sad and frustrated

[EileenM]

[i love this post.  Amy, thank you so very much!

[EileenM]

This comment is not directly Whole30 related, but I hope it will speak to you and others.

My daughter has always struggled with her weight, and when she met her husband, she was at her heaviest (5'3" and probably about 250 lbs) She had a beautiful wedding and she looked like herself in her gorgeous dress with her radiant, shining face. Her husband was in love with her just as she was, it was obvious. After several years, she decided to wanted to work on losing weight and she did...lost 100 lbs in about a year. Of course she looked beautiful and she felt great, but this is what she told me...the motivation to lose weight came when she realized she did not have to look a certain way to be loved and valued. The unconditional love she received from her husband helped her to value and love herself enough to make the changes she needed to make, not because she was trying to be loved, but because she already was.

Now, I'm not saying that a woman needs a man to love her to feel good about herself. The point I am trying to make is that we all have someone who loves us...parent, friend, child, dog (haha) God...and that we are loved the way we are. And realizing that we are valuable because of what is on the inside will move us toward making the desired changes on the outside.

So you will GLOW on your wedding day whatever you weigh, and when your husband sees you walking down that aisle, he will see the woman he loves. That's YOU. Not a number on a scale.

Blessings!

[beachchica]

EileenM- your post brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful story- thank you for sharing. I think we all need to remember that we are loved by someone, and this should help us to love ourselves

[Ophelia]

I have BED too and can totally relate to that loss of control and the shame and beating yourself up after. It's definitely important to be kind to yourself and move on after a binge, otherwise those bad feeling just make us binge again, and then it becomes a vicious cycle.

Avoiding fruit the first weeks has helped me control the physical sugar cravings. Journaling (as another poster recommended) has also helped me recognize when my cravings and impulses are emotional motivated (which often binges are). I always note the time, the craving, and the feelings behind it. Then I can tackle the feeling (anxiety for example) with an alternative to binging, like checking off some pressing tasks on a to-do list.

Practicing pause and journaling before you binge is great because it gives you the ability to stop, check in with yourself, and then choose a better path before you lose control. I know without it, you often go straight into a kind of binging "trance" and don't stop to think and process your feelings until its too late.

I also have a list of go-to distractions that can be helpful when the urge to binge is persistent and I often get through a few before the urge passes, but it always does. Some of the things on my list include putting in white strips (buys you 30 minutes), painting your nails, drinking (not chugging) 20 oz of water from a water bottle... By the time I'm done, I'm usually in a safer place.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Make sure to take care of yourself and find healthy ways to alleviate stress.