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Backstory: I'm currently on my 4th round of whole 30, rounds 3 and 4 have ben *almost* back to back (2 weeks off). First two rounds taught me a lot but habits didn't stick. I keep trying, though, because I feel that I'm on the cusp of a healthy revolution for my self. I feel so so close, and hope that this round is where I really can apply this better in my everyday life when off whole30. I am a freelance musician, don't work regular hours, drive/commute a lot, and all around have a super weird schedule which makes the meal planning part stressful but with my current chaotic life, if I'm not whole30-ing, I won't eat well. Period. Other backstory: My roommate has done several whole30's over the years, one of which we did together about a year ago (and before I knew the rules well....we totally did SWYPO that round). A few months after that round, she started working with a friend who is her health coach of sorts, and she has lost like 60 lbs over the course of 9 months. She looks amazing. She also has a lot more time to devote to her health, given that she has a 9-5/paid vacation/etc. She said she is glad she did the whole30 but doesn't ever want to do it again. Her diet is 'moderation,' which truly varies depending on the day, can include lots of veggies and proteins and good stuff, or could be lean cuisines/other not-very-clean prepared food. I totally respect that everyone has their own journey to find good health and their definition of food freedom. I do. The thing is, I don't think my roommate gets it. Every time I say I'm struggling with staying on track, especially if it's related to being so busy, she starts up her spiel on moderation AGAIN. I have tried time and time again to say, "yeah, that won't work for me." I know that she is trying to be helpful. She sees me struggling, she sees that I want to be as healthy as her, and wants me to find my way to get there. Tonight she started telling me that she likes her food lifestyle because it gives her more options for on-the-go/when she needs food fast. I tried her way. I have articulated to her that I tried her way. In all honesty, the harder I tried for "moderation," the worse I ate. It just hasn't been a good option for me. Prior to my round 3, I was eating with total shame every night when I came home from a stressful day. I can't say fully since I have not seen a doctor, but I do think I was/am borderline binge eating disorder. I feel too, that I have a pretty strong, addictive personality. Most things in my life are very all-or-nothing-at-all. I've always been careful with certain things because I know I could easily be obsessed to an unhealthy degree if I'm not careful. I was reading in the first chapter of Food Freedom how for most people, black-and-white rules work best. I really resonated with this. I am the one who became a binge eater from trying to eat in moderation, and my roommate is one of the very few people out there who got it down. I guess I'm just curious as to what articles and research there is out there that supports Melissa's statement on this. I don't necessarily think throwing some articles at my roommate will help, but at the very least I'd like to understand why the black-and-white thing works best for most people, and why I know that it's the only way for me. Anyone have insight? Or, you know, tips as to how I can get this subject dropped once and for all? I feel like every time she brings it up it just makes me feel defeated. Like, I haven't had a huge transformation moment from whole30 yet so how can I stand my ground?