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LadyM's seduction continues (sur son propre velo)


LadyM

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I keep coming back to the no alcohol idea. When I look back at March and April (after my Feb whole) I think what threw me this time was the way I jumped right back in with the alcohol. You are so right about the sugar/alcohol, and I recall an old favorite read: Potatoes not Prozac, written by a former alcohol counselor who went on to treat people with sugar addictions. They are tightly related and act in the same way on the brain. Of course you know this, I am reminding myself--for the eight billionth time! 

 

I think maybe I just can't drink. I keep saying that but hoping it's not true because I do enjoy a nice cold glass of white wine on a hot day, or a glass of red with a steak. Yum. But the daily glass of wine: I just cannot do it. On top of all the other reasons, it makes the occasional glass of wine just not that special or enjoyable. I think post my whole drinking white wine felt fun in a naughty way, the damaged child inside me was really digging that feeling of being "bad." But now it just feels BLERGH and I'm waking up with a brain fog every day. 

 

Anyway. I'm catching up with what's been going on with you. I like your idea of getting back to template eating. I need to forget about making deals with myself for lengths of time for a mini whole and just focus on three solid template meals a day. 

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Jen, I found the hot power yoga soulless and aggravating. Very little variation among the different classes and the instructors generally gave almost no corrections or even cues about form. But the warmth and stretching did feel good for the most part. Too much forward bending after six hours of driving, though.

 

Beets! If I told myself "I just can't drink," that would definitely rouse my inner rebel. I'm thinking of it as an experiment rather than a forever restriction and that makes me curious rather than anxious. It's really interesting to observe my cravings and responses in trigger situations. I definitely feel more boring in group settings, and I'm realizing the greater depths of my introversion. And that is just the cherry on top of never waking up with pain or fog or regret. For now, anyway. I like the idea of deliberately not drinking as a respite for my body from having to metabolize those particular toxins. Giving it a fighting chance to continue to heal.

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It must just be that studio.  My hot power classes are anything but soulless and we get great cues and corrections, though it varies by teacher.  I'm sorry you had a bad experience.

 

I also find that thinking of something like W30 as an experiment rather than something I can't do helps a ton!

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I wish I was on when you were debating the outfit. Your outfit sounded great. My friend has the most amazing emerald green chiffon dress that was her grandmother's from the 60s. It's the most divine fabric I've ever seen.

 

Next time: jumpsuit! I frigging love that jumpsuits are back. I wore one for my brother's wedding and it was fab. I felt so comfy but also stylish. But you know I hate baring my legs. :) 

 

Biz casual is the worst dress code ever. The widest berth of any dress code. It's like worse than giving no information because it can be interpreted in a million ways. 

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Good thoughts on the booze. Very helpful. Last night I had my nightmare non-intentional marathon kid activity afternoon where I shuttle my son from school (which he can barely handle) art class to baseball and we are all weeping by the time we get home. I was complaining about it to another mom the other dyad she said, "I hope you have a nice glass of wine at the end of that." 

 

And last night when I got home I did have a glass of wine. It's like I am so weak-willed I use someone else's power of suggestion? Or I just use any excuse I can find. I have noticed about myself that I will take any excuse I can get for eating stuff that makes me feel bad. Hmmm. 

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Yup. The allure of the glass of wine and the mythical promises of relaxation we imbue it with are so seductive we forget about the ill effects. Such a slippery slope. 

 

While a Whole isn't a good choice right now, perhaps stringing together a bunch of alcohol-free days full of template meals and meditation would be. . . .  ;)  Sometimes it's all about how we frame something, no?

 

I would really like to get back to meditation myself. It's fallen by the wayside, unfortunately. I'm such a happier human when it's part of my routine, and unfortunately, though my life is full of all kinds of other positive daily routines, no yoga and no mediation is no bueno. It's a real void.

 

But you know what? One thing at a time is just fine. I'm not going to put any more pressure on myself to achieve one more damn thing until graduation.

 

Speaking of which, I'm seriously considering having a drink graduation weekend. I'm hosting the commencement speaker, a big deal writer with whom I've developed a friendship, and I might want to have a drink with him. I'm not sure, but I'm allowing for the possibility. 

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I've decided I'm back to weighing for a bit until I'm back in a happier weight range. The good news is I'm down nearly a pound this week from last and that includes my weekend of sushi and relaxing a bit with food. So, I'm feeling good about my plan and that it can move things in the right direction.

 

Walked to and from work yesterday and today. Also did bootcamp and barre today. Activity is good. 

 

Sticking to the food plan pretty well, though I did get into my emergency stash at work and downed an epic bar and some primal pac beef jerky. So hungry mid afternoon. That's OK. It was genuine hunger. I fed myself. And then I got through barre just fine and followed it with dinner. A very nice dinner, in fact. Finally made the shrimp mango avocado salad I've been meaning to have over romaine and added some baked sweet potato fries of which I can't seem to get enough lately.

 

Didn't get quite as much sleep as is optimal, so I'll be hitting the hay early and sleeping to my heart's content tonight. So lovely. Oh how I luxuriate in a long sleep.

 

I have a free and open weekend on the horizon and no work to speak of. I can't remember the last time this happened. I would like to clean my house and play outside. Maybe have some fun in the kitchen and read for pleasure. Sounds positively divine. I am such a lucky girl. and that's all before remembering I have a massage at 2 p.m. tomorrow to kick it all off after barre and an appearance at work. Life is good.

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Excellent massage yesterday followed by a delicious long sleep. The MT affirmed that my body composition has changed completely since she started working on me last fall and that I've made extraordinary strength gains. I needed to hear that. I'm in a place where I can only see how far I have to go without any sights on how far I've come.

 

After a couple hours of early morning reading, had a good barre class followed by a lovely rainy visit to the farmers' market and then a long walk with a dear friend I hadn't connected with in a very long time. He gave me three very beautiful enormous area rugs, too, and they've transformed my living space in the nicest way. Such a lovely surprise! Then made a quick and delicious fish and veggie curry for lunch.

 

So far the weekend is off to a terrific start. I just want to slow down time. Luxuriate in every moment.

 

OK. Back to it! Hope everyone else is enjoying every moment. . . . 

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I am so glad it's June. Feels like a fresh start somehow. I started a new journal today, too, and I think that adds to the feeling of new beginnings.

 

The weekend continued in the fashion it began. Sunday I read to my heart's content, watched a movie, put up a bunch of ferments (sauerkraut, cultured carrots, beet kvass--all in brand new 1/2 gallon ball jars, exciting!), fed myself delicious things such as baked tostones (thank you, Nadia, for the plantain inspiration) dipped in salsa and guac with eggs and a fresh batch of cauliflower rice tabouleh. Then I walked to a dinner with students (this time of year is full of those) and made a quick stop at the co-op. Treated myself to some cream top yogurt and coconut date balls (god love them for selling these in baggies of three). It was exactly what I was craving and stopped at one. I love it when that happens. The yogurt, though, seemed to make my hands swell. Interesting. I think I have more of a dairy problem than I thought. Whey seems to be OK, so maybe it's a casein issue. I'll keep an eye on it.

 

Barre this morning, bootcamp this evening, and walking to and from work in between if the rain holds off. My ideal activity day. Though I've started working in some yoga and foam rolling before bed, too. 

 

Roasted beets, tabouleh, awesome sauce, duck egg casserole with nettles (fun new cooking experiment), chicken meatballs, and loads of salad and stir fry fixins mean a week of easy food ahead. Happy days. That's the plan.

 

Cheers to a lovely start to a new month!

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It sounds like you had a truly lovely weekend, good for you!

 

I'm excited for June as well, son finishing up school, trip to Ireland, sun and fun!  (maybe not so much sun in Ireland, but I'll keep my fingers crossed  ;) )

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What a wonderful weekend!  You made the most of it, for sure!  I'm happy for June, too.  The kids will be done with school and so bed times and homework and wake ups and lunch making and all of that ends.  It's a more relaxed time for mom, too, because of all of that! 

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Good session with FMD yesterday. She confirmed that my thyroid is holding steady and discovered that my liver needs some different support. She agrees that it's time to give myself a break from any and all cleanses and just let my body do its thing. She also noted that my body has a tendency to have stagnant lymph fluid, which is partly why my weight can fluctuate so dramatically, and it also makes activity even more important. Gotta work on keeping it moving. Suggests to me that my proclivity for massage is also a very good thing in this regard. When I asked her if I should start rebounding to help with the lymph flow, she said, "But you already do so much activity. More isn't necessarily going to help." It was a good reminder that there are limits to what we can do to effect change. That's a tough one for me, but I'm getting closer toward acceptance all the time.

 

Yesterday was another hungry day, but it makes sense. I walked everywhere, I did an intense barre class, and I did a tough bootcamp workout. More activity requires more fuel. Duh. Playing with pre and post workout food again. Trying out BP coffee for pre 6am bootcamp and following it with a green tea "latte" made with whey. This morning my trainer explained why IF tends to work for men but not for women: since we have less muscle, we have less glycogen stores, so not eating breakfast is a stressor and throws our hormones out of whack.

 

Thinking about adding a bootcamp class Wednesday evenings. That would make four per week and five barre classes a week. Right now my biggest concern with that is my wrists. All the planks and pushups are really fatiguing my wrists. Maybe they'll get stronger? I hope so. I just signed up for unlimited summer barre classes. Pretty thrilled about that. The core strength I'm building makes everything easier. Gotta love that.

 

All right. On with the day. Teaching my last class until January. Wow. I hadn't realized that until I just wrote it. Very exciting. Now starting to think about shifting my goals to writing. I've got the body stuff in a good place for the moment. Now it's time to tend to something equally important that I've neglected. I picked up a couple new freelance gigs, which is cool, but I have to make sure I'm still making time and space for working on my manuscript. One hour a day devoted to ass in chair for that purpose is my June goal. No matter what else is going on.

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Sounds like a great meeting with your FMD!  Confirming you're doing the right things.  Be careful not to overdo the exercise.  Your wrists will get stronger, but don't overdo it while you're working up to it.  Like FMD said, more isn't necessarily better...  I want to try barre.  I don't think we have any near me, though.  Last class until January!  Wow! 

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Nothing until January? Are you taking a sabbatical?

 

It's a pre-tenure leave in the fall. So, yes, kind of an abbreviated sabbatical.

 

 

Wrists will definitely get stronger.

 

OK, that's good. It's weird, though, because I've been doing barre consistently since December. Maybe it's the addition of bootcamp back into the mix at the end of April? Plus all the grading I'm doing--both hand written and on the keyboard. So much repetitive motion. MT gave me some good stretches for the wrists and forearms, but I'm not sure the stretching is doing much. She actually said there was some arthritis in my pinky, probably from rolling it during planks. So, working on solid four-points form with my hands.

 

 

Be careful not to overdo the exercise.  Your wrists will get stronger, but don't overdo it while you're working up to it.  Like FMD said, more isn't necessarily better...  I want to try barre.  I don't think we have any near me, though. 

 

Thanks for the reminder, Jen. I hope you get a chance to try barre. I find it to be such a great complement to yoga. Really builds strength where you need it so as not to slip into the hyper mobility that cause injury in yoga (for me, anyway). Plus, I love having the opportunity to be so very focused for an hour a day in a way that isn't intellectual. 

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Also, try to pay more attention to the position of your wrists doing the exercise. You might be unnecessary loading them and not helping with engaging your shoulders and back muscles. I had the same thing but I had it corrected with the coach. 

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OK, so I asked for feedback on my plank form and the instructor called everyone over to look at me because "this is what your plank should look like, everyone." So, I guess my form is good. She did suggest that I could do them on balled up fists, knuckles down, because my wrists are actually very strong. It's just the strain on the bent joint that's troubling me. So, I'll play with it.

 

Late work night threw off my sleep schedule just a bit, but I still got the hours rest I needed. Lots of writing to do today. Barre. Bootcamp, if I can squeeze it in this evening. Walking. The usual. 

 

I did not get my ass in chair yesterday for an hour, and I'm thinking that I may need to begin that challenge after graduation. I'm juggling so many other paid writing assignments and college work right now, why add to my stress? One thing at a time, M. One thing at a time. It all adds up eventually. I just need to make sure the most important thing doesn't always fall to the bottom of the to-do list, as it has for so long.

 

I ate a lot of fruit yesterday, which is pretty rare for me anymore. I noticed gas and belly bloat by late afternoon, and I didn't care for it at all. Now I have new motivation to cut fruit back if not out. Though I also think cauliflower gives me digestive distress, and I had a helping of my tabouleh yesterday with lunch. Every day is a new adventure. I really do best with greens and starchy veg and lean protein and a little fat. But a gal can't live on that alone forever. I have broccoli to prepare as well. I'm thinking it's probably a good idea to simply eat these cruciferous veggies with M3. :rolleyes:

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Plank star!  Glad to hear your form is good, so at least you don't have to worry about that.

 

Graduation is right around the corner, so get those paid assignments done so that you can get on that 1 hour a day.

 

Our bodies keep us guessing, that's for sure.  I'm having some changes in the regularity department and wondering if it has anything to do with going off my antihistamines (for allergy testing on Friday).

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Fun that you had show off able form! 

 

Agree that it's a good idea to give yourself a break until after graduation.  No sense adding stress.

 

I'm with you on the cauli and broc.  I am not going to give them up, but knowing that they cause bloat is good.  At least I know what I'm getting myself into.

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