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Better than Bad, It's Good! Log - Whole30 style


greenwaypress

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The dreams started last night. I was out with friends and there was a toast and they poured us all a shot of beer from our own individual bottles of beer. With sincere intentions to not drink, I cheered with the toast and I accidentally took the shot out of reflex. I realized this immediately and was so upset at my absent-mindedness. Dream Self then says, "Fuck it, I might as well have those things I was craving," like I have many times in the past and suddenly then was in a deli shop and ripped open a packaged Reese's And baby Cadbury eggs cookie and crammed it into my face. I could feel that binge monster rearing it's head. It was awful and very vivid.

Then I woke up and felt disappointed with myself! Strange. But also a relief because it was all a dream!!

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Day 10

Have been going to bed late. I don't feel tired! Maybe my chocolate tea is caffeinated? I'll skip it tonight and see how it goes.

M1 ground beef, half avocado (didn't have any veg packed from yesterday)

M2 chicken and veg soup with celery and carrots, broccoli coleslaw, green tea with coconut milk

So far today I have made chicken and veg soup, mayonnaise, coleslaw, roasted butternut squash, chicken breasts and ketchup. I love cooking. Setting myself up for the week feels great. These groceries are expensive; especially stocking the various spices and things. Off to Pilates I go! I am feeling like I could use a nap, but instead will head out in a couple minutes so as not to be late.

 

----

 

continuing....

 

5:35pm pilates reformer intro

 

M3 1/2c roasted butternut squash with ketchup, chicken and veg soup, broccoli slaw, chamomile & lavender tea with coconut milk.

 

Man, that broccoli slaw tastes excellent to me. It is really hitting the spot where that craving was coming up!

 

Side note: I have had CRAVINGS for cigarettes, which feels shameful. Why can't I just be rid of those stupid things already!? I am known for my interest and dedication to health more often than not and those loom over my head and cast a shadow over all the hard work I put in everywhere else. 

 

On a nicer note I cannot wait to do my reformer classes and am thinking about making a commitment to doing it 2 or 3 times a week balanced with my schedule somehow. I will see how these next 3 classes go. I just love that grounded and tall feeling afterwards. 

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Day 11

 

Went to bed close to 1 again. Had spotty sleep because of the ice/snowstorm during the night, but I had set an alarm for pilates. I thought about staying in bed, but I went! Basically had a private class too which was cool. Wasn't sure what to eat for breakfast/PWO meal so I went towards a PWO. Not sure how much it will help or hinder my performance really. I have trouble with protein sources without fat...they're always cooked in fat and eggs have the yolk or else it's just whites and that's a waste of eggs. Tuna out of the can plain is kind of repulsive. So I went with boiled chicken?

 

M1 chicken and veg soup, large baked sweet potato, tea with coconut milk.

 

M2 2 chicken tenders (the cut, not the style), broccoli slaw, guacamole, baby carrots, tea with coconut milk.

 

so far (3:20pm)

 

I am planning a ski trip this weekend, which will be interesting between an 80/20 vegan couple, my fussy English boyfriend (steak, potatoes, CHEESE, bread, pasta, hotdogs) and a low-fat whole grain lover chick. This will be interesting indeed. We've all agreed to bring our own food because of it, so that part is fine, but i HATE explaining the constraints of the W30 to people who are stuck in their own nutrition bubbles. I am not skilled at conversations where people are attacking or demeaning or manipulative; I get flustered and defensive and have a sharp tongue and close off if they really push me. It's not great and I really try to be present and not let people get under my skin. It's hard sometimes. I am improving though. The ski trippers are all pretty open-minded, which I need to remind myself. I do think it's going to be really really fun. And hey, I'll be recovering quickly from the inevitable falls because I won't be drinking and will be eating super healthy! 

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Day 11 cont---

Chamomile tea plain

M3 ground beef, baby carrots, broccoli slaw, guac, Larabar after I was still hungry.

I am still hungry over 20 min later. I am also very tired today. Not happy about it, but I am usually grouchy when tired.

Had a handful of almonds as well. Really wanted to eat the chips that are a prop in the show. Cheddar Beer flavor. Sounds good in theory, but just love chips rather than the weird flavor. Didn't do it.

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Day 12 already? Time is going pretty quickly.

 

Last night's sleep was pretty good; no crazy dreams to report and slept through the night. I wake up clear-headed, but still feel somewhat tired. Maybe the lack of morning scheduling immediacy is partly to do with it. 

 

M1 3 poached eggs, baby carrots, handful of grapes (did not have any fat sources at BFs, but hope the egg yolks are enough)

 

M2 3 chicken tenders, guacamole, roasted butternut squash and ketchup

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Day 12 continued.....

Tea with coconut milk

M3 Waldorf tuna salad (from WF), half green apple, broccoli with paleo ranch

Mayo in tuna salad, mayo in paleo ranch...I have been wondering if my fat consumption is too much and keep meaning to double check. Don't want to slow any fat burning and also don't want to go hungry. If I eat more veg do they have to be prepared without oil to not overdo it also? I don't know.

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Day 13

Was compliant all day especially since we brought food from the grocery.

Day 14

First day skiing. I will be feeling it tomorrow. Ow.

M1 coffee with coconut milk, 3 eggs poached, spoon of guac, handful baby carrots

M2 sweet potato, burger patty, guac, broccoli

English breakfast tea with coconut milk

M3 1 avocado, rao's marinara sauce with ground beef over steamed green beans and broccoli

Decaf green tea and coconut milk

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Do you have a recipe for the ketchup?

Yes I do! I happened to take a screenshot of it, but couldn't find a link of the recipe.

12oz tomato paste

4T apple cider vinegar

1T yellow mustard

1/4c + 2T water

1/2t salt

1/2t cinnamon

1/4t garlic powder

Whisk all together in a bowl well to ensure the spices are distributed evenly. Put in airtight container and refrigerate. Let it sit overnight to let the flavors really meld.

1/8t ground cloves

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Day 15

Was very stiff today after a few bad falls on my last run yesterday. My knee is jacked up and puffy after hearing a pop on the slopes so bf treated me to a 90min massage since I couldn't go back out today. I would have liked to, but am happy having time to myself.

M1 3 fried eggs over steamed green beans and meat sauce over the top. 1 avocado. Coffee with coconut milk.

Coffee with coconut milk

M2 2 hb eggs, guacamole, 1 baked sweet potato

Chocolate tea with coconut milk

M3 bag of roasted salted cashews

M4 handful baby carrots, meat sauce over steamed green beans and broccoli

Ate way too many cashews. Got them at a rest stop on the road between the mountain and the city while I was very hungry. They were good but way way too many and I knew it. I have still been craving cakes and soft baked types of sweets. Been thinking about chocolate which normally doesn't come into my mind. My moods have been irritable and my temper short, I dread to think what they might have been without w30. Maybe it's my surroundings. Maybe it's a weird symptom. Maybe neither, but time will tell I suppose.

Groceries tomorrow. I am not looking forward to carrying heavy things with a bum knee and extremely sore everything. I am looking forward to bed right now.

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Day 17

 

M1 sweet potato, leftover chili

 

earl grey tea with coconut milk

 

M2 large portion broccoli slaw, sole filet with onions, half sweet potato, larabar, chai tea with coconut milk

 

M3 merguez meatballs (WF2...holy crap they are amazing), cauliflower leek soup

 

peppermint tea with coconut milk

 

Started a bone broth tonight which will be simmering for at least 14hrs; wish I could keep it going, but I am not quite comfortable leaving the stove on while no one is home. Made cauliflower soup, merguez seasoning and merguez meatballs. Yum.

 

Was pretty tired today and developed a headache tonight at the crown of my head. Almost seems like a tension headache is coming on based on the intensity of my jaw tightness. Ow. Also, I could have napped which hasn't been the case recently. Could have drank more water since I've only had about a liter.  

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Day 18

 

M1 3 eggs cooked into cauliflower soup, english breakfast tea with coconut milk

 

1.5hrs later - BP coffee (good splash MCT oil, 1 spoon coconut oil, cinnamon, coconut milk)

 

(M2 tbd, but am meeting up for lunch with an old friend from home at a coffeehouse. probably will get herbal tea.)

 

Jasmine green tea

 

M2 lamb meatballs, cauliflower soup, 2 large carrots

 

M3 groung beef verde, 3 large carrots, peppermint tea with coconut milk

 

Felt super mellow today, but in a good way. My vision was oddly fuzzy while at the coffee shop and I wondered what that was all about, but no bother. Had a fantastic time with my friend. I've known him for 20 years and it is really comforting to be around someone who you were once close to and still be comfortable and get along in the same way even though we've both matured and lived separately for years. 

 

Bone broth is done and holy crap it was hard to clean up from the fat residue all over everything. I had to throw the sponge away and start a new one! Saved the bones for next time in the freezer. Gotta get a pressure cooker. 24hrs in the dutch oven and this gas bill is going to be silly. 

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Day 19

BF surprised me last night by coming up to my apt late last night. Went to bed later than planned and he woke me up a few times during the night with his snoring so sleep=not great last night.

M1 small avocado, cauliflower soup, reheated chili, coffee with coconut milk

M2 2 chicken sausages, a little bubbie's sauerkraut, 4 large celery stalks, mayo, dijon mustard, ketchup

(still hungry after 20min and a big glass of water) peppermint tea with coconut milk, larabar

M3 2 chicken sausages, small cup cauliflower soup, awesome sauce (WF2)

It's 9:30 and I'm a little hungry. I would eat fish and broccoli though I'm not starving. Maybe slightly bored and have beent thinking about sugar for awhile. I'd really like some cookies and flourless chocolate cake and crappy hydrogenated peanut butter and chocolate cupcakes.

Instead I'm having peppermint tea and coconut milk.

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Day 20

M1 small avocado, 3 poached eggs, small sweet potato, coffee with coconut milk

Black coffee

M2 chili, small avocado, small sweet potato

Emergency snack: small bag raw almonds

M3 apple gate farm pepperoni, small bag cashews, Larabar, baby carrots

There were no vegetables in bf's apt to complement my sweet potatoes and the almonds came right when I had to run to call at the theatre. Had to get valentines as well and was running late. Oops. Definitely my lack of preparedness led to why I had pepperoni and the like for m3.

Whole30 is not very romantic. Today is the first day I am sad I can't have a couple glasses of wine to just chill with my man and have a nice night. It will be nice, but I am missing alcohol. There was some bargaining chatter going on in my head about throwing it all away and having alcohol and tons of sweets. It probably doesn't help that I was on Pinterest making recipe boards and things and just seeing all the delicious sweet ideas. I put them on a board called indulge because I can't have sugar and be normal about it. I get crazy mood swings and fall asleep in about an hour and a half after ingesting it AFTER setting off my Binge Monster.Day 20

M1 small avocado, 3 poached eggs, small sweet potato, coffee with coconut milk

Black coffee

M2 chili, small avocado, small sweet potato

Emergency snack: small bag raw almonds

M3 apple gate farm pepperoni, small bag cashews, Larabar, baby carrots

There were no vegetables in bf's apt to complement my sweet potatoes and the almonds came right when I had to run to call at the theatre. Had to get valentines as well and was running late. Oops. Definitely my lack of preparedness led to why I had pepperoni and the like for m3.

Whole30 is not very romantic. Today is the first day I am sad I can't have a couple glasses of wine to just chill with my man and have a nice night. It will be nice, but I am missing alcohol. There was some bargaining chatter going on in my head about throwing it all away and having alcohol and tons of sweets. It probably doesn't help that I was on Pinterest making recipe boards and things and just seeing all the delicious sweet ideas. I put them on a board called indulge because I can't have sugar and be normal about it. I get crazy mood swings and fall asleep in about an hour and a half after ingesting it AFTER setting off my Binge Monster.

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I am fairly certain that I am bored of my food choices particularly when I am away from my apartment. I'm sick of carrying what feels like a hundred pounds through the snow twice a week and spending more than is responsible for my current budget. I am going on a triple date tomorrow to a German restaurant and I am annoyed that I have to go out and get boring whole30 safe food. I am right on par with the timeline saying day 21 boredom arrival.

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Day 21

M1 small avocado, a bunch of baby carrots, black coffee, 3 eggs cooked in olive oil

Started to feel a little peckish 2hrs later so had more baby carrots

M2 (from Dig Inn) lemon herb chicken, sautéed kale carrots and purple potatoes, roasted beets, kale apple salad, small container guac

Chocolate tea

M3 leftover veg from Dig Inn container, a bit of salsa verde beef from tupperware

Peppermint tea

Started with what I thought was a tired voice yesterday which might have been a sore throat/post nasal drip yesterday to today where I'm sneezing and between congestion and a runny nose. Took a nap after show #1 today and had a small M3 before leaving for show #2. It's closing night tonight; another drinking occasion in which I feel the longing to partake. Another occasion where I won't.

Maybe this is partly able to explain this little mood hiccup I have been thinking about for a couple days. I am concerned that since I have been feeling deprived somewhat--particularly in terms of socializing, but not limited to these things--that my binge monster is winding up for a big swing. It's not a nice feeling, but I'm not sure how to curb it besides finishing my whole 30 and seeing through the introductions.

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Day 22

M1 2 eggs, spoonful salsa verde beef, half large sweet potato, leftover beets and kale, black coffee

M2 salsa verde beef, other half sweet potato, roasted broccoli

Kombucha, raw cashews (too many)

M3 pepper steak, boiled carrots, handful cashews

Peppermint tea

Slept a long time. Been taking NyQuil and DayQuil. Can't breathe out of my nose still. Days are going by quickly. Club sodas in the bar last night for closing night.

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NyQuil is not compliant, as per their website, it contains alcohol and high fructose corn syrup  :( Likewise, DayQuil contains sorbitol (sugar).

Thank you for letting me know! That is infuriating. If my results are less than what they might have been then so be it. I should have thought to read and am not sure why I didn't. I guess that speaks to the naïve consumer brain that thinks of products as helpful. No more NyQuil/DayQuil for the duration of my cold. Let's hope the rest of my compliance can outshine those bs ingredients. Grr

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Day 23

Slept a long time last night. Was still somewhat cranky this morning. Then I get left alone and am fine an hour later.

Black coffee

M1 3 eggs cooked in olive oil, handful raw cashews, baby carrots, sweet potato hash (half of batch made from small swtpotato), peppermint tea

M2 (I guess) lots of cashews, peppermint tea

M3 meat sauce over roasted broccoli

Rest of cashews.

Ok. Cashews are a red light food. I don't want to stop eating them. I cannot breathe out of my nose at all (eff you dayquiiiiiillll). I am going to have baby carrots bc I am still peckish.

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Day 24

 

M1 peppermint tea, leftover meat sauce, egg fried in olive oil, leftover broccoli and potato hash

 

M2 larabar, english breakfast tea with coconut milk, broccoli cabbage slaw, ground beef with awesome sauce mayo

 

english breakfast tea with coconut milk

 

M3 larabar, ground beef with awesome sauce mayo, roasted broccoli

 

I had too much to eat, but I am still compliant. Cold is dwindling finally. My hormones are starting to kick up from the impending TOM. That might explain the couple tiny spots on my face...and my weird mood lately. The cashews made me bloated yesterday. I also realized my stomach was a little grumbly the day I had the Day/Nyquil and that is either to do with those damned things or the raw nuts.

 

Hopefully it will be easy when I go home though it tends to be a fat/binge trap. I am going home for 3 weeks to the parents' and they have at least 5 types of donuts/cookies out on the counter at all times, ice cream in the fridge, bananas, mangos. My dad has a serious sweet tooth and my grandma loves high sugar fruit. I don't keep those things in my own house because they are red light foods. I have eaten a whole bunch of bananas before because it kicked off the sugar dragon. I think I'll be able to avoid it all. Gonna pack a couple cans of coconut milk and maybe even some of my spices since I know they won't have them. So much for travelling light I guess? I'm still deciding on that.

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Day 25

Bone broth

Pilates reformer

M1 sweet potato hash, English breakfast tea, leftover meat sauce, broccoli cabbage slaw

M2 earl grey tea, mixed greens salad with lemon vinaigrette

M3 broccoli cabbage slaw, bone broth, leftover meat with awesome sauce, few pieces leftover broccoli

Felt really great after Pilates. Bone broth was perfect beforehand as well.

M2 was too soon after M1 and I wasn't hungry enough.

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