LadyM's seduction continues (sur son propre velo)


LadyM

Recommended Posts

  • Moderators

Day 5

M1 quiche, 9

M2 beefcake, giant green salad w nomnom ranch, 1

M3 zoodles w marinara, clams, two eggs (for added protein), booch, 5

Good morning! Had a good long sleep last night and got to the farmers market a bit later than I like. No bother, though; I was still able to get pastured eggs (they always run out). I also procured loads of kale, cabbage, and lettuce as well as some chicken, cukes, zucchini, onions and beets. So, I'm flush with good things. I didn't get any berries bc they're (strangely) food without brakes for me, and I'm sticking to this no starches or fruits for a little while to see what comes of it. Though this experiment is happening pre-AF, so I'm expecting to not be able to accurately read my body for a little while. At least I'm aware, right?

The nature walk yesterday was painful, but I powered through and got many bug bites--all on my a$$ and upper thigh. No bueno. Those little shits love the taste of my blood. I'd hate to resort to bug spray. What au naturel bug repellents have any of you had success with?

Little by little my back is getting better. It didn't take me near as long to get going this morning, so that's a good sign. The biofreeze gel is helping a lot.

The show last night felt a little lackluster, but that's to be expected after a hiatus and when the audience is quiet. The audience response affects a performance way more than most audience members realize. Like anything else it's an energy exchange, after all!

Cleaning, reading, and maybe another walk on tap today. We'll see.

Update: I spontaneously cleaned my whole place, including floors, AND I went through my closets and drawers, organizing and tossing clothes. Feels SO good! And it didn't take nearly as long as I expected it to. Almost nothing does. Note to self: this is why it's always a good idea to just get started!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 1.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
  • Moderators

Day 6

M1 quiche, cm decaf, 9

M2 giant green salad w skirt steak and homemade vinaigrette, 2

M3 kale chips, chicken breast w awesome sauce bottle of booch, 7

Exercise: one hour walk

Show went much better last night and I had a long restful sleep. Today I have absolutely nothing planned and that makes me very happy, especially since my house is so clean! Who knows what the day will bring.

With my new 30-day experiment has come the return of food nightmares. Last night I dreamt that I was shopping at a Vietnamese grocery store and surreptitiously stuffed my face with prepared foods there. Not only going off plan, but stealing!

My back is still painful and still progressing in the right direction. I might try a yoga class at noon. But I don't want to push it, so I'll just play it by ear.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yay to clean house, good show, long sleep, farmers market, improving back!

 

Not so yay to food nightmares, still painful back and bug bites on your a$$!

 

Personally, I go for the strongest Deet I can find.  I know it's not good, but between mosquitoes and ticks and the scares over Lymes and West Nile and whatever else is the disease du jour, I'm not taking any chances.  I lower the toxic load on my kids with organic food, homemade laundry detergent and the safest sunscreens and other stuff I can.  But, living in the woods, there is no substitute for the hard chemicals.  At least not that I've found.  Any natrual deterrant I've tried doesn't work worth beans.

 

I hope you had a fabulous day yesterday!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

Day 7

Almost one week down, woot!

M1 quiche, 8:30

M2 slaw http://nomnompaleo.com/post/3955306349/red-cabbage-slaw-with-tangy-carrot-ginger-dressing

w steak, 1

M3 chicken breast w awesome sauce, slaw, booch, 5

Exercise: half hour swim, one hour walk

Saw fmd this morning and she's pleased with my progress. I'm still not happy about all this and am convinced there's more to be done, so I've scheduled an appt with my gp to get a referral for physical therapy. I need an expert to help me strengthen and stabilize all the muscles and joints that keep giving out on me. I'm ever hopeful that I'll get better.

Went for a lovely long walk last evening and stopped to chat w BFF, who lives a couple blocks away. This could become a very nice evening/post-dinner ritual. And walking is getting easier. I'm also returning to swimming at noon, but not overdoing it. And fmd showed me some new stretches to help with the sciatica. They're so incredibly mild it doesn't even seem like anything at all. This is all a huge adjustment for ballstothewalls me.

Feeling good about my tweaked w30 and even a little hopeful. I did allow myself a little extra yesterday with my cm decaf in the morning as a Sunday treat w my nytimes. It is infinitely funny to me how what I define as a treat has radically altered. At least I've stopped whining to myself about how hard this is and how much easier losing weight used to be. I guess I'm in the acceptance phase as far as that is concerned. Yes, I could lose weight easier, but I never managed to keep it off sustainably, healthfully, and happily, so how good or easy was that really?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope you enjoyed your Sunday!  I always feel so much lighter when my house is clean.  And if it is clean on Saturday, that is such a joy knowing I have none of that to contend with on Sunday.

 

Sorry your back is still bothering you, although it sounds like daily improvements.

 

Mosquitoes LOVE me.  Ugh.  I try to just deal with them, and just use the regular old DEET stuff when things are really bad (visiting my sister in DC in the summer is always really awful from a bug perspective).

 

How much longer does your show run?

 

I enjoyed all the introspective conversations, albeit a bit late.  It definitely helps me to read how others are dealing with not finding an easy path to the weight/body they have been working towards and how to deal with that.  A regular struggle for me, but I'm happy to say that right now, it isn't something that has been a constant thought.  Last weekend I even put on a bathing suit and actually took off my cover up and went in the pool.

 

A lovely walk and a chat with BFF, fantastic!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

High five, Sara! Shamelessly baring our bodies in swimsuits is sometimes the most life affirming, body loving thing we can do.

And body image not being a constant thought is a huge win, too. Obsession, then constant thought, then intermittent thought, then giving it up and enjoying life regardless. I imagine that's the progression. And the more we can get out of our own heads the better. That's what I'm working on right now.

And there's little that beats a clean house! Now to keep it that way. . . .

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

Day 8

M1 quiche, 5

M2 quiche, 9

M3 chicken breast, cuke zoodles w tahini dressing http://www.edibleharmony.com/creamy-tahini-vinagrette/, 1:30

M4 halupki stirfry plus green beans and paprika (I'm calling it paleo goulash) http://paleoparents.com/2011/halupki-stirfry/, kraut, 7:15

exercise: 90-min yoga class, one hour walk

Good morning! Woke up before 4 this morning and just decided to get up after trying to go back to sleep a bit. I am so incredibly productive in the wee hours of the morning. I would love to be able to be in bed by 8 and up at 4. But the sun doesn't go down here until nearly 10. Oh well.

Anyway, I've already cleaned, cooked, done meditation, gone to yoga, done some reading and writing, had breakfast. Not too shabby.

Yesterday I read a self-help book I'd impulsively ordered after reading about it in someone's success story. It arrived in the mail and I just sat down and read the whole thing. It's called the Gabriel Method and it advocates using visualization and a kind of hypnosis to help the body release its attachment to being fat. I feel like it's already having positive effects for me. I've really been in something of a funk, and I feel the weight (pun intended) lifting. So that's good. My plan is to stick with it for the duration of this 30-day experiment. Of course, I'm not weighing or measuring myself, so the only measurements will be my clothes and how I feel. But hey, what's more informative than that?

Yoga this morning was definitely challenging in terms of my sciatica pain, but I'm working through it and learning how far to push myself, which isn't far at all right now. Healing is priority number one. I can rebuild strength and flexibility in due time.

Loving my evening walks. It's a wonderful wind down and guaranteed time in nature. One of these days I'll get on my bike, but I need to build up confidence that I won't hurt myself and get stranded 20 miles away from home. I'm thinking consistent walks will help build that confidence.

I hurt after swimming yesterday, but it passed. Thinking I should probably take a day off from swimming today. The temps are on the chilly side, anyway.

Food is simple and good. I'm out of cooked protein at the moment, though, so creating leftovers is on the agenda today. Chicken leg quarters and breasts, ground beef, and a bison steak await fire. I made an intriguing tahini-based salad dressing this morning and I'm eager to taste it at lunch. Hope I make it to lunch. Breakfast was awfully early!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Up at 4!  I'm a morning sleeper, so to me that sounds awful.  However, it was amazing how much I got done in the clean up process on Sunday because I got up at 8.  Not my norm after a party.

 

Hoping pain free yoga, swimming, and biking are in your near future.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

Day 9

M1 swirly quiche, 7

M2 goulash soup, noon

M3 giant salad w chicken breast, cabbage slaw and tahini dressing, kale chips, strawberries, 6

Exercise: one hour walk

Woke up at 6 today without an alarm, which puts me at a solid 8 hours. Feeling good about that. Yesterday I needed a little nap at about 10 am, but then I was good to go.

Got frustrated with my leg and back pain yesterday so I went to see my old chiropractor. Just felt I needed a second opinion in case fmd is missing something. He adjusted me, but nothing major. Still, I woke up today with a little less pain. Progress! I just have to keep reminding myself that this is not forever and that I WILL heal IF I give it time and TLC.

Amid yesterday's errands I finally switched out my propane tank, so grilling is once again a food prep option. I can't believe I've gotten this far into summer without it!

Planning for a morning of writing followed by lunch, an afternoon of errands, dinner, and either a walk or bike ride, depending on how I feel. The evening walk with a stop to see BFF is turning out to be a really lovely wind down. Then a shower followed by hypnosis sends me off into a blissful dreamland. Oh how I love a good routine!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

Day 10

M1 swirly quiche, bone broth, 8:30

M2 goulash soup, kraut, kale chips, strawberries, 2:45

M3 bison steak, slaw, strawberries, kale chips, booch, 7:15

Exercise: 90 min yoga, 2.5 mile walk

Chilly here again, so I'm enjoying some morning bone broth as I type. Yoga this morning was a little less painful today, partly because I'm healing, and partly because I humbled myself enough to use blocks in some standing forward bending postures. I know this painful experience is rich with life lessons I haven't yet become aware of. Staying open to that rather than staying mad. This is a good thing.

My evening ritual walk continues to satisfy me, and yesterday I had the added benefit of an unexpected compliment from BFF. He said I look like I'm losing again. That makes me very happy. Perhaps my 30 day experiment is already yielding positive results. I see him at noon for a massage, finally, after 6 weeks of cancellations and rescheduling. Hoping he can help. Then back to my old chiro this evening for another adjustment. Little by little. And then I'll be ready for some physical therapy in short order. Really looking forward to the continuing treasure hunt and learning to recalibrate and never take my body and good health for granted!

Had an enlightening session with my therapist yesterday, too. We talked about and named my continuing grief about my mom's death and permanent physical absence from my life as well as my pattern of creating intensity to avoid feeling the depth of my grief. Obsessing about diet, overdoing exercise, sporadic binge drinking and eating . . . all of these, among others, fit the pattern. So, now that I have new awareness, the challenge is to stay open to natural intensity (the quality of light and bright green leaves and grass on my evening walks, for example) rather than creating often destructive intensity. My work now is to settle into the ordinariness of life right now. Hunker down into the reality of grief--the tiredness and lack of desire that make me antsy. That, and keep moving my body, writing, eating healthy, and meditating. This is my prescription, and I'm an excellent patient.

And one of these days I'll get back on my bike and get back to the beach, two of my most beloved forms of natural intensity. All in due time.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm glad you are working through your grief with your therapist.  Our mental health has such a huge impact on the rest of our health, maybe more than anything else.  I hope your prescription proves effective.

 

Glad to hear yoga was less painful, even though it meant reducing the workload.  All in good time.

 

A compliment to bring a little light to a chilly day.   :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Good insights from your therapist appt!  I went to therapy for a while when my obsession over calories and weight was worrying me.  It helped me see it was my way of distracting myself from accepting the fact that I had to find a new job (it was a very stressful situation, but I loved and felt loyal to my boss, so it took a while to accept that it was time to leave).  I love your perscription.  I hope you follow it to the letter. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

Update, day 10

Went back to old chiro and he did some super cool adjustments and told me it's not my hip it's my 5th lumbar and that I should be feeling a lot better after this adjustment and after the inflammation goes down. So, more icing and biofreeze in my future. But I'm feeling quite hopeful about this. I'm still going through with physical therapy, too, though.

Wept through my massage today and had mad cravings for a cookie, then wine, then an ice cream sundae, all of which suggests AF is on her way. I thought about giving in, but instead ate a nice hunk of grass fed bison smothered in chimichurri sauce and plenty of veggies and treated myself to strawberries. I also went for a long walk in the woods. Nature is the best reset.

Now to clean the kitchen for one final positive reset before I give in to night and patiently expect a cheerier tomorrow!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

Day 11

M1 swirly quiche, 8

M2 goulash soup w kraut, kale chips, 12:30

M3 roasted brined chicken quarter and veggies, booch, 6

Well, today my small part of the earth is a bit cheerier, but for the rest of the world, yikes! Terrible news all over the front page today. The world, not just I, grieves. Sending love and healing to Gaza and the Ukraine.

And yet writing, healing, performing continue. Writing and laundry this morning, swimming at noon, followed by gp appt followed by an open afternoon to run lines and maybe walk again in the woods. Got my meditation in first thing, so I'm set up for focus and follow through today.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, terrible news.  I try not to watch the news.  It may make me a poor citizen, but I just can't deal with the negativity.  I wouldn't have ANY idea about what is going on if my husband didn't insist on enlightening me. I'll join you in sending thoughts of love and healing, though.  I feel so fortunate to be raising my kids in a place where our biggest concern is that our soccer game is too early.  I fully realize how spoiled I am.  And am so, so grateful.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

I can't deal with the raw images of tv news either, sensationalized or not. That's partly why I remain old school--newspapers for me, and a little npr in my car now and again. I feel informed but less likely to get overwhelmed that way. Though how does one not get overwhelmed by such death and destruction without being completely ignorant? I think the way we inform, educate, and protect ourselves when it comes to media is a significant piece of the modern health equation.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

Day 12

M1 swirly quiche, 8:15

M2 chicken quarter, big green salad w tahini dressing, glass booch, 12:15

M3 broiled whitefish w curried mayo, cabbage subji, booch, 6

Exercise: 90-min yoga class, one hour walk

Beautiful day here. Woke up early and got myself to the farmers market for a nice haul. Loads of curly kale for chips, salad greens, a giant cabbage, ground beef, eggs, chicken, pork tenderloin, and whitefish will all be on the menu this week. Such glorious abundance!

My pain continues to improve, though the sciatica is still there. I'm deliberately making a cabbage subji with turmeric to help reduce inflammation. So tasty, too!

Got my referral yesterday for physical therapy but couldn't get an appointment until the 28th. I did make the mistake of looking at the number on the scale, however, and it was higher than I expected. Of course by the time I stepped on the scale, I'd eaten two meals, one of which was quite salty, drunk loads of water and salty bone broth--AF is looming, and I actually feel slimmer and that my clothes are fitting better. So, I'm doing my best to let it go, but dang if that scale isn't a doozy. I detest the power it has over me!

I'm glad I've committed to not changing a thing for thirty days. To stick with my experiment and keep moving forward.

Show last night went well, and I had many friends in the audience which is always nice.

Yoga at 10, lots of reading and writing and maybe an afternoon bike ride or walk is on the anti-schedule before call tonight at 7. I hope it's a lovely Saturday for you!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

Day 13

M1 quiche, 8:30

M2 sardines, cabbage subji, kale chips, blueberries (local AND organic, woot). 1:45

M3 pork tenderloin kebab, steamed broccoli w ghee and rw vinegar, booch, 7

Exercise: 90-min bike ride

Chugging right along. Thinking today might be a grilling day.

UPDATE: it was indeed a grilling day. In fact I did the sort of cookup the likes of which my kitchen hasn't seen since perhaps my first w30 in April 2013. Citrus Pork kebabs w orange and cucumber, WF best chicken, burgers, and though not on the grill, a new swirly crustless quiche with slightly different ingredients. I'm more than set for protein this week.

Also, AF arrived. Puts everything (by that I mean mood swings, scale madness, and wild cravings--to which I did not give in, I might add) in perspective.

And most importantly: I RODE MY BIKE! For the first time this year, if you can effing believe that. OMG it felt so good. Rode for 90 minutes through the city to my favorite trail along the river, through woods and fields and hills, and back. Absolutely gorgeous. Exhilarating. My ass is seriously gonna hurt tomorrow. And I am physically exhausted in a way I haven't been since all this pain w my back and hip began. This feels like a very positive turning point, though I'm not going to say that for fear I might jinx it. ;)

Kitchen is clean and so am I. Think I'll sleep well tonight, friends.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.