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mdbarry10 posted a topic in Travel and Dining OutTomorrow is day 9 for me and all is going really well. A few of our friends have group dinners every other week and we all rotate cooking. Next dinner is tomorrow and it’s not our turn this time around (luckily it will be in 2 weeks on day 23), so we aren’t in control of what is made for dinner. Knowing we are doing Whole30, the host this week said she would make tacos so that we can partake in dinner, though despite her efforts, I know it is hard to even find compliant taco seasoning and I doubt the meal will actually end up being compliant. So, do I: a) Go to dinner, turn a blind eye to seasoning ingredients, and eat what is provided as long as it isn’t obviously noncompliant, b ) Go to dinner and ask what the ingredients of everything is and risk telling her that after all her efforts to make something for us, “Sorry, I can’t have the dinner you made,” c) Secretly eat some dinner at home before going over and then only nibble on what is provided that is in the clear, or d) Bail and not go, making dinner for myself at home? If she wasn’t making an effort, I would simply bring my own dinner and have what I could when I got there, but now it feels rude to show up and not eat anything since she is catering to us. I know she means well, but I'd almost rather her do her own thing and we'll figure dinner out ourselves. If this was post-Whole 30, I would use this as a treat and not mind having noncompliant taco seasoning, but I’m in the middle of it right now. No cheats, no slips. Those are the rules. How do you handle situations like this without being rude?
ejulian posted a topic in Off track/Staying on trackHello! Let me give a brief bit of history about myself: 33, paleoish since spring 2013, 2 Whole30s completed, & that's how I eat most of the time, with the exception of occasional "paleo treats" or fruit as dessert when I'm not Whole30ing! I began a weight loss journey in the summer of 2012, the first time I really counted calories. I'd been a vegetarian for over a decade at that point, and I lost about 40 pounds through running & restricting what I ate. Unfortunately, I think that the "dieting" left me with a restriction mindset that leads me to binge eat... I probably don't do it often enough or intensely enough to qualify as having BED, but it's a problem for ME. I've been reading Brain Over Binge & a lot of it really resonates with me. Here's my question, then, and I hope this is the right place to ask it... is there anyone out there in a similar situation, or who's been through a similar situation, who would like to buddy up with me to offer support to each other?? I've resolved to make this new month the time when I really turn things around for myself, and having a friend to go to for ideas, encouragement, and accountability would be awesome! Thanks for reading :-)
I was a vegetarian for over 11 years, but since the spring have been eating paleo. I have been having trouble with a vegetarian friend's behavior recently and could use some advice. This friend and I have known each other at least a year now, maybe even two. We met at our CrossFit gym and had an initial connection because we were both vegetarians at the time and love animals. We have been friends on Facebook for quite some time, until a few months ago. Before ever switching to paleo, I had been posting paleo articles on my personal Facebook page and on my Facebook health and wellness page. For over a year, before switching, I did research on the paleo diet. Our box did its first paleo challenge this time last year and before that, my family had been experimenting with paleo (with great results!) Some time in the fall, this friend replied to a paleo-related post on my personal Facebook page asking if I had started eating paleo too. I replied that after researching it for over a year, I had switched to paleo, but that I only eat animals who have been humanely raised. Shortly after this I noticed that we were no longer friends on Facebook. I sent her a friend request (as I know sometimes people accidentally unfriend others, I've done it myself!). For at least two months, she did not respond to my request. Finally, about a month ago, I resent the request and she accepted it. Yesterday, I noticed that she was no longer a fan of my health and wellness Facebook page, so I invited her to like it. She replied with: "Thanks for the invite Sara, but I must decline. It represents a dietary lifestyle that goes against my moral ethics and value for ALL life." My health and wellness page does not only cover paleo. I encourage postings of various healthy diets. (I respond to her as such.) I also often post about animal welfare and non-diet related topics. I rarely see this friend at the gym anymore so we've not had good lines for communication lately. I appreciate and value all life (the main reason I became a vegetarian). This is also one of my favorite aspects of paleo and Whole9. It teaches you to live your life and respect the lives of others. Before switching to paleo and discovering the Whole9, I struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and eating and skin disorders. I was on antidepressants, steroid creams for my skin, and was simply not happy. Would it have been better for me to remain a vegetarian and encourage the use of products that surely were tested on animals and developed through their abuse? Or is it better that I now am healthy and happy because I consume healthy animals who lived happy, full (I don't eat baby animals) lives? I think my friend feels betrayed and I can understand, but I don't believe she treats others this way. What should I do (if anything at all)?
I'm very frustrated and trying to stay calm and understanding... I'm used to dealing with people making negative comments on my food choices, my exercise routine, my bicycle commute to work, etc. What I didn't expect was a good friend and co-worker, who more or less accepts my food choices with minimal mockery, would seriously freak out on me for not drinking alcohol! I went to a social event recently with several friends/co-workers and my live-in Whole30 supportive beau. The event centers on sampling some alcohol and being able to purchase cans of beer while walking around our local (small) zoo. There is live music and it's a great time at the zoo with an 18 and over crowd. I didn't drink that night because I was 7 days into my first Whole30. Everyone else did. Alcohol isn't a big temptation to me and I enjoy this event, so I didn't think twice about still going. I should also explain that even though I've considered myself "primal" for the past 2 years, I did still have wine, craft beer, and vodka tonics on occasion. Maybe once per week, sometimes 2x/week but not again for 3 weeks, etc. Very random and social, not regularly. So, back to the outing. The first time my group bought cans of beer, a couple people unaware of my eating/drinking habits, politely said "hey, you didn't get a drink; lemme get you a beer." I declined, said I was experimenting with an elimination diet, and conversation moved to a new topic. Cool, no judgment. Not so cool, was my very good friend and co-worker basically mocking me and asking several times "what is wrong with you!? why can't you just have fun?" I was caught off-guard, especially considering we're close and she knows my eating patterns. I awkwardly said "why does there have to be something wrong with me? I'm actually having a great time, do I seem like I'm not?" She responds that she didn't mean it like that (um, how DID you mean it) and that I just didn't need to be doing this in the summer. I didn't continue the line of conversation and went back to having a great time (errr... I think. lol). I was mildly disapointed my beau said nothing at all. He also works at the same company and knows this gal very well. Other than that, all was fine and proceeded as any normal evening out with good friends. The same "good friend" parked next to my beau and I - on our walk back to the car, she started in again the moment we parted from the rest of the group. She continued on with "why doyou have to be so weird?" Claiming she just wanted me to have fun and I shouldn't be denying myself things. She tried making a deal, saying she would be supportive - if I started this ridiculousness in September (it's end of June). I didn't say much as I was in shock this was happening. I've had people get weird on me before about declining beer, as though my not drinking - and not saying a damn word about it or the fact they are drinking - makes them TERRIBLY uncomfortable. Previously this happened with my sand volleyball team, so I didn't play on their team this year. This was a good friend and co-worker I see frequently at work... I wasn't going to just remove myself from her vicinity and criticism, as I did with the volley ball group, if this was going to be her new way to interact with me. I finally and firmly said "look it's only for 30 days, and then I'll drink a beer if I feel like it. I'm doing this right now for me. besides, you know I only like craft beer and don't drink that much anyway." (they only offered Bud, Bud light, Miller lite, etc) She wanted assurance that I would still be social with other people drinking and said I was making her sad. WTF? Who is the one acting ridiculous and uncomfortable here?! I honestly fail to see why this is a big deal. The ONLY difference is that I don't have a drink in my hand. I didn't do, say, or act any differently than I would have any other time. I don't even bring up that I'm not drinking unless someone insists on getting me one. I don't gloat. I don't make comments about them drinking. I'd sometimes forget about it altogether until someone mentions it. I do realize I went to an event that was set up to basically be an outdoor bar with animals and musicâ€¦ but can't I be there too? Do I have to drink alcohol to be there?! That's silly - it's just a non-issue. Well, for me. So, fellow primal/paleo/whole30 peeps. What gives? I'm sure we've all dealt with unsupportive, even downright rude comments for our choices. Have you ever had someone actually get upset and more or less try to start an argument with you about it? How do you deal with the more hostile comments and reactions? Is it worse here because I'm surrounded by corn and corn industry in my state and wheat/dairy in my adjacent states?! lol I was also a bit annoyed that my beau, responded with "she was just giving you a hard time" to my comment, "sheesh! what was up with _______ riding my ass like that tonight?" Do you catch more flak for declining food items or alcohol? Megan - Iowa