hmg1993

@Dragonslayer That is an interesting idea.  I've got the same issue... sometimes I keep binge eating just because I started... not because I really want to keep going!  How stupid is that?!  But the "oh, I'll be good tomorrow" means I have to cram it all in.  Let us know how it goes.  
@hmg1993 Sounds like you've got a good plan in place.  Life is just easier with wine and cheese   I've been finding that it is easier lately to say no to the stuff I really don't agree with (mostly processed foods) because I truly think they are not compatible with health.  But it really isn't a good way to live to say no to the entire W30 list all the time.  I think coming up with rules that really matter to us are the key in the long run.  Like "I don't eat food coloring" or "refined sugar" or "nuts" or whatever.  

@Dragonslayer  As much as I think the integrity of a W30 and all 30 is important,  I do think it's called W30 for a reason in that we're not supposed to go beyond 30 days unless of course we feel like we need the extra days to address cravings.  What I have observed is that after a "perfect" W90 or so,  I got into a cycle of 4 "good days" and then binge .. back and forth.  My view now is that the binges were addressing the restrictions and stress of  meeting the program requirements.  I've relaxed things now to my own rules that enable a little diary (greek yogurt, some cheese), Oatmeal, quinoa, Almond Milk, and overall less label watching.  I still say no to sugar, wheat and nuts (the latter is just because it's zero brakes).  I also gave myself a wine allowance of three glasses a week, which I have yet to use any of but mentally having it there if i want to have a drink with a friend is so much better than feeling that I can't.  This approach seems more doable for me right now and is definitely controlling the binges because I don't have that all or nothing mindset......

@Dragonslayer  As much as I think the integrity of a W30 and all 30 is important,  I do think it's called W30 for a reason in that we're not supposed to go beyond 30 days unless of course we feel like we need the extra days to address cravings.  What I have observed is that after a "perfect" W90 or so,  I got into a cycle of 4 "good days" and then binge .. back and forth.  My view now is that the binges were addressing the restrictions and stress of  meeting the program requirements.  I've relaxed things now to my own rules that enable a little diary (greek yogurt, some cheese), Oatmeal, quinoa, Almond Milk, and overall less label watching.  I still say no to sugar, wheat and nuts (the latter is just because it's zero brakes).  I also gave myself a wine allowance of three glasses a week, which I have yet to use any of but mentally having it there if i want to have a drink with a friend is so much better than feeling that I can't.  This approach seems more doable for me right now and is definitely controlling the binges because I don't have that all or nothing mindset......

Made it  Enjoyed a pretty big glass of wine (the "small plate" thing is my go to for alcohol too... and it doesn't work - too many refills  So yesterday I got a big glass, filled it 75% of the way (probably 6-8 oz) and drank that).  Played with the kiddos and just avoided the food.  Got some snarky comments for saying no to giving the baby jello jigglers in the shape of eggs (WHY DO PEOPLE THINK 15 MONTH OLDS NEED RED #40, BLUE # 1, YELLOW #6 AND SUGAR?!) but besides that it was a lovely Easter dinner.  Well that isn't entirely true - I was pretty pissed off about the snarky comments so maybe I ended up in a little bit of a bad mood...
I hope both of you find some success with some weight loss - I've always found that just really sticking to the W30 is what does it - not just the "rules" but the recommendations - meal 1 early and substantial, no snacking, no after dinner "oh its mango and coconut milk and raisins" shit... then the weight comes off.  Never much, but I do usually find myself happy with the results because the body shape changes always seem more substantial than the number on the scale.
I think this is it for candy focused holidays for a while right...?  I can't even imagine what the stores will put into the seasonal aisle now?  Marshmallows I guess for smores?  

Happy weekend everyone!  I'm doing OK following my own version of W30 which is basically 80 percent rules plus a little dairy and oats and quinoa.  So far so good but the major focus now is trying to lose the weight I gained from all of the back and forth binging.  I don't know if you find this but every time is harder because I think somehow your metabolism gets messed up.  Do you think that's right or just theory? Anyway, I slog on because I know that for sure the alternative doesn't work!  Done that.  Hope you all have a lovely Easter or passover or whatever you celebrate.....
 
Dreaming about hot cross buns.  shan't have them though!

Congratulations @Dragonslayer on acing the 30!  Your next plan sounds terrific and is a great goal.  You're inspiring me to keep chugging away as my downfall is completely the kitchen graze.  I am trying to nail three meals plus a snack -- but a scheduled healthy one as opposed to sticking my head in the fridge.  And no buying myself nuts because I am hungry.  Nine out of 10 times I am hangry or stressed and stuffing my face is not the answer.  You are absolutely progressing and reminding me that I can do it too.  Thank you so much!

@Dragonslayer Go you!  So happy to read such an upbeat post!  Sounds like you've got a great plan for the next 100 days!  And you are going to have some kick ass triceps to boot   I hope you send us some wedding pictures in a few months!
@hmg1993 I totally agree about the things it turns out we don't "need"... I used to eat chocolate every.single.night (it was actually what prompted me to do a W30 a few years ago - doing "paleo" I was eating an 85% Lindt bar every night after dinner... not good).  But I thought I couldn't live without it.  I can't tell you the last time I had chocolate at night.  I posted on here a while ago about eating it again and that lasted a week or so - turns out I don't really enjoy eating on a daily basis.  
Things here are ok.  Humming along.  Fruit munchies after dinner need a little reigning in from time to time but besides that all is good!  Time change has finally gotten dinner time to have a distinct end because little guy has his bath and then nurses because he goes to bed at 7 instead of 6 and it is really helping!  Just by getting away from the darn kitchen I can shut off the "must keep eating" feelings.  Interestingly, now I can even come back down after his bath and stuff and sit at the dining room table and have my cup of magnesium and not feel compelled to shove more food in my pie hole.  Crazy.
 

Good morning! Just a quick check in. I have less than a week left until 30 days! Truly amazing for me. Despite the compliant binges, I am so proud of myself. This morning i have a real sense of gratitude and feeling of hope for my future. My plan is to finish out this week making small changes to plan for the next 30. I want to now work on getting rid of these compliant binges, and i know the key will be to eliminate the problem foods... fruit, nuts, potatoes. I haven’t done it yet bc it seems so hard and sad (mostly my favorite foods right now!), but for my next 30, they will be gone. I will focus on a practice of 4 meals a day, no snacks (unless it’s a much needed exercise induced starving moment from skiing or something) and most importantly, no snacking before or after dinner, the ultimate challenge. I feel good about this next step. It will be my hardest challenge yet, basically trying to do a “true” Whole30, but with even more restrictions. I’m considering adding in occasional beans or rice if I really feel the need for more carbs, but I am leaning towards not doing that. We will see. Maybe just let myself have them when eating out, but honestly I don’t ever crave them at all. 
I’m excited and looking forward to continuing down this Whole30 road for a while, until I feel more mentally in control and truly have the Tiger blood, cause I’m definitely not there yet. 
Hope you guys are still doing well! 

@littleg thanks for the advice/update. I’m gonna check out that other thread after this! And those rules are very similar to mine I’m trying to follow through this Whole30 and beyond as well. Most importantly is the no munching before or after dinner. That is currently my only (but major) issue. It’s day 20 for me! Truly amazing and I’m so happy about it... BUT since yesterday morning I have had the most intense headache and can’t figure out why. I did have quite a few binges over the past week so I’m wondering if my body is just still overloaded and now kind of detoxing back to normal. Could be way too much intake of fat over the days as well. All the nuts, coconut, etc. I know having too much fat has caused headaches before for me, so that’s a possibility. But could also be because one of my binges the other day was very sugary. For the first time in a long time I caved and had a bunch of dried fruit, an rx bar, and potatoes and other fruits, so maybe I’m recovering from the sugar rush as well. Either way, it sucks, and I’m being very careful about what I consume for a few days to try and get back to feeling good. 
But as for the fruit nuts and potatoes in the house, I’ve done great not having nuts. That’s key I have learned. Fruit and potatoes is hard though because my fiancé eats those a lot so he’s not really ok with not having them around. So I’ll try and just do my best, but just not having nuts has seemed to make a huge difference for the past few days so I will make sure to keep those away! 
I have baby steps planned for my next stages of Whole30. I plan to do it until I feel in control and ready to make some reintroductions. Which could take a while, but I’m ok with that. Mostly though I’m working on eating 4 meals with no snacking before or after (goes well for everything except dinner usually), and then not turning to fruit nuts or potatoes when I get bingey. All in all, I think I’m making slow improvements and my mental strength and stability is increasing which is good. 

Have you guys looked at the other thread on here about struggling post W30 - @ladyshanny had some good ideas in there about "rules" for FFF...  Since finishing our W30 a month ago I've stuck with W30 food choices 99% of the time but I'm definitely slipping back into old habits... first meal of the day at 11,12, 1 o'clock, back and forth to the fridge after dinner for fruit, eating crappy cheese at my in-laws just because it is there - stupid shit.  So, reading over that other thread I think that having some "rules" going forward are a good idea.  I don't know why it seems different to me this time - I think because in the past I always thought the idea of a WholeLittleg was what foods were compliant - much like the real W30, instead of looking more at their recommendations for the W30 as the things I needed to be rules.  I already know my food sensitivities and there really aren't any food groups (besides nuts) that I really need to be careful of.  But what makes me *feel* better are sticking to the recommendations - early breakfast and not munching after  dinner.  So, I'm going to give that a try for a bit.  A WLittleg that has two rules - eat meal 1 early, don't eat before (this means specifically don't eat a bag of baby carrots...) or after dinner, kitchen is closed after dinner.  We are changing around baby's bedtime with the time change.  Currently he goes to sleep before we eat dinner.  We are going to start eating with him and then putting him down after dinner.  I'm really hoping that getting up from the table and being distracted will help a bit with the post dinner munching.  Last night we ended up doing this and it was easy - but it is always easy the first time you try it  Dinner was *not* relaxing though - I'll say that much  Which maybe is good - it takes a little of the "reward for making it through the day" out of dinner.  I also ate breakfast at 6:45 AM this morning - about 4 hours earlier than normal!  Plan is to eat lunch around 12 and then dinner with the little guy around 5:30.  So shifting everything up a bit.  I may spend a ton of money on kombucha as a crutch for this transition but if it works it will be worth it!  Anyway, those are my ramblings for this morning.  
@hmg1993 I assume you are shoveling out as well this morning...?  I think the snow depth is higher than the little guy at this point!
@Dragonslayer What have you decided on the nuts, taters and fruit?  

@Dragonslayer Yeah, I'd tend to think they need to go.  My nemesis is dried fruit - and I just can't keep it around.  If I'm not in full blown binge mode and think I can have just a handful... I really can't.  So, no dried fruit.  Alcoholics rarely do well with just one drink and I think for us, some of these foods really fall into the same category.  
Are you eating enough in general?  I know my binges get worse when I undereat.  My urges also decrease the most when I eat a big breakfast.  The safety net of "oh, I haven't eaten much today" goes away.  Are you eating enough early in the day?  Even if you think you are could you try eating a little more in the morning and see if that helps?  
My last thought would be to get back into that pattern work you were doing early on.  With all the stress for you the last few months I am sure that the [stress-->eat] neuronal pathway in your brain has been on ALL.THE.TIME.  Understandably.  It may be time to remind your brain it has other options for feeling good and the first way to do that is to consciously not give into the urge.  Maybe do 30 burpees before you decide to eat nuts, potatoes or fruit when it isn't part of a meal  

Hi guys!  Glad to see some posts  Sounds like we are all just sort of humming along - doing our best.  I've been legit-binge free since Christmas.  I've had a few days of way too much dried fruit - but no drive from store to store type events in 2 months now.  I've been feeling more urge-y lately though in the evenings - not sure why.  I'm eating lots of clementines but that is way better than what I could be eating after dinner!  
That recipe looks good @hmg1993 - we'll have to try it!
@Dragonslayer Yes, we use MCT oil.  I use it for mayo because it is totally neutral tasting.  No BPC for me.  I've been into Nutpods lately for my coffee!  Vitacost has the best price around that I've found - cheaper than Thrive even.  I think I have 4 jars in the pantry right now... 

Hi everyone.  Checking in to see how you all are?  I am chugging along.  Binging under control and making healthy choices but it truly is the proverbial one day at a time.  I keep having to mutter "Rome wasn't built in a day" to myself and try to suppress the mean girl thoughts that invariably come up.  I cannot escape the fact that I have gained weight over the past year or so from the on/off yoyo fest.  And it doesn't make me happy.  But unlike my usual trick of  restricting calories and beating myself up I am trying to eat intuitively, watch portions (i.e. just because sweet potatoes are healthy doesn't mean that 4 cups are a good side dish!) and exercise.  The rest should solve itself and will stay off if I do it slowly.  
Off to grocery shop for the week shortly and then to tackle all the weekend chores.  Have you been watching the Olympics?  Loved to see the skiing even if I can't do it!  

Hi everyone.  Great to hear your updates.  @Dragonslayer, your soup sounds just what the doctor ordered.  @littleg  Congrats on the move and new house.  You're the second person who has highlighted Bret Contreras so I definitely need to check him out.  I really want to start lifting heavier weights.
Food freedom is interesting.  I've toggled between too much discipline and then extreme stick my head in the fridge.  The answer lies in the middle and that is what I am working on.  One day at a time.  My middle zone means mostly W30 with a little dairy.  Weirdly I have no desire to add back legumes or bread.  What I need to work on is that the answer to my disordered eating is with me and I have the tools to change it.  So far I feel like I am making slow but sure progress.
A lot of snow here today but then in the 60s next week.  Looking forward to some warmer temperatures!  In anticipation of warmer weather we made the best chicken skewers last night adapted from Mel Joulwan's shashlik recipe.  It's W30 compliant and I have tons of left overs for lunches.  Here's what I did
Cut about 3lb skinless boneless chicken breast into chunks.  Put in a bowl and add in half a cup of plain soda water or seltzer, juice of a lime, 2 bay leaves, tablespoon of smoked paprika, teaspoon each of cumin, coriander and salt.  Then add in a bunch of fresh tarragon.  Stir and cover in fridge for minimum of 2 hours.  Thread onto skewers and grill.  
Have a  great rest of weekend!

Welcome home @Dragonslayer.  It sounds like you have an incredible support network.  On the wedding front, do you ever look at 100layercake.com?  They have gorgeous ideas.  
It's a sleepy Sunday here. Just managed to stir myself to go to exercise class and now about to tackle weekly meal prep.  Roasting veggies for lunch and making chicken Marbella which is a big favorite, and incredibly easy.  Full disclosure, I am not W30 right now.  I am trying a Whole Me, which is 75% W30 and then some freedom around the edges for things like oatmeal or almond milk or a little dairy.  I would like to lose some weight and need to have options beyond nuts to stick my beak into!  Taking it day by day but so far so good....... Maybe it's food freedom but not sure!
 
 

Welcome home @Dragonslayer.  It sounds like you have an incredible support network.  On the wedding front, do you ever look at 100layercake.com?  They have gorgeous ideas.  
It's a sleepy Sunday here. Just managed to stir myself to go to exercise class and now about to tackle weekly meal prep.  Roasting veggies for lunch and making chicken Marbella which is a big favorite, and incredibly easy.  Full disclosure, I am not W30 right now.  I am trying a Whole Me, which is 75% W30 and then some freedom around the edges for things like oatmeal or almond milk or a little dairy.  I would like to lose some weight and need to have options beyond nuts to stick my beak into!  Taking it day by day but so far so good....... Maybe it's food freedom but not sure!
 
 

@hmg1993 that sounds good! I never use fresh tarragon but love it. Will try soon!
@littleg yes I was shocked. The doctor at his local hospital told him he needed surgery to completely remove it. He went for a second opinion at Duke University to a very well known doctor, and they said they are experimenting with nutritional recovery methods as much as possible right now before trying chemo, etc. So he’s doing it as part of a research trial. It’s so awesome in my opinion. Definitely encouraging to hear that some doctors are slowly getting on board and recognizing the importance of nutrition in healthcare. 
I’m still in the mountains, just taking it day by day. My fiancé gets here tomorrow, and more family arriving this weekend. It’s an unexplainable relaxed feeling in our house. I think because we are all able to support each other and get through this together, and we have had this week to really let it settle in our minds and work through the emotions. My other aunt arrived also who is just as passionate about being healthy as me which is so nice. She follows Dr Hymans “eat fat get thin” program which is very similar to Whole30, so having her here now is amazing bc she cooks, cleans, and is really focusing on keeping us all healthy and hiding all the cakes and pies! I’ve been working out the past few days which helped my mood a lot, and I plan to make a good dinner for everyone tonight. Not sure what yet but I’ll post what I come up with. 

@Dragonslayer  That's so amazing and not surprising that the medical community is getting on board.  Great too to have allies around you,  It's like a big hug.  
I am still in a funk but continuing to fight my way out. I feel like I have a case of the worst PMS although I am perimenopausal so its any guess when the "M" in that acronym will appear.  I am thinking I will truck on fighting the binge urge until the start of lent and then use that period to do a really solid W30, ergo three template meals and no snacking.  From there it's on to my version of food freedom after a reintroduction period.  I am so inspired by everyone on this board and am determined that this is the year i will conquer this dragon.
 
 

I feel the same way @hmg1993. Determination and refusing to give up until I conquer it. No matter the ups and downs. Fight through the emotions. They will subside eventually. You got this! 

@hmg1993 sounds like you’re getting back into a good mindset! Small steps are best. Your doing awesome! 
Spending time with family has been so nice and really good for all of us mentally. The support is amazing and although it’s so hard watching this process, it’s much better than the guilty feeling of being so far away. After the first day of initial shock (and cinnamon cake) I have quickly settled in and come to accept what is happening. And once again reminded that exercising and eating healthy are so helpful in keeping my mood up. 
I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. Haven’t figured out what that is with my mom yet, but did feel the “Whole30 is meant to be” last night. My aunt and uncle came to visit for the day and he found out a while ago that he has prostate cancer. We thought he was going in for surgery this week to have it removed, and then yesterday he arrived with very different news. His words... “you will never believe this. Instead of taking it out, they told me they want me to go on some crazy diet called Whole30 for 6 months and they think it’s gonna like make it go away! I don’t understand at all, but I’ll tell you what, it’s only day 2 and if someone doesn’t take away that cinnamon cake on your counter soon I’m gonna get violent!” They didn’t know about my history with Whole30 at all, and as soon as I told them I was like the stars aligned. My aunt was thrilled bc she is doing it with him and is at a complete loss for what to do. They haven’t done research yet or prepped or anything, just went with what the doctor told them about basics so far. And these people are Deep South sweet tea with biscuits and gravy people to the core. I told her about the books, how I can help, and she asked for as many family members to join them for support. I almost teared up. My dad and brother haven’t agreed yet (they were eating lays and onion dip during this convo), but I told them although I’ve been struggling lately, I will try my very hardest to stick with it for him this time. Our talk was pretty hilarious all night (deep southern accents... “now darlin I’ve heard of diets like weight watchers and such, but what in the lords name is this “paleo”? Like dinosaur food or somethin?”) I did a lot of explaining and it felt good to help them understand and see the reasoning behind the doctors ideas. 
Anyways, as per my aunt and uncles request this time, it’s day 2 for me. I told her a little about my emotional eating issues lately so I don’t put an immense amount of pressure on myself to be perfect, but it does feel a little different doing it for someone else and not me. So we will see how I do for the rest of the week. It’s certainly easier though with them around bc it encourages everyone to eat Whole30 together when they are here which is amazing. Anyways, crazy news that was very uplifting for me and made me realize that I do need to continue doing the best I can and not give up bc obviously there is something more to this eating plan than many people realize. If doctors are trying to cure his cancer with this, I’m totally inspired and will continue to swear by it. I hope Melissa knows that shifts in treatment like this are occuring now, and I am so eager to see the results after 6 months. I hope so much that it works. 
Anyways, sorry for the long rant. It was just crazy to find that out last night. I have no idea what day it is today bc I’m losing track of time being here, but I hope everyone has a great day. 

@Dragonslayer  Thinking of you this week and sending hugs.  I am sure it will give your mama so much comfort to see you married.
 
Thank you to you and @littleg for your support.  I've crawled back out and am figuring out next steps.  One day at a time is the short term answer.  Trying out a new sheet pan recipe this week and will post if it's a success!

Neither of us gave you kudos for this though!  Shame on us!  Don't undervalue the importance of this improvement because the post-binge-shit-tinted-glasses might make it hard to see right now.

@hmg1993 well that’s good news! Your still doing so awesome and I’m so wishing I could just rub the magic lamp and be at the point you are at now with food... but I know the learning process is important and I sure am learning a lot lately.
we went to happy hour last night instead of making food. It was a freezing hard day at work and warm comfort food was needed. Literally the only thing compliant for me was a side salad with salmon that was basically 5 bites and I finished it in about 1.5 minutes. Everyone else got pizza. I had a glass of wine that I probably drank too quickly, and then told my fiancé I was still hungry and that the pizza looked so good. He said, “just eat it. I’ll watch you tonight. It just counts as your one meal. Just don’t eat the whole pizza.” I immediately agreed and ate 2 large slices. The rest of the night was so incredibly hard. Like borderline panic attack and I felt like a cocaine addict hard. But he was there watching me like a hawk which was amazing. I would go in the other room and he would say “ what are you doing and do you have food with you?!” I never ended up eating anything for the rest of the night which is truly a miracle for me. We talked it out for a while and although I don’t want to eat things like that on a regular basis, I guess it is good practice to have something on a special occasion like a restaurant and then try my hardest to not have anything else afterwards. I learned a lot last night and it felt great to go to bed not regretting a binge and knowing I ate something I normally would lose control with.
 I’m Still going to eat Whole30 as much as possible, practice this meal on a plate thing religiously, and avoid refined sugar like the plague, but maybe every few weeks I’ll try and do something like last night again with him knowing so I can be watched and just keep practicing. (Although I would like the choices to be gluten free, so maybe next time just dairy, or rice, or something along those lines.) I dunno, still feeling all this out. But I am really thinking the meal on a plate thing is working and what I need to focus on mostly right now. Regardless of what the food is. So I’m just gonna roll with it! 

@littleg  here you go!  More later 
 
 

@littleg Both Chemex and IP were ordered together!  Can't wait.  And my husband is warming up to the idea so that's a win!!