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2nd try at Whole30


kew

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Still bloated this morning. Wow! I haven't felt this way since I started the Whole30, I think, and I had forgotten how unpleasant it is! I wonder how long it will last....long enough to teach me a lesson, I hope....but no longer than that!

At the gym yesterday, I was looking at myself in the mirror and feeling rather satisfied -- a very unusual feeling for me! Now, I just feel gross and don't want to see myself. I'm not sure if the source of the problem was the nuts, or the cucumber etc. too late at night, or any food too late at night, or what. At least I didn't wake up with hives...because I took my meds at bedtime.

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I used to get hives a lot Kew, sometimes after fighting off a cold. Other than a direct reaction from external exposure, allergy or virus, it could also be from gut permeability. Many foods are gluten cross-reactive. I think that's often my problem. Cocoa, coffee, nuts can sometimes cause the same damage as gluten if your immune system reacts... I hope you figure out the cause.

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Thanks for the tip, Juzbo. I've drunk coffee for years w/out hive problems, but who knows. It could be cocoa or nuts, too. I am working on cutting back my coffee and intend to eliminate nuts (which means much better planning for being out of the house and eating meals that prevent any call for snacking!!), too. Cocoa is mostly out but I have been using it as a spice/seasoning. Perhaps that needs to go, too. I have come to love my black coffee and would miss it, even though I mostly drink decaf (as of the last two days, admittedly....)

I was reading Moluv's Afterglow thread just now and saw a mention of Primal Blueprint. I've lurked there for a long time and found it well before I found W9. Something in the discussion on Moluv's thread made me realize that cheese may well be a FWB for me. When I reintro dairy, assuming I can tolerate it at all, I need to work on that, and the answer may be that cheese is FWB without me and that I cannot have it in the house, for instance. I feel good admitting this possibility. (Wine has previously been FWB as soon as I relax my discipline to allow more than 1 night per week.)

I went to the allergist yesterday and now am on two anti-histamines instead of just 1. Not exactly progress. The blood results from January showed no reaction for any of the foods they listed (gluten, eggs, various meats), etc, and no reaction to several environmental things that I was allergic to on previous skin tests. (Only ragweed and cats registered. Maybe I really do have to fight my own and my daughter's desire to get a new cat to replace our cat who died last summer.)

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Another useful thing I have (re)learned this time around is how good it feels to stop eating well before bedtime.

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Day 25....and feeling unvirtuous....like wine is calling my name.... :ph34r:....like coffee with cream would cure my headache.... :ph34r:

On the positive side, I don't feel like jumping into a tub of ice cream, and I know that I can be indifferent to cookies etc as long as I don't taste one (contrary to my comment earlier somewhere on the forum about it being the second of something that gets !). And I am still very pleased with myself for stopping eating by 7:30, sometimes 7:00 or earlier.

I have been feeling generally like I have gotten a bit smaller. I see more shape in my arms, and in my face. My waist is a bit smaller, I think, judging from my clothes, and I feel like I see some more shape in my legs, too. (My legs have always been my heavy part, although my waist/belly also got all mushy and dimpled in my last year of slackness.) None of these parts are write-home-about-good yet, but I feel pleased. It's the combo of getting back into regular exercise, started about 7 weeks ago, plus 3+ weeks of W30 together. And when I think about how much better I feel in my skin, how much better I feel about being this body, I see no reason to stop! So those unvirtuous pangs can just go to hell for now!! :D

Later: then again, I've only gotten one compliment about looking better, so maybe my results are overrated. (translation: let no good thought go uncontradicted..... Yep, that should be the focus of my next Whole30.....)

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Kew, a few of us joked that it would be nice to get a report from our insides as for sure they are seeing major benefits. Wine used to call my name too but when I reintro d it I was amazed how drugged I felt the next morning on only half a glass.... I did it a few times on and off to be really sure... Now I save it for occasions rather than regular meals....

Remember it takes your body a few weeks to catch up with the changes you have made.... And about 2 months for people to notice LOL

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Today, I brought my daughter to a playdate, and my hosts offered me beer, papaya (from their own garden), grapes, chips,.... and I stuck with water. Didn't feel deprived and didn't feel a need to explain, either -- that felt really good! (Admittedly, I was helped in feeling comfortable with all of this because of the invisalign trays in my mouth, which means I cannot eat without taking out the trays, which is an unsightly process at best.)

And while I had blueberries and coconut cream as part of my lunch, I did NOT have any fruit with dinner, which was a big salad, smoked salmon, and a small sweet potato with ghee. Across the table my husband, self-confessedly backsliding, inhaled a burger and fries with some red wine. Then again, since he is 6' and 137 pounds, he can get away with that sh*t and I most assuredly cannot. And that's just life.

(He also rocked my world slightly a couple of days ago when he said that he thinks arm definition would be "silly" on him, and I realized just how vain he isn't. As someone who is not a little obsessed with my looks, this was a moment to sit back and think.... And btw, we have been married for almost 9 years, so my surprise is a little surprising....)

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Finally made my plan for June/early July (before I go on vacation and lose lots of control over my plate....)

 

 

My W30 ends on Wednesday of this week.  I will continue with a W14 straight away. That gives me enough time to do reintro right:  1 dairy, 2 gluten grains, 3 non-gluten grains, 4 non-gluten grains, 5 nightshades.  (The last may be inconclusive because I have not given up seed spices.)

 

This ends the WWhatever earlier than I once thought I would do, but this will give me the best possible data in my N of 1 experiment, and thus the best possible arguments about what I can and cannot eat on my vacation.

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Half a chicken breast before early morning Crossfit (5:30 class) did not sit well.  Will try jerky the next time.  Part of the problem with Crossfit is that I feel so exhausted after that it's hard to settle myself down to work.  After the WOD, I had a piece of jerky right away, and then a chicken breast, some bok choy, and a small sweet potato with some red palm oil.  A bit later some raspberries.  And I really want to nap, not work.  Sigh.  I think I will be very happy if/when I discover that I can eat eggs, which I am currently eliminating.

 

Yesterday we found a trespasser/prowler/would-be B&E artist in our backyard....  He ran out over the back fence, which abuts a small park....  We cannot figure out whether the fence is on our property, but until we can get a more permanent fix, we have added a layer of split bamboo fencing to make the fence a bit higher and also festooned it with a nasty kind of thorn-growing vine to make it less inviting.  Still I worry about the kiddos in the backyard on their own.  And that also makes it hard to focus on work!

 

My shoulder and elbow are aching again today.  And that either proves that diet has nothing to do with it OR that the chili powder I put in the mince for dinner was enough to set me off....  I am not doing a total AIP, just no tomatoes, bell peppers, or eggplants, plus no eggs.  I have been avoiding black pepper, cayenne, chipotle, etc, too, but I just threw some chili powder on last night.  My aches probably have everything to do with sleeping in a bad position and nothing to do with food.  But then again....

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Tsk, tsk.  Afternoon snack.  A healthy one, but still.

 

On the other hand, I feel well-stuffed after dinner and know that the best thing to do is just stop eating.  Never mind that my mouth might like some of the organic berries in the fridge.

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Sorry, Juzbo!

 

 

Today is my Day 30!!

 

 

What I have done well:

 

I stuck on the plan and did not particularly crave grains and sugary stuff, or even wine (much).  My longings never felt really painful, in part because there was no conflict about whether I would have them.  I knew I wouldn't.  And it's the decision-making (should I? shouldn't I?) that causes so much of the pain, in my view and according to some psychologist I read whose name I cannot remember....

 

I have been good about eating early, which is not my preference.

 

I have been good -- but not perfect -- about not snacking between meals, but I have been good about snacking in a mini-meal way, when I have snacked.

 

I have learned to prefer black coffee, which is a great saving in time, kitchen mess, and, yes, calories.

 

I have started to feel a LOT more comfortable in my body again.  I have some arm definition again (courtesy of personal training for 8 weeks, combined with W30 at the end), and I feel like my legs have more tone and even my middle is a little trimmer.  (I didn't do measurements, and I'm not getting on the scale yet, but I will take pictures next Monday, in a setting that matches my "before" pictures.)   I am not sure, but I might be down a half size in my clothes.

 

I feel much more confident and happy with my body.  Yes, I am not where I would like to be yet, and I am certainly prey to self-loathing about body issues still, but where I am is acceptable in a way that where I was 30 days ago was not.

 

I feel very happy about how I was able to say no to wine for 30 days without conflict.  

 

I took out nuts, too.  They are probably FWB for me (unless perhaps eaten IN food), and I am not sure about the digestion factor.  I did keep sunflower seeds in the mix, mostly for salads but occasionally for snacking on (ooops).

 

What I could have done better......

 

I had a lot of berries.  Too often in dessert form, with stiff coconut cream...yum!  

 

Interrogating wait-staff at restaurants.  I just don't do that very much.  We don't go out often, of course, but I don't think I can be as vigilant on this without believing that I truly do have a bad reaction to soy, gluten, dairy, etc. 

 

I did okay -- but only okay -- at turning off the electronics well before bedtime.  I want to do better on that.

 

I did not plan ahead as much as I needed -- I got frustrated at not having healthy veg or protein available right now numerous times.

 

I need to eat more fish!!!

 

 

What I will carry forward......

 

I'm not done with the Whole 30 program.  I plan to continue as is for another 12-14 days, and then start a series of re-introductions before my vacation.  I will continue also with avoiding eggs, tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants, and try reintroducing them before vacation as well.  (I really need to know if I can handle eggs, in particular, but tomatoes would be a big help, too.)

 

 

And after my vacation, I plan to go right back to another Whole 30/60.

 

Once I empty the fridge (with the help of family) of the current crop of organic berries that were on sale (ahem), I'm not having any more for the rest of my Whole#.  Also, while there are still berries, I will eat them only in other food, for example in a salad.  Also nuts only as an ingredient, not on their own.

 

To me, knowing that I am not having wine for a month is okay....but knowing that I could have wine in three days, for example, is stressful.  I have been debating having a day off at the end of this Whole30, for example, just for wine, and the excuse for that is so I can enjoy some adult companionship with my husband.  Well, I can think of another, better way to experience companionship with him......

 

So I think I need to re-set my wine default to "no" rather than "yes."  Specifically, I need sometimes to say "no" at restaurants and at friends' houses, instead of saying "yes" on every special occasion.  Because otherwise pretty soon, "it's Tuesday and the kids were awful today!" becomes a "special occasion....."  And one glass becomes two, or three.   The same is true with sweets and grains, but less so, in fact.  I think I self-medicate more with wine than anything else, and if it weren't so clearly taboo, I would reach for wine rather than sweets at the workplace.....  

 

As I write this, it seems clear to me that I have a problem with alcohol, but no one I know (I think) would believe that about me....unless they read this.  So let's say that I am a few steps away from currently possessing a problem with alcohol, but I'm definitely in the neighborhood as a general rule.  And I guess the solution to that is to say that for every N times I have wine, there should be, say, 2 or 3N times that I pass it up.   Or something.

 

But the biggest take-away from all of this is knowing that I can restrict myself to healthy foods without feeling particularly deprived AND knowing that I can feel pretty good in my skin, even though I am still overweight by BMI, by clothes size, and by the decisive look-in-the-mirror test.  And feeling good in my skin is key to feeling and looking better because it makes me feel powerful and able to make positive changes.  I'll never be an underwear model -- and my husband says thank god to that! -- but that's okay.  I don't want to be one, either.  Truly!!

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A wonderful story kew with more to come! Very happy for you!

I understand the wine issue completely... It's also the social ritual that you miss out on when you don't drink, and I don't mean that in a negative or peer group way. I did a 100 without wine of course, and had it a few times the week after. Then had another week or so without alcohol but fully compliant otherwise, then had a half glass of wine... Well the next morning I woke up so tired I felt drugged... So I repeated the experiment a few more times with a few days gap and same... Now I just can't bring myself to drink wine unless it is a really special occasion... since I have linked that hard to get out of bed feeling directly to wine. You never know, the same might happen to you.

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Change of plans:  Reintroductions right away, then WholeWhatever for as long as possible.

 

Dairy -- cream, milk, cheese.  Felt a little bloated and gassy in the hour or two after, but not very seriously.  Slept fine but woke up a little more itchy than since I started the 2nd antihistamine.  A little stuffed up this morning, but it's hard to be certain if that is more than a coincidence.  And I am not quite so regular this morning.  So far suggestive but not conclusive.  I think I may re-test dairy on day 4 because my dinner last night may well have contained other mysteries -- at a restaurant, asked some questions but probably not enough.

 

On the plus side, I fit into a new pair of size 8 shorts.  Okay, yes, I sort of had to struggle into them, rather than slip into them easy-peasy, but still!

 

Haven't weighed myself yet, because I'm feeling a bit, ah, backed up.

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Great write-up. I think it might be hard to tease out eggs if you also suspect nightshade issues and don't take them both out for a bit and re-introduce carefully . That's my gut feeling. Maybe not true for you.

I know I was terrible with re-intros (husband birthday dinner out, had dairy, sugar, booze all at once). I screwed up reintros after our mini-AIP as well. Now I'm doing an AIP W30 and I still don't know what I can or can't eat. So, just tke your time with reintros! That's my word of wisdom.

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Great write-up. I think it might be hard to tease out eggs if you also suspect nightshade issues and don't take them both out for a bit and re-introduce carefully . 

 

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Beets -- eggs and nightshades are both out for now and have been for nearly 10 days.  I will introduce them separately in about another 10 days.  I was even planning to separate out tomatoes from peppers from eggplants -- is that the sort of thing you meant?

 

 

On another note, could dairy itself increase my cravings, or is it just the psychology of knowing that I am now experimenting with adding stuff back in???  Either way, I think dairy is going back out as a regular thing.  Cream in coffee only for rare special occasions, and dairy only in recipes over which I have no control.  I don't need to drink my fat calories, for certain!

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Dairy despite being low GI is now though to trigger insulin... That could cause cravings??

I'm lucky in a way that I can't tolerate dairy anymore without severe stomach pains, makes it an easy choice... Even milk chocolate is a no go which helps me stick to the high quality dark!

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Cannot believe how sweet a cold sweet potato tastes.  With a little coconut cream as a means to round out a meal...good grief!

 

I will be trialing gluten tomorrow.  Yikes.  What I would love to try is a croissant, but I don't want the confounding butter and I'm still avoiding eggs.   I guess it will be a plain piece of bread or some crackers.  Yawn.  ;)

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This had better be just PMS, because I have a definitely "can't do" attitude today!  Phooey.

 

Trying out gluten today -- surprisingly hard to find a bread or cracker that didn't also have egg, soy, dairy, or sugar in it....  Which itself is instructive.  Absolutely no reaction in the first thirty minutes, fwiw.

 

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Still no discernible gluten reaction 2 hours later: stomach fine, head fine.  Feeling a bit 'bound up' today, but that started before the cracker experiment and despite the Natural Calm.  Feh.

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I had some "after" pictures taken today, and.....I don't actually see much difference.  I was surprised and disappointed by this.

 

And I'm also a little annoyed at not having strong reactions to the dairy and gluten reintro.  I had been hoping to have clear reactions to "justify" my "weird" choices to my family.....

 

But even so, I am happy with my Whole30 experiment (if not 2 dress sizes and 15 lbs happy).  I am happy first because I did it and it didn't feel like torture.  I wasn't obsessed with food all the time, and I enjoyed what I ate.  And even when I took out more stuff -- eggs, nuts, nightshades -- I didn't become obsessed or feel too deprived.  And I mostly followed the "no snacking" rule -- much more so than usual.  I think I am a little trimmer and am definitely happier in my body.  And I think preWO and postWO protein will stick as a habit for me as I move from personal training back into Crossfit.

 

I know that the desire for/illusion of control can be very damaging, but I still like the idea that while I love to eat, I am now eating more to live, and not so much living to eat.  Without all the crap in my diet, I feel more assured that if I don't love a particular meal, so what?....there will be more food at the next meal.  Nourishing but "meh" food is satisfying in a way that Unnourishing "meh" food can never be.  Valuing it for the nutrition, not just for the taste -- and not just for how many calories it isn't! -- feels good to me.

 

Now, one interesting thing that I have noticed.  If I am being strict W30, then I crave a taste of something, like blueberries, I can have three or two or even one, and I can say/feel, yes, that's blueberries, and that's enough.  It's much more like me, I would have said, to have grabbed a fistful or two for the sake of the mouth hunger.  I don't know, however, that this new literal taste-of-something would work for something like chocolate!  So I am going to put off trying it and similar things until I genuinely reach that F*** Off! point.  And to be sure, the taste thing only hasn't always worked....to wit the home roasted sunflower seeds I got into today.  Ahem.  (Move along, nothing to see here!)

 

I've been toying with the idea of having some wine, and haven't done that yet, either.  I think I will re-commit to no wine until vacation.  Not sure.  I may just take it day by day.  I certainly have not kept up with the earlier no fruit promise.... our veggie share comes with berries, and I am damned if I will see organic raspberries and blueberries go to waste!  :ph34r:  I am toying with the idea of wine-with-a-meal-for-Father's-Day, and I'm not quite sure by what logic that my having wine amounts to a Father's Day treat for my husband....

 

And finally, I think I want to start daily logging of food items and how I feel, for a while, to keep track of things.  I'm not making any big promises there, though!

 

Anyway, today started with crackers (REINTRO), smoked trout, red cabbage (steamed) and some sauerkraut, and black coffee.  Not exactly ideal combo.

 

PWO - jerky

PWO - ground beef with onions (leftovers)

 

M2: steak, broccolini, sweet potato, coconut cream, cinnamon tea.  Another veggie too?  I cannot remember

 

SNACK: sunflower seeds while prepping dinner.  tsk, tsk. :rolleyes:

 

M3: chicken thighs, broccoli, sauteed onions, SPAGHETTI with red palm oil (REINTRO!!), organic berries and coconut cream.

 

No obvious gastric consequences, or fogginess, or anything.  But I am going to continue working from the assumption that (a) the leaky gut hypothesis is correct and  even if it were not, it's still far too easy to overeat things made with grains.

 

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You know what?  My husband eats fruit.  He can eat the damn berries.

 

 

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And now my stomach is gurgling and feeling a little bubbly and "off".  Whatever!

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Shoot.  If these are cramps, I'd forgotten how bad they can be!  My stomach is out to HERE, shorts unbutton and unzipped, sweating slightly, back aching.... And this with two tylenol.  

 

If the W30 has put my hormones back in line -- I'm on the Mirena and have no obvious cycle 99% of the time (TMI, but it's my log!) -- maybe I should go jump a doughnut truck!!!   :(

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