Calee's Getting Road Ready!

[Beets]

Calee, first thanks for periodically checking in on me. Maybe I needed a break from logging but it didn't serve me well and I'm back on the horse.

75 days is a great run. And of course you ended with a clean A+ template day.

Lots of good things: your date, your clothes fitting well, your confidence and joy. You are a dependable ray of light! I aspire to be more like you.

As Nadia said, the problem with sugar is that it makes you crave more. For days. Knowing this intellectual fact doesn't seem to help me feel less guilty about not being able to climb out if my little snacky hole. But I do need to be a little more gentle with myself. Being hard on myself doesn't help me get where I want to be.

[pjena]

Great A+++ day!

 

Any reactions from the tomatoes?

[calee]

Beets, I'm so clear about not wanting to introduce sugar products. Even a square of dark chocolate led to eventually 2 a day. That was back in Aprl pre-75. But it's more the mental gyration. Should I? Shouldn't I? There is absolutely no downside to being gentle with yourself. that looks different for each of us. For me, kindness is abstaining from foods that consume a lot of mental energy.

Jen, no reaction to the cherry tomatoes! I will know more in a few days but I will et them daily and see.

[calee]

I slept great but not enough. A bit tired but no problem. Full day today. Work, Pilates and a few errands after Pilates. Probably leave t 6:45 and get home tonight at 8 for dinner. I expect my every to remain consistent. What a charm that is,

Bites:

1. Sautéed cabbage, chopped liver

2. Big salad with a bit of salmon and an egg yolk, EVOO, cherries

3. More liver, salad, cherries

Feels like a good plan!

[calee]

Theres something about giving myself permission to off road if I want, that has taken the emotional charge off of it. That said, I haven't been to Sunday's company picnic yet, or a party etc. that will be the true telling.

Today was another template day. Changed up my dinner to salad with salmon and 1/2 cup of sweet potato with ghee and cinnamon with a few cherries. Pilates was good. Nothing exciting. Time for bed.

[calee]

I have to go to Sexual Harrasment training class this morning. Twenty people all eating crap for 2.5 hours. I think they are serving Subway Sandwiches for lunch. There's always chips and sweets around. Not gonna happen. I will eat a hearty chicken thigh and green beans for breakfast. Take 1/2 cup of blueberries in case I am overcome with hand to mouth party action. I will eat lunch back in my office. Salad with salmon on it. A few cherries.

Tomorrow is an 8 hour meeting but only 7 of us. The last two daylong meetings I was on my W75 so no bagels caffeine etc. While I have been giving myself permission to off road this week, I haven't had the desire. I think tomorrow I will plan a strict template day because I easily succumb to treats in the day long meeting. I survived the previous two, I can do tomorrow clean.

Pilates at 6 tonight!

[Nadia B]

•  

  Nadia, I'm feeling a lovely quiet peace and appreciation. Why the heck should loving ourselves take effort? Where do we little girls get messed up along the way to growing up to think that it's acceptable to hate our bodies rather than appreciating them for all of its brilliance. When I stop and think of all the things my body does for me, I'm speechless!

_______

 

Exactly, Calee. Economy of anything sold to women is based on the idea of necessity of being perfect 24/7. Girls feel guilty, bad or like they are not trying enough because they are not so flawless. Well, this image is designed to make us bad and guilty, so we spend money. Sad, but that's the market. Good news - it's a skill not talent, so we can master it. Next step - never stop loving ourselves when we don't feel that good. To love the real self. 

 

I hate office meetings. Smell, chewing people and hand to mouth motions. I read a while ago that our stomach starts secret the juice even when we think of certain food. So, any food around will urge our tummy to work. I hope you will stay strong. Here is the piece that Beets (and I) liked so much. I think it will help you tomorrow while surrounded with "meetings food". Article. 

[Physibeth]

Stay strong in those meetings Calee! You can do it! I've been so very impressed with your entire journey! 

[calee]

Thanks Beth!

Nadia, you always have such wise words for such a young scamp! Thanks for posting that link. I'm going to go read it right now.

Today was an A+++++ day. I made it perfectly through the meeting. We didn't bring in lunch but we did bring in bagels. Someone sitting next to me left 1/2 of a bagel on a plate in front of me. No calling to me at all. We went late and I did munch on the few blueberries that I brought from home, such a better choice. I ate my salad when I to back to the office at 2. Pilates class was great. My balance doing standing lunges on the reformer are getting better.

Tomorrow morning I have blood work at 8, then a meeting from 9-5. Again I'll be staring down those darn bagels. I'll have to make sure to eat some breakfast after blood work. Since I'm not doing a Whole, I will again take a few blueberries for when I get hungry. Tomorrow is only 7 of us and they all nosh bagels all morning and don't need lunch till 2. That's difficult or me.

Happy for another clean day.

[LadyM]

Ugh, bagels. They're one of the dumbest food items I ever used to eat. Are they really that tasty? No. It's the fatty delicious things we put on them that are delicious. When I think of bagels I think of the bloat and farts they give me and it puts me off any possible inkling that one might be good. Bread of any kind used to be my biggest binge/trigger food. But now I think, "Why would I eat that? There's zero nutritional value!"

 

Maybe a protein-rich snack could help stave off hunger even more than the berries. I've noticed myself reaching for fruit as a snack and I fear it's a slippery slope (for me).

 

Congrats on your W75. You're doing beautifully, lady. And WOOT for increased strength and balance. I'm so glad you gifted yourself those classes through October. Just think how strong and balanced you'll be by the end!

[Terresa]

I used to love bagels.  Had about 5 per week, whole-grain, of course.     Until I couldn't eat grains without setting my stomach on fire.  That cured me.  

 

Isn't it awesome when old habits have no power?  

[Physibeth]

I gave up bagels long before I gave up grains. For the wrong reason of course. I bought Paleo Cooking from Elana's Pantry and it has a grain free bagel recipe in it that I sort of would like to try. I'm saving it for a special occasion though.

 

Keep rocking it Calee!

[calee]

LadyM, Terresa, Beth. Hello wonderful women! Yes, it was easy to avoid the bagels. LadyM, you're right it was the lovely fatty stuff that I loved too, but anything flour is/was a huge draw for me.

I had a great day. Got a crap load of bloodwork drawn. Happy my glucose is 82. My cholesterol is creeping back up. UGH. Good meeting, ate well walked the lake, went to see Fruitvale Station. Hung out with a girlfriend. Nice packed day with no off road eating. My fridge is bare. Dinner was the dregs of leftovers. Will have to shop and cook sometime this weekend for next week.

I haven't had as much time as I like to stay caught up on how everyone is doing.

My TSH test just came back. 1.32. My meds must be the right dosage. They haven't been adjusted in 2 years, just test to make sure the dose is correct.

[Beets]

Oh dear. I do love bagels. But I also live in Brooklyn and we have really good bagels. They are delicious, chewy and satisfying with nothing on them. Granted, they make me sick. So I'm not eating them anymore. But I do enjoy a good bagel. Pumpernickel right out of the oven? Yum. Salty and chewy.

I did enjoy that article and then I ate ice cream yesterday, making myself sick and making my psoriasis flare. Maybe I need to get back to hypnosis or something. I can't get back to a place where I'm making good choices. Calee, it seems so effortless for you. It's inspiring but also makes me wonder what is wrong with me that I struggle so much to pause before putting things in my mouth.

[Beets]

I also came across this LA Times Book Review piece on Diebenkorn (http://www.latimes.com/features/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-the-unknown-richard-diebenkorn-20130717,0,5792111.story?track=rss&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&dlvrit=717819) and thought of you.

[Physibeth]

Not to hijack Calee's thread but...

 

 I can't get back to a place where I'm making good choices. 

 

I've come to realize that when I believe that for myself it is a self fulfilling prophecy. We tend to become what we are most focused on. tell yourself each morning that you can and will make good choices and focus on that. 

 

Whenever I start focusing on a bad decision I could make I usually end up making it. Whenever I have the thought and then redirect my focus it is gone.

[Beets]

Truth! Thank you. I will focus on that today.

Thinking big picture about the last month or so, I've gotten away from my meditations and positive thoughts, visualization. Thanks for this reminder.

[calee]

Oh dear. I do love bagels. But I also live in Brooklyn and we have really good bagels. They are delicious, chewy and satisfying with nothing on them. Granted, they make me sick. So I'm not eating them anymore. But I do enjoy a good bagel. Pumpernickel right out of the oven? Yum. Salty and chewy.

I did enjoy that article and then I ate ice cream yesterday, making myself sick and making my psoriasis flare. Maybe I need to get back to hypnosis or something. I can't get back to a place where I'm making good choices. Calee, it seems so effortless for you. It's inspiring but also makes me wonder what is wrong with me that I struggle so much to pause before putting things in my mouth.

Oh Beets, not effortless in the big scheme of things, keeping things out of my mouth. I don't know what's different with this Whole concept except forced restriction. The 30 days primed me and got rid of my trigger foods, at least temporarily. A switch went off that feeling good means a lot to me so I'm trying to hand on to it. I know that once I dip into the sugar pit things will become more difficult because cravings might be activated. I wish I could buy you a pass back into a strict 30. My years of experience have led me to the knowledge that the things I fight against the hardest are the things that bring me the most relief. I know if you could get a clean week, you'd be back to feeling better. Wasn't everything easier in some way when you weren't cycling food choices in your brain.

At my age it's a lot about wanting to be strong and healthy. I don't have a partner and kids distracting me from self nurturing. You have a lot on your proverbial plate. How's the photography? I will go and read the article you linked for me! Thank you.

[pjena]

I think your secret, Calee is the W75!  I don't think 30 days is long enough to really set the habit of eating well.  And once we stray, it's so hard!  On the W30, you just don't think about it.  It's so much easier than the constant debate in your head.  Beets - I think if you can just get back to the calm eat what you eat and not think about it place, you'll feel better.  Remember - do or do not, there is no try.  

[calee]

Not to hijack /quote]

Hijacks always welcome!

[calee]

I think your secret, Calee is the W75!  I don't think 30 days is long enough to really set the habit of eating well.  And once we stray, it's so hard!  On the W30, you just don't think about it.  It's so much easier than the constant debate in your head.  Beets - I think if you can just get back to the calm eat what you eat and not think about it place, you'll feel better.  Remember - do or do not, there is no try.

Jen, you're right. I think that it takes time away from a substance to stop missing it so much. I know that's my reluctance to reintro foods for today.

[calee]

Grateful for a good sleep and a day to look forward to.

This morning is my 4th reformer class of the week. Love going, hating doing, grateful when the hour is over, love what it's doing to my shape.

Going to J's for the first time today. He lives 40 miles away so not easy in traffic during the week. Supposed to be 95-100 so probably no hiking. He promised me ribeyes on the grill tonight so yum on that. I've only seen his dog and house on Skype so this should be fun. I'm always curious how people live.

Walking to Pilates means a stop by the farmers market on the way home. I walk through and sample refreshing fruit on the way home. I'll have a good meal 2 before heading to J's. I am giving myself permission to off road if it feels worth it.

Have I mentioned that I hate housework? I have to go wrestle the clean sheets onto the bed and put away the laundry before class.

Gotta run, have a fun Saturday!

[Nadia B]

Ca-lee, Ca-lee (chanting). You are doing so great, I love it. J is cute, hopefully the travel will be we worth it, it's got to be worth it!

Uh, house work. I wish the project D was doing with saving mom ever worked for me. I am so bad at giving housework any priority. So much to see, so much to do! I think you are the same way

Have a great Sunday! *)))

[annabel]

ooh bagels. did someone say bagels?

 

I haven't had a decent bagel in years... 3 years and 3 months and 26 days.   They haven't learned how to do bagels here yet, lots of lovely smoked salmon, but no bagels.  And no Mexican food.  Hmm, probably easier to do a W30 here.  Bagel shop and Mexican restaurant are seriously my first two stops upon hitting US soil, followed by pizza.

 

I think Jen is right about the W75, it's so much easier to stick to the rules than to have all the vagueness and choices all the time.

[calee]

Ca-lee, Ca-lee (chanting). You are doing so great, I love it. J is cute, hopefully the travel will be we worth it, it's got to be worth it!

Uh, house work. I wish the project D was doing with saving mom ever worked for me. I am so bad at giving housework any priority. So much to see, so much to do! I think you are the same way

Have a great Sunday! *)))

Nadia, the drive was totally worth it. Unfortunately J ate junk (fried chicken) for lunch and got sick at around 7 right as the charcoal was heating up. Rather than hang around watching him feel crummy I decided to come home. He sent me home with a big thik ribeye and bag of raw asparagus. The minute I got home I poked part of the ribeye. I was way to hungry to roast asparagus so I'll do that this morning. I was so glad tht I had roasted cauliflower yesterday morning for lunches. Not quite the day I imagined but we had a fun 4 hours before he got sick.

Company picnic today. I can only imagine the garbage they will serve. I think I'll eat a hearty brunch before I go. I'm not interested in water slides as I have no children. I would prefer to not go but as part of top management, it's expected. At least it's only going to be in the 70's.

This morning is cook up of roasted asparagus, sweet potato rounds and maybe sautéed cabbage. I took out some paleo chocolate chili to thaw. I don't think I've been eating enough veggies. It's not that I'm adding nuts or fruit, just skimping on those satisfying veggies. I also need more fat. Avocado goes on he grocery list for today!

Reintro. The little patch of rough skin by my nose is a little redder. I suspect the raw peppers. My tummy has been fine with beef now, raw tomatoes and I will know more about cooked tomatoes after the chili. My hands are good. No tummy bloating. All good.