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New Beginnings and Why does June Seem so Long?


Lizzard77

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Last fall, sitting in the gym of my sister's school waiting for her play to start, I was introduced to a food challenge that would reshape the way I looked at food forever.  I was chatting with a friend of my mother's, a wonderful woman who I am now happy to also be able to call friend, and I was telling her about the mysterious chronic pain I had been suffering since earlier in the year.  She mentioned to me about a friend who had begun eating paleo and was having great results.  She then said 4 magic words, "It Starts With Food". 

 

I purchased the book the very next day and began reading.  Four hours later, I had an ear marked and highlighted book that looked as if I had owned it for years.  I soaked in the information.  I made notes, grocery lists, menu plans, journaled about what I wanted from the experience.  I made plans and told people about it, selling it as if I was getting paid.  And then, I waited. 

 

I was waiting for warmer weather, for the signs of local farmer's markets to open, for my own backyard "farm" to be planted.  Meanwhile, I stocked the pantry, I looked up recipes, located and got to know my local farmer's who sell pastured meats and eggs.  I prepped as if the zombies were coming and only a Whole30 would save me.  My start date was May first and then finally, it arrived.  However, I wasn't ready, I hadn't talked to the hubinator about doing it, I had a few parties to attend etc.  I was waffling after so many months of getting ready, I couldn't do it. 

 

As the month wore on, I set my resolve, June First, Darnit, June First I will start.  I sat the hubinator down and we worked out a plan, since I do all the cooking and he isn't interested in a Whole30, I was relieved to know he supported me in this.  And then, it happened.  June First.

 

Well folks, that was 6 days ago.  Day 1 was a haze of chopping, steaming, sauteing, and eating, I ate so much that day yet felt hungry all day (funny how cravings feel like hunger).  Day 2-4 were zombie-like, sleepless, grump-fests, that I personally would not like to revisit.  However, I realistically had to examine what was, and still is, going on in my body.  I guess I was experiencing the "Carb Flu". 

 

And then, day 5 happened.  I slept through the night.....mostly, the first time in days that I had more than 2 hours sleep.  I woke up before my 7:30 alarm and jumped out of bed with my mind racing towards all the projects I want to get done today.  I exuberantly  cooked breakfast for both my self and the hubinator, eggs and cheese for him and a fried egg (in coconut oil) with red flannel hash and fermented beets for me, who's sounds tastier?!?  I felt amazing, for most of the day.  Then evening came and then night.  I saw 11:30, 1:30, 2:50, 4:30.  By the time 5:45 hit I just got up and started my day.  Now 4 hours later, I am pretty drained and truly examining my food choices over the next few days to make sure I am getting proper nutrients.  I feel heavy, I am bored with what I am eating, being an adventurous cook usually, this whole meat and veg thing is getting old.  I need a new step.  I need a shift.  I don't want to be stuck in a restless, unhappy place.  I realize this first week is not supposed all rainbows and roses but lethargy, bloating, sleeplessness?  Not quite what I expected.  The worst part of it all is I feel alone.  No one quite understands what or why or how. 

 

I know things will look up, I know I just have to hump on through and as days go by, and my body heals, I will start to feel better.  Once new habits begin to solidify and routines set in, I have faith that I will begin to see this with the eyes of the woman who devoured (no pun) ISWF back in October.  I know in a week or so the spark will again flicker and the excitement will begin to burn.  But for right now, I think I'd like to go take a nap.

 

I write a blog centered around nourishing the body both on the outside and in.  I try to educate people about more healthful ways to look at life and at food.  I have attached a link to the post I published the night before I started my Whole30.  There I write in more detail about my "mysterious chronic pain" and what the Doctor's have (or don't have) to say.  I would love for any of you to read it and if you are going through similar issues, please reach out to me.  Even if you aren't, but have some words of advice or want to connect.  I started this journey to hopefully heal my body and any friends I pick up along the way will help to heal my soul. 

A Journey of Healing

 

 

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First - you're not alone.  Talk to the people here on this Forum.  Tell us what you're eating.  Read about what other people are eating and how they're feeling. 

 

Second - Tone down the expectations / don't be so freaking hard on yourself!  Perhaps your months of planning have built things up a bit too much.  Again, talk to people here and you'll hear lots of stories about early W30 struggles.

 

Third - don't worry about trying to educate other people and being some kind of model (see also Second - don't be so hard on yourself!); just worry about the process you're undertaking for yourself.

 

Good luck!

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Goodness.  I just looked at your blog post.  I think you had yourself all psyched up for the "Ultimate Whole30".  Maybe take a break from trying to show the world how great W30 is and just focus on yourself.  Then, when you feel better, you can report back! 

 

Just my gut reaction.  I've never been a journal-er.  Others may educate me on how therapeutic it is, and I'm open to hearing about it.

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Hey guys ABS32013, thanks for your insight.  You mean I don't have to plan everything down to the minute?  This preparedness isn't normal?  Lolz.....you are right, I am too hard on myself.  I just want to do it right and in trying to do that I guess I psyched myself up into a bad place.  I will relax and breathe, promise!

 

PS. my comment abut educating peeps was in regards to my blog divorced from the W30 stuff.  I include stuff like a homemade spa day, I have a section about south indian food, foraging the wilds etc.  That type of "education", I guess would be more like information :)

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I am snuggled down in bed, my kitty curled up next to me, a hot cup of tea in my hand, and a thunderstorm outside.  All is right with the world tonight.  I have officially made it through my first week.  It's been a bunch of ups and downs and all overs but, thanks to some urging from others, I have learned to relax a bit, take it easy on my self, and have fun!  The best part of this week?

 

I am one week smoke free!!!

 

I have not gone this long without a cigarette in more years than I would like to admit. I wonder if the all or nothing approach of the W30 is what helped.  I was so determined to start my W30 that I wasn't even going to let my longtime addiction stop me.  And, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  Now that I am through the physical addiction, I have to conquer the habitual addiction, I keep catching myself not knowing what to do at a moment cause usually I would head outside for a butt.  I have begun to grab a glass of water in that moment.  No smokes and more water, win/win.  Happy day!!!

 

Looking forward to whatever next week may bring :-P

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Selene, thank you! 

 

It's kind of a big deal to me as I was one of those smokers who loved my cigarettes, absolutely did not want to quit, and only would if I got pregnant or a doc told me a lung needed to be removed.  I know that's sick but I did not envision my life as a non-smoker.  It's still gonna be a hard fought battle but come on, why would I go back after making it this far?!?

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I think I can officially change the title to "New Beginnings and June is Going to Fly By"!  Looking back at how I was feeling in the middle of the week, I can't believe I am standing here now  feeling so fabulous!  The weekend was full of fun adventures and activities that were out of my ordinary and I don't doubt that part of the reason I am feeling so great is due to that.  I do still feel a nagging lethargy and sudden moments of craving but I am starting to think I can actually do this thing! 

 

I will admit, I have been feeling like a bit of a heifer.  I began the week always hungry and am ending the weekend with little desire to eat.  Trying to regulate that but all in all am pleased with the way my meals are coming together and am pretty certain I've got the template down.  If anything, I am eating too many vegetables.  I simply have to rest easy in the fact that I am eating healthful, whole, real food and I am only eating three (not even that large) meals a day.  I no longer feel the need to have a "snack" of banana and almond butter at night, hello sugar dragon, by making sure that there is enough fat in my dinner to satiate me.  Speaking of the sugar dragon, yes ma'am he is strong in me.  This morning, after taking a sip of a new tea concoction, I stated "Wow, that was not as sweet as I hoped it would be".  My husband replied "I am going to make you a t-shirt with that on the front and Whole30 on the back, I think it's been your motto for this week".  Oh well, I knew I was going into this for a reason!

 

Even so with my quest to swypo my way into drinkable morning tea (stopped immediately once I realized what I was doing), I feel extremely accomplished for one week and continue to be amazed at how much I can and now want to live without.

 

June 10-30? Bring it on!

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Eventually I will figure out how to properly post pics, in the meantime the will either be a whisper or a scream, so here is my BREAKFAST!!!!!  Sorry to yell at you!  I will certainly be making this again.  Spanish Tortilla with sweet potato and chorizo, sauteed kale and maitake, radish picked from my garden this AM.  I might have to make this for dinner soon too!

 

tumblr_mo6hq9cFd41rvpg96o1_500.jpg

 

I am making a bunch of soups today to have along with breakfast or lunch, it's nice to have a hot cup with a big 'ol salad.  I won't make the soup my main dish, promise!  I think I'll whip up a chicken soup and a wonderful little soup I found called "Happyness Soup"  made with yellow courgette.  I have to make some modifications and will tinker with it a bit but the base and idea look really tasty.

 

Dinner will be burgers.  The hubinator has been such a trooper!  He has eaten practically every dinner I made over the last 10 days and only once did he ask if I could bake him a white potato.  Dear boy, gotta love him, so I am making hime some burgers.  Bread bun for him and either portobello or sweet potato patty bun for me.  I think I will serve beets and greens on the side with some other veggie, and fermented pickles. 

 

It's a rainy day so I think I will spend the rest of it reading and writing a new  post for my blog.  Feeling pretty good, slept really hard and absolutely didn't wat to get up.  Perhaps a nap later is in order.

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Hey Lizzard! You are doing so great. I am also super impressed you quit smoking alongside your first Whole 30!! I am a former smoker (of 10 years) and quit Jan 1, 2011. I seriously cannot imagine being a smoker ever again!  It's crazy to think that I used to be such a smoker.

 

Anyway, your food looks great and I'm happy for you that your hubs is playing along. My fiance was the same way when I did mine and then actually did a W30 of his own.

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Laura, thank you!  I am hoping the hubinator will want to do one of his own sometime, perhaps next time I do it he will join. 

 

I am sort of in the in between stages about smoking.  I am so glad to be free of it and to actually have made it this far but honestly, I miss it.  I am pretty sure that is the habit talking and by the time 3 more weeks go by it won't be so hard.  Great for you for quitting as well, I have heard it's harder to do than quitting heroine.

 

Thanks for stopping by!

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Well folks, I have some serious news.  Something has happened that has not happened in many, many a year.  I thought it would never happen, I thought I was doomed to a Groundhog Day existence. I had given in, thrown in the towel.  But wait, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.......

 

I slept through the night!!!!!!

 

It was however, a short sleep.  I had troubles falling asleep, and did so somewhere between 12 and 12:30.  I slept until 5:30, which is a bit early for me to get up but I woke up feeling rested and ready to face my day, even at the butt-crack of dawn :)  So I actually got 5 hrs of un-interrupted sleep.  It's a blasted miracle!  Let's keep this trend going shall we?

 

In other news, I am finally getting some of my energy back.  I can sustain projects around the house for longer than 1/2 hr before feeling like collapsing into bed.  It's nice because the place was getting away from me which leads to more feelings of unrest.  I can't think when my environment is out of sorts. 

 

My rhythms are settling into a new pattern as well, meal times are finding their places and I am losing all desire to snack.  I never thought THAT would change, I love(d) to snack and have always been a grazer and 5 small meals type of eater.  I could just slowly turn breakfast into lunch into dinner, easy.  Well I thought it would be hard to conquer but I think I am getting used to it.  My biggest complaint is my "digestion".  I have been quite gurgly and 

 

****Stop reading here if you aren't interested in TMI

 

I have been pooping a lot!  And they have not been my nice normal, well formed, solid movements that I am used to (and proud of).  I mean Gillian McKeith would have been proud.  But now I am often on the pot and they are pretty loose, this is unsettling to me.  I haven't really had cramping per se but definitely gurgly.

 

****OK, you can't continue from here B)

 

I have been struggling to figure out what will awaken my dragons and what may be SWYPO  for me.  I definitely know I have a sugar dragon so am avoiding fruits for the most part and keeping any sweet potatoes and plantains to the morning, evening was when I liked to chow down on the sweets.  Other than that I am just trying to pay attention to my cravings and what they are teaching me.

 

Off to make breakfast:

Plantains with chorizo, kale, and eggs.

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Oh folks, tonight is a night for comfort food!  I found out today that a pipe in our crawl space had broken and has been emptying everything (read sewage) into the crawl space.  They are coming out tomorrow to fix it, luckily, but how horrific!  Then, while baking spaghetti squash for my comforting meatballs and sauce, my oven died.  No fuse blown, no wires loose, just dead.  Let me tell you, It took every fiber of my being to not go down the road to Wendy's and pick up a biggie chili cheese fries with a biggie frosty, then on to the liquor store for a bottle of gin.  I didn't, but I really really wanted to.  May tomorrow bring a brighter day!

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The sun is definitely shining more brightly today, literally and figuratively!  We have all sorts of lovely muscled men walking about the house fixing this and that (never mind that they are draining poo from my crawl space, must look at the brighter things)!  And i am heading over to my moms house to pick up my dear sister and take her to a local swimming quarry for the day.  I have a delicious lunch of pulled pork, cilantro lime slaw and avocado packed for myself and money for *****pizza***** for my sister, may I just smell it?!?!  Looking forward to lying in the sun! 

 

I hope you all have a loverly day!

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I fell off the wagon a little bit tonight.  I didn't eat anything off plan but I did have dessert :( A banana with ghee, cinnamon, and coconut flakes (unsweetened).  I knew what I was doing and still I made the choice to do it.  Ok, I feel better now that I've admitted it, moving on, done beating myself up, and beginning refreshed tomorrow.  At least I didn't have the bite of pizza my sister offered me that looked so ooey goooey delicious!  Ugh, OK, now I'm really over it!

 

I think I am eating too many sweet potatoes and plantains.  I haven't gained enough energy yet to feel much like working out but if I keep up with the potatoes I'm gonna have to get my a*s in gear, which I have to do anyway.  I may be getting complacent here on day 13.  I felt as though I had mastered the template so have been making meals with out much thought, being that this is my first W30 AND I chose to snack when not hungry, I need to recheck and be more mindful. 

 

Cravings are pretty intense this week, and surprisingly I AM having dreams about food.  Last night I dreamt I ate something off plan, once I realized it I began spitting it out and trying to make myself throw-up.  It was slightly upsetting and gave me flashbacks to my teenage struggles with an eating disorder.  I tried to shake it off but the feeling has stuck with me most of the day.  I guess I am having a bit of a slump today.  I had such a grand time at my mom's house with my sister, maybe coming home was a bit of a let down, meaning, back to cooking and cleaning, and being a professional homemaker.  Even homemakers need a vacation from their jobs.  

 

The hubinator will be out of town this weekend and I am looking forward to it AND dreading it.  I am going to have to hold myself accountable all weekend, no one looking over my shoulder.  I have a full day planned on Saturday but am not sure what to do Sunday.  If I keep busy then hopefully I won't have time to obsess.  Looking forward to next week and hopefully catching a glimpse of the elusive "Tiger Blood" 

 

On a lighter note, I saw this article on FB and it had me in stitches.  It reminded that "Serious, Serious, is Crazy"  and that I need to take a step back and not take myself so damn seriously!  This is a lesson I am having a hard time learning.  I hope you all read it, it's pretty damn funny and made my evening!

 

"The Terrible Tragedy of the Healthy Eater"

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TMI:

 

My poop has been irregular the past week or so. A lot looser than I like (interesting how we have a poo preference!). I've started using digestive enzymes top help my body absorb the nutrients. I think it is helping. I have also re-introduced kombucha and think it might be contributing to the looseness lately. I am going to split a bottle up into 3 servings instead of 2 and see how that goes. I would suggest the super enzymes by Now! I do think they help.

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Laura thank you, I will try that.  I've been drinking kombucha for years so I don't think it's that but many have reported good things from the digestive enzymes.  Will pick them up tomorrow :)

 

Physibeth, yes.  We were planning on adopting a boy cat a couple years ago and name him Mr. Furry Pants but this beautiful little lady fell in our lap and we quickly figured out the female version.  She is my everything :wub:

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We have 2 cats. Cleo is the older one that I got when I first moved here from the East coast. The 2nd I got when I was dating my husband and we wanted to give her a proper geek name so she became River (after the Firefly character) and she fits it nicely.

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Good Morning!!  I am refreshed and ready to begin week 3, day 15.  Heading out to the farmer's market to purchase my veggies for the week and then over to a farm stand to grab eggs, and out to another farm to pick up some meat.  The sun is shining, it's a mild 70ish degrees and the day is beautiful! 

 

I am determined to get my head back in the game, I think I have been going through the motions but not actually learning any thing from this.  I have been giving into snacking cravings the last few days and that is NOT good.  Spending this weekend, while the hubinator is outta town, getting my self back on track and setting myself up to win. 

 

That being said, off to the market, coconut oil tea in hand ;)

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What a glorious day!  The farmer's market was quite successful, I love when things get into full swing! 

 

My Haul:

4 bu Tatsoi, 2 purple, 2 green

1 bu Mustard Greens

2 bu Beets, 1 gold, 1 red -processed beet greens and stems as well

2 bu Curly Cress -OMG delicious, do not pass it up if you see it

1 head Cabbage

2 lbs Mushrooms, oytser, crimini, shitake

2 bu Garlic scapes

2 heads Garlic

6 Kirby Cukes

6 Turnips

4 lbs pastured chicken, breasts and thighs

1 lb sage breakfast sausage (woodland pork)

1 lb Chorizo

2 doz pastured eggs

 

When I got home I cooked up 2 lbs of the chicken and processed all the greens except the mustard and cress.  Everything has been steam-sauteed per "Well Fed".  The cukes are fermenting for full sour pickles, and the cabbage is fermenting into kraut (can't make enough of the stuff).

 

I also made almond milk, gazpacho, crispy coconut flakes, and a double batch of red curry with eggplant, chayote, and broccoli (using up the end of last week's veggies). 

 

I feel well prepped for next week.  I find I do better if I menu plan so tomorrow I am going to figure out meals based on what all I have. 

 

Now, all settled into bed with Mizz Fuzz and a cup of ginger chamomile, ready to head of to a full night sleep.

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