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  1. Hello! My my name is Maria. Summary: My goal is food freedom and fat loss. Last 2 years I was a bikini competitor (bodybuilding) and I quit because I was really unbalanced in every way with my diets and overtraining. I've been 100% complaint I'm in day 13 now I exercise 6 to 7 days a week (4 weights and 3 days of 1 hour of intense cardio) I follow the template and recommendations I've been eating healthy for years I haven't felt a difference except headache, bloating and WEIGHT GAIN :(... I'm freaked out.... This is my story: (please guide me I'd really appreciate the help) I started the whole30 to be honest because of 2 main reasons, loose bodyfat and food freedom. I'm in day 13 today and I have gained so much weight that my shorts are SOO tight I cannot wear them anymore. For me this is Big and I'm really frustrated... I feel nothing is working on my body... And I've been feeling so stuck, and tryed sooo many things... I'm really sad and confused... I feel I have no clue and I'm becoming desperate by now... The thing is... For the last 2 years also I've been a bikini competitor. I consider myself a "nerd"... Or overachiever and I'm very disciplined, so I do always things by the book and have a lot of will power. Although I looked better than ever and I was a champion and my carrear was ramping up like crazy in this which I considered a hobbie I decided to stop because of how unhappy I was while doing this.... You see, Since I started dieting for competitions my hormones went crazy even leaving me without my period for 6 months one time, and the psicological effects of competing for me where devastating, to a point where I was really questioning my own existence, and that's when my partner who was suffering my depression and mood swings also, and me, decided to quit our diets and competitions. The negative effects of competing and taking all the suplements, shakes and fat burners for bodybuilding for me where amongst others: -depression, obsession with food and my body, loss of self confidence and self esteem, extreme mood swings -extreme cravings for things I've never craved before, crazy weigh gain after my competitions, hungry all the time (so much that I could not sustain my diets any more) -developed an intolerance to dairy, eggs and other food and a really low intestinal movement wich made me constipated so much that I was bloated ALL the time. So....Most of the last 2 years I've avoided alcohol, sugar and baked or processed foods (besides quest bars and protein shakes)... And it's been impossible for me until now to sustain a fit look, every time I binge back it's worse. I'm used to excersice 6 to 7 days a week combining intense or heavy weights with hiit with cardio. I stoped the weight for the last 2 months and got into a vegan diet combined with 5 to 6 days of intense cardio after my last binge... Because I even stoped enjoying the gym... But now with starting the whole 30 I came back again and I'm really over that, I'm enjoying the weight a lot again... (My last competition was this March 2016) From January 2015 until now I lost 15 pounds in 10 months, gained them back in 2 months, lost them again in 10 weeks and gained even more in the following 4 months (going up and down in this last 4 and ending up where I'm now, worse than Jan 2015... And really confused) my height is just 1.57 m so weight is easy to be noticed in my height. I love nutrition and to learn but right now I'm overwhelmed with learning and nothing seems to be a sustainable way to eat, feel and look good. I either feel or look, never both... So, I don't know if I'm eating too much although I'm following the template and I'm eating just 3 times plus post workout, I've been sleeping 7 to 8 hours, I always drink water, I retired from work young (I'm 32 years young) so I'm not stressed or running and I'm reading the book for the second time....I'm freaked out because I really don't know how to be healthier or if I even don't want to be and prefer to be fit... Because it seems not possible to me to do both. Id really appreciate your support, I don't know if I'm a weird case but I do feel like I need help to figure this out... Thank you