"salad is not a food!"
wha-what? I still wonder what they think salad is.
One of my favorites was a vegetarian co-worker who was drinking a Diet coke and eating Fritos and a hostess cupcake told me that the grassfed steak on my salad would give me colon cancer. I looked at her lunch and then at mine and said "that is a risk I am willing to take."
The other one is: "Why should I deprive myself?"
My answer: "Why do you eat food that does not nourish your body?"
Their answer: "Because it tastes good!"
My reply: "If your car's gas tank had taste buds and demanded lemonade instead of gasoline, would you comply?"
Their answer: "Of course not! Cars cannot run on lemonade!"
My reply: "Exactly. Your body cannot run on frankenfood. One of these days, it's going to crap out."
Their answer: "My mother ate (insert crappy food here) and she lived to be 90."
My reply: "Good for her. You are not her."
Their answer: "Whatever."