUCK ... but I usually just put on my happy face, or my food-fog, and keep on trudging through like a good little trooper!
    It's fine that my husband {later} mentioned that he had thought to himself, "man, I thought she was just about over this", meaning: he had recognized that it was that time of the month, and that I was going to be extra-sensitive.  He felt that the PMS mood was both amplified and extended.  And perhaps it was.  As I said here -- my period did come earlier than usual.  And I felt like it crept up on me, big time, because I wasn't feeling all emotional and pissed-off prior to its appearance.
    What would not be fine is for anyone to completely disregard the things I said during that time.  Because I'm not crazy-pants, and all of those feelings were REAL.
    ---
    But currently, that fog lifting translates to:  I am taking care of things that have piled up around this house for years.  It's good.  Things are shaping up.
    The only "ugly" right now is looking back over these past few years and realizing how absolutely, positively, jam-packed my backpack has been ... weighing me down.  I have carried so much weight.  All by myself.  There were things in that backpack that no one but me could ever see.  I had strategically arranged them so that they all fit in there just right, and so ~ from the outside ~ I think it might have actually just looked like a normal backpack!  ...Apparently, I'm a really good packer.  
    ---
    Now, I have taken off the backpack.  I have set it down for a minute.  I have realized there was WAY too much stuff in it.  And I am deciding just what, exactly, gets to go back in.
  10. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Emma in Like an Onion   
    Day 5 yesterday ~ and not much to report.  
    I'm not struggling through any cravings right now.  My family watched the Super Bowl and ate some junk ~ I didn't.  No big deal.  I don't get into football, and I have plenty of projects around here that need to be taken care of.
    The fog is lifting.  It has been all this time ... of course, it's not just these past 5 days.  There's a mental clarity that comes along, and as I talked about early on in this thread, it can be ugly.
    Around PMS time ... what I jokingly said here was "a little bit crazy-pants" ... was it?  Or was it me, actually showing real, true, raw emotion ... expressing feelings about things in my life that really do SUCK ... but I usually just put on my happy face, or my food-fog, and keep on trudging through like a good little trooper!
    It's fine that my husband {later} mentioned that he had thought to himself, "man, I thought she was just about over this", meaning: he had recognized that it was that time of the month, and that I was going to be extra-sensitive.  He felt that the PMS mood was both amplified and extended.  And perhaps it was.  As I said here -- my period did come earlier than usual.  And I felt like it crept up on me, big time, because I wasn't feeling all emotional and pissed-off prior to its appearance.
    What would not be fine is for anyone to completely disregard the things I said during that time.  Because I'm not crazy-pants, and all of those feelings were REAL.
    ---
    But currently, that fog lifting translates to:  I am taking care of things that have piled up around this house for years.  It's good.  Things are shaping up.
    The only "ugly" right now is looking back over these past few years and realizing how absolutely, positively, jam-packed my backpack has been ... weighing me down.  I have carried so much weight.  All by myself.  There were things in that backpack that no one but me could ever see.  I had strategically arranged them so that they all fit in there just right, and so ~ from the outside ~ I think it might have actually just looked like a normal backpack!  ...Apparently, I'm a really good packer.  
    ---
    Now, I have taken off the backpack.  I have set it down for a minute.  I have realized there was WAY too much stuff in it.  And I am deciding just what, exactly, gets to go back in.
  11. Thanks
    Brewer5 reacted to BabyBear in Like an Onion   
    I’m so glad my simple message helped! Finding a place you feel wanted and cared for really does make a huge difference in all walks of life!  
  12. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to Emma in Like an Onion   
    I fell into a keto flow this last six months after my summer Whole30. It happened so naturally and easily and it felt really good. I bought a recipe book by a Whole30 author who also offered a Keto book and it was everything I was doing (but better). All the recipes were veggie based and healthy and nutritious and delicious. It's what I think of when I think of Keto, but I know that's not the case for many. I avoid the word because of all the weird connotations, but it was essentially how I found myself eating. And getting healthier!!! I don't think it's a coincidence at all that your Pap smears came back clear.
    I too really find the forums helpful and the connections with people really helpful - and fun.
    As for that first time excitement. I'm not feeling it this time at all. I'm really feeling like I'm just having to buckle down and slog along, but just like hiking, it will pay off if I just get off my arse.
  13. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Yes.  I 100% hear you on this.
    I managed one -- just straight up, Whole 30 in April 2014.  There was so much "new".  
    Our family had discovered Paleo, really got into it, and pretty much stuck with it since 2012 ... but this was different.  This was just me.  This was a solid 30 days.  And this gave me some hard lines not to cross.  
    Also -- the forum!  ...Oh, the glorious forum.  I made some real and lasting friendships here.  Three of them turned out to be nurses ... and no, I did not become a nurse because of them (in fact, one of them really strongly urged me not to do it, haha) but what a fantastic thing it was to have those ladies around the country, whom I could reach out to for support.  
    I managed another -- and I'd have to go back and look at the dates ... and to be honest, I just don't want to.  It feels like a lifetime ago.  Anyway ~ in that second successful Whole 30, I cut out all nuts and seeds.  That was a pretty huge deal for me.  And it went really well.  But you see what I'm saying ... it still had that element of "new" because I was putting a twist on it.
    Somewhere along the line, I discovered Keto -- this was WAY back, before it was cool, before it was everywhere, and when the majority of people still thought you were going to die.  Lol.  Well, I didn't die.  In fact, I felt really, really good ... and I thought I'd probably found my way of eating for life.  I spent a crap-ton of time reading books and doing research about Keto for cancer.  The abnormal Pap smears that had been plaguing me for years, causing me to have to go back for them every 6 months, have a biopsy of my cervix taken ( <-- okay, NOT fun), and have just a lot of underlying stress, anxiety, worry .............. YES, that all finally ENDED after I switched to a Keto diet.  Some will say: coincidence.  And to that I will say: bullshit.
    When we are down, and not on the best path, we don't like to think about the power of our choices.  It is an enormous responsibility, and many don't want it.  Aren't in a good place to handle it.
    But I felt good, and I was empowered.  This was not the first time -- not by a long shot -- that I had taken hold of the reins and turned a health condition around for myself or one of my family members or friends.  But it was by far the biggest.
    Still, Keto -- even at that time, before all of these new junk products and shit marketing came out -- could be pretty loosely defined and dirty.  
    So my third successful Whole 30 was my own version of Keto Whole 30.  It was not endorsed or supported by the Whole 30 staff, and I would venture to say I was not the most popular person on the forum at that time.  It was never my intention to de-rail anyone or discredit the program, which had brought me so much success and happiness.  I only wanted to share that within a Whole 30 we still each have unique needs.  Some may thrive on way higher-carb ... and some may thrive on way lower-carb ... and that's okay.  We are individuals, and there is no cookie-cutter.
    All of this to say:  Each of my successful Whole 30's had that first-time excitement ... or some degree of it.  And I also had the support of friends on the forum each time.  That is powerful.
    Even if you know there is ONE person out there in this big old crazy world who cares and is checking in with you ~ that can be huge.  The other day when I was feeling lost and frustrated, @BabyBear helped bring me back to my senses.
    So @Amy_Michigan ... I'm here for you.  And anyone else who wants to join in ~ please, feel free.  Just know that I'm not out there wandering around the forum these days, like I used to be.  So if I don't come and comment on your discussions, it certainly isn't because I don't care.  It's because I'm up to my crying, stinging eyeballs in my own onion right now.    That's all.
    I hope you all have a blessed, beautiful Sunday.  Let's make the most of it!
  14. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Yes.  I 100% hear you on this.
    I managed one -- just straight up, Whole 30 in April 2014.  There was so much "new".  
    Our family had discovered Paleo, really got into it, and pretty much stuck with it since 2012 ... but this was different.  This was just me.  This was a solid 30 days.  And this gave me some hard lines not to cross.  
    Also -- the forum!  ...Oh, the glorious forum.  I made some real and lasting friendships here.  Three of them turned out to be nurses ... and no, I did not become a nurse because of them (in fact, one of them really strongly urged me not to do it, haha) but what a fantastic thing it was to have those ladies around the country, whom I could reach out to for support.  
    I managed another -- and I'd have to go back and look at the dates ... and to be honest, I just don't want to.  It feels like a lifetime ago.  Anyway ~ in that second successful Whole 30, I cut out all nuts and seeds.  That was a pretty huge deal for me.  And it went really well.  But you see what I'm saying ... it still had that element of "new" because I was putting a twist on it.
    Somewhere along the line, I discovered Keto -- this was WAY back, before it was cool, before it was everywhere, and when the majority of people still thought you were going to die.  Lol.  Well, I didn't die.  In fact, I felt really, really good ... and I thought I'd probably found my way of eating for life.  I spent a crap-ton of time reading books and doing research about Keto for cancer.  The abnormal Pap smears that had been plaguing me for years, causing me to have to go back for them every 6 months, have a biopsy of my cervix taken ( <-- okay, NOT fun), and have just a lot of underlying stress, anxiety, worry .............. YES, that all finally ENDED after I switched to a Keto diet.  Some will say: coincidence.  And to that I will say: bullshit.
    When we are down, and not on the best path, we don't like to think about the power of our choices.  It is an enormous responsibility, and many don't want it.  Aren't in a good place to handle it.
    But I felt good, and I was empowered.  This was not the first time -- not by a long shot -- that I had taken hold of the reins and turned a health condition around for myself or one of my family members or friends.  But it was by far the biggest.
    Still, Keto -- even at that time, before all of these new junk products and shit marketing came out -- could be pretty loosely defined and dirty.  
    So my third successful Whole 30 was my own version of Keto Whole 30.  It was not endorsed or supported by the Whole 30 staff, and I would venture to say I was not the most popular person on the forum at that time.  It was never my intention to de-rail anyone or discredit the program, which had brought me so much success and happiness.  I only wanted to share that within a Whole 30 we still each have unique needs.  Some may thrive on way higher-carb ... and some may thrive on way lower-carb ... and that's okay.  We are individuals, and there is no cookie-cutter.
    All of this to say:  Each of my successful Whole 30's had that first-time excitement ... or some degree of it.  And I also had the support of friends on the forum each time.  That is powerful.
    Even if you know there is ONE person out there in this big old crazy world who cares and is checking in with you ~ that can be huge.  The other day when I was feeling lost and frustrated, @BabyBear helped bring me back to my senses.
    So @Amy_Michigan ... I'm here for you.  And anyone else who wants to join in ~ please, feel free.  Just know that I'm not out there wandering around the forum these days, like I used to be.  So if I don't come and comment on your discussions, it certainly isn't because I don't care.  It's because I'm up to my crying, stinging eyeballs in my own onion right now.    That's all.
    I hope you all have a blessed, beautiful Sunday.  Let's make the most of it!
  15. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Yes.  I 100% hear you on this.
    I managed one -- just straight up, Whole 30 in April 2014.  There was so much "new".  
    Our family had discovered Paleo, really got into it, and pretty much stuck with it since 2012 ... but this was different.  This was just me.  This was a solid 30 days.  And this gave me some hard lines not to cross.  
    Also -- the forum!  ...Oh, the glorious forum.  I made some real and lasting friendships here.  Three of them turned out to be nurses ... and no, I did not become a nurse because of them (in fact, one of them really strongly urged me not to do it, haha) but what a fantastic thing it was to have those ladies around the country, whom I could reach out to for support.  
    I managed another -- and I'd have to go back and look at the dates ... and to be honest, I just don't want to.  It feels like a lifetime ago.  Anyway ~ in that second successful Whole 30, I cut out all nuts and seeds.  That was a pretty huge deal for me.  And it went really well.  But you see what I'm saying ... it still had that element of "new" because I was putting a twist on it.
    Somewhere along the line, I discovered Keto -- this was WAY back, before it was cool, before it was everywhere, and when the majority of people still thought you were going to die.  Lol.  Well, I didn't die.  In fact, I felt really, really good ... and I thought I'd probably found my way of eating for life.  I spent a crap-ton of time reading books and doing research about Keto for cancer.  The abnormal Pap smears that had been plaguing me for years, causing me to have to go back for them every 6 months, have a biopsy of my cervix taken ( <-- okay, NOT fun), and have just a lot of underlying stress, anxiety, worry .............. YES, that all finally ENDED after I switched to a Keto diet.  Some will say: coincidence.  And to that I will say: bullshit.
    When we are down, and not on the best path, we don't like to think about the power of our choices.  It is an enormous responsibility, and many don't want it.  Aren't in a good place to handle it.
    But I felt good, and I was empowered.  This was not the first time -- not by a long shot -- that I had taken hold of the reins and turned a health condition around for myself or one of my family members or friends.  But it was by far the biggest.
    Still, Keto -- even at that time, before all of these new junk products and shit marketing came out -- could be pretty loosely defined and dirty.  
    So my third successful Whole 30 was my own version of Keto Whole 30.  It was not endorsed or supported by the Whole 30 staff, and I would venture to say I was not the most popular person on the forum at that time.  It was never my intention to de-rail anyone or discredit the program, which had brought me so much success and happiness.  I only wanted to share that within a Whole 30 we still each have unique needs.  Some may thrive on way higher-carb ... and some may thrive on way lower-carb ... and that's okay.  We are individuals, and there is no cookie-cutter.
    All of this to say:  Each of my successful Whole 30's had that first-time excitement ... or some degree of it.  And I also had the support of friends on the forum each time.  That is powerful.
    Even if you know there is ONE person out there in this big old crazy world who cares and is checking in with you ~ that can be huge.  The other day when I was feeling lost and frustrated, @BabyBear helped bring me back to my senses.
    So @Amy_Michigan ... I'm here for you.  And anyone else who wants to join in ~ please, feel free.  Just know that I'm not out there wandering around the forum these days, like I used to be.  So if I don't come and comment on your discussions, it certainly isn't because I don't care.  It's because I'm up to my crying, stinging eyeballs in my own onion right now.    That's all.
    I hope you all have a blessed, beautiful Sunday.  Let's make the most of it!
  16. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Sounds like a good plan not to get all obsessive over food because that can get stressful... To answer your question above, it isn't my first whole30 (I think my first one was 2014) and this might be my 3rd serious attempt.   Honestly, I find it gets harder every time I do it instead of easier because it always seems like I'm the most motivated when I have that first-time excitment.  I have had probably 4 or 5 attempts between 2014-2019 but I dont think I was using this forum...it's really hard to do a whole30 on your own without support.
    Anyway, I'm with Emma...totally going to steal your frozen whole30 meal idea for a backup option.  Just last night I was like...the only thing I have in the whole house I can eat for dinner is tuna and it was sad.  lol
  17. Like
    Brewer5 reacted to Emma in Like an Onion   
    That money thing is pretty powerful. I don't like to look at my spending at all, but I know my credit card statement must look so much different the last month when I started eating all things crappy again. Of course, eating healthy costs quite a bit, but it's all at the grocery store instead of eating out.
    And the family leader thing - oh my - same goes here. My kids eat better when I do. My family is just mentally healthier when I'm healthier. Yeah...no pressure. Haha.
    I have no desire to run errands tomorrow, but I think I might pop by Walmart and check out those frozen meals. I don't really want them, but it sure is good to have things at home and work that I can just have as a backup or during a moment when I'm feeling off.
    Congratulations on your Day 4!
  18. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 4 was a breeze ... but I'm not getting cocky about it.  I'm well aware that I am at that point in my cycle where I feel my best.  
    My husband and I had a brief talk today about this ... okay, I might have been a little crazy-pants with PMS this month.  It's hard to see when you're in it ... and so help me, if he had mentioned it at the time, I probably would have left his ass!  
    Anyway -- we went to Walmart again, so I could stock up on those frozen meals.  Man, those make life so much easier.  It's like having a personal W30 chef -- what the heck!  I will be much, much more likely to stick with the program if I know I can throw one of those in the microwave and have a hearty meal in ~5 minutes.  It has completely removed the excuses of not having the time/energy to cook, not wanting to think about food so much, etc.
  19. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    @Amy_Michigan ~ thank you for sharing your story.  I certainly wasn't trying to dig ... but since you were forthcoming with information, it helped direct my searches.  And I do understand much better now.
    I am really glad to hear that the plaquenil has been so successful in treating your symptoms.  That's great news.  AND, we learned in school about so many drugs that increase photosensitivity, so I wondered about that ~ but I was happy to read that plaquenil actually has the opposite effect ~ it is somewhat protective against the effects of UV radiation.  So that's pretty awesome.
    I'm glad you stopped in, and I hope you are feeling better soon.  Is this your first Whole 30?  I'm sorry, I really haven't ventured outside of my own little onion here.
  20. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    So I'm a big spreadsheet nerd ... I like data.
    Now that January is over, and the numbers are all crunched ~ I can report this NSV: 
    Over the previous 6 months (July-December) on average, we spent 44% of our food money at restaurants.
    In January, it was down to 20%.
    We didn't really spend less money -- but it wasn't more -- and I can guarantee the quality of nutrition was up for all of us.  I've said it here in the past, and I'll say it again ... I really am the leader, whether I want to be or not.  When I'm in a slump ~ the whole family starts sliding on that slippery slope.  
    ...No pressure or anything...   
  21. Thanks
    Brewer5 reacted to Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Since you were wondering, the UV light issue I have is lupus (SLE).  I’m supposed to avoid sun exposure like a vampire or risk a flare.  I get those sun protection rated long sleeve shirts for the summer and try to remember sunscreen everyday but I am bad at it.  My rheumatologist recommended not doing UV light therapy for SAD.  ☹️  Also, it seems like a bad idea to take sunny vacation or move to the south, but every day I just have to think in terms of risks vs rewards.  I probably would move if my depression was a lot worse.  Right now it’s just hard to show good work ethic and keep my job, but I’m trying my best!  It’s all anyone can do and I’m lucky that I am not suffering any lupus symptoms since starting medication (plaquenil) for it.  I’m in pretty good health besides this focus-killing mild depression.
  22. Sad
    Brewer5 reacted to Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    I feel like I could have written this entire post except I don't have any dogs (I want one but my husband says 2 kids are enough for us, lol).  I'm having a horrible time this winter where I have absolutely no energy to do anything most of the time and it's affecting my work negatively as well.  I'm a totally different person in the summer when there is more sunshine.  So I just wanted to say I'm here with you, totally relate to everything... I saw my doctor about if I have seasonal affective disorder, but she told me the only way to help me is refer a therapist or go on pills.  I can't do a UV light because of my autoimmune issues. I constantly think, how can I do this myself without pills, but I end up just taking it day by day.  Hoping for increased energy with healthier foods and some weight off my body.
  23. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Emma in Like an Onion   
    Thanks, @BabyBear ~ I had a new Day 1 today ... let's see how far I can go this time.
    One day of derailment really doesn't have to turn into weeks or months.  I like that I was able to correct the course today pretty effortlessly.  I've had enough small wins over the past few weeks ... it's motivated me to keep going forward, because I sure as hell don't want to go back.
  24. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    So I'm a big spreadsheet nerd ... I like data.
    Now that January is over, and the numbers are all crunched ~ I can report this NSV: 
    Over the previous 6 months (July-December) on average, we spent 44% of our food money at restaurants.
    In January, it was down to 20%.
    We didn't really spend less money -- but it wasn't more -- and I can guarantee the quality of nutrition was up for all of us.  I've said it here in the past, and I'll say it again ... I really am the leader, whether I want to be or not.  When I'm in a slump ~ the whole family starts sliding on that slippery slope.  
    ...No pressure or anything...   
  25. Like
    Brewer5 got a reaction from Amy_Michigan in Like an Onion   
    Day 4 yesterday was as far as I made it this time.    
    I think a big layer of this onion is simply not planning ahead.  I'm not going to make a bunch of excuses ... "I'm busy, blah, blah, blah"...  
    Yeah.  We're all busy.  It's called life.
    My boss texted me today and said she was getting Taco Bell for lunch, did I want anything?  And I said sure, I'll take a chicken power bowl.  Because all I had with me to last until dinnertime was black coffee, sparkling water, and freaking Larabars.  Today's layer of this onion was not social plans/pressure.  She did not care whether I ate Taco Bell or not, she was just being nice and offering.
    It really bothers me to say this about myself ... but have I just gotten lazy?  In the food department - yes, I think so.  
    I've always been happiest keeping it simple.  I really don't have any need or desire for elaborate recipes.  I can eat the same things over and over for days or weeks, and it's fine.  But this is different.  I'm not even managing to consistently get a decent amount of meat 2-3x day, and for me this is a red flag.
    I don't believe that anyone is just "lazy".  It's a symptom of not feeling good.  There are several things working against me right now:  #1 by far is WINTER.  I don't have words to describe how much I hate how I feel in the wintertime ... like a different person.  Lack of sunlight, circadian rhythm all thrown off, and lack of sleep -- these are all stressors.  Then add in the general stress of daily life.  Stress at work, stress at home ... financial stress, kid stress, husband stress, dog stress, nutrition stress.  Lol.  Did I mention stress?  
    But tomorrow is a new day.  And I'm a big girl ~ not a whine-ass.  So I will keep on keeping on.