LadyM's seduction continues (sur son propre velo)


LadyM

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Day 14

M1 quiche, 6

M2 quiche, 9

M3 pork kebab nibbles (tenderloin, orange, cucumber), 1

M4 chicken breast, cabbage subji, booch, 5

Exercise: 10 laps/30 min freestyle

Fell asleep just fine before 10 and then woke up at 2:30. Laid in bed awhile trying to get back to sleep, then trolled the internet on my phone, placed an order w us wellness meats, then just got the hell up. Meditated, breakfasted, read the paper, then fell back asleep until 9, and had a very colorful performance nightmare:

I ran into my provost/boss in the parking lot during an intermission and he criticized me for my sour puss over the past year at work. I apologized and offered that I'd felt diminished by having a promotion dangled in front of me but then withheld for a while, though it ultimately came through and I was grateful (true story). He said it was always going to happen and I needn't have worried. "I mean, you belong here, not on Broadway," he said and kind of smirked. I took it as criticism of my acting rather than as a desire to keep me as a professor and writer. That exchange made me late, then I couldn't find my costumes and I didn't know my lines or my costume changes, and an understudy went out for me. I heard her getting notes from an assistant director. "You've got to be bigger," he said. I knew she couldn't fill my shoes. But now that I write it I'm thinking about my largesse and physical form. Hmmmmm.

I was ravenous at 2:30 when I first woke up, and was still hungry after m1 but just decided to leave it. Ravenous again when I arose at 9, so I ate another meal. Maybe I'll be satiated for a while now.

Thinking swimming at noon and either a walk or bike ride after dinner, depending. Big heat wave this week, so I'm also thinking I'll take off for the beach at some point. Another big first for this summer! I figure there's 6 weeks left and I'm going to savor every moment.

Oh, also, my grill had its last rodeo with yesterday's cookup. I noticed a gas leak in the line near the front that just about melted off the knobs. No wonder it was heating erratically. Anyway, I put it on the curb and someone picked it up within 20 minutes. Now I do truly need a new grill. I prefer gas and something fairly simple. I don't really need any bells and whistles or multiple tiers. Any suggestions?

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I love the name swirly quiche. :) 

 

Congrats on making it past the AF madness.  Hormones sure to throw us for a loop, don't they?  It's great to be aware of it so we can resist.

 

So glad you got out on your bike!  I hope the pain contines to diminish.

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Ugh for sleeplessness and bad dreams!

 

We have a Weber and love it.  We got it as a wedding gift, so it is about twelve years old.  And we use it a lot, probably about 4-5 times a week all year long.  I do believe we replaced grates at some point.

 

Get thee to the beach!  And enjoy for me.   ;)

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Hmm. I'm sorry about that exchange with your boss. That would take over my brain for a few days!

I have to go back and read about your experiment. I've been eating haphazardly and I want calm and focus and keep toying with another whole30 but I'm not quite feeling it.

Yay for the bike ride. My bike was at MIL's since our bike rack almost ripped our trunk door off last summer. Finally got it back a couple weeks ago. It was glorious to ride it!

One night I took it out to get a bottle of wine, kid seat on the back. It was threatening to storm and the rain started down on my way home. It felt amazing on a humid night, flying through the rain on my bike.

I've been horrible about my zenhabits changes. I hope you are finding some peace with it.

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Jen, the swirly bit is legit--you put it all in a baking dish and then make little swirls in the mix so it comes out pretty!

Thanks for the weber tip, Sara. I'm going to go have a look at a few this week.

Beets, the exchange was only in the dream. The promotion and how it went down was for real! Funny that I'm doing a w30 and the zen habits stuff without naming it. Maybe there's something to the freedom of it that helps me follow through. I don't know. But I had a funny epiphany among my grief and it had to do with two mirrors I hung up on my walls that were my mom's. I decided that whenever I look at my reflection in them I'll see myself through her loving eyes. The woman had her flaws, but she loved me extravagantly and unconditionally. If I could recreate just a smidge of that in myself, I'd be all the better for it. That got me thinking about how true love allows space for the beloved to take risks and fail--you generously and unquestioningly create a soft place for them to land. You don't berate or belittle them; you help them reassess, process, and move on. That's what I've done with my significant others, my beloved friends, my students, etc. Now I'd like to consciously do that for myself.

Pretty good outcome from a couple of wall hangings I'd put off for 9 months, huh?

All right. Swimming done, I'm headed to the beach to bare my curvy belly!

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Oh. Ha! So much for reading comprehension.

Love that epiphany. I will try to think of that too.

I guess I have been steering myself back towards whole-ing and clearing my clutter. Mostly I've been reading a lot of zenhabits stuff on debt. More on that some other time.

My friends were just in Israel visiting his family. They were profoundly disturbed by the situation. Obviously there was the immediate fear and danger but they said what's more disturbing is the way everyone goes about their lives when an hour away people are being killed. (Israel being the size of NJ, and surrounded on all sides by war.)

My friend was saying she had a serious revelation that everything she thought about "the conflict" is totally wrong. Her husband, Israeli, is realizing that his laid back demeanor isn't really his personality but a defense mechanism. "What can we do about it?" is apparently something people say many times a day.

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Thanks for sharing that, Beets. I cannot imagine what it must require to live through war and the threat of violence and death every single day. Thinking about it seriously puts my stress in perspective.

I also need to get a handle on my debt one of these days. Talk about a constant, albeit low grade, stressor.

I do think getting one part of one's life in order leads to getting another part in order leads to the next and so on.

Keep us posted as to your w30ing adventures. I miss hearing about your life.

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 Funny that I'm doing a w30 and the zen habits stuff without naming it. Maybe there's something to the freedom of it that helps me follow through. I don't know.

 

I found this interesting.  Just doing, rather than naming.  You are always giving me food for thought.  :)

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Day 15 (halfway through!)

M1 swirly quiche, nob of kombucha jello, 7:45

M2 grilled chicken breast, coleslaw, coconut water, 1:15

M3 meat cake, massaged kale, more jello, 6

Exercise: 90-min yoga class

Lovely couple of hours at the beach yesterday. I bared my belly shamelessly, put my body in the water, read, wrote, and relaxed. Wunderbar! I'm heading back for a full day today. Packing a picnic and everything. Might even stop on the way and get a cheap floaty. Floating in a sea of abundance is one of my positive daily visualizations, and so why not embody it?

Yesterday evening after the beach I popped over to the Apple store and got myself the littlest MacBook Air dedicated to my creative and professional writing. I am delighted about this.

I am also delighted about a slight change to my yoga retreat plans for 2015. I had decided to go to Bali in March, but then changed my mind after talking to friends who had gone and said that I needed to take at least three weeks to take in Bali and to adjust bc of the great distance. Well, I don't have a lot of time in March, but I do in the summer. So instead, I'm going to Greece in July with the same teacher, and my aim is to plan a whole trip around it. I really want to see Istanbul, for example, and maybe more of Italy. So many possibilities, and I'll have time to luxuriate, as well as a bit more time to study, plan, and save for the trip. Very excited about this! I used to travel abroad at least once a year before my mom got sick in 2009, and then I was too afraid to leave in case something happened, which often did. Anyway, this is part of me reclaiming my life and recovering from grief, if that makes any sense.

Ok, on with the day. I have salads to make and pack in a cooler. Yay, summer! (And yes, I'm enjoying the beach for you,too, Sara!)

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Day 2 at the beach, enjoy!  I can almost picture you floating around in your lake of abundance.  Aaahhhh!!

 

Your trip does sound amazing.  I love traveling.  My husband and I went to Rome when we were dating and since that trip I would love to get back and see more of Italy.  There are so many truly amazing places out there.  I believe my son and I will be going to Ireland next summer to visit my sister.  Reclaiming something that you love and that is important to you is a great thing.

 

One hint, if you are going to invest in that Weber and want to keep it pretty, get the cover.  Ours looked good until the cover got beat up and we stopped using it.  Now our grill looks beat up, but still works great.

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Day 16

M1 swirly quiche, 9

M2 pork kebabs, avocado, kale chips, 1:15

M3 beefcake, sweet potato fries, cucumber slices, raspberries, kombucha jello, 5

Exercise: 10 laps/30 min swim, 90-min bike ride

Lovely long day at the beach properly tuckered me out and set me up for a solid good night's sleep. It was a pretty windy, though hot, day, so when I did linger in the water, I felt the waves take command of my body. Such a primal experience. A return to the womb. A connectedness to all earthly and celestial things that create waves. Powerful. Time in nature, man. Could potentially heal all things.

It struck me that my intention this summer to slow down and never be in a hurry is coming to fruition. And a friend noted that we have as much summer ahead of us as we do behind us, so no need to whine about the end of summer. A nice reminder.

Feeling especially dreamy today, so I'm keen to lollygag in that space, capture it on the page.

Though I do have a few other things on the docket. Chiro, fmd, local market, clean the kitchen, swim if the rain holds off. Also wanted to document that I checked in with that nutrition app I've been playing with and discovered that I'm right on target, even with my beach day picnic and carton of coconut water to keep me cool and hydrated. And my last tsh test has it at the very lowest end of normal, which means I should be able to lose fat. A pound per week would be stellar, but I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and see what comes of it. I think the best thing, really, is to just accept where I am in this moment, do my best with the knowledge and limitations I have, and release expectations. I know I keep saying this, but I like to remind myself when I'm feeling it more than the struggle.

Update: interesting appt with fmd today turned up that my blood sugar is a little out of whack which might be causing or at least contributing to my mood swings. She did some work on my pancreas, encouraged me to add back some starchy veg once in a while (hence the sweet potato at dinner plus raspberries), and increased one of my supplements. Things are always changing, no?

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I'm glad you had a nice day at the beach and good sleep! 

 

It's hard not to feel like summer is almost over.  Good reminder to slow down and enjoy it. 

 

Good reminder to yourself to accept where you are, keep doing what you know is good for you, and see what happens. 

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So happy to hear about days on the beach.  We just scheduled one for early August with some friends.  I'm excited.

 

Hope your day stays as relaxed as you'd like.  And yes, let's not waste these summer days fretting that summer is almost over.  Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

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Thanks for the encouragement, Jen. I hope you can enjoy the second half of summer as well!

Have a wonderful beach day, yourself, Sara! I'm meeting up with friends in Philly in August to join them at their beach house in Rehoboth down the shore. It's my annual summer highlight! And thanks for the advice on the grill cover. It's another $50, but will be necessary considering winter.

Derval, my Irish bestie Aisling (a fellow Dubliner), used to always holiday in Greece, and it's one of the reasons I want to go see it for myself. This particular retreat is in a fairly remote spot, Eftalou, on the island of Lesvos. Very near gorgeous beaches and an old hammam, a couple of km from a proper village. I'll definitely be looking into other places in Greece to explore. I expect lots of heaven on earth which is almost always what I encounter in my travels.

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Day 17

M1 swirly quiche, 9:30

M2 beefcake w awesome sauce, kale chips, 1:45

M3 grilled chicken breast, Asian rainbow slaw, kombucha jello, 4:30

Exercise: 10 laps/30 min freestyle, 90-minute walk

Woke up at 5:30 for yoga and my body said NO WAY. So, I went back to sleep and didn't wake up again until 9:30 when the fedex guy rang the doorbell with a delivery from US Wellness. Nothing like being greeted first thing by a giant box of meat!

I was in bed by 10 and asleep by 10:30, I'd say, so that was a long sleep! I think the bike ride last night did me in. It was wonderful, of course, but as I carefully increase activity, no doubt my body will need additional rest and recovery--and I aim to honor that.

Not sure what, exactly, I'll do with the rest of the day, though part of me is being pulled back to the beach since the forecast is dismal through the weekend and today is lovely. Though it's usually wicked windy, prohibitively so, before storms threaten, so I might be better off staying close to home, cleaning and writing. Good writing day yesterday. That makes everything better.

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Woot for long sleeps and waking up to a big box of meat!  And double woot for a great writing day!

 

My sister used to rent a place in Lewes, DE which is very close to Rehoboth.  We would usually drive to the Rehoboth boardwalk to take the kids on the rides.  She hasn't gotten a place this summer or last and I miss it.  Enjoy your time on the East Coast.  Is the Atlantic coast very different from the beach on the lake?  When we flew out to San Francisco and drove up the coast to Mendocino, I was shocked by how different the Pacific coast was from the Atlantic.  They are so amazingly different.

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Hurray for sleep! It was hot (by irish standards) last night so didn't have a great night. I am using a Fitbit Flex these days & it shows when you were "restless" - 11 times last night!! But at least we don't have to get up at 7am for school, so I'm grand.

Enjoy your box o'meat :)

Re Greece, I'm not sure if it's be too far for you but we visted the island of Spinalonga and it was amazing...You should read The Island by Victoria Hislop, it's based there.

x

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I was shocked by how different the Pacific coast was from the Atlantic as well having grown up on Long Island beaches. Our beaches in Washington are not really sandy at all...mostly dirt. Totally different experience and quite a drive for those of us on this side of the pudget sound.

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Well, the Great Lakes have always provided home beaches for me, especially on Lake Michigan. Even as a kid growing up in Texas, my mom and I would make an annual pilgrimage to visit her family in Wisconsin and we'd vacay in Door County. We also spent plenty if time on the Gulf of Mexico from Galveston, Corpus Christie, and Padre Island in Texas. Since then I've lived on both the East and West Coasts of the US and spent considerable time on both the East and West coasts of Ireland--within spitting distance of the Irish Sea and the Atlantic from that side of things. Lake Michigan is wonderful because the sandy beaches and dunes are gorgeous and the water is fresh, so you don't get that sticky feeling that you get from sea water. But nothing beats the smell of the ocean. Every beach is wonderful in its own way--even the pebble beaches of Croatia and the French Riviera that took some serious getting used to. The point is proximity to water and the expansiveness that brings.

And yes, that Rehoboth Boardwalk is magical--a step out of time. And my friends are in their 50s and grew up going to Rehoboth every summer, so it's such a joy to hear their stories about the place. I hope you get back there, Sara!

Always love a good book rec, Derval. Thank you! I will definitely read it. Reading about places has always inspired my travel. Also, I don't know if I'd want the data on my restlessness. What do you do with that information?

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Always love a good book rec, Derval. Thank you! I will definitely read it. Reading about places has always inspired my travel. Also, I don't know if I'd want the data on my restlessness. What do you do with that information?

 

Ha, I do nothing, just go "well would you look at that!" I just wear the band 24/7, it's the steps taken info I'm most interested in.

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Day 18

M1 quiche, bone broth with gelatin, 9

M2 chicken breast, sesame cuke noodles, carrot, banana, 1:30

M3 beefcake w awesome sauce, kale chips, swpot curls, kombucha, 6

Exercise: 45 min freestyle laps

Had a gorgeous walk last night and all kinds of writing ideas arrived for me. Love it when that happens. So, turning it into pages is what's on the agenda today, along with a performance tonight. It's looking pretty gray right now, so we'll see about swimming and other outdoor activities. Definitely stretching my back and leg. Chiro was talking steroid shots and surgery after a certain amount of time, and I really want to avoid all that if at all possible. Yikes!

I'm adding to my overall experiment gelatin in the morning and evening in the hopes that it will aid recovery in my back and maybe even make my skin nicer. The kombucha jello is kind of fun and tasty, and the other dissolvable but not gelling kind in my bone broth is pretty tasteless. I'll just keep it up a while and see if there are discernible benefits.

Happy Friday, y'all!

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