Aleai811 Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Good morning everyone, I first attempted by first Whole30 14 days ago. I made it a week before caving to a few glasses of wine. I started again last Sunday and made it 5 more days before caving to more than a few glasses of wine. This led to a day of very off-plan eating. Here's my question. I'm 27, single and dating. I recently moved across the country for a new job and have spent the past 5 months trying to make new friends and settle in. For my demographic (especially in San Francisco), wine, drinking and going out are a huge part of the social culture. I'm certainly not immune to emotional eating issues and they've become much more prevalent since I moved out here (largely triggered by nights filled with new friends...and many drinks). This is my main reason for attempting a Whole30 and it is so fundamentally important to me to prove that I can do this. I feel incredibly committed to this lifestyle and I believe in it...but then when I'm on a date, or in social situations where everyone is drinking (and not wanting to avoid this situations because I'm still trying to make new friends), the craving become so strong and I act impulsively. Is anyone else in a similar situation? How do you handle? Is there anyone out there who would be willing to mentor me through this or be a 'buddy?' I don't know what to do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terresa Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Cranberry juice and club soda or sparkling water works for me. It looks like a red wine spritzer, and is sippable. But it has to be pure juice, not cocktail. Failing that, club soda or sparkling water with lemon or lime works for me. You can do this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmcip Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 You can so do this! I totally understand though often wine has been my downfall as well but just keep reminding yourself that it's only 30 days. You can do anything for 30 days. For the next 30 days maybe suggest other activities with your friends, meeting at the gym or going for a walk instead of a restaurant or bar. You can do this...take it one day at a time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaLee Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I've tried countless times and have never made it past 20, and I still keep trying!! I'm on Day 15 of this try and I think I'm going to make it this time. I have been eating more Paleo over the last year than before, but my nemesis has been sugar - ice cream, to be exact. Four of the last five months have been hideous in this regard, but now I've been 15 days without either ice cream or Dt Mt Dew, my other problem. I'm not single or 27, but if you don't mind having an older "buddy"...here I am! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoJo09 Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 If it's the booze, rather than the food, that's proving to be a problem, why don't you create a challenge with your friends? Make it a fundraiser if you like - I'm not sure about over there, but in Australia we have things called Ocsober and Dry July, where you get people to sponsor you to go without alcohol for the month (they're official events, fundraising for things like Life Education for kids, and cancer research). It's removing a bit of the personal responsibility from the decision, but it could be helpful to get you over the hump of needing/wanting to have a drink while out. Also, don't think of it as "can I?" or "try" because that's giving your brain a bit of wiggle room - say "I am" and it will be that little bit easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Strathdee Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 I absolutely love the idea of a fundraiser! Do good for yourself and others! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa Urban Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Aleai811, Apologies from the moderator team! We were trying to delete Robin's double-post, and ended up wiping out this whole thread. I've restored it, though - sorry for the trouble. Best, Melissa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Have you written down some clear goals and reasons for doing a Whole30? Are these goals/reasons worth passing up glasses of wine when out with friends or on a date? It's perfectly okay if your reasons for doing a Whole30 aren't compelling enough to forego social drinking. If the reasons are compelling enough, then maybe you'll have to pass on social activities that involve drinking for a few weeks in order to get through the 30 days. Can you come up with other social activities that you could plan for you and your friends that don't involve food and drinking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UTfootball747 Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Don't go out for 30 days? Or maybe at least not for the first week or two, so that you've banked enough time that your willpower to abstain is higher? I'll go out for special occasions (a friend's birthday, etc.), but for the most part going out to watch others drink while abstaining really isn't a great time, even for people who don't usually drink. I haven't become a hermit, but I'm definitely not headed to happy hour after work. Next month. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowpine Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 The best thing that I have learned (and need to keep reminding myself too!) is that usually only declining the first drink is the hardest. As others have said, get something else and have that in your hand. In many settings I have found that people will make a big deal about the first drink...."what you're not drinking" "but we all are" "that sucks, why would you do that" etc! However, you can stay strong through that first ordering situation, then my experience has been that people will stop trying to change your mind, and once they get to their second (and more) drinks, they have forgotten and don't care! Then you can be thankful that you're not consuming empty calories from alcohol or engaging in any of the mindless snacking that typically goes along with drinking. Try it for some outings and see how it goes! Who knows, you might also find a kindred spirit who will follow your example instead of the rest of the crowd.... Good luck you can do this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jtandi Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 San Francisco is a great place to meet healthy like-minded people. if you are on facebook look up SF Primal group, moderator Johnny is a member (I am too but live down in Sunnyvale) - they seem to have picnics/etc some times. they also seem to have great tips of where to go/etc in SF. if you are new in town I would suggest trying to create a new friend base in a like-minded group yes, you can do this! other tips are great, make a decision not to drink for 30 days. it's really not that long or that hard, it's just 30 days. drink club soda or something else. don't get yourself caught up on "I didn't do it before/I can't do it now" mentality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleai811 Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 Hi everyone, Thanks for all your wonderful advice. I just found the post after it was refreshed! I really appreciate your kind words and suggestions- I really like these ideas and I know that I can do this! Thanks again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PamH Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I've failed twice, too. Still, the health benefits I've seen in the past 50+ days have been remarkable! I don't think you need to feel too badly about yourself if you are staying with Whole30 for the vast majority of the time while you are trying to figure out how to navigate the social drinking situation. Outside of a few slip ups, you ARE doing it! I know the Whole30 restricts alcohol, but (red) wine really isn't *that* bad for you, so technically you are failing the W30 but physically you have chosen a not-so-bad vice as long as it isn't excessive. I don't drink anymore. I've been that way for several years now since I feel like crap when I do drink (I'm old... 48 ). I sure do remember being young and single, though! I don't know if I could have been super social while W30 since I was pretty shy and the 1-2 beers gave me some confidence. sigh BUT... hang in there. Experiment with fun, fizzy, non alcoholic cocktails for 30 days. Eat before you go out so you are not tempted to chow down on the non-compliant foods while out with friends. Enjoy yourself, but be mindful of your goal. The glass of wine can come later if you decide to reintroduce alcohol after 30 days. It is, after all, only 30 days. Challenge yourself: I get that drinking socially makes you fit in and the pressure to participate is high. Just explain to your closer friends what you are doing for ONE MONTH and maybe one of them will do it with you. Put your cranberry juice/seltzer/lime in a wine glass and nobody will be the wiser and you will feel proud. Good luck to you in your new city! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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